The Memoirs Of Amy Rose
by xoxomtmodnarxoxo
Summary: Amy Rose is given a diary as a gift. At first, she is hesitant but as the pages gradually fill up, Amy soon discovers that her diary becomes much more significant than she could have ever imagined.
1. Dear Diary

**Hi Guys! Thought I'd try something different and take a break from writing 'Hide And Seek'. Hope you enjoy the first chapter!**

**Sonic and other characters belong to Sega.**

***As seen from Episode 9 of Sonic X - 'Amy On The Beach'**

**A/N - This entry takes place at the beginning of Sonic X Episode 45 (Watch it and you'll understand), and the minor dialogue from Mr. Tanaka and Ella (see below, after Amy whimpers "Oh, God...") is owned by 4Kids (ugh.). The book reference 'He's Just Not That Into You' is owned by Greg Behrendt.**

**~Xoxomtmodnarxoxo**

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"Ooh!", Amy cried angrily, "That Sonic! Damn it, he makes me so _mad_ sometimes!"

"That's boys for you", Ella replied politely as she entered the large living room, "They can be so complex the majority of the time!"

"But _why_?", Amy whimpered, "Why me? Why must I suffer through all of this? Why won't he admit he likes me? I know-"

"You may _think_ he likes you", Ella corrected her. Amy scowled fiercely at Ella, despite Ella's kind and gentle nature. Okay, Ella was being quite harsh but she was telling the _truth_; if Sonic really _liked_ Amy he would have asked her out by now at the very least, but Amy couldn't handle the truth at all. She would rather be blind towards Sonic's faults than actually admit them to herself or others.

"I _know_ he likes me", Amy answered firmly, "He's just… just… _shy_"

"Indeed", answered Mr. Tanaka who was busy arranging a teacup and saucer to pour out some tea, "Sometimes that may be the case, men can be quite intimidated by the thought of asking a girl out"

"So, if the male population owns the majority of the power in the entire World", Amy questioned, "How is it so _difficult_ for them to ask a girl out? Answer me _that_, Tanaka!"

"Well… erm…", Mr. Tanaka struggled, unable to look Amy in the eye. Amy scowled at him and sighed in an exasperated manner. She sat back on the sofa and closed her eyes slowly. Life, indeed, was very complicated for her. Amy _knew_ she could do much _better _than Sonic and attempted to get over him, but failed automatically. What _was_ it about Sonic that attracted her? Of course, Amy couldn't ignore his gorgeous emerald-green eyes and his handsome smile. She couldn't ignore his happy-go-lucky attitude or his lovely personality or how he always appeared to rescue her when she was in trouble… oh, yes, Amy Rose couldn't help but be in love with Sonic.

But then again, where did that leave her? There she sat in the Thorndyke's living room with two of her closest friends, the idea that the hedgehog she was in love with simply didn't feel the same way towards her as she did towards him killing her emotionally. Amy was always there to save _him_ whenever she had to, she could still recall plunging into the ocean after destroying Eggman's robot to save Sonic* and how she clung onto his shell bracelet whilst the salty waters overwhelmed her, unable to let go, and yet she was left feeling rejected and unloved. Amy's eyes filled with tears. What else was she to do to capture Sonic's attention? Why was she kidding herself? She was so _childish_ to believe she would still have a chance with Sonic even though he was completely oblivious to her attempts to gain his love. He never noticed her.

And he probably never would.

"Oh, God", Amy whimpered, knuckling her forehead. She didn't want to cry, she didn't want to cry… not in front of Ella or Mr. Tanaka, not at that moment of time. _What a great way to handle my depression_, she thought despairingly to herself.

"My chocolate peanut-butter pie!", Ella announced proudly as she produced a delicious looking pastry on her favourite china plate onto the table in front of Amy, "It's warm, right from the oven"

Amy stared at the pie that smelt gloriously of chocolate and other sweet smells, acting as a comfortable solution to cheer her up. That was another thing. Since Sonic ignored her, Amy did nothing but eat. Not to a _great_ extent, but a nibble here and there; _anything_ to lighten her mood. She always kept her weight a secret, but Amy could already feel a bit of flab beginning to grow on her stomach. Horrified by this, Amy crouched on an awkward position, hoping Ella wouldn't notice and comment.

"Do not worry so, Miss Amy", Mr. Tanaka advised the pink hedgehog as he poured some tea into the teacup, "Try to cheer up; thing's will be much brighter before you know it"

Amy snorted at his comment. In her opinion, things would _never _become brighter for her.

"Just when it seems like the clouds will never pass", Mr. Tanaka explained as he put the cup of tea onto the table, "The sun will come shining through your window"

Amy stared at the warm cup of tea, and then at the pie. Normally, she would have told herself to get a life, but for once her own advice seemed so worthless that Amy was inclined to refer to her friends for moral support.

"I hope you're right", Amy mumbled. Ella smiled reassuringly at Amy. Amy suddenly grabbed a piece of the chocolate pie and announced fiercely, "I won't think about him any more!"

And yet, as Amy held the warm pastry to her lips, she felt defeated once more. It was useless. Amy knew for a fact that if she tried to ignore Sonic, he would do or say something that would capture her attention and she would fall head over heels in love once again.

Ella must have been thinking the same thing as she produced a small brown paper bag. Amy eyed the bag suspiciously.

"Amy?", Ella asked, "Look, I got you something when I was in town today. I hope it's useful…"

Amy took the package and pulled out the object in the brown bag. It was a thick notebook; a diary and a matching pen. Amy absent-mindedly opened the diary and flipped through the pages. Each page remained empty and fresh, ready to be written on.

"Um… it's empty?", Amy remarked stupidly. Ella chuckled.

"Of course", Ella answered, "Whenever you feel down and you feel nobody understands you, you can always write your feelings down"

"Well…", Amy began, "Thanks, I guess"

Ella smiled and left with Mr. Tanaka so that Amy was left alone in the lounge with her new diary. Amy was never really a _writer_ so she knew she would have problems writing a sentence never mind an actual diary entry! But then again… she had heard once before that writing your feelings down helps you to 'clear your mind'. Also, Amy decided it would be nice to keep a journal so that she could look back at her memories fondly and reminisce her past experiences.

Amy sat back on the sofa once more and opened the diary. It was time to get rid of the unwanted tears over Sonic. She took a deep breath and began to write…

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_Dear Diary,_

_God, I feel so childish writing a diary, but since I've been through so much, I feel that I can only confide in you. You see (Oh, I feel so foolish) I have fallen in and out of love for many years. And the hedgehog I've fallen in and out of love with is somebody called Sonic The Hedgehog. Indeed, on paper such as this he sounds like an ordinary hedgehog, but he's more than ordinary - he's WONDERFUL! He's handsome, brave, smart, fast, and oh so brilliant! It's no wonder that I've fallen heavily for him! And… and yet, despite my feelings, Sonic simply doesn't feel the same way about me…_

_I know it seems so old-fashioned and corny, but the first time I had met him I just simply fell in love with him. It wasn't infatuation - it was __**love**__. I actually heard music in my mind whenever I thought about him. Have you ever had a moment in your life when it's love at first sight and you simply __**know**__ it? That's how it felt for me, and it was a brilliant feeling._

_WAS a brilliant feeling. Note the emphasis on my past tense. Sonic may be the hero of my dreams, but he can be a complete asshole at the worst of times. Sometimes he can be rude and conceited and selfish and… and I stupidly ignore his flaws. Why have I never noticed Sonic's faults before? God. And his worst flaw is that he __**never **__notices me! That's what really annoys me the most! What a douche bag! I read in Ella's book the other day - '__**He's Just Not That Into You**__' - it claims that if a guy likes you, he will ask you out. Well, I've been waiting for ages and ages and nothing! Now, I feel as if my dressing up and styling my quills and helping Sonic out and acting up and flirting has been a complete waste of time. Come to think of it, if that's the case, have I wasted four years of my life? Am I really pathetic running after Sonic if he would barely put in the effort to acknowledge my existence?_

_When will I learn not to run after him all of the time?_

_Well, screw him! I can do MUCH better than Sonic!_

_Anyway, enough of Sonic, this is __**my**__ diary, so I should at least introduce myself. I am Amy Rose. I am 12 years old, and I currently stay in Chris Thorndyke's mansion. Chris claims that it's not a mansion but simply a very spacious house. I know Chris is simply saying this as not to give the impression that he's extremely well-off, but he really is. His father is rather important with his company but I'm completely enchanted with Chris's mother! She's absolutely glamorous with her gorgeous outfits and her jewellery and her adorable personality - unlike my own mother, of course. My mother was always quite aloof and found me to be quite annoying the majority of the time and always belittled me whenever she had the chance. Hence why I left home at the age of 12 and never went back. I attended High School for a short period of time before I left home where I gained good grades, not that I'm boasting. And then one day, the entire gang suddenly transported from our World to Chris's World. At first it was frightening - and annoying! I was stuck with Knuckles most of the time since we were hiding from the Army by travelling underground and all he did was moan about everything and then there were robots and there was a sudden rush and all of a sudden we were hidden in Chris's mansion. I can say, it's quite infuriating the fact that we couldn't even go outside without the paparazzi annoying us, but then again Humans wouldn't be used to seeing us around, would they? In fact, we're STILL hidden the majority of the time. It's coming to the point where I just want to go home, despite everything that Chris has done for us…_

_Anyway, I love to cook food! It's such an amazing hobby and I especially love to bake cakes. They're practically my speciality. Although, I find baking meringues quite challenging. Nonetheless, I also love to shop and hang out with my best friends, Cream, Cheese, Tails, and Chris - although I do find Chris fantastically irritating the majority of the time, mainly because all he does whine and you can't help but wish he would at least shut up and kick some ass. That's not to say that everybody else is peachy-perfect, I mean, Cream can be quite naive and childish most of the time, Tails can be a bit of a nerd when he's with Chuck, Knuckles is simply rude and spiteful when he wants to be, to which I can't __**stand**__ him, and even I can admit that I'm quite annoying and needy sometimes, but usually I'm bubbling with charm. And, of course, there's Sonic, but I've already mentioned him so many times already so I won't go into anymore details. In the near future, I want to open my own bakery one day and sell cakes, and maybe travel abroad and study languages. Oh, I want to do it all! _

_So, this diary will be a recollection of what will occur during my everyday life from now on. Funny - Ella and Vanilla, Cream's mom, keep telling me that my teenage years should be the happiest moments of my entire life, but all I'm left wondering is, considering worrying about my weight and fighting Dr. Eggman and my problems with Sonic, who do they think they're kidding?_


	2. The Battle

**Hey guys! Here's the second entry!**

**Enjoy!**

**~Xoxomtmodnarxoxo**

**A/N: This entry takes place between episode 45 and 46 of 'Sonic X'. Dialogue belongs to 4Kids. Misha and Hannah are OCs.**

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_Dear Diary,_

_Oh God, it's true! I've gained weight! Argh, I hate that stupid hedgehog for ruining my looks! And I never noticed how much until I was at the Chaos Emerald Tournament today - you could imagine how self-conscious I felt! I kid you not, I actually noticed a tiny bulge around my stomach. But that wasn't the worst part of it… I actually had to fight against Sonic! I remember standing there staring back at him, my dress clinging to my back in an unpleasant manner because I was sweating so badly with anxiety. I felt the audiences' attention on me, on Sonic, and I __**knew**__ what the audience wanted to see as they kept giving us suggestive looks; their eyebrows raised expectedly and their gazes screaming, "__**FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT**__!". And as I stood there in the middle of the stadium, all I could think was, "How did it ever come to this…?"_

_Ah, allow me to explain. Since Dr. Eggman had escaped from prison, the President of the United States of America had decided to throw a tournament and announced a Chaos Emerald as a prize for the winner as an alibi to capture Dr. Eggman. Personally, I thought it was a rather stupid idea since Humans were allowed to enter the tournament - what would have happened if a Human had won the Chaos Emerald? Who would be so idiotic to do such a thing, since we, the Mobians, need the Chaos Emeralds the most to go back home? Then again, it __**was**__ a good excuse to encourage Dr. Eggman to come out of hiding. It's a shame that they weren't able to arrest that moustached bastard today. But there is tomorrow, after all._

_So, although it isn't New Year, I had originally decided to myself that I would move on from Sonic and look in other places for decent, promising, lovable men. However, since we're stuck on Planet Earth, that has proven to be quite difficult. My choices in men turned out to be rather limited: Tails (far too young), and Knuckles (too rude and has too many anger issues - simply impossible). Though for a short period of time, I did think about Shadow the Hedgehog. He was a hedgehog designed by Dr. Gerald Robotnik (typical!) and he attempted to help destroy the planet by using the Space Colony Ark, as a supposed promise to somebody called Maria. It's not the fact that he tried to end all life on Earth that forces me to think about him now, but it's simply his __**appearance**__ that really attracts my attention. True, he was very distant and isolated but he looked exactly like Sonic (honestly, it's impossible to try and get over Sonic if I always compare Sonic to basically everything in my life!). I mean, Shadow is rather good-looking, in my opinion! Shadow had this look on his face that basically had it's own sex appeal, and he had an adorable amount of chest fur - wow. I actually fought not to reach out and stroke it. Also, his voice was also quite dark and mysterious. I've never noticed before, but when I think about Shadow now, I get a random case of the chills, and I also feel… __**happy**__…_

_Oh, my God! Can it be? Am I actually crushing on Shadow? And, for once, not on Sonic? Am I moving on? Does daydreaming about Shadow at night and imagine being with him a sign of moving on from Sonic?_

_Life is, indeed, complicated._

_**Anyway**__, so when the President announced that he was holding a tournament, we were all hesitant at first. As we watched the commercials for the tournaments on the television, Tails suddenly announced, "Well, Chris, we'd better call that number and enter!"_

"_But, Tails", Chris commented, "Are you crazy? Didn't you see that commercial?"_

_I couldn't help but agree with Chris. The idea was crazy: who in the right mind would fight against Knuckles, for God's sake? But before we could even object, we received a phone call from Chris's father, announcing he had entered himself in the tournament… and he thought it would be great to enter us in the tournament, too! Even though Chris's father owns a large company, he can be quite dim when he wants to be. Why does he assume that because we have the X-Tornado and my Piko Piko hammer and Sonic and whatever that we would automatically join in on something like the tournament?_

_But, oh, how I wanted to laugh when Chris's father had also entered Ella and Mr. Tanaka in the tournament!_

"_He wants __**me**__ to battle?", Ella practically screamed. We were all joking… but the joke was on us when we eventually arrived at the Stadium to begin fighting when we realised we were to actually physically hurt one another! At one point Chris lied and cheated as he pretended to be upset over fighting with his friend, Danny, who he was fighting against. In all honesty, I was stunned! I didn't expect Chris to act in such a way, and yet, in a sense, I was rejoicing! At last, Chris wasn't an annoying, whining idiot; he actually took action into his own hands! _

_I must admit I had fought against the small annoying runt also known as Bokkun. Ugh, he can be very irritating! At first, I thought it was a joke when he appeared on the stage with me._

"_No way!", I cried, "They let __**you**__ enter this thing?"_

"_What's wrong with me?", Bokkun whimpered and began to cry. I then felt very mean, and also quite anxious when I heard the audience around me beginning to murmur. I couldn't hear exactly what they were saying but I heard a lot of bitter remarks; one girl even commented what a bitch I can be! I then reassured Bokkun that he was actually awesome and that he wasn't a loser. Because of my lovely charming nature, I managed to win the audience over but Bokkun wasn't too convinced, and let's just say my hammer came in contact with his face…_

_Nonetheless, we all put up a good fight. I'm delighted to write that I have my own group of fans! I now understand how Sonic feels when he has a large group of fans cheering him on. But it can be quite annoying, too. The pressure to physically harm a contestant was too overbearing for me. As a result, I lost against a battle with Rouge the Bat. Rouge is… currently testing my patience! Honestly, I can barely stand to be in the same room as her! She's rude, stuck-up, ignorant, and… and… she's exactly who I want to be someday; somebody who is tough and quick-thinking and can live her life without fussing over whether or not boys like her (not that I'm referring to __**any**__ boy in particular… HINT, SONIC!). But what really got me was the remark she made earlier today during our battle at the Tournament. We were fighting (and I was losing dramatically) and before I knew it, Rouge had managed to out-smart me and my Piko Piko hammer went flying out of my hands…_

"_This just proves that a hammer is __**no **__match for a bat!", Rouge smirked as I breathed heavily through my mouth. Oh, how I wanted to rip her smug head off! It was completely unfair, __**and**__ I had lost my chances of winning the Chaos Emerald! Honestly, Rouge has the ability to make a nun swear, especially Knuckles. Then again, once I think about it, does Rouge have feelings for… __**Knuckles**__? At first, I thought the idea was ludicrous, but when she demanded that they could 'negotiate' inside a tent on the middle of the stage 'in private', which Rouge hinted heavily, I couldn't help but feel suspicious. Nobody could see what was happening inside the tent, but we could easily hear quite a lot of fighting inside the tent… but a lot more could have happened inside the dark tent that we didn't find out about, if you know what I mean…_

_But drastic news! Emerl had won the Chaos Emerald (a robot which Cream had found a few days earlier) and all of a sudden, Emerl was destroying the city! Nobody, not even myself, could have stopped him. We concluded that he malfunctioned because of the power of the Chaos Emerald, but if Emerl had managed to beat Sonic, Knuckles, and Rouge all at once, then the Chaos Emerald must have been seriously powerful! And yet in the end, much to our surprise, Cream and Cheese had attacked and managed to defeat Emerl once and for all. Needless to say, the scene was heartbreaking as we watched Emerl falling into the ocean and Cream remaining hovering in the air with Cheese, hugging Cheese and sobbing her heart out. I wish I could talk to Cream about what had happened… but I don't know what to say. I mean, Emerl was Cream's best and closest friend, and the idea that she has lost him makes me think about __**my **__friends back home and how much I miss __**them**__. Oh, how I long to be back at home with Misha and Hannah (my neighbours) and go shopping with them and catch up with their gossip… _

_Today has been quite a hectic day, considering, but what has been the most confusing part of it all is Sonic's feelings towards me. At first, he ignored me. And then, at the tournament, when we were battling one another, Sonic saved me from Dr. Eggman's blast from his hovercraft and, oh, I'm seriously blushing as I'm writing this, but he had one arm around my waist and one hand holding the back of my head! Now, this was all new to me, so I can only imagine what you must be thinking, my dear diary. Not to mention the fact that he saved me from one of Emerl's violent attacks…_

_Oh well, it must mean that he cares about me._

_Or does he?_

_Sonic __**must **__care about me, even the slightest. Or was he just being friendly, today?_

_I hate him._

_No, I don't._

_I **certainly **hate Sonic when he ignores me. God, why can't guys just be honest about how they feel towards girls they like? If Sonic doesn't watch out, I might end up finding another Mobian who will be good-looking and kind and gentle and loving and end up falling head-over-heels in love with him. That would teach Sonic to be more responsive to girls. But even if that **was** the case, everybody knows that it would be completely impossible for me since I've been Sonic's number one devoted fan since... well... **ever**._

_Hmm, God, it's too late at night and I'm completely bruised all over my body after today's tournament (no thanks to a certain Bat!). I need to get some sleep. But I can't help but ignore the fact that today, we learn that we __**all**__ can be aggressive when we want to be and that competition brings out the worst in us, especially when a Chaos Emerald is involved. And even if that's the case, it's important to remember that it's not the end of the World if we lose, for in the end we all win. Take a look at Cream and Emerl, for example: Cream lost her best friend but as a result we earned another Chaos Emerald to get back home. Surely that's what Cream wants, too, right? To be home and back to our usual routines in our small town? _

_But what I also learned, as I watched Cream say goodbye to Emerl, is that I've taken my friends for granted back home. I should really appreciate them for who they are and what they do because one day I might lose them unexpectedly. I mean, it's not as if I can magically make a phone appear that could easily transfer phone calls between two Worlds, but if I could I would __**love **__to get in touch with Misha and Hannah because I feel so homesick and lonely._

_Oh, God. I just want to go home…_

_Yours, Amy._


	3. Paradise Lost

**Here's the third entry, guys! Enjoy!**

**Credit for the dream sequence goes to MoonLitSky262 - I hope you like it, MoonLitSky262!**

**Dream Sequence and ending dialogue belongs to me, other dialogue belongs to 4Kids. **

**A/N: This entry takes place between episodes 47 and 48 of 'Sonic X'**

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_

_Dear Diary,_

_Have you ever had that sort of dream where it's so __**real **__and wonderful… and all of a sudden it turns into a nightmare __that you feel somewhat pleased when you wake up? I had one of those last night, and it was so __**wonderful **__and yet so confusing that I can't help but share it with you, my dear diary!_

_I remember sitting on a bench in the middle of the park. The park itself wasn't particularly special in any way; it was simply a park with a pond. It was also nightfall and so cold I stifled a cough as I sat on the bench. I was pondering over why I was there when I heard a voice behind me._

"_Hey, you", said the mysterious voice. I spun around and saw an ebony hedgehog with strange chest-fur and red and black quills. My heart raced. Oh, my God! It was Shadow…_

"_Hey", my voice croaked back. I wanted to kick myself for being __**so**__ self-conscious at that moment of time, but I couldn't help but stare into his captivating eyes. Before I could stop myself, I asked loudly, "What are you doing here? I thought you had died after the Space Colony Ark?"_

"_I came back", Shadow replied, "To see you"_

"_Oh", was all I could say. I didn't know what to do or say. I just stood there beside the bench like a complete fool. Oh, God, Shadow's voice was so sexy that it was a wonder that I didn't melt on the spot! Though if I told Shadow that he would have laughed at me. So I decided to stand there, until Shadow shifted uncomfortably._

"_Well?", he asked, "Aren't we going for a stroll together?"_

"_Sure", I squeaked and practically ran towards him. I didn't know what it was. It felt that I simply __**had**__ to obey him, or I would live to regret it. So, when I caught up with him, I could sense strong vibes between us. I was too scared to be beside him let alone grasp him hand. We absent-mindedly wandered down a lone lane in silence before Shadow cleared his throat._

"_I've…", Shadow began, "I've missed you"_

_I felt faint._

"_What?", I whispered._

"_Have you missed me?", he asked suggestively. I swallowed to try and get rid of the hard lump in my throat. After a few minutes, I had found my voice._

"_Yes", I croaked. I then sensed Shadow moving closer to me. My heart began to race rapidly. What was Shadow going to do? What was __**I**__ meant to do? Did Shadow want me to react in a particular way, or did he think I was just being to hard-to-get?_

"_How have things been?", he asked, breaking my line of thought. I stared at him, stunned. His question seemed so unpredictable._

"_How have things __**been**__?", I repeated with disbelief, "Oh, well, that's a great question! You supposedly died saving us all, I've gained weight, Dr. Eggman is being his usual bastard self, half of the moon has been blown up, and all you can ask is how's things been?"_

_I suppose I was quite snappy towards him, and in all honesty I expected Shadow to glare at me or even hit me, but instead he just smirked._

"_So life continues as always", he remarked, "As if nothing ever happened"_

_His statement was suddenly so sad I almost burst into tears. I sniffed slightly and suddenly Shadow peered at me in the moonlight._

"_You're crying", he stated unnecessarily. I fiercely rubbed my eyes._

"_I'm not crying", I replied, "My eyes are itchy"_

"_Indeed", Shadow answered, "But you can't fool me, Amy Rose"_

"_I don't care what you think!", I snapped. Or did I…?_

"_You do", Shadow smirked and suddenly stepped in front of me, "I mean, why else would you be here with me just now? You could have easily chosen to stay by yourself if you wanted to be alone"_

"_Mm", I answered. Shadow smirked and shook his head._

"_You're sad", Shadow remarked, "Welcome to the club, I guess"_

"_Mm", I replied, "Thanks"_

_I dared to glance at him and glanced away quickly when our eyes met each other. Shadow chuckled darkly._

"_You like me", Shadow answered, "I know you do"_

"_No, I don't", I said quickly, blushing to a great extent. Great. Now that I liked this guy, he had sussed me out like a bloodhound. That was just my luck. I decided that I was better off locking myself in a room and never coming out ever again._

"_Yes, you do", Shadow chuckled, studying my face, "Your face says it all"_

_I didn't know what to say. I simply froze on the spot. My facial expression had given it away because Shadow smirked again and moved closer. My legs trembled like jelly._

"_Well, um… So what if I do?", I croaked. Shadow suddenly reached out with one hand and gently held the tip of my chin and tilted my head slightly upwards, forcing me to look at him. Now you understand why this dream was so spectacular! I was so afraid that I was going to faint or vomit, or both! I didn't want to stare into his eyes but his stare was so captivating that I just wanted to gaze at them forever. Could it be? Was this the 'magical' moment that many girls my age eagerly gossip about? Shadow gave me a small smile, his teeth so even and perfect that I really wanted to kiss him right there and then… but I was too scared to even blink._

"_Would it make any difference to say that I like you, too?", Shadow asked, "To say that I would like to spend time with you?"_

"_I-I", I stupidly stuttered._

"_Come on, Amy Rose", Shadow answered smoothly, his face closer to mine (!), "Don't be afraid, I don't bite…"_

_And, all of a sudden, our lips met. It was such a __**FANTASTIC **__feeling! I didn't know whether to crap myself or go blind I was so happy! If I could replay any dream again and again, it would __**definitely**__ be this dream. As we kissed, I found the courage to fling my arms around his neck, and I felt his arms wrap around my waist, pulling me closer to his warm body. I never wanted that moment to end…_

_Unfortunately, it did._

"_Amy?", came a voice from behind. I felt myself slumping slightly against Shadow's body with dismay, the 'magical' moment instantly dying right there and then. I told myself not to turn around, but my curiosity became the better of me and I slowly disconnected my lips from Shadow's and spun my head around. I heard Shadow swear under his breath. I froze on the spot, my arms slowly slid away from Shadow's neck. There, standing behind us with a bemused expression on his face… was Sonic. I wanted the ground to swallow me whole. Sonic slowly stared at me, and then at Shadow._

"_Amy?", Sonic asked again, marching towards us, "What the __**fuck**__ is going on?"_

"_Sonic, I-", I began, but no words could explain what was going on. I felt my body pulling itself away from Shadow and I stood alone in the cold night. I just stared at him helplessly, my mouth slightly open, desperate for an excuse to slip out of my lips. Sonic was right beside me at this point and asked once more, "What's going on, Amy?"_

"_I-", I started before I was interrupted by Shadow._

"_Tell him, Amy", Shadow ordered from behind, "Tell him how much you like me. Tell him that he hasn't got a chance"_

"_I-", I stammered._

"_Tell Faker he's wasting his time", Shadow snapped, "Go on, Amy, tell him!"_

"_Look, I-"_

"_Amy would never do that to me!", Sonic protested, "Just fuck off, Shadow!"_

"_Give her a chance to speak, Faker", Shadow argued, "Not that you noticed, anyway. You hardly ever notice her, do you?"_

"_That's none of your fucking business!", Sonic snapped back, "Everybody knows that me and Amy belong together, so why don't you take your business elsewhere?"_

"_Amy deserves much better than you, Faker", Shadow replied darkly._

"_Better me than you!", Sonic shouted. I stood between them, longing to cover my ears childishly to block out their argument. I was afraid that they would suddenly attack each other. Why, of all times, did they have to fight __**now**__? Especially when it was about me, for God's sake? Weren't they aware that I was right there beside them whilst they bickered? The tension became too much for me. I desperately closed my eyes, trying to disconnect myself from the World and into my own private thoughts. My lips still tingled from Shadow's kiss. Typical! Just when I was having such a beautiful, romantic moment, Sonic came and spoiled it for me - I'm destined to be a spinster forever, even in my dreams as well as in reality…_

"_Well, what's it going to be, Amy?", Sonic suddenly asked, glaring at me, "Are you with me… or __**him**__?"_

_Shadow was also glaring at me. I glanced at the two hedgehogs fearfully, not knowing what to say. What __**did**__ I want? Indeed, I'd always had a crush on Sonic, but then again Shadow responded to my needs so brilliantly. I looked at Shadow. Shadow was much more interesting now, in my opinion, because he took an interest in me and… and… he gave me the attention I needed… but Sonic had always kept me waiting for __**him**__ to make the first move. Waiting too long._

_For a romance that was never going to happen._

_I had decided what to say. And who to choose. I looked at Sonic. His eyes were pleading me to choose him, but he was too late. Too fucking late._

"_Get lost, Sonic!", I announced sharply, "I've been waiting too long for you to ask me out. I'm with Shadow now; it's entirely your loss!"_

_Sonic looked wounded. Shadow smirked triumphantly. Suddenly, I wasn't able to control my tongue as I continued to degrade Sonic:_

"_You're nothing but a selfish douche bag!", I cried, "Do me a favour and drop dead! I've moved on, get over it!"_

"_But, Amy… I-", Sonic began, stunned._

"_But nothing!", I interrupted, "You heard me! Go away and leave me alone with Shadow!"_

_Silent, Sonic slowly turned and ran away. I felt awful… but empowered at the same time. For once, I actually poured my heart out and revealed how I felt about Sonic. Indeed, revenge was sweet! I felt Shadow's right arm slip around my waist as he pulled me closer to his warm body. I responded by resting my head on his shoulder._

"_By the way, Amy", Shadow asked, "What would you like for breakfast?"_

_I looked at him, bemused._

"_What did you say?", I asked._

"_What would you like for breakfast?", Shadow asked…_

_... And, all of a sudden, I was awake. I sat up in my bed to find Ella by the doorway of my room, looking at me as though she was waiting for an answer._

"_I was only asking what you would like for breakfast?", Ella asked. Rubbing my eyes, I replied that I preferred to have toast for breakfast this morning, fearing the idea of Ella overhearing me talking in my sleep. __**If**__ I talk in my sleep. Do I…?_

_If that's the case, did Ella overhear the horrible things I said about Sonic in my dream? She would have probably been too polite to notice, but how can I be so sure? An even worse thought came to my mind; what if __**Sonic**__ overheard me talking in my sleep? I resolve to stay away from him today at all costs._

_

* * *

_

_Of course, if you're friends with Sonic The Hedgehog, attempting to stay away from him is completely impossible. Today, the news reporter Scarlet Garcia reported the disappearance of some G.U.N soldiers, who were sent out to sea on their ship a few days ago. In addition, an ancient map had been stolen from Dr. Cantbury (Haven't the faintest idea what his first name is, but never mind), which was the key to the secret origin of the island Marisia. Funnily enough, I've never even heard of Marisia whilst being on Earth, but that's to be expected. Nonetheless, we discovered that the tiny part of the lost continent had survived the volcanic explosion that took place hundreds of years ago, and __**that**__ was where the G.U.N ship, the 'Seahawk', disappeared…_

_So before I knew it, we were on the Thorndyke cruise waiting to depart. Cream, Vanilla, and Cheese stayed behind and wished us all a good trip. I sometimes feel that Vanilla is just __**too**__ protective over Cream. True, Cream is only six years old, but how else is she suppose to mature and learn new things if Vanilla keeps getting in her way all of the time? Yet, in a sense, I'm completely jealous that Cream has a loving and caring mother whilst my own mother didn't care about me the slightest. I remember the arguments we used to have and how she always screamed at me that it was my fault that I existed and if she had the choice she would go out with her friends rather than being stuck indoors with a boring person like myself, and that I was - and I quote - 'the biggest mistake of her life'. And yet, when I see Cream and Vanilla together, I see true mother-and-daughter bonds and love between them, something that I had missed out on as a child…_

_No, I mustn't cry. I must concentrate on telling you about our adventure today._

_**So**__, we all had mixed feelings about the mission. Even Sonic had his doubts. He began to look very nervous as we scanned the map and admitted, "This whole story seems kind of whacky to me!"_

"_The doctor knows what he's talking about", Knuckles stated, "You're just getting nervous because you're surrounded by H20!"_

"_Water doesn't scare me anymore!", Sonic argued, "I just don't like getting wet"_

_Uh-huh. Sure thing, Sonic. And I tried to remain a woman of my word today by staying away from him as much as possible. My dream was just so realistic that I couldn't help but blush whenever I stood near Sonic. I think he noticed because at one point the asked me if I was okay. I answered his question by scurrying away. I wanted the underwater volcanoes in Marisia to blow up underneath my feet and end my misery right there and then…_

_At one point we were close to the island, and as Sonic and Knuckles bickered over who was in charge, something beeped on the navigation system and all of a sudden we noticed something rising from underneath the ocean, and then there was a sudden pressure coming from the rising object, causing the cruise to rock backwards and forwards between the ocean waves. The X-Tornado lost it's balance and fell over on the ship, causing one of the legs of the plane to break off. Tails was devastated! But for once, we all ignored Tails's outcry and focussed on the mysterious object - the rather __**large**__ mysterious object - rising from the sea and stood before us in an intimidating manner. The strange object looked very much like a large ship and Dr. Eggman's logo printed on the paintwork - no surprises there, I guess._

"_That ship belongs to Eggman!", I stated unnecessarily. Well… somebody had to state the obvious! Dr. Eggman ordered us to surrender or he would use his ship to destroy us, the Air Force (God only knows what gave him that idea) and the 'Seahawk' at the same time. It turned out that Dr. Eggman stole the map that led him to the 'hotspot' of the World, which turned out to be the weakest spot of the Planet's crust, therefore every single volcano would erupt if the volcano in the 'hotspot' in Marisia erupted at any given moment! Christ, I'm not even a teenager and yet there was a high risk of me falling to my inevitable death right there and then! Of course, the selfish Doctor declared that he was going to encourage the volcano to erupt to destroy the planet, and build an Eggman Empire in the ruins of the Earth. Sonic attempted to stop Eggman, only to bounce against the Eggman ship and fall straight into the water…_

_I knew that I was suppose to hate him and avoid him at all costs at that time, but I couldn't help but feel worried nonetheless. Thankfully, Chris saved him by jumping into the water and pulled him to safety. I mean, I still disliked Sonic to a great extent, but I didn't want him to __**drown**__. I must admit I was so worried about Sonic that I badgered poor Tails to fix the X-Tornado faster, therefore receiving glares from Tails and Chuck. _

"_I'm trying, Amy, we need a little more time!", Tails protested as he secured bolts inside the X-Tornado. I beg his pardon, but shouldn't Tails always check that all the bolts and screws were tightly secured in the plane, since he's completely obsessed with the blessed thing? As we repaired the plane, a voice crackled on Chuck's walkie-talkie:_

"_Sir, we've spotted something on the sonar", the voice confirmed._

"_Can't this wait?", Chuck cried, "I'm a little busy right now!"_

"_But, sir", the voice replied, "There's another ship coming this way… it's surfacing now!"_

_We all looked up expectedly, and gasped. It was a Government ship! And to our delight, the ship blasted bullets and rockets at Dr. Eggman's ship. Then again, the Government ship __**did**__ look familiar until the obvious hit me; the ship originally belonged to Dr. Eggman. Nice on, Mr. President!_

_The two ships battled one another for a while as Mr. Tanaka sobbed with delight as Chris had managed to survive the rough seas and climb back onto the cruise. And before I knew it, everybody (except for myself, Chuck, Mr. Tanaka, and Ella) were on the X-Tornado ready to battle. But Dr. Eggman produced a holographic image in front of us, revealing the image of a couple of G.U.N soldiers looking rather exhausted. Damn it, Dr. Eggman had captivated the poor soldiers! Then again, this sort of thing wasn't new for him._

_And then there was this… red beam blinding us from Dr. Eggman's ship. It covered the entire area around us, and it turned out to be some sort of energy ray! You see, this is what you get when you hang around with the likes of Sonic the Hedgehog; it always leads to disaster one way or another. _

_I closed my eyes tightly. This was it. I was going to die a horrible, painful death. And then… there was a giant explosion. When I gingerly opened my eyes, I saw Sonic and Knuckles gliding towards the X-Tornado, congratulating each other eagerly. I was once again fascinated by Sonic. Damn it, one minute I was avoiding him like the Plague, the next I was worshipping him like a God! Argh, why does Cupid hate me so much?_

_The Eggman ship crashed into the ocean, and Dr. Eggman managed to escape onto the nearby island. Life never slows down, I guess…_

_Later on, we were on the island and the G.U.N. soldiers began to blame Topaz for their troubles with Dr. Eggman. Poor Topaz! It's not as if she was in command or anything, I mean, it was their fault as much as hers that they were captured by Dr. Eggman. Mr. Tanaka ran after Topaz to comfort her. Unless… no… it couldn't be! Does Mr. Tanaka have a thing for Topaz? Oh, how __**cute**__! I honestly don't know why Topaz doesn't respond back in the same way as Mr. Tanaka; maybe she's simply too shy? That's where I fall dramatically - I couldn't be shy to save my life! Though my dream the other night proved otherwise…_

_Oh, Shadow._

_I can't say a lot happened from my point of view, since I stayed with Ella and Mr. Tanaka and company as the others flew the X-Tornado towards the active volcano. Though, it __**did**__ give me the opportunity to catch up with my journal._

"_How is your diary coming along?", Ella asked eagerly. I tapped the tip of the pen with my nose and smiled mysteriously._

_I wrote. Nothing exciting happened._

_I wrote some more. Ella made lunch. I watched the horizon for a while._

_And then, out of nowhere, there was a violent Earth tremor._

"_Are Sonic and the others going to be okay?", I asked anxiously. Dr. Cantbury gave me a solemn look._

"_The data suggests that the volcano is about to explode!", he informed us. __**Oh, whoop de fucking doo**__, I thought despairingly to myself, __**thing's can't get any worse**__!_

_Oh, but they did. There was an almighty explosion and the volcano erupted uncontrollably. I had never felt so fearful in all my life! Here I was, stuck in the middle of a volcano eruption, my chances of dying increasing as each minute went by. It was a wonder my quills didn't turn white with shock! It was like starring in a disaster movie, only this was reality. Thankfully, we managed to get away on the cruise before we suffered any real damage from the volcano. I felt bad for Dr. Cantbury since he wasn't able to continue his research on the Marisians, but there was really nothing we could do about it. After all, isn't that what History is all about: finding and losing significant evidence? Rouge was devastated when Dr. Cantbury took a gem she had found on the island away from her for research. Ha, serves her right, the stuck-up bitch! And yet, the sad but unexpected news was that we thought we had lost two of our enemies due to the volcanic explosion as we all thought that they didn't manage to get away in time. But, alas, they were on the cruise with us! They had managed to pull themselves together to get away from the volcano! In all honesty, I hate Decoe's and Bocoe's guts the majority of the time but if I ever lost them in any way, I would be disappointed, for they are quite fun to fight with once in a while. They're people you would love to hate, basically! And better news: They will be joining our side to fight Dr. Eggman! I had never realised that Dr. Eggman takes his robots for granted to a great extent that they actually mock and disobey him behind his back. So, in a sense, they don't like Dr. Eggman at all…?_

_After experiencing too many near-death experiences today, I realise that my life isn't actually boring whilst I'm around my friends. Sometimes I wonder whether or not I'm simply being too stubborn since I spend too much of my time worrying about others… like Sonic. After all, life is too short! Decoe and Bocoe both realised that they can assert their authority when they put their minds to it, and Knuckles probably realised that if he wants respect, he has to __**show**__ respect in return, even if it is Rouge the Bat… and maybe, __**maybe**__, that's what I should be doing towards Sonic. Maybe if I stop acting like a complete bitch and stop trying so hard to gain his attention, I would probably have better luck towards having a chance with him. But after my confusing dream about Shadow, I'm left wondering if I have any feelings left for Sonic at all… I mean, it doesn't help a lot that I'm fantasizing about a hedgehog who is dead! But still, whenever Sonic is hurt or is in danger, I'll of a sudden be by his side like a committed nurse. And I probably always will do._

_Not because I feel obliged to do so but because he's... he's my friend, in the end. _

_P__erhaps it's time for me to grow up a bit and smell the coffee: Sonic isn't interested in me. However, I can't ignore the fact that, even though I'm suppose to hate him (Thanks to Greg Behrendt), I __**do**__ care about him to a great extent. _

_If only Sonic would notice this and show me a bit more respect in return, that's all I ask of him…_

_

* * *

_

_**Later** - I found Sonic looking at you, my diary! You must have dropped onto the floor since I found him picking you up. What made it even worse was the fact that he peered at a page or two… which were details of my dream about Shadow! That's the punishment I get for placing you carelessly at the corner of my bedside table! I must admit, I ran in like a raging storm and stole you from his grasp, ready to explode with anger._

"_Just __**what **__do you think you're doing?", I demanded furiously. Sonic blushed slightly as he thought of an excuse._

"_I-I was just passing by your bedroom when I found this n-notebook on the floor", he answered, "What is it, anyway? A journal?"_

"_Yes it is, as a matter of fact!", I snapped, "And it's for my eyes only, so get out and stop bothering me!"_

"_Okay, okay", Sonic reassured me, "I'm going! No sweat!"_

_And then he left, shaking his head slightly. I glared at the back of his head for a few minutes before slowly sitting down on my bed, clutching you in my arms. Sonic knows, he __**knows**__ about my dream about Shadow. Oh God, I feel so embarrassed! And yet, even though my cheeks are red at the idea of Sonic reading my personal thoughts, I can't help but allow a smirk to appear on my face._

_I'm starting to move on from Sonic. _

_And he now knows all too well about it._

_Let's see how he likes being ignored and underappreciated!_

_Ciao for now,_

_Amy._


	4. Kiss Today Goodbye

**Hey guys! Here's the fourth entry! Sorry it's taken me a while to update - University has kept me busy :)**

**A/N - This entry takes place during episode 49 of 'Sonic X'. Dialogue from Chuck,Tails, and Chris Thorndyke belongs to 4Kids. Other dialogue belongs to me.**

**~Xoxomtmodnarxoxo**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Diary,_

_Pretending that nothing happened between me and Sonic turned out to be surprisingly easy at first, since there has only been one important thought in my mind all day - we have to go home._

_It's not as if we have a choice. It's funny how days that seem perfectly normal turn for the worst. Ella had given me a copy of 'The Diary Of Anne Frank' to read and I very nearly cried at the passage where Anne is told that she must go into hiding when they receive a letter from a Jewish Concentration Camp, ordering her sister, Margot, to report to the camp within a number of days. Oh, how I wanted to weep whilst I read her sense of desperation, but I'd never imagined to be in the same position as Anne._

_I feel confused. I want__ to go home, but I dread the idea at the same time. Especially since the news came so unexpectedly._

_Today we celebrated 'Freedom Day'. Really, I expected the day to be an excuse for big companies to sell merchandise, but everybody claims that Sonic inspired millions to celebrate a care-free lifestyle. I must admit, we celebrated in style! Mr. and Mrs Thorndyke held a barbeque in their back garden which was a nice thought but rather impractical. Mr. Thorkdyke's kebabs were completely charred and uneadible and, in my honest opinion, Mrs Thorndyke's t-shirt was a little too tight on her. Anyway, the atmosphere was quite lively and we were enjoying ourselves and our new 'care-free' lives and dissecting our burnt kebabs, when Mr. Tanaka appeared and informed Chuck, "Professor Thorndyke, the President is on the telephone for you"_

_To us, it was nothing new, since we were so used to the President calling us at the most random moments. Therefore we stayed outside, refusing any more of Mr. Thorndyke's food. Nothing seemed particularly suspicious to us until earlier this evening, when a physicist and the President's aid visited the Thorndyke residence. I couldn't hear or see anything from my point of view to a great extent, but later on when Tails was the main lounge, I could tell by his facial expression that something was horribly wrong. __Never__ have I seen Tails so shocked and scared before in my life. Not that I was spying or eavesdropping in any way, but I was just desperate to discover what was going on, so I perched on the staircase outside the main lounge, listening carefully. Tails wasn't the only one who was acting strangely; Chris also looked very distraught. I even heard shouting from the main lounge:_

"**_YOU'RE WRONG_**_!", Chris screamed, "_**_DR. EGGMAN MUST BE BEHIND THIS__! __HE'S FOOLING EVERYBODY TO GET RID OF SONIC_**_!"_

_There were more murmurs amongst them, whilst I sat with my head in my hands, my elbows digging horribly into my legs. I noticed Cream sidle towards me. I held my arm out and she sat down beside me, cuddling me close, expecting me to make things better. Only I couldn't._

_"We can't wish this promise away, Chris", Chuck replied calmly, "I know it's hard to hear, but the time has come to say goodbye. Sonic must return to his World. There is no other choice-"_

_"_**_YOU CAN'T SEND HIM AWAY_**_!", Chris roared, "_**_I WON'T LET YOU_**_!"_

_And with that, Chris left the room in an infuriated manner, leaving a stunned silence behind him. Cream was in tears, her shuddering sobs encouraging __my__ own tears to run down my face._

"_I__ never saw him _**_this_**_ upset", Tails shyly confided after a short period of time._

"_I know exactly how he feels", Chuck answered, "I'm upset about this, too. If time were to stop, I wouldn't have to grow older anymore. I'd have forever to do research and make new discoveries… __why, just think of all the marvellous things you and I could build if we could tinker in our workshop for all eternity. It sounds wonderful… but it's a trap. In a World where time has stopped __completely, the pursuit of scientific knowledge will ultimately be meaningless. We'd never be able to use our knowledge to make real progress…"_

_There was a dramatic pause. I held my breath._

"_Everyday would be the same… I think you'd agree __that a World where nothing ever changes would be a boring place to live…", Chuck paused, "… I'll miss you, my friend"_

_He obviously had meant Tails. Tails remained silent. Cream continued to sob quietly in my arms, as I hugged her and begged her calm down, for she only made me even more anxious than what she was. I couldn't believe it. If we didn't go back home immediately, time would screech to a sudden halt. I suddenly felt that we were responsible for the entire predicament! To think about the idea of living every day that would be exactly the same as one another makes me want to vomit. I don't want to live the same day over and over again; especially if it would have been a particularly crappy day. And, and… I just don't want to leave Earth. I know that I've been writing so much about how much I've been wanting to go home, but I can't bear the thought of leaving Ella behind. She's been like a mother figure to me, well, the closest to being a mother that I could ever have had. And the idea of leaving her behind makes me feel abandoned and unwanted, like an orphan._

_"__Oh, Amy", Cream sobbed, "What are we going to do? If we don't go home soon, the World will end!"_

_"__I don't know, Cream", I answered back weakly, but I attempted to cheer her up by acting more positive, "But we're going to be okay. We'll be fine, Dreamy Creamy. Don't you worry. Come on,__smile__, Cream! We're going to be okay, little old lady, we're going to be home soon!"_

"_I __can't__ be happy", Cream protested as she rubbed her eyes, "Not if I'm leaving all my new friends behind. I'm just not ready to say goodbye yet"_

"_Sometimes in life", I explained, "We have to do things we're not happy about, even if that means saying goodbye to good friends. Sometimes we sacrifice a lot of things in our life which turns out __better for everybody. I had to do it when I left my mother-"_

"_You never loved your mother", Cream interrupted, "You always hated her"_

"_True", I admitted, "But if we don't accept that we sometimes have to let go of friends in our lives, we don't grow and learn. Remember Cream, change can be dramatic, but it can also be a good __thing __for us, too… We've spent far too much time on Earth… it's time to go home"_

"_I don't think I'm ready to go home just yet", Cream mumbled as she nestled her head on my shoulder, "I don't feel anything just now"_

"_That's to be expected", I comforted her, "Come on. I'll sleep beside you tonight as a treat, how does that sound?"_

"_Fine, I guess", Cream mumbled back. I had never seen Cream so depressed in her life. And because her unresponsive attitude acted as a contrast to her normal cheerful self, I felt more scared than ever. But it __did__ help that Cream, Vanilla, Cheese and I kept each other company for the remainder of the evening. It was comforting to know that I had friends who were there for me and understood how I felt…_

_It's far too late now. Vanilla and Cream and Cheese dozed off a while ago, giving me the chance to catch up in my diary entries. The problem is, I can't sleep. At all. I've tossed and turned and plumped my pillow… but nothing. I feel as nervous as a student awaiting their exam results the night before, as anxious as a poorly person awaiting results from their doctor, as scared as an infant during a horrendous thunderstorm._

_Although I've tried to convince Cream that we're going to be okay, I can't help but worry myself. I shall have to go through tedious procedures such as moving out of my small apartment in Town Square and sort out loans and finances and pack everything . And __then __I will have to go through the ordeal of saying goodbye to my dear loved ones…_

_In addition, Chris has ran away. God only knows where he has went off to, all I pray is that he's okay. _

_No, I mustn't think about that now. I must try and sleep. But I can't ignore the fact that despite the advice that I've given Cream, __I__ don't even know how to say goodbye to everyone myself. I am as scared as what Cream is. Maybe I should start listening to my own advice as well as other peoples'. We'll be fine. I shall try and sleep now. After all, a problem shared is a problem solved…_

_

* * *

_

_**Later** - __Chris is home. Thank God. He claims that he is okay. I'm inclined to believe him, since I was too tired and confused to make any judgements when he appeared home at first._

_Remember when I said that pretending that nothing ever happened between me and Sonic turned out to be quite easy? Well, it __was__ easy at first. Note the significance on the use of the word '__was__'. I swear, I must be suffering from bad karma because my luck turned to the worst within minutes and before I knew it, my hard-to-get cover was completely blown. For Sonic always finds a way to influence me in the end._

_He's such an asshole._

_Allow me to explain._

_A few hours ago (I have only just checked my alarm clock and it's twenty-past three - Good God, I'll look like a panda in the morning!), I had decided to go into the kitchen to get a drink of water. The kitchen was dark when I padded into the room… and I had the **BIGGEST** fright of my life when I saw a dark figure standing in one corner! (No thanks to Chris who made me watch 'The Blair Witch Project' AND refused to switch it off, especially at the end where the girl goes into the basement and finds her friend standing in one corner with his backed turned to the camera in the dark!). I couldn't help but scream out loud!_

"_Sh!", the figure hissed in the dark, "It's me, Sonic!"_

"_What?", I answered and switched on the lights. True enough, it was him. Only I didn't appreciate the scare or the fact that it was the first time that we were alone together since Sonic had 'accidentally' read my diary entries about Shadow. It didn't help that I looked more vulnerable than ever with my messy quills, my oversized t-shirt (substitute for pyjamas), and small dry patches of skin on my face (oh, the joys of being a teenager). But for some odd reason, I simply didn't care. _

_"Oh", I replied impassively, "Hey"_

_"__What's up, Amy?", Sonic answered cheerfully. I grunted. It's sooo typical of Sonic to be so positive at the worst of times._

"_I guess you haven't heard the news", I answered back as I filled an empty glass with water, "We have to go home"_

"_Well, one day we'll get home, Amy. We just have to be more positive"_

_He wasn't making it any easier for the both of us. I couldn't help but slump against the kitchen counter with despair._

"_No, you dunce", I groaned, "We __have __to go home, or time will come to a screeching halt"_

"_Aren't you being a little over-dramatic?", Sonic chuckled as he stole an apple out of the fruit bowl and bit into it. I rolled my eyes._

"_I wish I was", I answered, "But we had a visit from a physicist tonight and she explained that unless we go home __now__ time will just repeat itself"_

"_Oh, my God", Sonic chuckled, "Seriously?"_

"_Do I look as if I'm fucking kidding?", I snapped, "If it was all a lie I wouldn't have wasted my breath telling you!"_

"_Okay, chillax!", Sonic chuckled again and held his hands up in mock self-defence. He then took another bite out of his apple and commented with his mouth full of fruit, "Wow, what a shock!"_

_I suddenly felt infuriated with Sonic's happy-go-lucky attitude - didn't he care that we were leaving good and caring friends behind who provided us with food and a roof over our heads? Didn't he care that I was losing Ella, the closest motherly figure in my life? And when I pondered over the thought; didn't he care about Chris and his feelings?_

_I drank a reasonable amount of water and breathed out slowly, glaring at him._

"_Really", I commented, "Is that all you can say? Is that all you can say about leaving our closest friends behind to go home? About time stopping if we __don't__ go home?"_

"'_Scuse me?", Sonic mumbled as he chewed his mouthful of apple. I folded my arms crossly._

"_Don't you feel even the teeniest bit upset that we're going home? At all?", I questioned him. Sonic paused for a moment of two and swallowed._

"_Well", he answered, "Kinda, but our home is much better 'cause, honestly, there's more running space there!", Sonic chuckled and expected me to do the same. If I was still remotely crazy about him, I would have giggled companionably. But I remained aloof._

"_What about Chris?", I began. Sonic gave me a confused look._

"_What about him?", Sonic asked back. I bid farewell to my sanity levels and let rip._

"_So you don't care about how Chris feels about us going home? Did you not even consider how helpful Chris has been for us ever since we got here?"_

"_Ah, well-"_

"_Are you going to miss him? And Ella, and Mr. Tanaka, and Chuck?", I continued. Sonic held one hand up to silence me._

"_Whoa, wait a minute, Amy", he interrupted, "Where are you getting all of these ideas from?"_

"_I'll miss everyone", I commented. It felt strange, since I began to express my feelings, I simply couldn't stop. Yet, it felt __good__, "I'll miss Chris, even though I found him annoying sometimes, but I'll miss Ella the most. I appreciate everything that Chris and his family and staff have done for us. They've been so helpful for us all, wouldn't you agree?"_

"_Well, yeah, sort of", Sonic answered, "After all, Chris saved my life when he rescued me from his swimming pool, so I appreciated him for __that__, that's why I was always there for __him__ whenever he got into trouble"_

_I froze on the spot. I frowned at him._

"_So…", I pondered, "You didn't save him all those times simply because you liked him, because you cared about him?", I paused, "You practically saw Chris as a **debt** to your moral status?"_

"_It's not like that, Amy", Sonic answered firmly, folding his arms. I was not convinced._

"_You know", I began, "People can be easily fooled by first impressions. It's obvious that Chris fell into that trap. Chris saw you as a saviour whenever he was in danger, and he treated you like his best friend and yet… you only cared about yourself? Is that it? Have you been deliberately ignorant all this time?", I breathed out. Sonic remained silent. I continued angrily, "He was always there for you, and you treated him like crap. Until now… I have never realised how _**_selfish_**_ you really are!"_

_I began to flounce out of the kitchen, but before I could go any further, Sonic grabbed my left arm, his grip quite firm. My heart skipped a beat. I had read stories about girls who have been unexpectedly attacked by their male friends in the most horrific and disgusting ways possible. I began to feel very wary about the situation._

"_Wait, Amy", Sonic began, "I know you're stressed about all of this"_

"_Well, duh!", I snapped._

"_But, listen, if you need to talk to anybody about, well, anything", he added, "I'm always available to talk"_

_I didn't respond. I didn't have to._

"_Listen", Sonic continued, "I know you've been thinking about Shadow quite a lot recently-"_

_My cheeks flamed. So Sonic __did__ read my entry after all!_

"_- and it's perfectly normal to do so, but Amy… Shadow's gone", Sonic shrugged gently, "It's time to accept that"_

"_What I think about in my free time is entirely my business!", I snapped, "How dare you read my private thoughts!"_

"_Oh, come on, Amy!", Sonic exclaimed, "__Anyone__ can easily read it. If you're so secretive, buy a fucking lock for that diary! Anyway, it's stupid to fantasize about Shadow. He's dead, Amy. It's been difficult for all of us, but it's time to move on. It's time to stop being so morbid"_

"_As if you care!", I snapped, "What gives you the right to tell me what to do? You hardly notice anything nowadays! All you care about is yourself!"_

"_That's so not true", Sonic argued, "I care about everybody else… and that includes you"_

"_And what?", I replied sharply, "What have you got against my thoughts about Shadow? Are you simply jealous, or what?"_

_There was a slight pause._

"_You got it spot on", Sonic answered._

_I snorted sarcastically at his comment and turned to leave once again. Sonic pulled me back with force and suddenly kissed me. I closed my eyes desperately, praying that I was simply day-dreaming but when I re-opened my eyes and felt the kiss deepen, I declared that it was reality. It was officially strange; I had dreamed about this moment with Sonic for years, but now that it was happening, I wasn't enjoying it. At all. It felt as though his tight grip was bruising my arm. Ah, how to explain __that__ to Cream was beyond me!_

_Eventually Sonic gently broke the kiss, leaving me completely breathless. I looked away suddenly, unable to look him in the eye._

"_So, what do you think, Amy?", Sonic asked, "Why don't we give it a try? You and me?"_

_I stared at him helplessly… and viciously slapped him in the face. I then stupidly burst into tears and ran out of the kitchen, leaving Sonic by himself._

_

* * *

_

_I feel happy. I feel very _**_unhappy_**_ about the entire situation. I had been waiting for my 'special' moment to happen for so long and now that it's happened… I just want to curl into a heap and rock backwards and forwards in a rhythmic manner. I never wanted it to happen like this. The fact that I have unusual feelings towards Shadow now makes the entire experience much more confusing for myself. I would be lying if I said I didn't __enjoy__ my kiss with Sonic, but it makes me feel worse that Sonic seemed to have taken in the idea that I'm supposedly persuading him to persuade __me__ to suddenly date him and to act as if all the many times he has betrayed me (and yes, there are plenty of them!) have never happened. But it simply doesn't work that way. I shouldn't have to ask Sonic to ask me out - he should be doing that himself if he really likes me. It actually makes me wonder of he likes me or not, especially since he's kissed me. And the fact that it has taken him so long to make a move on me has confused me to a great extent; why wait until now to make a move on me? Did Sonic __really __become jealous over my infatuation over Shadow, or am I just imagining things?_

_In addition, I **hate** the way Sonic is encouraging me to forget about Shadow; it feels as though he has complete control over my life. I even hate the fact that I can't even record my most private thoughts in you, dear diary, because I know for a fact now that Sonic would have a look at you every now and then, probably to see what I would write about him or Shadow. It's as if I'm not allowed to have a private life._

_Alas, the kiss has been added to my current list of concerns within my life. My teenage years are supposedly the best years of my life? Huh, indeed! However, Sonic is simply a __guy__, there's more to life than obsessing about boys all the time._

_And yet, I'm still confused. I don't love Sonic._

_Or do I? The kiss __was__ quite pleasurable, if I can be honest._

_Or was Sonic being polite?_

… _No - mostly selfish, really._

_Oh, God, the idea makes me want to cry._

_But that's the funny thing about it. At the moment, I don't feel like crying. I don't feel like sleeping. I don't feel like being happy __or__ unhappy just now._

_I don't feel like being _**_me_**_…_


	5. Think Of Me

**Hey guys! Here's the fifth entry! **

**A/N - This entry takes places between episodes 51 and 52 of 'Sonic X'**

**~Xoxomtmodnarxoxo**

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_Dear Diary, _

_After I no longer see you, I wonder whether or not I will ever overcome the idea of never seeing you or hearing from you ever again._

_Chris, Ella, Chuck, Mr. Tanaka, Topaz, Mr. and Mrs Thorndyke, Danny, Helen, Francis; every name a constant reminder of the loved ones I will permanently leave behind… but whom I will never forget. The kind, generous people who made us feel like home and offered us everything to adapt to life on Earth are those who we are sadly departing from, and there will never be a possible way in which we can repay them for their hospitality._

_Christopher; I remember the first time I met you. I remember how you gave us everything and how I had stupidly taken you for granted; having my clothes washed, getting things for me from the shops, giving me food and water, helping me get my own apartment and helping me find a job as a waitress. In all honesty I occasionally felt that you kept getting in the way, simply because you received more attention from Sonic than I did. Now I regret saying that, because you were always there for us when everyone else treated us like outcasts, and mostly because you really saw Sonic as a best friend. I recall how your parents kept, abandoning you due to work commitments and it isn't until now that I realise that you weren't actually selfish because you wanted all of Sonic's attention all of the time, but because you had an unusual sensitivity about being left behind and not having proper friends. I just wish that I could have realised this beforehand for I would have stopped treating you like an imbecile and more like my __**family**__. But it seems easier to say that now. Now that I'm gone._

_Mr. and Mrs Thorndyke. Well… I don't really have a lot to say about you both, for I hardly saw you in person. Nonetheless, even though you were hardly around, you __**did**__ care about Chris. The problem was, you never really showed it. You two were always away working, all too busy in your busy schedules to even realise you had a son who needed your attention. Chris was obviously a lonely child, we __**all**__ could see that, and the fact that you were too blind to notice made me want to cry. I can't argue; you both had very busy career schedules and your commitments had to come first, but you should have taken time to be with Chris. Blood is thicker than water, after all. Spoiling a child with the latest electronics and toys and designer clothes doesn't prove that you really love and care for your child. In a sense, it's like you were trying to keep Chris occupied so that he wouldn't disturb your lifestyles mostly through bribery. I actually feel sorry for Chris. I hope that when I'm gone, you will show Chris proper love and affection and therefore act like real parents. God knows I will __**never**__ try to be like either one of you if I ever have children myself, for I will shower my children with love and affection. And that's a promise. _

_Chuck, I would say we got along okay, but you were simply too preoccupied with your inventing to properly talk to me. But you were always there when I needed help. I appreciate everything you had done for us. I can tell just how devastated Tails feels just now, knowing he has left you behind. I don't know what to say to him; nowadays his workshop is very quiet and he just sits and stares into space a lot of the time… it's obvious how much you meant to Tails. He will never forget you. _

_Helen, Danny, and Francis. Throughout the time we had spent together has been very precious to me. With your help, I stopped feeling like a freak when I first arrived on Earth, and you made me feel like a proper teenager once more, and the laughs we had when we went to places together regardless whether it was the cinema, the shopping mall, the park, __**anywhere**__. If you hadn't helped me adapt to life on Earth, I would have probably lost my sanity a long time ago! You were true friends to all of us. I hope that one day when you're all married with children you'll tell them the adventures you had had with me and Cream and Tails and the others, and hopefully they would learn the true meaning of friendship and adventure and appreciate the values they have, for they will never experience the fun we have had together. They will never have the privilege to make communications and friends with others of a different species - at least not in their timeline. I will miss you all._

_Mr. Tanaka, thank you so much for your hospitality. I wish you all the best for your plans in the future and also with Topaz; treat her right, don't take her for granted._

_Topaz, we've barely spoken to each other personally, but I can tell there is something special going on between you and Mr. Tanaka. It's obvious he really likes you. Hundreds of other girls would love to be in your shoes, don't take Mr. Tanaka for granted. He really is a kind and gentle man. You really are a lucky woman._

_Ella._

_Oh, Ella._

_I will miss you the most. Do you remember the first time we had met each other? And how you cried and cried when you learned that Cream and I were trying to hide from you, simply because we thought you were going to kill us or report us to Area 51? I certainly remember. I remember how terrified I felt when you found out about all of us, about me… but, oh, you were so kind and caring and I couldn't help but fall for your motherly instinct. I recall the times when you taught me how to bake apple pies and cakes and how to make desserts. Even if I __**did**__ mess up a few times, you didn't get angry, you simply laughed instead! I recall our shopping trips and how you happily bought Cream and I new outfits. I recall the programmes we used to watch on the T.V. together and how we would have a giggle over the storylines. I recall how you were always there for me and how you treated me like I was your own daughter, how you hugged me whenever I was sad or needed advice, and now I have a few things to remember you by; this diary and the small recipe book you had given me. I shall treasure them forever. I will never get rid of them. Even if I run out of room to write in this diary, I will still keep it and read over the adventures that have occurred in my life. And when I go over to visit Misha and Hannah, they'll see how much of a lady you've turned me into and they'll probably be so shocked they would send me back to you if possible. But it isn't. And I'm finding it so hard to accept that. I hope you're looking after Amy, your small cactus, with love and care. It's a lovely thought that you saw me as a daughter in your life. Because in return, I saw you, and loved you, as a mother… __**Mom**__._

_I don't want you to do anything drastic, Ella, but all I ask you to do is remember me. Even if time and space separates us, will you still remember me? I want you to know that whenever I bake an apple pie or watch the clouds pass or even go shopping for a new pair of shoes, I will always pretend that you're beside me; giving me advice and warning me about burning myself with the oven stove or when it's safe to cross a road, and watching over me like a Guardian Angel. Because that's what you are to me, a mother and a Guardian Angel. I wish you all the best in future years, but whatever happens, you have friends from another planet who are proud of you and love you for who you are._

_Do not worry about me, my friends. I am back home, to my small house beside the sea. I am safe. I am healthy. But I am sad. I feel as if I can't talk to anybody about how I feel, but if I do, they'll all assume that I'm crazy. So much for missing Misha and Hanna to a great extent; now that I'm back, I can't even bear to talk to them! But I'll have to face them sooner or later, because they're dropping by soon to see me. Oh, God._

_Well, on a slightly brighter note, Sonic isn't back yet. Which means the awkward tension between us is postponed for a couple of days or so. I mean, I still don't know why Sonic was defensive about my feelings for Shadow. He must have been jealous if that was the case, but even if it was I certainly didn't like his attitude - did he __**have**__ to be so manipulating and controlling, or is there something wrong with me that encourages men to hurt me emotionally? Slapping Sonic in the face made me feel quite bad, but it's only a matter of time to see if my drastic behaviour might have influenced him to control his emotions, after all, I should __**never **__feel forced into a relationship if I feel very uncomfortable about it. I need to feel loved and trusted and not to be given the impression that I'm being watched over every minute of every day. Perhaps I'm expecting too much from Sonic. I suppose you can't really change a man, but still…_

_Even though I dread the idea of Sonic being around me again, I'm concerned because he hasn't returned back home yet. Has he been caught in another time warp without us knowing? Will he ever return home?_

_Well, it's only been two days since we've returned home, so I'm not really __**that**__ concerned about him. Maybe I'm just overreacting. Argh, my life is a mess just now. I suppose I shall have to do my chores now such as the shopping and the cleaning and the gardening (you would be surprised how messy your flowerbeds can get if you've been away for to long) but I'm so exhausted over everything that I just want to go to bed and sleep for an eternity._

_But most of all, I want to see Ella again. I want to see my __**Mom**__…_

_Please, God, don't let Ella or Chris or the others forget about me, about us. I couldn't bear it if they forget who we all are in years to come. I'm not even sure if they know, or understand, how much they mean to me._

_It is a well known fact that if you're leaving a place that you might consider your home, you take your most precious belongings along with you… I think I've left mine behind._

_Amy._


	6. The Problem With Friends

**Hey guys! Here's chapter 6! Sorry it isn't much, but I've been very busy recently with coursework. I promise to write MUCH more in the next chapter!**

**~Xoxomtmodnarxoxo**

_

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_Dear Diary,_

_I've lost a bit of weight. Yay for me. Misha and Hannah came over today, and I was completely shocked over how much they had changed! Misha is now at art college and Hannah has had her quills braided. They look so cool, but they definitely wouldn't suit me since my quills are far too short for the style. We had a giggle over their antics, and they teased me rotten about Sonic (Yes, I was foolish enough to tell them - but that's the sort of thing you end up gossiping about when you've not seen your girlfriends for a while), but the most painful bit about their visit was when they asked me all about Earth. In all honesty, I __**was **__expecting them to ask awkward questions about my adventures on Earth, since we're a different species from Humans after all, but the problem was whenever I told them about the cars, the people, the housing, the food, __**anything**__, my mind automatically focussed on Ella. Misha and Hannah didn't really understand why my voice quivered and why tears absent-mindedly fell down my face when I told them about the Thorndykes. As a matter of fact, they were less than sympathetic:_

"_What's the big deal?", Hannah shrugged, "They were just Humans after all, it's not as if they were your own flesh and blood"_

"_But that's the point I'm trying to make", I sobbed, "Even if they weren't my family, they treated us as if we were. Look at Ella; she was like a mother to me!"_

"_I don't trust Humans, if you ask me", Misha stated, "They all cheat and lie. Take a look at Dr. Eggman - I rest my case!"_

"_Ella was __**never **__like that!", I spat, "She was kind and caring and she loved me! And I never asked for your opinion!"_

"_I bet it was all an act", Misha answered unwisely, "I bet she didn't really care for you at all. It was probably a ploy to rob you or indoctrinate you to go to a laboratory or some sort so that they would dissect you-"_

"_If you say __**one**__ more thing about Ella", I snarled, my shoulders stiff and my hands clenched into fists, "And I will personally drag you down to your art college by your quills and shove your stupid paintbrushes down your throat until you're sick!"_

_Misha took one small step backwards, and then gave Hannah a bemused look, and pointed her index finger at the side of her head, her finger rotated in a circular manner, indicating that I was crazy._

"_You've completely lost it, Amy", Misha remarked rudely._

"_I told you all that space travel and such must have made her crazy", Hannah sighed, "Even __**you**__ can admit that you're not the same person anymore, Ames, all you do is just sit around looking depressed and scribbling away in your diary thing and just there when Misha was being honest about Human beings you jump down her throat as if she threatened to kill Sonic or something"_

"_Well", I snapped, "Excuse me for finding it difficult to be coping without my friends!"_

"_And another thing", Misha commented unwisely, "Since __**when**__ are Human Beings our __**friends**__? Hasn't history taught us that all Humans are evil and always attempt to destroy our civilisation?"_

"_That is __**so**__ not true!", I argued, "Not all of them are like that!"_

"_Honestly, Amy", Misha answered, "Grow up! Human beings are __**not**__ are friends, and you were simply too childish and gullible to fall in their trap. What of they had killed you? Or worse, raped you or something?"_

"_That was __**especially**__ not likely!", I argued back, "They never did such a thing. I'm still alive and healthy, aren't I? The only moral crime around here is that __**some **__people are jumping to idiotic conclusions!"_

"_Well, if you think that we're being so __**idiotic**__, then we'll take our business elsewhere", Misha snapped, "Come on, Hannah"_

"_Fine!", I shouted back, "See if I care!"_

_And with that, both of my former best friends left my kitchen with an eerie silence following. I was so infuriated I accidentally smashed a plate whilst stacking them away in the cupboard. How dare they say such things about my friends back on Earth! I __**know **__our World has experienced a few Humans in the past who have tried to control how we Mobians lived, for example Dr. Eggman, but from my experience on Earth, I have learned that not every Human acts ignorant or authoritative. It simply goes to show you how easily we judge other people who are different from us, how ignorant we can really be. Just like Misha and Hannah._

_It looks as if this is the end of our friendship. Well, good riddance. After what they had insinuated about Chris and Ella and others, I would rather die than be friends with racists. _

_It has been four days since we've returned home and there hasn't been any sign of Sonic yet. But I'm not concerned._

_Yes I am._

_I have nothing else to write._

_Amy._

_

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_Dear Diary,_

_I went to visit Tails today just for something to __**do**__. I tried to avoid talking about Chris or Ella or Chuck, but somehow we ended up doing just that. I felt so uncomfortable when Tails began to cry, but at least we were there to comfort each other. It's funny how one big hug and slight reassurance could make someone feel somewhat better. It's funny how you are somehow able to comfort others but not yourself..._

_I fear Tails won't be able to cope on his own. And at the same time, I don't want Tails to think that I'm interfering in his life when he needs privacy the most. Actually, it's easier that way since I don't even **know** what to say to Tails half of the time nowadays. _

_I didn't bother to contact Misha or Hannah. They didn't bother to contact me to apologize about their rude remarks yesterday._

_Sonic __**still**__ hasn't appeared yet. I'm beginning to feel worried. I'm not the only one; Tails is seriously worried, too. It feels **so **comforting that I have friends who feel the same way as me, so that I at least know that I'm not going completely crazy._

_I have nothing else to write._

_Amy._

_

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_

_Dear Diary,_

_Cream and Vanilla visited me today and brought along a chocolate cake they had baked. It was delicious. But that simply means that I'll gain the weight I've lost. Great._

_Sonic isn't back yet._

_I have nothing else to write._

_Amy._

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_Dear Diary, _

_Vanilla is concerned about me. She is proposing that I move into her house, simply because I live on my own. She suddenly announced her idea yesterday:_

_"Think of it this way", Vanilla offered, "You'll have a roof over your head and you'll be with the people who love you, Amy. And you wouldn't have to worry about scary things like bills or living costs because I'll take care of it all"_

_"Mm", I answered. I didn't sound too convincing. Vanilla tried once more._

_"It's just that you're all alone, dear", she explained, "And we... we feel that you wouldn't be able to cope on your own. You're so young and vulnerable to everything in life"_

_"Mm", I answered back. I didn't want to admit that she was telling the truth._

_"And I know that Sonic isn't back yet", Vanilla continued, "And I just feel that you're struggling on your own... I, uh, heard about the fight with your other friends, too"_

I remained silent. I prayed that I wouldn't burst into tears. Vanilla noticed this straight away.

"_Are you sure that you're okay?", she asked, "We're very worried about you. I think it would be better if you were under the same roof as Cream and I and that way I can keep an eye on you if you need help"_

"_I'm fine, Vanilla", I replied, though I obviously wasn't at the time. I had seen Misha and Hannah earlier in the market today and I actually saw them giggling and looking in my direction. Honestly - I can't believe how immature they actually are, and that it has taken me so long to realise this! Nonetheless, it hurt that my former friends had formed their own gang against me, therefore making __**me**__ the butt of all their private jokes. It makes me wonder why I was ever friends with them in the first place. It's so scary how Vanilla can read my mind just like that._

_Anyway, no offence to Vanilla, but I felt like a charity case when she implied that I had noone else to look after me or take care of me. In a sense, it felt as though Vanilla was trying to replace Ella by being there for me. I appreciate the idea, but when I do think about the idea of moving in with Cream and Vanilla, I also have to worry about things like my rent for my small house, and speaking to my landlord and my bank and my social worker, Liz, and since I've already had had enough stress over __**those **__things in my life, I don't want to go through the same thing again. And besides, I'm an adult now. I can take care of myself. However, Vanilla remains persistent and always asks me what I want. And that's another thing; although both Vanilla and Cream are caring, they can be quite smothering at the same time. It's not as if I don't __**like**__ them, of course I do, but I need my personal space, too, without somebody younger than me begging me to make them a flower necklace or to bake them small cakes. I'm a teenager, I need my freedom. I don't need anyone else. I can manage on my own._

_At least, I hope I will be able to cope._

_I eventually said to her, "I'll think about it"_

_At least Vanilla was happy with that answer. It gives me time to think until I have to face her again tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day. And the next day…_

_It's now been one week and Sonic __**still**__ hasn't returned._

_I fear he may be dead or lost in space._

_I have nothing else to write._

_Amy._


	7. Fields Of Happiness

**Hey guys! Here's the 7th entry!**

**A/N: This entry takes place during and after episode 52 of 'Sonic X'. Dialogue belongs to 4kids. Misha, Hannah, and Liz are OCs. The small dialogue at the very end of the entry (The field scene) belongs to me.**

**~Xoxomtmodnarxoxo**

_

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_Dearest Diary,_

_At one point in our lives we wait for the perfect moment to happen, and sometimes we are so caught up with our worries that we simply don't notice that the 'perfect moment' was there the entire time, leaving us feeling very foolish… but happy!_

_I had went to visit Cream and Vanilla today because I had to explain to Vanilla why her proposal wasn't suitable for me considering my circumstances. I had originally planned to get in and back out as soon as possible, but have you ever been in a situation where you can't help but feel forced to stay against your wishes, simply because the people you are visiting are too nice but clingy at the same time? It felt as though there was an invisible chain around one of my ankles which prevented me from moving from my seat. Nonetheless, I had to prove to Vanilla that I could cope on my own, otherwise she would get involved and then Liz would get involved and there would be a huge fiasco about my living standards - I don't need to be reminded that the authority is keeping an eye on me simply because of my background and my age._

_Sometimes I hate being 12 years old. Nobody takes you seriously at all._

_I long to be an adult._

_So, when I went to visit Vanilla and Cream, they had offered me milky tea and biscuits with warm smiles but you could tell that they both had a constant nagging thought in their mind which spelt out, "We __**need**__ to persuade Amy to move in here!". In all honesty, I didn't appreciate the obvious looks or Vanilla's tone of voice when she spoke to me; Vanilla has this annoying habit of talking in a very high voice to children (and that even includes me) which gives you the overall impression that she may be __**listening **__to what you're telling her, but she doesn't take you seriously at all. I wonder how Cream is able to stand it, or it may be that Cream and I are obviously in completely different age groups and she just doesn't notice it at all._

_I decided to return the compliment to Vanilla by behaving slightly over-the-top, even exaggerating whilst drinking the tea, "Ah! Just the way I like it!", I exclaimed, wondering when I had become such a good actress._

"_We're really happy that you'd stopped by to visit us Amy!", Cream exclaimed. I relaxed slightly. Perhaps getting out of this situation was going to be easier than I had assumed. I glanced at Vanilla. I had forgotten about her._

"_So", Vanilla began, "Have you thought about that offer we'd made the other day? Would you like to come live here?"_

_Ah. There it was. I hadn't even finished half of my cup of tea and Vanilla was already shooting me with words about the dreaded topic. Offer, bang. Live here, bang bang. But I __**had **__to be honest, I simply couldn't lie and pretend that it was a __**wonderful**__ idea, because to me it simply wasn't. My life was complicated enough as it was - I didn't need Vanilla to make matters worse. Why couldn't they see that I needed my own space?_

_I breathed out, closing my eyes slowly._

"_Thanks for the invitation", I began, "But I… I can't accept"_

"_WHY?", Cream suddenly cried, "We __**really **__want you to stay here with us! We really care about you!"_

_Oh, Cream, you really know how to make a girl feel bad…_

"_Please, Cream", Vanilla scolded her. I felt awful. Cream and Vanilla really __**did**__ care, and yet I was shoving their hospitality back into their faces. _

"_I __**know**__", I stressed, "I'm really glad I have a friend like you… but you don't have to worry about me. It's been lonely without Sonic around, but… I know…", when as a matter of fact I didn't, "… He'll come back"_

_I wasn't convincing Cream or Vanilla. I wasn't even convincing myself. It felt so awkward to love Sonic and then hate his guts and then be concerned about him and then hoping that he will return one day…_

_Unfortunately, whilst I was pondering over this predicament, I was interrupted by a rough, deep, masculine voice who was stating, "I'm back! And badder than ever!"_

_Typical! I couldn't even have a drink of tea with my friends without Dr. Eggman spoiling it for us! I was so mad about this that I actually went outside, searched for and found the Eggman base, and slammed my Piko Piko Hammer into the side of the ship, hoping that they would at least shut up._

"_Amy!", Decoe cried from the base, "Why did you hit us? We were not bothering you!"_

_Oh, the __**nerve**__ of that robot!_

"_Don't you have __**any **__idea what time it is?", I shouted, "Turn down the volume or I'll knock that loudspeaker out of the sky!"_

_I thought I had had the last laugh, but I was wrong. Dr. Eggman was one step ahead of me when it came to our shouting match._

"_Just because your __**boyfriend**__'s not here, don't take it out on me!", Dr. Eggman announced clear as a bell from the speakers. I shook with anger. I had no idea if he had meant Sonic or Shadow, but the image of the two hedgehogs immediately sprung into my mind, causing me to shiver slightly. Jesus, Dr. Eggman can be so scary when it comes to mind-reading. He had certainly knocked me off of my guard. I stood outside Cream's house, not knowing what to say or do. _

"_That's right!", Decoe exclaimed._

"_You should not blame Dr. Eggman!", Bocoe agreed. Huh, so much for those two robots fighting AGAINST Dr. Eggman!_

_He, too, had a nerve to talk._

"_It certainly isn't __**my**__ fault that he hasn't shown up yet!", Dr. Eggman continued._

"_I bet the reason why Sonic stayed back on that other planet was because he couldn't stand to be with you!", Bokkun chipped in, indicating that he meant me. That was where I __**really **__lost it! I could feel my anger boiling up under my skin, my eyelid twitching. How dare he. How __**DARE**__ he!_

_I heard Vanilla and Cream shut the door and the window behind me, obviously wanting to stay out of the fight._

"_Amy's a hothead but now she's hot all over!", I could hear Cream exclaim._

"_Don't worry, dear", Vanilla soothed her, "It's just Amy's hormones getting in the way"_

_Hormones my foot! _

"_You'd better cool off, cupcake", Dr. Eggman stated, "We've got your hammer up here so you can't touch us!"_

_Want to bet? I magically conjured another one of my hammers with one swift movement of my right hand._

"_Aaah!", Decoe cried, "Another one! She has more hammers than a Hardware store!"_

_Well, duh._

"_Don't strike me just because you're struck up with Sonic!", Dr. Eggman shouted to me. And that was it. That was my turning point. I roared with anger and swung my hammer with anger and infuriation, ready to strike his ship._

"_You __**creep**__!", I shouted._

"_Where's your boyfriend?", Dr. Eggman teased. Honestly, for an evil genius, he is incredibly immature!_

"_Don't tease her", Decoe chipped in, "She's mad enough already!"_

"_That's because Sonic dumped her!", Bocoe added in for good measure; for __**bad**__ measure considering my circumstances._

"_I was __**not**__ dumped!", I shouted. On the contrary, I believe that __**I **__dumped __**him**__._

"_Oh yeah?", Dr. Eggman continued, "then how come Sonic's hiding from you on another planet?"_

_The moustached bastard and his stupid robots didn't have the chance to say any more since I viciously swung my hammer into their ship. Actually, it was quite good anger management, now that I think about it. Every hammer that I slammed into the ship represented the anger I had held for different individuals: Misha, slam! Hannah, slam! Dr. Eggman, slam! Knuckles, slam! Sonic, slam! _

_I believed that I was doing quite a good job until Tails arrived in his plane. And before I knew it, Dr. Eggman's base was flying away from me to get away from Tails. This irritated me, since my 'therapy' wasn't over entirely._

"_Get back here!", I screamed, "I'm not finished with you, Eggman!"_

… _And he was gone. I slumped towards the ground, feeling breathless and defeated. Is this how other patients feel after attending therapy or anger management? Are they, too, very exhausted with challenging their aggression? That will be something I'll have to look up._

_I heard the door open behind me, and Cream shyly popped her head out of the door._

"_Why don't you come back inside, Amy?", Cream asked timidly, "Your tea's getting cold"_

_I groaned slightly. Honestly, there's no limit in Cream's politeness._

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_

_**Later -** So I stayed longer than I intended to. And I wasn't able to sleep the entire night. It was ridiculous, I was too busy worrying about Sonic, even though I was suppose to hate him. Well, I can't say that I hated him because I still cared about him and wondered constantly when he was going to return. It also made me wonder whether I was actually in love with Shadow, or that I was simply intrigued about the __**idea**__ of being with him. It seemed absolutely no sense at all to love a hedgehog who wasn't even alive, or had even shown me that he cared about me when he was. Maybe it was better off if I just remained single and alone. After all, it's better to have lost love than never to have loved at all. So, as I sat in Cream's living room with one arm around my sleeping friend, I looked out of the window. I gazed longingly at the stars above and prayed within my head: "Please let Sonic be okay. Please let my life get back on track. Please watch over me and protect me from harm, and lead me down the right road to success. Please stop tormenting me with all of this mess which I call my life…"_

_And then I saw it. Saw him._

_A noticeable yellow object flying across the dark sky which took me by surprise. It certainly wasn't a shooting star, and it made me wonder if it was who I thought it was. I told myself to remain inside, but my curiosity became the better of me as I slid off of the sofa and opened the front door for a closer look. I stood still and stared at the yellow beam soaring across the sky, becoming less visible as dawn approached._

"_No", I whispered to myself, "It couldn't be…"_

_But it certainly must have been because before I knew it, my legs became animated and I began to jog gently down the path towards the strange yellow object. As it became less visible, my pace increased as I ran mercilessly, my heart pounding, my thoughts all a blur, my fingers digging into the palms of my hands the fact that I was so anxious and excited at the same time. It was a sign. A sign that my prayers were answered._

_The sun began to rise as I raced through the lane towards my neighbourhood. I began to wonder if the object was going straight to my house. I told myself not to be so ridiculous, but I noticed that I was passing Misha's house, and then Hannah's house and then the Bryrson's land and as I paused to gather my breath, I peered into the weak sunlight and saw what used to be the yellow figure outside my own house. I bent over once more, a stitch forming in my chest. I looked up again… and saw a blue figure._

_A blue hedgehog. Sonic._

_Even though I felt quite relieved, I felt somewhat angry, since I had gotten my hopes up that Shadow would appear instead. But, no. It was Sonic. And that made the situation completely awkward for the both of us._

"_Hi-", Sonic began politely before I, for once, rudely interrupted him. I knew that I should have been much happier to see him, but I just __**had**__ to show Sonic why I was mad with him. After all, worrying about the supposed disappearance of a loved one can change your life dramatically. I should know, I have my previous diary entries as proof._

"_Well?", I demanded, "What took you so long? I was __**worried**__!"_

_He stared back at me, smiling. Sonic can be such a cocky bastard at the worst of times! I continued:_

"_I wondered if you were ever going to come back", I did my best to glare at him, "It __**scared**__ me! To think that…", I tried to hide them, but I couldn't help but allow tears to fall down my face, "… I was never going to see you again. Day after day I waited for you to come, but you never did. I-I didn't know where you were, I-I couldn't stand __**not**__ knowing… I told myself I should give up hoping… I was convinced that you'd forgotten all about me", Whoa, where did __**that**__ come from?, "I thought you were gone forever… B-but then I realised that you'd never abandon me", as hard as it is to write this, it is actually the truth, "and I decided that I would wait for you… even if it took the rest of my life to see you again…"_

_I was stuck for words. Sonic remained smiling. I closed my eyes slowly and re-opened them._

"_And now you're here", I continued and I stupidly burst into tears, "I'm so glad to finally have you back, Sonic! It's such a wonderful feeling, I don't think I've ever been as happy as I am right now!", and with that I wept and wept. Perhaps the realisation hit me: perhaps I was actually very glad to see Sonic again. Perhaps that the hatred I once had for him made me feel guilty, because __**Sonic**__ tried to begin a relationship between the two of us, but I was too selfish because he hadn't tried anything beforehand to take our friendship to the next level. Perhaps I was simply infuriated over his delayed attempt to make a move on me. Maybe it wasn't Shadow I was in love with... maybe it had really been Sonic the entire time. Oh, it was all my fault. I should have taken the opportunity right there and then when he kissed me. Perhaps that it __**was**__ my 'magical' moment and I was too blind to notice it… but it wouldn't have mean anything now. Now that I had completely fucked it up once and for all. I sobbed and I could honestly feel Greg Brehendt laughing at me back on Earth, which didn't help matters much. Sonic wouldn't **really** have care about me - __**I **__didn't even think highly of myself after I had slapped him. In fact, it would have made perfect sense of Sonic walked away right there and then as I wept and wept on the stony ground._

"_Don't you __**ever**__ leave me, again, Sonic the Hedgehog!", I demanded angrily._

_But something surprised me as I dared to open my eyes one last time. I was expecting Sonic to run off, but instead, right in front of me was the most beautiful pearly-white rose I had ever seen. I stared at it helplessly, taking in its beautiful form. I glanced at Sonic. He smiled reassuringly at me, adding in a wink for good measure._

"_Don't you worry, Amy", he declared, "I never will"_

_And at that moment, I couldn't help myself. I wept loudly and hugged him gratefully, and I clung onto him for what seemed like an eternity. What I noticed was that Sonic didn't shove me away like he used to do. Instead, he hugged me back. And he remained with me for the rest of the day._

_It wasn't until later on in the day that I began to ask him meaningful questions. Meaningful to me, that is. We were lying within a field watching the clouds pass by when I nervously piped up, "I need to know something"_

_Sonic laughed, "Well, I know a bit of Physics and a bit of Geography, but-"_

"_Not stuff like __**that**__!", I smirked and then stopped, "Listen… did you mean it when you said you'd never leave me?"_

_There was a slight pause. I continued to watch the sky._

"'_Course I did", Sonic insisted, "And I still do. What made you think otherwise?"_

"_It's just that…", I struggled to find the right words, "Well, I mean, we've been through a lot and I was just wondering of you might have been… I don't know… exaggerating a little when you said it. Because, if I may be honest, you've never been __**this**__ responsive in the past, and it just got me thinking, really…"_

"_Listen, Ames", Sonic began, "I've really screwed up in the past and I've always liked you, and if __**I **__can be honest, when you hit me I kind of realised right there and then what an asshole I've been towards you and our friends. I'm trying to change, so I thought it would be a good start if I showed you how much you meant to me... I really, **really** do care about you"_

_I stared once again at the clouds. They moved slowly and reassuringly for me._

"_So…", I began, "Do you… love me?"_

_There was another pause. I held my breath. I then felt Sonic's right hand close over my left hand and squeezed it reassuringly._

"_You know I do", was his answer. Sonic had said it gently and somewhat lovingly. I felt tears forming in my eyes. I was so happy. It was all I wanted to hear._

"_And Sonic?", I asked._

"_Yep?"_

_I breathed out, a smile appearing on my face as the sun's rays grew stronger in the afternoon sky overlooking the fields, warming the two of us._

"_Thank you", I replied. And the funny thing was, I meant it._

_Yours,_

_Amy._


	8. Thicker Than Blood

**Hey guys! Here's the 8th entry!**

**A/N - The dialogue belongs to me - for once lol! This entry takes place within the 6 month period between episodes 52 and 53 of 'Sonic X'**

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_Dear Diary,_

_I've spent the past year of my life appreciating everything that Liz, my social worker, has done for me. I honestly don't know how she does it! Liz is like a guardian angel and my idol rolled into one, I mean: she helped me when I consulted the Social Services after I left home, she read my files, Liz signed me up for counselling sessions, Liz found me a foster home to stay in for a while and __**then**__ she found me a house to live in and sorted out any finances that got in the way - not to mention that she also has 8 other clients besides myself - __**and**__ she has got such a __**fantastic**__ body; her sleek feline physique, her sexy tail and her hairstyle is to die for with it's short cut and highlights - I swear, __**every**__ man was staring at her one time when we met for coffee and to evaluate my progress in a nearby café._

_It's weird; I want to hate Liz for her body, but I just find her too loving and caring to even consider hating her. I mean, I have problems with my __**own**__ body because - and this is strictly confidential - I'm not even properly __**developed**__ yet, so my chest is a strange shape, my stomach sticks out a bit (evidence that my planned diet has failed me once more), and I'm getting awful stretch marks on my thighs. I long to be a real woman with a real woman's __**body**__. Thank God Sonic doesn't even know, I'd die if he found out! I mean, I can't exactly discuss things like this to him, for obvious reasons. However, we're still a couple, so maybe appearance doesn't mean that much to him…_

_Anyway, so things were hazy for a while but then Liz found me a house and then sorted everything out for me. Due to my progress, our visits and check-ups decreased as time went by and eventually we agreed that we didn't need to see one another again._

"_Only for emergencies, mind", Liz stated, "You know how to contact me, sweetheart. Let me know how you're doing!"_

_And so I kept her number just in case. _

_And all of a sudden, Liz phoned me the night before and asked me to meet her in her office earlier on today. This scared me slightly. The minute she had arranged the meeting I was beginning to picture overdue electricity bills, courtrooms, interviews with the Police about… well, anything, really. I was so scared that I dragged poor Sonic along with me to the Social Services, and he actually remained beside me even if he moaned a bit about being bored._

"_When are you seeing Liz, again?", Sonic asked for, possibly, the 28__th__ time, "My feet are falling asleep!"_

"_For crying out loud, Sonic!", I protested, "We've only been waiting for ten minutes!"_

"_But I'm so __**bored**__!", he moaned once more, "Can I, at the very least, run up and down the hallway?"_

"_No!", I snapped. It surprises me how much Sonic can actually annoy me the majority of the time. I was so irritated with him I very nearly sent him home when Liz opened her office door and beckoned me inside. Within an instant, my anger drained away and I felt __**afraid**__, like a 5 year old child on their first day of school. I desperately clung onto Sonic's hand as I dragged him into the office. Liz tries very hard to make her office like home; she has two couches, a small coffee table with a kettle and a saucer of biscuits near the couches, posters covering all her walls that reflect motivation, a television, and her desk which is covered in paperwork and her iPod docking station. On her notice board, she keeps profile pictures of her clients. I'm up there somewhere, when my hair was a complete and utter mess and when I didn't even know what make-up was - how embarrassing!_

_So, we went inside. I made myself at home by sitting down on one of the couches and lounged about. Liz knows me well enough so she's fine with me doing this. Sonic stood about awkwardly, not knowing what to do. He kept glancing at me._

"_Are you here with Amy?", Liz demanded. Sonic jumped slightly and nodded. Liz laughed warmly, "Then sit down, for God's sake! You're giving me the impression that I'm Satan!"_

_So he sat down abruptly. I shook my head at Sonic's behaviour, but I knew that he couldn't help it. I forced Sonic to come along, and I knew that he found people in the Social Services quite intimidating. Maybe he had heard various drastic stories about children in care; imagining evil foster mothers who hit children, the food undercooked constantly, children wearing clothes that didn't fit them at all, bigger children bullying smaller children… I was going to ask him if that was the case, but I got distracted when Liz then sat down in front of us, me in particular. She smiled calmly, but I noticed that she couldn't look me properly in the eye. I waited, my hands clenched into sweaty fists on my lap._

"_Thanks for coming at such short notice, Amy", she began, "I understand that you might have a lot of questions in your mind about why you're here today-"_

"_It's my landlord, isn't it?", I began, "I know that I've been away for a while, but I'm beginning to pay him back, so if he can just wait-"_

"_No, it's not that, Amy", Liz interrupted me, "Now what I'm about to tell you might shock you, but I think it's better if I tell you now rather than postpone it"_

"_Can you just __**tell**__ us?", Sonic piped in, "You're already scaring Amy, just tell her what's going on!"_

_My cheeks flushed slightly. God, I love Sonic for his consideration towards other peoples' feelings, especially mine. Liz glanced at Sonic and then at me._

"_Okay then", she said lightly, almost whispering. She sat up properly and looked me straight in the eye, "Amy?"_

"_Yes?", I whispered. I knew that it was something awful, like an illness, a debt, __**anything**__._

"_Amy", Liz cleared her throat and breathed in, "It's your mother… she's been in touch"_

… _And that was it. That sentence made my glittering world smash into a thousand pieces. Isn't it typical when your life turns out simply perfect and then, __**then**__ something appears that completely ruins your luck? That's what it felt like for me. I stared at her, Liz's words ringing into my ears, __**it's your mother… she's been in touch, it's your mother… she's been touch, it's your mother… she's been in touch…**_

_Sonic suddenly chuckled._

"_Wow", he commented, "I thought you were going to tell us something serious, but really it's nothing, right?"_

_Liz glanced awkwardly at him. Sonic noticed and choked a nervous laugh._

"_Right?", he asked again. Sonic then looked at me. I refused to look at him. I continued to stare at Liz._

"_Right?", Sonic repeated. I shivered in response. I didn't want to answer his question. All that filled my mind were the unwanted memories of my mother; how she shouted at me, how she stayed out all night drinking and socialising, how she hit me whenever I supposedly got in her way…_

"_Amy?", Sonic asked. I decided to answer him, for I was scaring not only Liz but Sonic, too. But I can't always consider other peoples' feelings, not when my own feelings are affected. I kept seeing Mom's angry face right in front of me, shouting swear words and showering me with imaginary spit. I slowly shook my head at Liz._

"_No", I whispered, "No, no, no… I thought we had sorted this out… I didn't want to hear from Mom again, and I still don't want to"_

"_That's very understandable, Amy", Liz soothed me, "When I was informed about this, I wanted to protest on your behalf but I simply wanted to let you know considering your previous circumstances, before I made any arrangements. After all, Amy, it's entirely your decision, and we, within the Social Services, fully respect your decision"_

"_Why?", Sonic asked, "I mean, what's going on between Amy and her Mom?"_

"_And you are…?", Liz asked Sonic, an eyelid raised, obviously hinting that Sonic was being a burden._

"_I'm Sonic", he replied, "A close friend and her boyfriend"_

"_Ah, right", Liz answered, "Well, the information is quite confidential, so-"_

"_Damn it, how can I protect Amy when nobody will tell me what's going on?", Sonic demanded. I slumped on the couch in despair. Sonic is a complete sweetheart, he really is, but sometimes his generosity can be too much to handle._

"_It's okay, Liz", I whispered, "You can tell him"_

"_Okay", Liz answered and turned back to Sonic, "Amy has been a victim of child neglect in the past in which her mother had abused her physically and psychologically-"_

"_STOP!", I screamed suddenly. The memories were too much to handle all at once. I didn't want to be reminded about Mom. I simply wanted to live in my care-free life with Sonic - was that too much to ask? I peered at both Liz and Sonic. Sonic stared at the carpet in front of him. Liz looked sympathetically at me._

"_I know it's hard for you, Amy", she soothed._

"_But why is it __**now**__ that Mom wants to get in touch with me?", I demanded, "Why now? Why has it taken her so long to make the first move?"_

"_Maybe… maybe she's been deeply affected by the past, and-"_

"_That's not good enough!", I shouted, "And __**why**__ does she want to get in contact with me? After everything I've been through?"_

"_Amy, listen", Liz replied, "I've also had a private conversation with your mother through the telephone, and before you say anything, she's told me that she's been going to counselling sessions for a couple of months now. I've also contacted her therapy group, too, just to be on the safe side, and they've sent me copies of her progress reports and they're surprisingly positive. But I've made it plainly clear that it's entirely your decision if you want to see her again"_

"_But, I-", I stopped because I ran out of things to shout about. I felt I had made my point but I couldn't stop, I had to shout to express how I felt, "I… don't want to go through the same thing again… you __**know**__ that, Liz!"_

"_I know", Liz answered, "I can only imagine what you must have been through with your Mom, but we can always look at the benefits of keeping in contact with your Mom, too"_

"_Benefits?", I spat, "You must be insane! There __**were**__ no benefits when I was with my Mom!"_

"_I'm just saying it might be important to remain in contact with her", Liz tried to soothe me, "Say there was an emergency, like if you or your Mom were put into hospital and you needed one another, wouldn't it be of significance if you both were able to contact one another in order to help each other?"_

"_Amy's been a victim of child neglect", Sonic snapped, "That's pretty extreme in my opinion. How could her mother's irresponsible behaviour be of advantage for her?"_

"_I'm talking about medical advantages", Liz argued, "Such as blood transfusions or a kidney if need be"_

"_But what if Amy doesn't want to do this?", Sonic argued, "She's already suffered enough as it is, why did you have to ruin everything by telling her this?"_

"_If Amy doesn't want to stay in contact with her mother, then that's her decision", Liz answered back, "We are not to decide what she wants"_

"_If you ask me", Sonic piped in, "I feel as if you're pushing Amy into doing what __**you**__ want her to do"_

"_Excuse me?", Liz retorted, "How dare you question my authority?"_

_I watched them argue in front of me. They just didn't __**get**__ it! Liz was kind enough to stress to me the importance of keeping in contact with family members, and Sonic was kind enough to fight for my beliefs… but both of them could never understand what I've been through. Liz's job was to help me, but she's never been through child neglect herself, so she really doesn't understand how scared I actually feel at the thought of seeing my mother. And Sonic? As far as I know he doesn't even have a mother, so he __**certainly**__ doesn't understand what it's like to have a mother who is rough, rude, and aggressive. They were both right, though, only I could decide if I wanted to see Mom or not._

"_Liz", I chipped in, "Look, I know you're doing what you think is best, and I know that it's your job, but you've got to understand that I never want to see my mother again. You'll never understand what I've been through. True, my history is on files in your cabinet but you haven't physically experienced it at __**all**__. If I say to you that I don't want to see my Mom again, I generally don't want to see my Mom again!"_

"_I completely understand that, Amy", Liz soothed, "But we must consider other benefits out of this. I mean, we can limit your contact with your Mom to once a week or through supervised phone calls, or whatever. I'm just thinking of your health and safety, Amy"_

"_But my mother is an evil person", I protested, "Well, she was to me, anyway. I just can't imagine getting in touch with somebody who I've been avoiding for more than one year - it just seems ridiculous"_

_I stared at Liz. I then stared at Sonic. They both looked at me suggestively, obviously wanting me to join both __**their**__ side of the argument. Not only that, they looked as if I was being completely crazy. I mean, calling my Mom __**evil**__ was a bit extreme, since I've read books about children who have been sexually abused by their parents or have been locked in basements or have been forced into crazy activities such as being forced into drinking things like bleach, which I've __**not**__ experienced so technically my Mom __**was**__ cruel to an extent, but certainly not __**evil**__ considering. I felt tears form in my eyes._

"_Perhaps it's just me", I whispered, "Perhaps I'm simply being ridiculous… I think our conversation is over, Liz"_

_And with that I got up and ran out of her office. It was stupid, I was only in her office for at least twenty minutes, and I was out like a flash. I wanted to run away from the memories, but wherever I went, they followed me. It's true what they say: you can never run away from bad memories, they will always haunt you. As I slowed down and began to wander aimlessly down the street, I kept recalling insults Mom threw at me all the time I was growing up..._

_"__**You always get in the way, Amy… I'll be back by midnight, sweetheart, promise… Don't be silly, Amy, if you're old enough to take out the garbage then you're old enough to be left at home on your own - surely I deserve a bit of fun, eh?… Di-did you throw out my cigarettes, you stupid bitch?… This is stupid, I should be out with my friends instead of being inside on a Friday night looking after a boring person like you… You're pathetic!… Amy? Babes, where's my vodka?… Just look at you! All smug and shit - you really think you're something, don't you? What? I make **_**YOU**_** sick? You make **_**ME**_** sick, you waste of space! I never wanted you to love me, I just wanted you to respect me, but it's obvious that you don't do that, either! I should have just had an abortion instead when I was expecting you. You were a mistake anyway, like your useless father… You stupid, ugly piece of shit! How **_**DARE**_** you blab about us at school! Now I've got some Social worker all up my ass and asking to make appointments and shit, and it's no thanks to you, dumbass! All you fucking do is make my life a living Hell! Did you hear me? I'm talking to you!… If you **_**ever**_** say another word about me at your precious school, I will cut your tongue out with a piece of scissors! D'you think I'm kidding? I'm seriously not fucking kidding, you pathetic piece of shit!… Nobody wants you, nobody needs you! Nobody will ever love or respect you! I should have 'taken care' of you years ago… if you think you're so special, why don't you just leave 'cause God knows I don't want you?…**"_

_A hand suddenly rested on my right shoulder. I gave a small scream, only to realise that it was Sonic. He smiled at me reassuringly._

"_Okay?", he asked gently. I hesitated, and then nodded. We began to stroll towards the park, and whilst doing this, Sonic told me about the values of family relationships._

"_I mean, you're lucky", he remarked, "When I was growing up, I never even had a Mom; only a brother and a sister whom I didn't even meet until I was about, I dunno, thirteen. I had to defend myself throughout my childhood. It seems that children just take their parents for granted and never __**seem**__ to understand the real meaning of family. It makes me sick when they actually want to fight their parents and never appreciate what they really have"_

_I stopped and stared at him hard. Sonic caught on and stammered, "B-but you're the exception, after what you've been through. Obviously."_

_I relaxed._

"_Maybe you're right", I confessed, "Maybe… maybe I should give my Mom another chance. After all, it has been one year", I paused as I stared at the green fields where there were other Mobians walking, talking, jogging, walking their dogs, acting out their normal lives, "But… what if it all goes wrong? What is she hasn't changed at all?"_

"_People make mistakes, Amy", Sonic answered, "If we didn't we wouldn't be normal. I mean, how __**are**__ you to know if she's changed or not? Your Mom is contacting __**you**__, not the other way around. And if those reports from her therapy group weren't enough proof that she's improving her attitude and her living standards, and her calling you to get back in touch, then I don't what other proof we might need"_

"_But what if she-", I began._

"_If she's a fraud you can tell Liz straight away and she can ban all contact between you and your Mom. Surely you can trust Liz", Sonic caught a hold of me and looked me straight in the eye, "You'll make mistakes and they'll be yours to make, but see this as an experience to get to know your mother once more… maybe things will be different this time. After all, blood is thicker than water"_

"_That's true", I whispered. Sonic produced a small card and placed it firmly in my hand. I looked at it curiously. It had a phone number printed on it._

"_Your mom's phone number", he informed me, "Just in case, Liz told me"_

_I stared at the black-inked digits on the piece of card. There was only one thing to do. It was up to me, after all._

"_Thanks", I told him and shyly kissed him on the cheek._

_**Later: **I phoned Mom, in the end. She wasn't in. I hope my message was clear enough that I wanted to see her again:_

"_Hi Mom, it's me… Amy. Liz told me that you wanted to get in contact with me. And that's… that's cool… The thing is, I was kinda thinking about us and what we've been through in the past, and I would like us to start over and to, you know, get to know one another… that is, if it's okay with you, you know… well, I got to go now… Oh, this is Amy, by the way. Amy Rose... Your daughter... Well, call me if you want to meet up… bye…"_

_P.s. I asked Sonic what he thought about children in care. He was so sweet and supportive by saying that they were no different from me or him. The problem was that he was afraid that I would get hurt again by my Mom, which explains why he was so worried in Liz's office. Dare I write, Sonic is __**perfect**__!_

_Yours,_

_Amy._


	9. Starting Over

**Hey guys! Here's the 9th entry!**

**A/N: Amy's mother is an OC. **

**A/N: To Kurdave125: Your idea will appear in the 11th entry, so hang in there!, To MoonLitSky262: Your idea will appear in the 12th entry, so hang in there! sorry about the wait; it's just the way the ideas for the chapters have turned out so... yeah LOL! Just to let you know that I HAVEN'T forgotten your suggestions! **

**A/N: Readers are also reminded that any ideas or suggestions that they are more than welcome to share ideas with me that they might have - they will be credited for their work.**

**~Xoxomtmodnarxoxo**

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_Dear Diary,_

_Today was the day that I met Mom for the first time since I called her. Even though my closest friends were there for me, the unwanted fears from my past began to crawl back into my mind. I was so afraid that something bad would happen and that Mom would suddenly become her old self, that I began to limit my contact with other people around me…_

_And all of a sudden, our first supervised visit arrived. Liz and Sonic sat in a separate room, exchanging comments and forever glancing at me. I, on the other hand, remained in Liz's office, humming (almost insanely) and picked at the stitching on my gloves. It was only a matter of time before __**she**__, my Mom, would arrive and remind me of the 'normal' childhood that I had missed out on. I wanted to vomit. I wanted to run out of the office, but damn it, I wasn't going to miss my opportunity to see Mom again and rub it in her face that I am able to do much better without her in the picture. I suddenly felt like a fool agreeing to this. There was no possible way that Mom had changed at all, as far as I was concerned. I was wasting my time. So… why wasn't I forcing myself to stand up and walk out of the door? What was stopping me?_

_The door behind me opened unexpectedly. I jumped slightly, tearing the stitching slightly on my right glove. I took a deep breath and slowly turned around. And it was her. Mom. Only she was thinner and looked more vulnerable. Her quills had grown slightly, and her clothes were ordinary jeans and a plain t-shirt. I recognised her straight away, but she didn't seem to recognise me._

"_Amy?", she whispered in the room, "Amy Rose?"_

_I nodded. I didn't know what to say to her._

"_My Amy Rose?", she persisted. I nodded once more._

"_That's me", I whispered. I glanced at Liz and Sonic in the separate room. They were goggling like crazy, as if my Mom was the new shocking plot behind a TV soap. I attempted to ignore their stares and focussed on my Mom yet again. She shook her head._

"_No, it can't be", Mom insisted, "You can't be my Amy; my Amy was a small, weird kid who had long quills combed back, and she wore a green shirt and an orange skirt with Converses… that __**is**__ you, isn't it, Amy?"_

"_Yes", I mumbled, blushing. Argh, I hate it when people remind me of the __**awful**__ outfit I used to wear as a child. It's as if they are deliberately trying to humiliate me every chance they get. My life sucks._

"_Well, I'll be", Mom sighed as she sat down on the sofa opposite me, "How time flies"_

"_Mm", I answered._

"_So…", Mom began, "Have you got a cuddle for me then?"_

_I __**certainly**__ didn't want to hug her, but I didn't want her to receive the wrong impression. So far, things looked promising but I somehow had the feeling that if I stepped out of place, I would drastically alter chances between me and Mom in the future, just like the theory of a Mobian killing a butterfly in the past and therefore altering the future to a great extent. The idea was too unbearable. I remained seated. Mom seemed to have got the message and sat back awkwardly, breathing out. She looked at me and smiled._

"_My baby", she whispered, "All grown up… Oh, Amy. I can't believe that I've missed so much!"_

"_Mom", I commented, "It's only been little over a year"_

"_I know", she answered, "But when you're a mother, every minute without your child feels like hours slowly dragging by… I still can't believe that I'm here with you, babes. We have so much catching-up to do! I've been meaning to get back in touch with you for ages, but things kept coming up…"_

"_Mm", I answered. Mom's answer was so typical of her, not that I was judging her in any way. Mom remained in a crouched position on the sofa as she stared at the carpeted floor. She sniffed._

"_I had this mad idea that you never wanted to see me again", she explained, "And… I'm not too proud of what I've done to you in the past, so I went to some counselling and they helped me quit all my bad habits-"_

"_You mean the drinking?", I couldn't help but ask._

"_All gone", Mom answered proudly, "I've been sober for ten months now"_

"_And the cigarettes…?", I hinted. Smoking was her biggest vice. If she didn't have the money or the energy to go out and buy cigarettes, Mom used to cut open discarded cigarette stubs and scrape the tobacco out of the stubs, and put the remaining tobacco in new cigarette papers; making new cigarettes. Yep, that's how desperate she __**really **__was._

"_My smoking habits are all history, Amy", she answered back almost as proudly, "Just as well, I was beginning to become a bit wheezy"_

_I remained silent. I still wasn't entirely convinced._

"_Anyway", Mom continued, "Like I said, I went to some counselling and they helped me out but I somehow kept getting new boyfriends and then kept breaking up with them because they were complete __**bastards**__-", she stopped abruptly, "Oh, God! I'm sorry, Babes. I swore right in front of you!"_

"_It doesn't matter, Mom", I reassured her, "I swear often enough"_

"_You shouldn't, it's a bad habit", Mom lectured me, "Anyway, I just wasn't emotionally ready to take you back, and… Oh, I'm so sorry, Amy. I've been too busy blabbing all about my problems when I haven't even asked how you've been… So, how have you been, then?"_

_There was a pause._

"_So-so", I replied, "Not a lot to say, really"_

"_What have you been up to, then?", Mom persisted. I rummaged through the highlights of my life but all of them seemed to be too superfluous to fit into one sentence; my adventures on Earth, fighting Dr. Eggman, obsessing over a dead hedgehog, kissing and then viciously slapping Sonic, falling out with Misha and Hannah…_

_I shrugged. Mom seemed disappointed in my reaction._

"_Really?", she asked, "Nothing at all?"_

"_Meh", I replied. Mom shook her head._

"_Honestly", she answered, "I thought you would be making the most of your teenage years, being so young. After all, they are the best years of your life", I frowned. Why do adults keep __**saying **__that?_

_There was another awkward pause. For the first time that day, I was the first to break it._

"_So…", I began, "Like, I'm just curious but… why did you decide to get in contact with me again?"_

"_Sorry?", Mom asked._

"_I mean", I began, "I thought I had made it clear that I didn't want to see you again… is there some reason why you wanted to see me after what we've been through?"_

"_Amy", Mom whispered, "I know we've had a sticky past, but I want to put it all behind us. I can only imagine how you feel about this, but think about what I've to go through myself. It's not been easy for me. It never has been… if I was still the same person I wouldn't have even tried to stay in touch with you; I would be too busy getting drunk or going off with some loser boyfriend. But I didn't, because I've had professional help. I no longer drink or smoke, and I'm even picky when it comes to men now. And… you're my only daughter; my only family that I have left. I understand if you don't want to see me, but I'd love to hear from you once in a while… I've __**changed**__, Amy… why can't you accept that?"_

_There was another awkward pause. I hadn't realised the amount of trouble Mom had been through throughout the year in order to improve herself. She was trying, she really was. But I've learned in the past that looks can be deceiving. Somehow, I wasn't convinced that she had completely changed. I didn't want to be let down again. I remember how Anne Frank wrote many passages about how she couldn't stand her own mother. Maybe, in a sense, we're like soul mates._

"_I'm not forcing you to make a choice", Mom persisted, "I can't force you to love me, but I'd love to stay in touch with you. I'm not insisting that you move in with me and start a whole new life, maybe just a Saturday together or a meal in a restaurant or whatever… would you like to do that sometime?"_

_I stared at her. Mom stared at me. I felt Sonic and Liz staring at the both of us, anticipating something bad to happen. I sighed and stood up, and attempted to stare into Mom's eyes._

"_I'll have to think about it", I admitted, "We can't just pretend that nothing ever happened between us in the past. Nobody said it's going to be easy starting over-"_

"_Exactly", Mom agreed, nodding._

"… _But it's a chance that I would like to take", I told her, "You have my number, so you can call whenever you want but when it comes to outings and visits, I'll have to take time to ponder about it"_

_Mom burst into peals of giggles._

"_**Ponder**__!", she chuckled, "What a posh word! Where did you get that from?"_

"_Ella taught me the word", I confessed and right there and then I felt a sudden pang when I thought about Ella. I attempted to fight back the tears._

"_Who's she?", Mom asked curiously, "You foster mom?"_

_If only, I thought privately._

"_Ella is… a close friend", I explained, "It's complicated"_

"_You should invite her with us sometime that is… if you want to meet up", she offered. I wanted to weep there and then, knowing that I'll never see Ella again. It simply isn't possible, considering. I shall have to explain all about Ella to Mom when we meet up with each other. __**If**__ we decide to meet up with each other. Do I want to see her again…?_

"_Anyway", I concluded, "I have to go; I'm seeing a friend"_

"_Okay, no problem, babes", Mom replied, "Give me a kiss"_

_I obediently hugged and pecked her cheek. Things looked good. Maybe I had underestimated Mom too much. Did that make me to ignorant to think only about myself and not give Mom a second chance despite her showing me evidence that she's improved to a great extent?_

_Before I knew it, I was outside Liz's office with Sonic following me, firing questions at me. It was okay. Our first meeting was over._

_

* * *

_

**Later**: "_Vanilla", I asked, "Am I bad person if I'm not giving my Mom a second chance to start over?"_

_I had visited Vanilla and Cream for company, but mostly because they had phoned me to tell me that they had baked some cakes, and in all honesty I was craving sugar. I was hugely enjoying a slice of an iced sponge with butter cream and jam in the middle, but when I asked Vanilla that question, the cake began to stir in my stomach. Vanilla stared at me and shook her head._

"_No", she insisted, "You must __**never**__ think that!"_

"_It's that I just can't help but feel like a monster because I keep thinking Mom's just pretending when she's really trying her best to start things over between the two of us. I mean, how can I trust her again?"_

_Vanilla abandoned her laundry and came up to me. She gently touched the tip of my chin with her hands so that I was forced to look at her. Vanilla's actions had reminded me of my dream about Shadow. It was as if for one split second Shadow had taken Vanilla's place and was standing right in front of me. I shivered at the thought._

"_When I was a young rabbit", Vanilla explained, "There was fighting between two countries where I was born, and parents had no other choice but to evacuate children out of the cities into safer areas like the countryside. My mom couldn't look after me and then one morning she sat me on a coach with a small bag and a note in my pocket, asking adults to feed and look after me… and I never saw her again"_

"_Maybe… she died?", I suggested. It was horrible for me to say so, but it was the only idea that popped into my head._

"_Oh, she didn't __**die**__", Vanilla explained, "She survived the fighting and lives a healthy lifestyle nowadays. But when I was only 20 years old, I learned that she was still alive and still lived in the same city. So __**I**__ contacted __**her**__ and arranged to meet her. But when we met up in a small café, my mother was acting rather strange and eventually admitted that she evacuated me because she didn't want to look after me and felt somebody else could bring me up instead. In fact, she even told me that she didn't want to see me again, because she felt that __**I **__was deliberately interfering in __**her**__ new life. I was devastated…"_

_Vanilla grew silent, and I noticed several tears sliding down her face. But she remained smiling calmly._

"_She had a new family", Vanilla explained, her voice wobbled with emotion, "She thought that I had forgotten about her and that I would mess things up with her new husband and children by suddenly appearing into her life once more"_

"_Didn't she love you?", I asked curiously. Vanilla remained silent for a few minutes._

"_No. Not really", she answered, "Not if she never wanted to see me again…"_

_I felt awful. I really hadn't realised how lucky I actually was. _

"_So…", I began, "Do you think I should change my attitude?"_

"_All I'm saying is that your Mom wants to see you again", Vanilla explained as she rubbed her eyes, "I would love to have that opportunity with my own Mom, so you don't realise how lucky you really are. Sure, your Mom might have not been quite so trustworthy in the past, but she's willing to start fresh; she __**wants**__ to be with you, she __**loves**__ you, Amy! Don't knock this opportunity back!"_

"_But __**am**__ I a bad person?", I asked again. Vanilla shook her head._

"_No", Vanilla said, "You're a good person who has been badly hurt in the past by someone close, and you therefore have a sensitive attitude towards the idea of giving your Mom another chance, and it's __**perfectly natural**__ to feel this way, considering"_

"_So… I'm a good person?", I asked anxiously._

"_Yes!", Vanilla insisted. I allowed tears to roll down my face. I suddenly hugged Vanilla and wept into her right shoulder._

"_Thank you", I whispered._

_

* * *

_

_**Later:** I contacted Mom. We're going shopping on Saturday. I'm going to give her a chance._

_I have nothing else to write for just now._

_Yours,_

_Amy._


	10. Doubts

**Hey guys! Sorry that I've not updated in a while - I've had so much coursework that I haven't been in the mood to write at all recently - *SHOCK**HORROR* D:**

**I have to admit, this chapter isn't the best chapter that I've written and it IS a bit rushed, but I promise the next chapter will be much better :D**

**~Xoxomtmodnarxoxo**

**A/N: *This event occurred during episode 42 of 'Sonic X'**

****This event occurred during episode 24 of 'Sonic X'**

_

* * *

_

_Dearest Diary,_

_I feel as if I've made the best decision in my life by accepting Mom back into my life again. The shopping trip was great and we had such a good time! It feels strange that one day I hated Mom and the next I'm actually excited to be in her company. Of course, we're taking things slowly, but I can tell something special is happening between us already. For example, we act as if we're best friends rather than mother and daughter, and as a result our bonds are stronger than ever. Sonic was right. Vanilla was right. Blood __**is**__ thicker than water, and Mom really __**is**__ willing to start fresh. I'm so grateful for such understanding friends!_

_Mom and I are going out for a meal on Tuesday. I can't wait!_

_Ciao for now,_

_Amy._

_

* * *

_

_Dearest Diary,_

_I had a bit of a scare tonight. Mom and I went to a very nice restaurant in the city, and things were going very well until we were given our menus. I couldn't help but notice that Mom looked longingly at the drinks menu at one point… and then caught my eye._

"_I was just having a look, babes", she insisted, "There's nothing wrong with that, is there?"_

"_Oh, no", I answered, "It's just that…"_

"_I know what you're thinking", Mom answered, "And you have nothing to worry about. I've completely changed darling, so please stop worrying and enjoy yourself!"_

"_Well…", I answered, "Okay, sure"_

_Her words might have convinced me to an extent, but I saw that she began to sweat uncontrollably near the end of our meals. Mom tried to hide it but I still noticed._

_Yours,_

_Amy._

_

* * *

_

_Dear Diary,_

_I was planning to go into town with Mom today but she phoned me and claimed to have a bad migraine. But everybody gets migraines once in a while, so it was nothing to worry about. Really._

_Ciao for now,_

_Amy._

_

* * *

_

_Dear Diary,_

_I phoned Mom around 9:30pm to see if she wanted to come over to watch a movie, but a complete stranger answered on the other end. A male voice._

"_Hello?", they asked, "Who's calling?"_

_I froze. Who was on the other end of the line…?_

_And then I heard Mom's voice…_

"_You fucking idiot! I told you not to answer the phone! What if it's Amy?", she hissed in the background. I was beginning to feel doubtful. Mom had reassured me that her dodgy past was history… so, who was this stranger?_

"_Oh, Shit-", the voice began and they hung up. I didn't want to phone her again. No… Mom wasn't lying to me about everything. No, it was okay to have male friends as well as female friends. But if that was the case, why was Mom so scared that it was me on the other end of the line?_

_No, she couldn't be lying to me, not after all we've been through._

_Dare I speak about it the next time I see Mom…?_

_I'm scared. I'm beginning to have doubts._

_I have nothing else to write._

_Yours,_

_Amy._

_

* * *

_

_Dear Diary,_

_Today was better because me and Mom went to a spa to get pampered. I absolutely LOVED the service and as a special treat Mom ordered a bottle of non-alcoholic champagne and a box of chocolates for us to snack on. Everything was going fine until she began to make pithy comments about Sonic. I began to tense up as she began to gossip about a family that had moved into her neighbourhood, and how the eldest son is, apparently, very handsome. This is mostly because I still had my suspicions about Mom's special 'visitor' the night before. I waited to see what Mom had to say but the information that she was giving me was so vague that I couldn't jump to conclusions straight away. That's the scary thing about Mom; she's too unpredictable._

"_Anyway, so Mr Rogan is __**very**__ nice and he has the most wonderful muscles", Mom giggled, "He's like a pin-up from a teen magazine. And then there's Mrs Rogan", Mom continued with less enthusiasm in her voice, "She's nice, too"_

"_Uh-huh", I answered, and then the obvious hit me. Mr Rogan. Mom obviously fancied the pants off of him… was the mysterious man on the other end of the phone call the previous night __**Mr Rogan**__…? _

"_And so I said, 'Mrs Rogan; my Amy is a proper little __**lady**__ - she deserves better than somebody who treats her like rubbish', and then __**she**__ said, 'If she wants, I can talk to David for her and see if he's interested'", Mom paused and bit into a chocolate, "Of course I replied, 'And what does your David have to offer Amy?', and I was obviously __**joking**__, but she took me seriously and told me, 'David is studying biology and medicine at university because he wants to be a doctor', and even if they're foxes, you can't knock back a __**doctor**__, Ames, just think of all the money you'd have! So I told Mrs Rogan that I'd-"_

"_Wait a minute, Mom", I interrupted, "What's this got to do with anything?", I honestly had no clue, especially since my mind was buzzing with conspiracies about Mom and Mr Rogan. But whatever it was, it didn't sound good._

"_Basically what I'm trying to ask you", Mom explained, "Is that maybe you and David might want to…? You know…?"_

"_But Mom", I replied, "I've already got a boyfriend - Sonic"_

"_**Really**__?", Mom asked and looked disappointed, "I'd thought you'd have better taste in men, Sweetie"_

"_What's wrong with Sonic?", I retorted._

"_He just doesn't seem…", Mom paused, "I don't know… into you?"_

"_What do you mean?", I demanded, "When he came back home he gave me this really beautiful rose and vowed that he would never leave me and he also takes me out to the movies and to restaurants, so that must be proof that he likes me!", … after all, it did… didn't it?_

"_Are you sure they are proper dates?", Mom asked, "Remember when you told me about the time Sonic asked you out on a date but then he had completely forgotten because he had made arrangements with some racer?* Remember?"_

"… _Yeah", I answered back cautiously._

"_And remember how he never noticed you at all? Remember when you told me the time when you two were in some farm and you made a comment but he simply ignored you?**"_

"_At least he notices me now!", I snapped. Mom shook her head sadly and sipped her champagne._

"_That's all an act, Amy", she commented, "Your father did the exact same thing to me; acted as if he was completely into me, and then what did he do? He took advantage of me! Used me for sex!"_

_The idea of Sonic doing the exact same thing as my Dad made me blush heavily._

"_Sonic is __**not **__like that!", I protested, "He's kind and caring and supportive!"_

"_Like I said, Babes", Mom answered, "It's all an act. I know what boys are like. And if you ask me, Sonic looks a bit dodgy, if you know what I mean…"_

_I was __**fuming**__! Of course, Sonic isn't entirely perfect but at least he proves that he cares about me. He takes me out to places, he's helped me out a lot during this period of time with my Mom, he always notices when I'm wearing something new or if I've had my hair cut… but once I'd thought about it, was Mom right? Was it all an act in order for Sonic to take advantage of me in the end? Should I learn from Mom's experience and be more careful around guys?_

"_Amy?", Mom interrupted my line of thought, "You okay, sweetie?"_

"_Yeah", I whispered, "Of course"_

_But I wasn't. It was as if I could see clearly into my relationship with Sonic for the firs time. Yes… __**yes**__, it was all starting to make sense! The reason why Sonic took me out on dates was to indoctrinate me so that he would be able to take advantage of me, the reasons why he had always noticed any changes in my appearance and complimented me was that he probably had sickening thoughts in his mind whenever he saw me, and maybe - __**maybe**__ - it __**is**__ all an act… Well! I'll show him! I most certainly will not stoop down to such a degrading level! After all, who knows what kind of thoughts appear in a fifteen-year-old boy's head… in all honesty, I fear the idea altogether. But then again, what convinced Mom that me dating this David guy would make things better for myself? Aren't guys in their mid-twenties completely sex-starved as what fifteen-year-old guys are, if not more?_

_I thought about Sonic. I thought about Mom. Whenever I looked at Mom, I saw myself in her position; being used and being lumbered with a child. I was suddenly afraid of what would happen to me in the future. Perhaps I actually am too young to be mixing with boys. After all, mothers know best… right?_

_Mom was right. Suddenly her supposed affair with Mr Rogan seemed like nothing. All I could think about was my own health and wellbeing within my relationship with Sonic._

_There's only one thing I need to do now._

_Yours,_

_Amy._


	11. It's Over

**Hey guys! The credit for the idea behind this chapter goes to Kurdave125 - thank you for your suggestion, Kurdave125! Enjoy!**

**Again, thank you for your reviews, everyone - they really mean a lot to me :) Now that the majority of my coursework is out of the way, I'm sure to find time to write more chapters lol yaay! So enjoy!**

**A/N: 'Amber' is the name of Amy's mother, and she is an OC.**

**~Xoxomtmodnarxoxo**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Diary,_

_It's over. Over, over, over. The past couple of hours have been so traumatic, in my opinion, that I feel that I can only confide in you once again._

_Oh, where do I begin?_

_There was a knock on my door around dinner time. I knew before I even opened the door that it wasn't going to be a pleasant visitor. As soon as I unlocked the door, Sonic came storming in, absolutely furious. With me. In all honesty, I couldn't blame him for being so angry ever since I phoned him last night and told him that I wanted to break up with him. After what seemed like an eternity on the phone, Sonic finally hung up, disgusted with my choice of action. At that point, I assumed that our relationship was over. The problem was that I didn't expect Sonic to appear at my door the very next day._

"_Knock, can't you?", I snapped furiously. After all, what gave Sonic the right to barge into my territory? I knew he was pissed off with me, but come on, give me a break! It was difficult enough ending things between me and Sonic, sonic I had spent so long trying to get him to notice me and to go out with me… and the minute I had Sonic by my side, I just wanted it to end. After all, I don't want to end up like Mom; to be taken advantage of by a guy and end up being a member of 'The Under-age Mother Society Of Mobius'. It seemed ridiculous to imagine it in my mind, but I didn't want to take the risk._

"_We need to talk", Sonic stated, pacing backwards and forwards in my living room._

"_About…?", I asked, though I had a fair idea what it might be about._

"_Amy, you're being ridiculous!", he insisted, "You can't just dump me because of your Mom's mistakes. Just because it happened to her it doesn't mean you'll turn out the same way!"_

"_It's just…", I hesitated, "… too risky. I'm sorry, I really am, but I've made my decision"_

"_It's too fucked up!", Sonic snapped, "One minute you're totally into me, the next you don't want anything to do with me! God, what do women __**want**__?"_

_I remained silent. Sonic paused slightly and narrowed his eyes at me._

"_It was your Mom's idea, wasn't it?", he asked so softly I barely heard him, "She's said or done something to you that's behind all of this, hasn't she?"_

"_That's a lie!", I croaked._

"_I'm right, aren't I?", Sonic demanded, "Your Mom doesn't approve of me and want us to break up, doesn't she?"_

"_No!", I insisted, "I'm really being truthful when I say that I feel too young for this sort of thing"_

"_**WHAT**__ thing?", Sonic practically screamed, "What are you talking about?"_

_I sighed. Was Sonic being deliberately ignorant?_

"_I know what you men are like", I replied, "You're all sick maniacs with your perverted thoughts and your stupid fantasies. Do you honestly think that we women don't realise this? I __**know**__ what you're after, and I'm am __**not**__ for sale!"_

_I felt triumphant. Sonic paused, and then began to laugh. Laughing! Honestly, the nerve! As he continued to chuckle I stood with my arms crossed defensively, my cheeks flaming. How __**dare**__ he mock me! In my opinion it was not a laughing matter. It was embarrassing enough as it was - did Sonic have to make it worse?_

"_So", he stammered in between his laughs, "So this is what it's about - Amy, have you lost your mind?"_

"_Excuse me?", I replied angrily._

"_What do you take me for?", he demanded, "A pervert?"_

"_Yes", I whispered. I began to feel wary. It was only me and Sonic in my house. The stories about girls who had been viciously attacked and raped ran through my mind once again. Sonic was capable of anything. Then again, I had my Piko Piko hammer and some sharp knives in the kitchen in case anything would have happened._

"_You have completely lost it, Amy", Sonic snapped, "I can't believe you would think that about me! I've never felt so insulted!"_

"_Be that as it may", I confirmed, "I've made my decision. And if you don't like it, then that's your problem"_

"_Of course I don't like it!", he shouted back, "Here you are making terrible assumptions about me that aren't even true all thanks to your precious Mom!"_

"_And what, exactly, do you mean by that?", I demanded furiously, my cheeks flaming._

"_You're calling me sick and fucked up", Sonic sneered, "Take a look at yourself; you've spent the last year declaring that you hated your mother and that you never wanted to see her again, but the minute she appeared you've been acting like she's the best mother in the World when she's treated you so badly in the past. I can't believe that you've easily forgiven her, and even worse, you're actually taking in her crap advice? After what she's done to you? You're the biggest hypocrite I have ever known!"_

"_So are you!", I shouted back, "You said that you'd stay by my side when Mom came back into my life but all you've done so far is complain about her and you're always getting in the way!"_

"_Because you're always breaking our plans apart to spend time with your Mom!", Sonic shouted back, "Every time we've made plans for the past couple of weeks, no matter what it is, you __**always**__ cancel our plans to spend time with Mommy dearest-"_

"_Because she's my __**mom**__-"_

"_And because of this you've completely ignored all your friends", he breathed out, "Everybody's beginning to notice. Amy, I know she's your Mom and all but you've got other people to think about, too, you know"_

"_Nobody understands why this is so important for me!", I snapped, "I mean, I'd decided to give my Mom another chance to set things straight because she wanted to put the past behind us, and I wanted to take this opportunity to finally get to know my Mom better because I've never had a proper chance to spend time with my Mom before… Sure, it might mean that I would be bailing out on you guys, but I've got to see my Mom. She's __**family**__"_

"_Yeah, but she's that important that you decided to break up with me?"_

"_It seems reasonable", I stated, "After all, you __**could**__ end up taking advantage of me. At least, that's what my Mom told me"_

_I was only being honest, but it infuriated Sonic nonetheless._

"_There you go again, with your 'You're going to rape me' theory!", he shouted, "Then again, Mothers are always right, aren't they? Well, if I'm such a burden, then maybe I should make myself scarce. You're completely mad, Amy Rose, just like your Mom. I'm completely sick of your attitude towards me! You can go and live in a dream world with your precious Mom, but when you crash-land back into reality, don't expect me or anyone else to be around to pick up the pieces!"_

"_Well fuck off, you jealous, heartless bastard!", I screamed back, "I'm sick of you, too!"_

_Sonic hesitated for a few seconds, and for a split second I saw a wounded expression in his eyes before he shot out of the door in a blue flash. _

_And then he was gone._

_So hurt and confused, I ran out of my house, too, but not to catch up with Sonic. No, instead my feet forced me to run down the streets until eventually I was climbing sets upon sets of stairs and suddenly outside my Mom's apartment. My hands trembled as I timidly knocked on the door. I heard a shuffle and murmuring from the other side of the door until all of a sudden there was Mom, wearing her dressing gown, her quills ruffled and a shocked expression on her face._

"_Amy!", she exclaimed, "What's up?"_

"_I broke up with Sonic", I whimpered and allowed tears to roll down my face. Mom sympathised immediately._

"_Oh, Babes", she soothed and ushered me into her apartment. I sniffed slightly and paused as my gaze immediately caught a male fox sitting on Mom's couch. He looked around forty years old, dressed in plain clothes, and had an anxious expression on his face. He looked even more anxious when I came into the apartment._

"_Amy, this is Mr. Rogan", Mom introduced him to me, "He just dropped by for a cup of coffee, didn't you, Gary?"_

_Mr. Rogan and smiled nervously. I began to feel very wary. I didn't feel safe at all. Mom noticed this and began to talk animatedly in order to break up the silence within the room._

"_Excuse Amy, Gary, she's just had a fight with her boyfriend", Mom tutted and turned back to me, "I told you that boy was up to no good, didn't I? But still, never you mind, my darling; it happens to all of us! Hey, Gary? How is Dave doing nowadays?"_

"_Eh?", Mr. Rogan asked and then caught on, "Oh, he's doing okay. Too busy being caught up in his books. I told the boy to go and meet somebody but he's had no luck so far"_

"_There you go, babes!", Mom exclaimed to me, "There's an offer you can't refuse!"_

"_I-if you don't mind", I stammered, still shaken from my argument with Sonic, "I would just like a couple of tissues to wipe my nose and face"_

"_No problem, Ames", Mom told me, "There's some kitchen roll in the kitchen there"_

_I went into the kitchen, and found the kitchen roll. Whilst I reached out to grabbed the roll, I accidentally knocked over a plastic mug off of the kitchen unit and landed near the washing machine. I sighed, wondering how my day could get any more, and bent down to pick up the mug. But whilst in the process of doing so, I noticed something wedged behind the washing machine near me. I hesitated, glanced behind me to see if Mom or Mr. Rogan were nearby, and reached out and pulled the object from its hiding place. My fingers trembled, my heart raced as I stared down at the glass bottle that contained whisky. A half-empty bottle of whisky…_

_No, it couldn't be…_

_It __**was**__. Here was proof that my Mom was, was… lying to me?_

_I didn't know whether I wanted to vomit or faint, or both. But… Mom had told me, told Liz and the Social services - __**convinced**__ them - that she had given up alcohol… then why the __**hell **__was there a bottle of Whisky in her kitchen? I immediately checked the 'Before-Date' section on the bottle. The Whisky was in-date. I gingerly opened the bottle. The bottle opened easily without putting up a fight. __**No… no… it couldn't be!**_

"_Amy?", Mom called and I heard her approaching the kitchen, "Come __**on**__, what's keeping you? Mr. Rogan is going to tell you more about-", she stopped talking when she came to the threshold of the kitchen, and grew pale at the sight of me knelt down on the tile floor with a bottle of whisky in my hands. I peered at her angrily. She didn't say a word. I said plenty._

"_What the fuck is this?", I demanded. Mom stared at me, unable to answer, "Answer me!", I screamed._

"_It's a bottle of whisky", she whispered. _

"_Yeah, I can __**see**__ that!", I shouted, "The main question is why is it in your kitchen?"_

"_Oh, come __**on**__, Amy", Mom pleaded, "Don't be like this!"_

"_No!", I shouted, "I __**will be**__ like this! I'll shout and scream until the cows come home! Now tell me; why. Is. There. A. Bottle. Of. Whisky. In. Your. Kitchen?"_

"_Amy, I've tried my best to recover from alcohol but-"_

"_But nothing! You lied to me - again! You've been lying to me all this time! And don't think I don't know what's going on between you and Mr. Rogan - it's pretty obvious that you've been having an affair!"_

_Mom looked startled, and then her mouth turned into a thin line, indicating she was angry with my reaction._

"_You've done nothing but lie to me all this time!", I screamed, "And, oh, just __**wait**__ until Liz hears about this! Then you'll be for it, you lying, scheming bitch!"_

"_Oh, for God's sake, Amy!", Mom snapped angrily, "Grow up!"_

"_Why the fuck would I want to grow up?", I roared, "All grown ups ever do is lie, pretend, and cheat constantly - what's so great about being an adult?"_

_Mom suddenly lashed out to hit me, but I caught her hand just in time before it made contact with my face. In response, I slapped her viciously on her right cheek. Mom reeled back, clutching her face, and slowly peered back at me through the pale yellow lighting in the room._

"_I've tried my best to be a good mother", she croaked, "You've never been an easy person to get along with. But even recovering alcoholics can slip up, too. Do you think it's been easy for me, to be judged by the likes of yourself and those interfering social workers? If you think I'm too messed up, then take a look at yourself. You're too arrogant and opinionated. You always want things to work out your way, but they never will at times. Yes, I was right the entire time... trying to get back in touch with you was a big mistake. You've not changed at all, have you? You're just an annoying, pathetic, interfering little runt-"_

_I didn't want to hear anymore. I suddenly ran out of the kitchen, barged past Mr. Rogan, out of Mom's apartment and into the cold streets outside, into the bleak darkness of night. I couldn't bear to hear any more of Mom's comments and I tried to run away; running onto the road without looking and dodging traffic here and there. I heard Mom behind me, shouting at me to be careful._

"_Fuck off!", I screamed at her through the traffic and dodged my way further into the traffic. _

_Then I heard a screech behind me. Tyres screeching. And then a sickening thud. And then a swearing driver noisily clambering out of his car. I dared peer behind me. There was the swearing driver, shouting at someone nearby to call an ambulance. His windscreen was severely cracked into hundreds of pieces. Cars behind his screeched to a halt and several drivers climbed out of their cars to peer at the limp body on the ground in front of them. The limp body lay in a weird manner with their head at an odd angle, blood trickling out of their right ear._

_I wanted to scream out loud. The limp body was my Mom._

_

* * *

_

_**Later:**It seems unreal. What happened was that my Mom ran right in front of a car whilst trying to catch up with me. The car collided into her, causing Mom to smack against the front of the car and into the windshield and fall backwards, smacking her head against the hard kerb of the pavement. Mom has suffered from severe blood loss. And she's not getting better. _

_Which is why I'm at her side in her private ward at the moment with you, dear diary, recording any significant change in her progress, praying that she'll be okay. But Mom's not responding to my voice or to the touch of my hand that's coiled up in her hand…_

_Oh, who was I kidding? Indeed, Mom had lied to me… but even I know that those who are recovering from an addiction needed time to improve their standards. I couldn't expect Mom to change overnight. Mom was right - she needed time to fully recover. Only I __**was**__ too interfering. I __**was**__ too pathetic. I __**was**__ too annoying. It feels as if now that I somewhat understand what pressure Mom had been through to improve… to be with me. And I fucked it up. Or did she? Mom did lie to me, after all._

_Oh, Mom… what have I done?_

_Oh, Mom. It's all my fault. I was too childish to make up such suspicions, too na__ïve to believe that you had completely changed, too interfering in your lifestyle. You __**were **__recovering the entire time, slowly recovering… and I simply jumped to the wrong conclusions. _

_It's all my fault._

_Or is it?_

_I don't know. I seriously don't. That is why I'm confiding in you, my dear sweet diary, for you do not judge me at all. I feel so lost._

_Mom? Please, wake up for me._

_Please, wake up…_

_

* * *

_

_**Later:**Amber Marie Rose passed away at approximately 01:38 am. I've not only lost my boyfriend but my mother, too, due to my selfish and ignorant attitude._

_I have nothing else to write._


	12. Leap Of Faith

**Hey guys! Here's chapter 12! Credit for the idea behind this chapter goes to MoonLitSky262 - thank you, MoonLitSky262!**

**A/N: 'He's Just Not That Into You' belongs to Greg Behrendt.**

**~Xoxomtmodnarxoxo**

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_Dear Diary,_

"_There!", Vanilla exclaimed, "I told you that this would take your mind off of things"_

_I am back after a whole month since Mom's death. I'm sorry I haven't written since that awful night, but every time I sit down with my badly-chewed pen and opened you to the last recorded date, I can't help but read what I had written, and then I end up going through the entire ordeal of re-living the traumatic experience…_

_No, I mustn't think about what had happened. I mustn't think about Mom. I had to enjoy my day out with Vanilla and Cream and Cheese. As a special treat, they proposed to take me out to do some clothes shopping, get my quills cut and styled, and then have lunch at a nice café. I have to admit it had worked at first, but when we were in one of the clothes shops, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in one of the large mirrors, and I was completely horrified to see a pale, withdrawn hedgehog wearing a scruffy tracksuit and needing their quills cut standing in my place. It seemed so unreal to discover what I had become since…_

_Anyway, things were going well until we were in the middle of the shopping mall. Vanilla said something to me but I wasn't really listening to her… instead, I was staring at the water fountain that is situated in the middle of the mall. This was the scary part; for one split second I thought I saw Mom standing within the crowds, watching me, her eyes huge and motionless. I froze on the spot to look closer in her direction but the minute I closed my eyes and re-opened them, she was gone…_

"_Amy?", Vanilla asked softly. I focussed my attention on her. I didn't realise I was crying until I felt a warm tear rolling down my left cheek. Vanilla tutted slightly and put down her shopping bags and suddenly hugged me._

"_Poor little darling", she cooed, "Are you alright?"_

"_I'm fine", I mumbled, "I just thought I saw… I mean-"_

"_Oh Amy", Cream soothed, "Is it your Mom?"_

"_Cream, please", Vanilla pointed out as she patted my shoulder comfortingly. I nodded and wiped my eyes._

"_You got it spot on, Cream", I answered, my voice wobbling, "I thought I saw her over there", I pointed in the direction, "But I think my mind's playing tricks on me", and with that I began to sob softly._

"_Amy?", Vanilla asked softly, "Would you like to go home now?"_

_I didn't want to ruin their day, but I didn't want to stay any longer either._

"_I'm sorry, guys", I whimpered and ran off towards the main entrance of the mall. As I ran, jumped, skipped, and dodged pedestrians, I kept seeing Mom popping out of random places and… and I kept hearing hoarse voices repeating the word '__**MURDERER**__' over and over around me. No, I'm not a murderer. I'm __**not**__._

_But the minute I was out of the shopping mall, I paused. The voices had stopped. Mom was suddenly nowhere to be seen. I was safe. I trudged down the streets towards home, my gaze following other Mobians who were too busy in their everyday lives to notice me. I wondered how could it be possible that Mobians can carry on their lives as if nothing ever happened. It's not as if __**nobody **__cared that my Mom died; Sonic actually attended Mom's funeral alongside Liz, and Misha and Hannah sent me flowers despite the hatred between us... But it still amazed me how quickly Mobians can recover after a tragic event. It felt as though I came to understand what Shadow had meant in my dream; life __**does **__continue, and even when we lose loved ones life must continue or it wouldn't be worth living at all…_

"_What's the matter with __**you**__?", a voice suddenly asked. I jumped and spun around to confront this rude person, only to realise the rude person was an ebony hedgehog with red stripes in his quills. _

_My fragile heart skipped a beat. It was Shadow._

_It certainly wasn't a dream. It was __**reality**__. But how did he get back home…?_

"_Shadow, I…", I whispered but then I lost my choice of words. Instead my mouth pursed into a strange looking 'o', like a goldfish. Oh, __**great**__. Why do I always seem to attract boys when I look my absolute worst? As he approached me from behind, I ran my fingers desperately through my quills and plucked at my tracksuit top._

"_I told myself that you were a complete stranger at first, but then I recognised your jade eyes and I thought I'd come over and say hey", Shadow paused beside me and narrowed his provocative eyes at me, "You've been crying… are you okay?"_

"_Oh, yeah, totally", I stammered. Shadow raised an eyebrow in mockery. He didn't believe me at all. So I bid farewell to my sanity and shook my head, "No, I'm not. I'm all wrong… satisfied?"_

"_Just a simple question", he pointed out as we slowly walked down the street._

"_I know, but you have __**no **__idea what I've been through", I snapped._

"_Let me guess", Shadow suggested, "Somebody die?"_

_I stopped and stared at him with disbelief. It was frightening how he easily guessed what I was thinking. _

"_But, how did you…?", I whispered. Shadow smirked in his sexy manner before he spoke._

"_Went through the same thing", Shadow muttered darkly, "Maria… she… look, I don't want to go into details, but I know what it's like to lose somebody, so don't you __**dare**__ say to me that I don't know what it's like to lose somebody because I know all too well, okay?"_

_The Shadow that stood beside me was completely and utterly different from the Shadow that successfully seduced in my dream. I knew it would be such an embarrassing mistake to point this out to him. The idea! I wasn't too sure if I was really comfortable in his presence. I began to walk away from him slowly, indicating that I didn't know how to respond to his statement._

"_Hey", Shadow called, and was suddenly by my side, "Wait up!"_

"_I don't want to be a burden", I pointed out, "If I'm obviously upsetting you"_

"_What?", Shadow frowned and then caught on, "No, no, I've just never got over it, to be honest, it's not your fault at all. Really"_

"_You're not just saying that?", I asked timidly. Shadow caught hold of my hand and held onto it firmly. And then he suddenly let go._

"_Sorry", he mumbled, "I don't want to make things complicated between you and your boyfriend"_

"_I don't have a boyfriend", I replied softly. If it wasn't for Shadow, I would probably have forgotten all about Sonic. Thanks to him, it's yet another worry to add to my thoughts._

"_Really?", Shadow asked, surprised, "I thought somebody as pretty as you could have anyone"_

_I paused. Did Shadow just say that I'm pretty? Could it be - was my confusing yet wonderful dream about to become reality…?_

"_Listen", he piped up and produced a small card, "Here's my number if you ever want to meet up and, like, discuss things, you know"_

"_Yeah, sure", I squeaked, "That's… that's…"_

"_Too lost for words, are you?", Shadow chuckled, "I must have some effect on you if that's the case"_

"_Mm", I answered because I didn't want to admit the truth. The small card consisting of his phone number felt as though it was burning in my hand. I suddenly felt my cheeks flaming. Shadow paused and looked at me properly._

"_You know", he commented, "You look quite cute when you blush"_

_I blushed even more and half-smirked at him. Shadow smirked back and nodded slightly. He turned to leave._

"_See you", he announced and he was gone in a flash. I stood still in the middle of the street, going over what had just happened. Alas, there were no awkward kisses like in my dream and the closest I actually came in contact with Shadow was when he held my hand, but it was probably for the better. It's nice and reassuring to know there is somebody out there I can talk to who has dealt with loss and therefore knows exactly how I'm feeling. But I don't to give Shadow the impression that I want to waste his time by phoning him all of the time. And there are so many questions I still want to ask him, like how he returned after the Space Colony Ark…_

_Suddenly, despite the unlimited amount of questions I had for Shadow, I simply couldn't be bothered. All that mattered to me was that he spoke to me. He gave me his number. And those compliments he gave me; was he practically flirting with me? I wish I had Ella's self-help book '__**He's Just Not That Into You**__' with me just now so that I could analyse the signs that Shadow gave me at that moment of time._

_I suddenly felt awful, being obsessed over a hedgehog when my Mom had only just __**died**__._

_Anyway, as I stood in the middle of the street, pondering over some thoughts, I heard a somewhat friendly voice calling out behind me, "Well hello there, Mary Sunshine"_

_I turned around to find a silver hedgehog smiling reassuringly at me holding hundreds of leaflets. I ducked my head slightly and simply half-smiled at him._

"_How are you today?", he asked politely. I opened and closed my mouth, and eventually shrugged. The hedgehog laughed._

"_That bad, eh?", he asked with interest and attempted to hand out a single leaflet to a pedestrian nearby. The pedestrian objected fiercely and walked away hurriedly. I gazed at the pedestrian and then at the silver hedgehog._

"_Yeah, to be honest", I replied, "I feel as if life couldn't get any worse"_

"_Tell me about it", the hedgehog replied and focussed on another pedestrian and brightly announced, "Would you like a leaflet, sir?"_

"_No, thank you", the pedestrian answered and marched away. The hedgehog sighed and looked at me despairingly._

"_It's been like this all day", he replied, "We try so hard to spread our message across but nobody seems __**interested**__. Oh, man, I'm so sorry - I've been talking away without even introducing myself!", he chuckled, "I'm Silver, and what's your name?"_

"_Amy", I replied, "Amy Rose"_

"_Nice to meet you, Amy Rose", Silver answered, "Pretty name, __**much**__ better than 'Silver'. Ugh. So, Amy Rose, I couldn't help but overhear that you've had a loss recently"_

_My cheeks flamed once more. How dare this stranger listen in to my private conversations!_

"_And your point is?", I demanded rudely. Silver didn't take offence._

"_Well, Amy Rose, I'm from this support group in which we help others deal with family loss and we also believe that we are able to communicate with the afterlife, too", he announced proudly. I stared at him, bewildered._

"_But… how?", I asked._

"_My colleague can give you a basic outline of our group", he informed me and called over to what looked like a purple cat, "Sister Blaze! We need your knowledge over here!"_

_The cat came over and smiled at me reassuringly._

"_Yes, Brother Silver?", she asked patiently. I felt very confused. Why were they referring to one another as 'brother' and 'sister' when clearly they were different animals?_

"_This is Amy Rose who has taken an interest in our support group", Silver told her. I attempted to jump into the conversation._

"_I'm not __**really**__ that interested", I insisted, "I'm just curious to know what your group is about?"_

"_Certainly", this cat Blaze answered, "Our group is a support group for Mobians who have lost loved ones and are having difficulty coming to terms with circumstances. Our support group believe that only a few selected people have the power to contact their loved ones from the afterlife. We consider them true members in which they are able to unite us with deceased loved ones and prepare us for the afterlife"_

"_That's preposterous", I commented, but at the same time I was intrigued. How were these 'members' able to communicate with their dead relatives if that was the case? Was it possible for such a thing to happen, in this day and age? And if that was the case - would I be able to get in contact with Mom once more, and give her one last cuddle and utter a proper goodbye…?_

"_Would you like to attend our small get-together?", Blaze asked, interrupting my line of thought, "We are holding our meeting next week at the community hall, why not come down and visit us?"_

"_And, uh", I answered nervously, "What makes you think that I'll want to come along?"_

"_Because we __**know**__ that you're hurting without your mother", Silver informed me softly, "And in addition, it wasn't your fault that she died. It was circumstances"_

_I gasped out loud, and slapped my hand over my gaping mouth. How did they __**know**__?_

"_But, how did you…?", I whispered. Silver reached out and patted my shoulder awkwardly._

"_Because I'm one of the true members of our group", he replied, "As well as having telekinetic powers, I can also determine what people are thinking"_

"_I… you…", I spluttered. I sounded foolish but it didn't make any __**sense**__, in my opinion. How was I to know if they knew what I was thinking? Were they lying… or were they telling the truth? But then again, only __**I**__ knew that deep down I blamed myself for Mom's death. I've never even met Silver or Blaze in my life and yet they could easily read me like a book…_

_I didn't like the idea of confiding in Silver and Blaze. But then again, I needed the emotional support. Attending a support group would be much better than pretending that nothing ever happened with Mom. Because only there would I receive the support I needed and through this I would socialise with other people who have had been through the same experience as me…_

"_You don't have to attend if you don't want to", Blaze suggested, "But I think it would be beneficial for you"_

"_Do you know what?", I replied, "I think so, too"_

"_Fantastic!", Silver grinned and gave me a leaflet, "Details are on the back of the leaflet and there's also additional notes, too"_

"_Thanks", I replied and slowly walked away with the leaflet. Did I do the right thing? What was I getting myself into? _

_Oh, what am I worrying about? Silver and Blaze seem caring and understanding. But that's just the thing; they're just __**too**__ caring, __**too**__ understanding. Something just doesn't feel right._

_Well, there was only one way to find out what's going on. I shall read their leaflet now and see what this is all about._

_

* * *

_

**_Later: _**

_Dearest diary. I have suddenly realised what is going on. As I read the leaflet, I had come across some information about a Mobian who had supposedly spoken to God and had found a way to contact his deceased friends and families. This Mobian is apparently their 'leader'. Not only that, the leaflet provides information of the group's supposed 'way of living' and what their beliefs entail. Religion is heavily stressed throughout the leaflet, especially the section that stresses that Armageddon is nigh and how everybody on our planet has sinned and will be sent to Hell except for the 'true members of the group'. There's even a section that significantly outlines the segregation of males and females in regards to their beliefs, for God's sake: the males must be healthy, strong, dedicated to their beliefs and provide for their families by working. The females, dare I even write, must also be strong, healthy, and produce children, and that's __**it**__. They have no freedom, no right choose at all. The pictures of the young Mobians, indeed, show them smiling happily and looking very fit and energetic, but if you look closely enough you can see that their eyes are completely… __**dead**__.__** Lifeless**__. And, they have to wear specialised uniforms. That's right, uniforms.__I suddenly remember reading somewhere in a history book that a similar event occurred in another country, and how the young people were indoctrinated to believe that they had to contribute to their chosen roles effectively or they suffered dire consequences, and they couldn't even recall being indoctrinated to contribute to their leader… _

_Dearest diary, I'm scared. It's all too clear. The leaflet is too obvious, in my opinion. I'm not being influenced by Silver and Blaze to join a normal support group._

_I'm being influenced to join a __**cult**__._

_Yours,_

_Amy._


	13. Participation

**Hey guys! Here's the latest chapter as a special Christmas present to you all! I would like to wish all of my readers and viewers a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Sorry I haven't updated in a while: I've had more coursework and a rotten cold to cope with but I'm feeling much better now!**

**Happy holidays!**

**~Xoxomtmodnarxoxo**

**A/N: Credit for this chapter goes to: Sensitive Girl and RaeRaethehedgehog - Thank you for your suggestions!**

***This is actually possible and is sometimes performed during ghost hunts. **

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_Dear Diary,_

_To comfort me Shadow suggested taking me out to see a film at the cinema. I thought he would have taken me to see something that __**guys**__ would mostly see, such as a boring action movie (__**Sonic**__ would definitely do something like that!) but instead he suggested seeing a drama about a man who had to endure many difficulties in his life. Indeed, the film __**does**__ sound boring on paper, but the visuals and the acting were great. In all honesty it was quite refreshing to get out of the house for a while. And that's the extraordinary thing about our night out; Shadow is great company once you get to know him. Yes, he may be distant and unresponsive the majority of the time but he has this unique sense of humour and he's quite comforting. With Shadow I feel… normal._

_But there was a thought that was bugging me through the entire film, and it was only after the film when we were walking out of the cinema that I decided to ask Shadow my question. I didn't know how to ask outright because it seemed like such an intimate question. But I had to know. I needed his advice._

"_Hey, Shadow?", I asked nervously as we dodged the crowds who were queuing to get into a showing._

"_Mm?", he asked, his attention focussed on me._

"_You know… Maria?", I continued, my voice turning into a squeak._

"_Yes", Shadow replied, his eyes glaring at the people in front of him. It was obviously a bad mistake asking him such a question. I felt awful, but I honestly needed ask him._

"_Well, I was just wondering", I began, "Did you ever… I mean, at any time after, you know… talk-"_

"_Talk to Maria?", Shadow interrupted, "All the time. I convinced myself that if I destroyed the Earth with the Space Colony Ark, I would bring Maria back because she kept appearing in my mind and told me to do what I thought was right and that we would be together again if I did so…", he grew silent, tears glistening in his eyes. I didn't know whether to apologise or to walk away with embarrassment but to my surprise Shadow continued, "… It never happened. She was only in my mind and she never appeared in person, even when I sacrificed myself. I felt… betrayed"_

"_Uh-huh", I answered, not knowing what to say._

"_If I'm plainly honest I still talk to her", Shadow confided, "It comforts me that she's still around to advise me in whatever I do. Amy, do you… talk to your Mom?"_

_There was a pause between us. He comforted me by taking hold of my left hand and caressed it softly. _

"_Yes", I whispered. Shadow nodded significantly._

"_It's very common to speak to a close one after they've passed away", he informed me._

"_I just feel as if I'm going crazy because whenever I'm alone, I keep seeing Mom and she keeps talking to me and I end up getting confused with what's real and what's not", I mumbled foolishly._

"_It's okay to feel a little lost sometimes", Shadow reassured me, "Just because you feel as if you're the only one who can see and hear your Mom, doesn't mean that you've gone crazy. There's this woman who's quite famous and she is able to contact the spirits and speak to them all of the time. Nobody thinks that she's mad; in fact, she's quite famous for her profession and makes a lot of money from it. You see… everybody needs a bit of faith, and if that means that hearing or seeing your Mom makes you feel more comfortable and helps you through difficult days then so be it. I'm not to judge what you believe"_

"_Oh, __**thank you**__!", I exclaimed and happily cuddled into him, "You've made me feel so __**normal**__! This is actually hilarious, I was actually considering going to that group thing tonight for support, but with you beside me", I looked at him properly, "I already feel reassured that I'm going to be okay!"_

"_Glad to hear it", Shadow chuckled, "Anytime you need advice at all, come and see-"_

"_Amy?", A voice behind me called out, "Amy Rose?"_

_I spun around, fearing for one split second that it would be Sonic, only to feel immensely relieved to see a violet cat hurrying towards me, a big smile on her face. And then the obvious dawned on me. No, I wasn't meant to feel relieved - I deliberately avoided going to the support group that evening as not to be converted into any sort of religion. And now that one of the members was right in front of me, I knew that trying to lie my way out of actually attending a session at that moment of time would be completely impossible. Blaze breathed out, pleased as punch that she had caught up with me out of the blue._

"_I told myself that I recognised you and I just thought I'd come over and say hello!", Blaze announced brightly and then nodded nervously at Shadow. She then turned to me, "We didn't see you at our small session tonight, Amy. Didn't you want to join us?"_

"_Well, you see… um, I…", I stammered, my cheeks flushing furiously. It was so obvious that I was a terrible liar. Thank God for Shadow, though._

"_She's with me", he informed Blaze fiercely._

"_Oh, I'm __**so**__ sorry!", Blaze exclaimed, "I forgot to introduce myself! I'm Blaze, and I'm a member if the-"_

"_I know perfectly well what group you're from", Shadow snapped, "And I would appreciate it to a great extent if you leave us be"_

"_Well…", Blaze hesitated, "If you insist… but I'm sure Amy would love to join us for a small get-together in the community centre?"_

"_Wrong!", Shadow argued. I stared at him, intrigued. He knew something that I didn't. But what was it…?_

"_Amy?", Blaze persisted, "It doesn't matter that you've already missed the session tonight but you're more than welcome to join us for a small cup of tea and to have a friendly talk with others who have been through the same as you? That is, if you really want to join us?"_

"_Just say no, Amy!", Shadow hissed furiously. That's the thing, though. I find it very difficult to say no to others, especially when I'm forced to make a difficult choice._

_Which was why I ended up going to the 'get-together', after all. With Shadow. And he obviously wasn't too happy about being there. He became very unresponsive, as if he couldn't stand to be near me at all. It hurt me quite a bit, but the warming welcome I received from the support group made me instantly forget about Shadow. What had surprised me the most was that there was no pressure to convert to any sort of religion within the group; we were just a group of Mobians who all had to cope with bereavement. We all sat down comfortably in a causal circle with our mugs of tea or coffee and confided within one another about what had happened to us all. Some of the stories were quite awful, in my opinion; one poor Mobian was distraught after his wife had suddenly died on top of him whilst making love to her. We all gasped at this and expressed our sympathies. When it was my turn to tell my story, I was nervous because I felt that my experience was not as traumatic as what the other Mobians had experienced themselves in regards to loss. But once I began to tell them my tale, they were all listening with respect and when I had finished I burst into tears, two Mobians offered me tissues and reassured me that what I was going through was perfectly natural. It didn't matter that I cried because we __**all **__cried at some point in the evening. Shadow didn't come to my rescue. He remained aloof._

_Silver was nearby the majority of the time watching all of us with interest and he eventually strolled over with a smile on his face._

"_Coping with loss can be very difficult to deal with and crying over our loved ones is actually a sign that we are able to regain ourselves and accept that our loved ones are gone, agreed?", he asked. Several of us nodded and commented. Silver gave a triumphant nod and folded his arms, "Now, I know it seems crazy, but our group believe that we are able to see and contact our deceased friends and relatives through a simple exercise. I have a strong feeling that some of you may have not had the opportunity to say goodbye to your loved ones properly", Silver paused and glanced significantly at me. I felt my face turning scarlet. I could feel everybody's gaze on me. I stared back, fighting back the unwanted tears. It was a wonder that nobody patted me on my head with sympathy._

"_I'd like to give it a try, Silver", I whispered._

_And so, the exercise was that we had to split into pairs and sit on the floor facing one another. According to Silver, if we concentrate hard enough we are able to see the faces of our loved ones appear in place of our partner's face directly in front of us. If we are able to see our loved ones, we are then considered natural communicators of the spiritual world - thus true members of the group. I carefully sat on the floor and stared uncomfortably into Shadow's grim glare. I could tell that Shadow didn't want to be there, but I couldn't very well tell Blaze and Silver to fuck off; I'm just too polite. That's another negative factor within my personality. I'm too polite and I can't even say no whilst I'm forced to make a choice. It's a wonder that Shadow is able to cope with me at all._

"_I'm nervous", I told Shadow. He snorted rudely._

"_Why be so nervous?", he asked, "All that they're telling you is a pack of lies, it doesn't __**mean**__ anything!"_

"_Do you mind?", I hissed furiously. I couldn't __**believe**__ his attitude!_

"_Amy, when I say that you're wasting your time being here, I actually mean it!", Shadow hissed back, "These people are dangerous and I want us to get out of here, __**now**__"_

"_No way!", I stated, "I'm staying!"_

"_Are you just saying that as not to appear so rude?", Shadow demanded, "Or are you staying because you believe that doing this pointless exercise will bring your Mom back?"_

_I opened and shut my mouth. Like I said before, Shadow can easily read my mind - it's too scary, as a matter of fact._

"_So, no talking and let's begin", Silver boomed in the small room. I sighed and focussed my attention on Shadow. _

_And I stared._

_And I stared._

_And I stared…_

_I was about to give up until I saw something __**extraordinary **__happen!_

_Right before my own eyes, Shadow's face began to shrink in ever so slightly. His red pupils began to slowly change into a pale green colour, and ghostly pale pink quills appeared out of nowhere around the forming face in front of me. And __**then**__ the obvious dawned on me. Right in front of me was the ghost of my __**Mother**__!*_

"_Amy", I suddenly heard her voice whisper to me, "It's okay, babes. I'm okay, I just want you to know that. Remember that whatever happens, you have a mother and she loves you very much…"_

_And that was it. That was all I heard._

_I wanted to gasp out loud but we weren't allowed to talk at all. I kept my gaze on my mother's ghostly figure in front of me. Behind my mom Shadow was frowning at my behaviour, bemused._

_**Are you okay?**__,__he mouthed._

_**You're face!**__,__I mouthed back, __**It's morphing! And I heard Mom!**_

_**What?**__, he mouthed back._

_**IT'S MORPHING! It's MOM!**__, I mouthed back, emphasising every word. I must have looked a complete fool by making weird shapes with my mouth and waggling my tongue madly to spell out each word because Shadow suddenly snorted at my performance. Everybody else lost their concentration and glared at the both of us. Silver cleared his throat suggestively. I didn't dare make another distraction. I settled down and stared at Shadow once more, but I had ruined my chance. Mom's ghostly form had vanished and all that was in front of me was Shadow._

_And suddenly the activity was over. Some Mobians mumbled between one another and slowly left the community centre. Others gabbled frantically about what __**they**__ had witnessed, barely pausing for breath. Shadow sighed and stood up._

"_Well, that was a waste of time", he muttered to me as we collected our things._

"_I can't believe that I actually saw Mom", I whispered, still shaken._

"_It was just your imagination", Shadow commented._

"_Maybe it wasn't!", I protested angrily, "Maybe I really did see her, maybe I __**am**__ able to communicate with the afterlife!"_

"_Amy, listen to me", Shadow demanded in a firm tone of voice, "What you saw was all in your head, and nothing more. It doesn't make you any different or any special from the rest of us. For God's sake, I'm trying to help you recover __**properly**__! All I need you to do is __**listen**__ to me!"_

"_Well", I paused and swallowed, "Maybe you're right. Maybe you're wrong… I'm sorry. I'm just so confused just now it's just…", I struggled, "… unreal"_

"_Sure", Shadow replied, "Can I give you a lift home?"_

"_No, it's okay", I answered, "I… I just need some time alone"_

"_No problem", Shadow replied. He gave me a brief kiss on the lips (!) and left in a flash. I paused for a brief moment and slowly turned to Silver and Blaze who were busy putting away tables and chairs. I pondered over whether to talk to them or not and eventually I went over to them. All I wanted to know was because I was able to see and hear Mom, what did it mean exactly? Was I considered a 'natural member' or was it all sheer coincidence?_

"_Um… Blaze?", I asked timidly. Blaze turned her attention to me and smiled. Blaze didn't seem like the type of Mobian who would tease me about such a thing._

"_Yes?", she asked._

"_During the exercise thing, I, um, I…", I muttered, "I saw my mother"_

"_Did you?", Blaze asked, surprised, "Did you hear that, Brother Silver? We have a true member right in front of us!"_

"_I was just wondering, like, what it meant if I saw a spirit like I did a couple of minutes ago?", I asked timidly._

"_It means you have a __**gift**__, Amy!", Silver exclaimed, "You have the gift to communicate with spirits just like other members of our group! Nowadays it's very rare to find a natural member within the public, but with you here we can make our group stronger than ever!"_

"_But I don't want to-", I began._

"_Amy, you have a natural talent that only __**we **__understand", Blaze interrupted, "When you're mixing with other Mobians, they wouldn't understand what you're going through. In fact, you'd be considered as crazy. Whereas our group members understand what you must be feeling and will provide you with the support you would need. Now", Blaze paused, "Would you rather reject our offer to join our group and be seen as crazy by the rest of the community, or would you like us to look after you and make sure that you will be with your mother in the afterlife?"_

"_It's not all doom-and-gloom, Amy", Silver added, "There are lots of activities to do in our social groups and it can be fun; we hold charity runs, bake sales, sports games, evenings out to theatres and restaurants. The important thing about it is we look out for each other and that __**nobody**__ is left behind"_

_I dithered, not knowing what to do._

"_What would your mother want?", Silver asked suddenly. I stared at him. Silver's question was, indeed, intriguing. What would Mom have wanted? For me to live my life as if nothing ever happened… or to do whatever I can to be with her again? And what Blaze had said; was it better to be part of a special group rather than being laughed at and ridiculed by everybody in town?_

_I remained silent, staring at the floorboards in front of me._

"_Amy?", Blaze asked, awaiting my answer. I stood up and breathed in slowly._

"_When is your next meeting being held?", I asked them both._

_

* * *

_

_So, I will be attending their next meeting, simply out of plain interest. After all, if I've supposedly got the 'natural gift' to speak to spirits, then maybe… just __**maybe**__ I can be with Mom once more. And say goodbye properly._

_I know it seems completely boring to go on and on about Mom but I fear that if I stop writing about her, then I'll start to forget about her…_

_Do not worry, my dear diary, for I know what I'm doing._

_Yours,_

_Amy._


	14. Membership

**Hey guys! Here's (a very long) chapter 14! I was originally going to write the entries in individual chapters but I felt that this was too complicated so I've combined the entries all in one chapter! Enjoy!**

**A/N - Themes explored in this chapter are Religious Cults, attitudes and the 2012 'prophecy'. Elizabeth, Joseph, Katherine, Zachary, Leah and Liz and other miscellaneous characters are OCs. 'The Color Purple' is owned by Alice Walker.**

***'Rayans' - reference to the Mayans of the 2012 'prophecy'**

**~Xoxomtmodnarxoxo**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Diary,_

_From time to time we can judge people by how they come across others in our modern-day society: If a male Mobian speaks in a camp voice or has more female friends than male friends, other Mobians would automatically assume that they would be gay. If a Mobian is a different species of animal, they would experience prejudice from other species of animals. And, of course, if one small religious group begins to grow in a community, they would experience harsh criticism by the public simply for having different beliefs and having different living standards. In the end, it's all about attitudes._

_And if I'm being plainly honest, that was __**my**__ impression when I attended one of the Church of Spiritual Souls's meetings at the community hall. I was a bit wary at first when I noticed rows of chairs and a large projector screen in front of the chairs set out in the hall but when I saw Blaze behind a table serving tea smiling at me, I suddenly felt reassured._

"_Amy!", she exclaimed, "Hello! It's so __**lovely**__ to see you here!"_

"_I'd thought I'd just drop by and see how everybody's doing", I lied. I was really there to find out the reason why I had seen Mom in my 'vision' and if I was really an exceptionally gifted person. I didn't tell Shadow or Cream or anybody else that I had attended the meeting tonight because I knew they would do anything to stop me from going. They all believe that the Church Of Spiritual Souls are dangerous people. But I don't need their opinions. I know what I'm doing._

_Anyway, Blaze at the very least believed me and nodded nicely, "That's lovely!", she exclaimed, "You can help serve the tea at the meantime if you want?"_

_So I did. And it wasn't too bad; the people who were there were nice and were all happy to see me and gratefully took their cups of tea. I recognised a few of them from the get-together the night before and nodded at them. Many of the Mobians who were already members of the group greeted each other wistfully as though they hadn't seen each other for years. The majority of the members were adults however there were also children with them. They all stuck out from the crowds because they all wore sky blue shirts and black trousers (black knee-length skirts for the females) and matching black ties. They looked so poised, suddenly so significant from everybody else in the community hall that it made me shiver slightly whenever I caught sight of them._

_When everybody had arrived, Silver welcomed us all and asked us all to take a seat. So we did. Silver then introduced us all to the other members and then gave us a brief history of the Church Of Spiritual Souls, emphasising how the group was created and what accomplishments were made by the founder of the group. Silver then explained the prophecies that the group believed, and even told us that the group had originally predicted the Apocalypse that is suppose to happen in 2012. We all nodded and commented except for one middle-aged male echidna. He frowned and put his hand up._

"_I'm afraid you're mistaken", he commented loudly, "You've just told us that your members from hundreds of years ago were originally Rayans*. But the Rayans didn't predict the end of Mobius, and Modern-day Rayans have concluded that the end of their calendar will not bring about the Apocalypse. The Doomsday theory was only brought about by the Western continents. Scientists have already proven that the predicted 'Apocalypse' is a hoax. Also, the Rayan civilisation became extinct hundreds of years ago. How could your group have survived at all if they had all died years ago?"_

_There was a terrible silence in the hall. I couldn't deny it, the Mobian had made a very good point. Silver's cheeks grew to a faint red colour and I actually saw his hands curled into fists. Oh dear, how was Silver going to contradict the Mobian's point…?_

_But the Silver breathed out briefly and gave the Mobian a firm smile._

"_It is what __**we**__ believe", he answered, "You see, this is what happens when scientific theories are compared with our beliefs: there are debates that contradicts the predictions our God. __**Everybody **__knows that we, the Church Of Spiritual Souls, are __**always**__ accurate with our predictions"_

"_But the Space organisation-", the Mobian began before he was rudely interrupted._

"_If you don't agree with our beliefs then why don't you just __**leave**__?", Silver asked and folded his arms firmly. The Mobian grew quite red and left the hall with an eerie silence. When he left, Silver breathed out and smile reassuringly at the rest of us, "Would anybody else like to join our fox friend?"_

_Everybody froze. Nobody dared to put up their hands. Silver smiled and nodded triumphantly. He then continued with the history of the religious group, showing us pictures of previous members on the projector screen. The group members in the pictures were the exact same pictures from the leaflet that I was given, however the 'lifeless' looks that the young Mobians once had, in my opinion, in the pictures suddenly seemed insignificant. They really did look happy all of a sudden. Maybe I was being overdramatic when I originally believed that the Church Of Spiritual Souls was a cult. They're just a group of Mobians who have a different perspective about God and the afterlife._

_Then Silver finished his presentation and Blaze joined him and explained the application requirements. Those who want to join the group have to pay a application fee of $650 - that's right, $650! - and attend a day out in the countryside that will be organised by the group within the next fortnight, where applying Mobians must contribute in activities, mainly sports, in order for group members to analyse our attitudes and performances. If you want to join, then you are expected to pay the fees and attend the get-together in the countryside. Otherwise you will not be allowed to gain membership and would have to wait for a year until you can apply for a place. But the main point that's worrying me is the application fee -I simply can't afford it! I don't have that kind of money at all! And what If I'm not able to attend the event in the countryside? What if I end up with severe appendicitis or come down with swine flu the day before the day out in the countryside? Would Silver and Blaze automatically reject my application if certain circumstances interfere in my social plans? I certainly wished that they were more understanding and had announced that they would make exceptions for certain excuses as not to attend the get-together. But they didn't. I suppose that's a subtle hint that you must attend __**or else**__._

_When the meeting finally finished, I couldn't help myself and got up and sidled over to Silver whilst everyone else began to depart from the hall. Silver noticed me approaching and smiled._

"_Ah!", he smiled, "Amy Rose! How can I help you?"_

"_It's about the application fee", I admitted, "I'm sorry, Silver, but I just can't afford it at all!"_

_Silver looked wounded._

"_That's a shame", he sighed, "I thought that you'd make a terrific member in our group but I'm afraid we don't make exceptions for those who can't afford to pay our fees. I'm sorry, Amy, I feel as if we've wasted your time"_

"_Oh, but you haven't!", I protested, "Your group and beliefs are very interesting! If only there was some way that I can pay for the fees, but I don't know __**how**__!"_

"_Garage sale?", Silver suggested, "Charity runs?"_

"_Mm", I answered, "I could try getting a job-"_

"_That's all very well, Amy", Silver answered, "But please bear in mind that you are expected to pay the fee within a fortnight"_

_I sighed. I was getting nowhere._

"_Do you offer any special scholarships of any kind?", I dared to ask. Silver shook his head._

"_Sorry", Silver replied, "Our requirements are very strict. If we begin offering free scholarships then those who are already members will begin to question about why they were expected to pay the fees rather than being offered scholarships, too. Do you understand what I'm talking about?"_

_I had to understand._

"_Okay", I answered back shakily, "Don't worry, I'll find a way to get the money"_

_Silver smiled at me._

"_I know you will", he answered back fondly._

… _Only I __**can't**__ find a way to collect $650 within two weeks! It seems to unreal: I can't take out a loan from a bank because then I'll have to pay them back at some point (and how on Mobius am I going to do that if I'll be too busy participating in group activities and therefore not earning for a living?) and no doubt somebody would contact Liz and then we would have one of __**those**__ discussions in her office. I don't dare ask for a loan from a church organisation because who would possibly borrow $650 from a church in order to join another church? It's almost like stealing from a church! I'm not allowed to touch the money that I received from Mom. I inherited $1000 from Mom according to her will but I'm not allowed to gain access to it until I'm 21 years old so I'm pretty screwed there. And I certainly don't dare to ask Tails or Shadow or Vanilla for financial support because that would be so rude to do so._

_Unless… yes, that's it! My small house has got a deposit of $500 so if I sell my house somehow then all I would have to do is sell a few bits of furniture to raise the remaining $150, then I would be able to join!_

_Right, I'll need to get started! First I'll need to polish the floorboards and then clean the windows and then paint the… oh, what am I __**doing**__ still scribbling away? I must do my work!_

_Yours, _

_Amy_

_

* * *

_

_Dear Diary,_

_I managed to sell my house and receive my deposit. The landlord didn't look too happy when he inspected my house and tutted and shook his head at the flaky paintwork and the faded carpet in my bedroom and the dent in the wall in the hallway (which came across when I was once angry with Sonic and therefore kicked the wall with infuriation) but nonetheless he reluctantly gave me the $500. In addition, I had to sell the majority of my furniture (which weren't worth a lot) in my garage sale. The customers were a bit stingy at first since I was trying to sell basic furniture at high prices, but a few gave in and bought some pieces of my furniture, well, enough to raise $250._

_Anyway, once I had received my money I went straight down to the community hall to pay fees. Just as well since tomorrow is the deadline for the payment of fees, and as predicted by myself the community hall was crowded with Mobians who were desperate to join the Church Of Spiritual Souls. The poor volunteers who were there confirming our payments were nearly losing the will to live! It was barbaric: I was shoved, nudged, bruised, and scratched by Mobians who were trying to get past me to have their fees paid. But eventually I managed to get to the table at the front. The volunteer serving me smiled at me sympathetically._

"_Congratulations!", she remarked, "You've just survived the chaos!"_

_I chuckled darkly even though I wasn't in the mood to fool around._

"_Only just", I answered back and handed over my envelope containing my money, "Here it is! The full payment!"_

"_You're in the money!", the volunteer joked and chuckled as she collected my money, "Still we're happy to have you join our society! We hope you didn't go to too much trouble collecting the money for the fees"_

"_Oh, you won't __**believe**__ the trouble I went through to get this money!", I commented, "I even had to sell my house in order to afford the fees!"_

_The volunteer stopped counting the notes in her hand and stared at me with disbelief._

"_So… where are you living now?", she asked anxiously. I dithered. I hadn't really thought about where I was going to stay. It felt that all of a sudden my $650 payment was a very, __**very**__ big mistake. I couldn't go back now. Or could I? I could have easily taken my money away from the volunteer and went back home. I dithered even more. __**What**__ home? I couldn't go back now because there was going to be a family moving into my house within a few days time. It felt as if I had deliberately made myself homeless._

_I felt tears forming in my eyes. The volunteer noticed this. She then quickly counted my money and smiled at me anxiously. _

"_Well the good news is that not only have you fully paid our fees but you are now a member of our society", she informed me. _

"_But what about the day out in the countryside?", I asked._

"_Oh, don't worry about that. They just say that to scare you into behaving sensibly", she smiled, "As long as you don't drink, smoke, swear or make an embarrassing scene, you'll make a very good impression"_

"_But what if I screw up?", I asked further. I blushed at the word 'screwed'._

"_If you royally mess things up then you don't have to worry", the volunteer informed me, "You'll be asked to attend tutorials and group sessions to help improve yourself in order to be part of the society"_

"_Well, that's…", I paused, "… That's okay, really"_

"_One thing we __**don't**__ do is turn our backs on you now that you've paid the fees. You're now __**family**__. And you're in luck because we have halls of residence for members who can't afford their own place. In fact, hold on…", the volunteer knelt down behind the table and rummaged in a drawer. She then produced a key and then brought out a lone sheet of paper from a separate folder, "Here's the key to your room and here's a contract for the room and to confirm your membership"_

_I nervously took the key and signed the contract. The volunteer glanced at my signature and smiled at me warmly._

"_Welcome to the Church Of Spiritual Souls, Sister Amy", she announced._

_

* * *

_

_**Later: **I have now moved into my room. And in all honesty, the room __**is **__cramped. It's not much bigger than a box room and I'll do my best to describe the room to you, my dear diary: When you enter my room through the front door, you go through a brief narrow hallway and once you've went through __**that**__ on your right there is my bed that is situated right beside the small window. Beside the bed is a bedside table that has a lamp and a copy of our bible placed on top if the table. Directly in front of you is a small wardrobe and then to your left there is a toilet and a sink. There is also a lone armchair right beside you when you enter the room, and on the ceiling there is a light bulb to provide the room with light (which sounds quite obvious when you write it out on paper). And that's it. That's my room. My residence. My new home._

_When I noticed how cramped it was, I took a step backwards, and then another, and then another until I was actually standing outside in the main hallway of the building. I thought I was alone until I heard a voice behind me._

"_Mama!", cried a small voice, "That lady looks strange!"_

_I spun around to find two small hedgehogs, the brown male hedgehog looked about three years old and the orange female hedgehog looked only about two years old. They were both wearing the regulated uniforms of the Church. The little boy curiously reached out and touched my boot with fascination whilst the little girl plonked herself down on the floor and blinked at me, wondering whether to cry or not._

"_Joseph!", his mother, an orange female hedgehog, called out behind him, "Manners!", she looked at me apologetically, "I'm so sorry, Joseph isn't quite used to new neighbours"_

"_That's quite alright", I answered, "And you are?"_

"_I'm Sister Elizabeth", she answered and shook my hand fondly, "And this Joseph and Katherine. Welcome to the group! And what's your name?"_

"_I'm Sister Amy", I replied fondly and looked at Brother Joseph and Sister Katherine, "Hello… Brother Joseph and Sister Katherine?", I announced with a hint of uncertainty in my voice. Sister Elizabeth laughed._

"_You don't have to worry about formally addressing children, that only happens when they officially convert to the religion at the age of ten", Sister Elizabeth told me._

"_Oh!", I exclaimed, "I'm so sorry, I-I didn't know"_

"_Not to worry", she smiled, "It's quite obvious that you're a new member. So… what do you think about your new home?"_

"_It's quite cramped if I'm plainly honest", I confided in her. Sister Elizabeth laughed._

"_Enjoy it while you can!", she exclaimed, "We have to cope with five Mobians in our room. I've got my youngest sleeping in the room just now so that's why we're outside so that we can give him a bit of piece and quiet"_

"_Oh, my!", I exclaimed._

"_Yeah, we're waiting for a place of our own but my husband's working overtime in the classes. He's one of our lecturers, you see. It's ridiculous pay but we have enough for our weekly rent", Sister Elizabeth was interrupted by the sound of an infant crying inside her room, "Excuse me", she whispered and went inside. I dithered on the spot, wondering what to say next to my neighbours. Sister Elizabeth reappeared with a baby brown hedgehog who was crying abruptly. He stopped immediately when he saw me. I dared put on a smile and held out a hand to gently pat his cheek. The baby dodged my touch and continued to cry, butting his head against Sister Elizabeth's shoulder. She tutted._

"_Take no notice, Sister Amy", she reassured me, "He's just hungry", and with that, Sister Elizabeth unbuttoned her blouse halfway and began to nurse the baby. I glanced away nervously. I have no idea why, but I find it strangely embarrassing when I see a female breastfeed a child in public. Sister Elizabeth seemed to notice this and kindly unravelled her neckerchief and placed it gently over her baby's head, disguising her somewhat shame._

"_What's his name?", I asked politely._

"_Zachary", she answered proudly, "He's only six months old but he's so __**big**__ for his age!"_

"_Wow", was my only answer._

"_And what about you?", Sister Elizabeth asked politely, "Children?"_

"_Oh, no!", I exclaimed, "I'm only twelve!"_

"_Oh, that's nothing!", she answered, "I had Joseph when I was only fourteen!"_

_The truth shocked me to the core._

"_You… you can't be serious!", I answered back._

"_I am", Sister Elizabeth narrowed her eyes at me, "Didn't you know that females in the Church Of The Spiritual Souls marry young?"_

"_Why… no", I replied. I honestly didn't._

"_Well, we do!", she answered nicely, "If you're interested, I know somebody's cousin who works on the fields who's single and he's __**such**__ a sweetheart! Would you like me to go and talk to him for you?"_

"_Er, well, I-", I stammered. Sister Elizabeth suddenly looked ashamed as she gently placed Zachary against her shoulder and began to wind him._

"_Guess he wasn't very hungry", she commented, "I'm so sorry that I'm pestering you when you've only just joined the group, Sister Amy"_

"_It's not a problem", I reassured her, "After all, I'm just getting used to things around here"_

"_Well, you're right there. Enjoy your peace while you can", Sister Elizabeth informed me significantly, "The minute you get married you don't get a minute's peace", she paused and focussed on Joseph who was randomly tugging at Katherine's quills, "Joseph! That's enough!", she exclaimed._

_I'm so, __**so**__ glad that my life is at the very least peaceful and not like Sister Elizabeth's._

_

* * *

_

_Dear Diary,_

_Today was the organisation that was held in the countryside. Every member travelled by coach and on the way we sang songs about our God and our religion. In a strange sense, the songs didn't seem indoctrinating but they were rather catchy and they all had particular __**meaning**__. The organisation was well-put together where there many different frame tents filled with different tables and chairs and objects. There were also sport activities carefully displayed in the fields, for example, there were goal posts, plastic bases for baseball, potato sacks obviously being used for sack races and even a portable climbing wall! The tents varied of different activities, for example, arts and crafts, bake sales, raffles… there was everything you could imagine! I must admit, I felt a bit wary when I first stepped onto the fields because I didn't know where I fitted __**in**__; there were families, males setting up picnic tables, children running about on the fields, and women standing in groups who were bickering over ready-made food brought with them. I looked for Sister Elizabeth but I couldn't find her anywhere. I dithered on my spot for a few minutes when a female red cat saw me._

"_Hello, dearie", she called, "Are you lost?"_

"_I'm not lost!", I protested, "I just don't know where to go or what to do…"_

"_Wait", she answered, "Are you the nice new girl Sister Elizabeth told me about? Sister Amelia?"_

"_Amy", I corrected her._

"_Well, lovely to meet you, Sister Amy!", she exclaimed, "Now, you don't have to worry about wondering what to do, you've to help us with the bake sale"_

"_Really?", I asked, bewildered._

"_Yep", she answered, "You're part of the bakery duty today. We have our own rota throughout the entire day!", she produced a small list and examined it, "Uh-huh… yes, you're to help us out with the cakes and then you've to supervise the children whilst they play a game of baseball in the afternoon"_

"_Oh", I pondered slightly, "But I'd thought I'd be evaluated for my performance?"_

"_You will be evaluated whilst you do your duties", the red cat told me, "But don't worry, dear, I'm sure you'll do fine"_

_And so I did. And the bake sale actually wasn't too bad. Some cupcakes had turned out bad so I investigated the cakes._

"_You're problem was that you kept opening the oven door too many times", I reported as I studied the sodden lumps in the paper cases, "You need to close the door as much as possible to get the best result"_

"_How brilliant!", one female echidna, Sister Kitty, exclaimed, "You must be a natural when it comes to cookery!"_

"_I want to open my own bakery one day", I confided to the other women, "Maybe one day you'd like to work with me?"_

"_Mm", Sister Kitty answered uncertainly, "Would you like to work in our own kitchen instead? You get access to the main kitchens and cook for as long as you want"_

"_I'll think about it", I answered back._

"_Oh, I know what you mean", another member exclaimed, "I can't even find the time to help clean the halls because I have to look after my children most of the time"_

"_You're lucky!", another female member chipped in, "Sister Leah who lives just down the hallway from me was diagnosed with breast cancer last year and she's been terribly exhausted because of the chemotherapy. She's been so ill that she mostly sleeps nowadays. I honestly don't think she'll get any better"_

"_I thought we didn't allow contact with non-believers to take place?", I enquired curiously, "What if the doctor she saw was blasphemous?"_

_Wow… where did __**that**__ question come from?_

"_The rules are you're not allowed to speak to non-believers, but if there is a serious problem where you need to seek professional help, then we make exceptions", Sister Kitty told me._

"_Ah", I answered._

"_Anyway, Sister Leah has been terribly unwell and she's had four children to look after", the female continued, "Her husband is barely around, so I've tried my best to help her out in any way but I feel that she can no longer cope. The poor dear, it's obvious that she doesn't have much longer to…"_

"_Where is she now?", I asked nervously._

"_She's back at the halls with her sister-in-law", she answered, "She couldn't cope with coming out today…"_

_As the other females gossiped, I turned my back on them as I carefully displayed the cakes on the tables, realising how close the community in the Church of Spiritual Souls actually were. It was clear that the cancer-stricken sister Leah had a group of friends and neighbours who were happy to help out. It made me wonder what had gone wrong in the society I used to live in where there were murders, rape, assaults, attacks… In a sense, I felt very relieved that I had chosen to join the Church._

_The morning had raced by and before I knew it, it was afternoon. I was very nervous by this point because I knew that the children I had to supervise were hyperactive after eating sugary cakes. When I saw them jumping about and shouting excitedly, I knew that I was in for a Hellish time. The children were slightly peculiar. They took the baseball game very seriously and actually became quite aggressive when the other team supposedly cheated. At one stage they began to fight one another and one little hedgehog was shoved to the ground and grazed his knees. He began to cry but I had managed to take him over to the first-aid tent and put anti-bacterial cream on his cuts. When he was eventually bandaged and feeling better, he smiled at me, thanked me and ran back to his friends. As I watched him wander away, I sensed Brother Silver approaching me._

"_I'm very impressed, Sister Amy!", he exclaimed, "We've had feedback on your contribution in the bake sale and everyone there has said that you're a joy to have with them. Also the children seem to love you! We're all very happy that you've settled in well in our community"_

"_Thanks", I smiled. Brother Silver smiled back but I could tell something was on his mind. _

"_It's great that you're joining but there's one thing that you still need to sort out", he informed me._

"_What's that?", I asked curiously. What had I done to make my new friends think that I still needed to improve my standards…?_

"_Uniform", was Brother Silver's reply. At first I thought that I didn't hear him properly until I saw the look on his face, then I realised he was being deadly serious._

"_What's wrong with my own clothes?", I asked. Brother Silver shook his head._

"_I'm sorry, Sister Amy", he told me, "But our uniform is part of our regulations in the Church. If you want to join in, you have to wear the clothing"_

"_But I only have $100", I argued, "I'm being very frugal with my savings; I simply can't afford to buy new clothing. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to wear my own clothing for now"_

"_Hmm", Brother Silver replied, "I didn't realise your predicament… I'll see what I can do"_

_I don't know why, but I suddenly feel frightened by his statement. What did he mean by 'I'll see what I can do'…?_

_

* * *

_

_**Later:**__ I know now! After the day out in the countryside, we all travelled back to our halls of residence to relax for the rest of the evening. As I was brushing my quills there was a knock on my door. However, when I answered it, there was nobody to be seen except for a lone package right in front of me. Fingers trembling, I carefully unwrapped the packaging and found two blouses, a knee-length black skirt, a black knitted jumper, black sandals and a tie. There was also a small note, telling me where to have my clothing laundered and where to get more clothing if needed. Underneath that was a small notebook, indicating how my quills should be kept. Apparently I'm not allowed to have my quills styled in the latest fashion or have a perm; it's not appropriate styles for young women. So, I must do what I can and design a suitable hairstyle in order to be accepted…_

_

* * *

_

_**Later:**__ I'm exhausted. I've spent the last two hours restyling my quills. It was awful! I had to re-wash my quills because I had ran my fingers through them so much that they became greasy. Then I tried tying my quills into a bun only to realise too late that my quills are too short for that hairstyle. I became so frustrated that I very nearly threw my brush at my mirror! But eventually after I had washed my quills and pinned them in heating curlers (with help from Sister Elizabeth), I had created a smooth and wavy (and very pretty, if I do say so myself) hairstyle, with a few hairclips keeping them out of my face . I look like somebody from the 1940s, but in a sense, I actually suit the style._

_Oh, I can't wait to show off my quills tomorrow along with my new uniform! Then I'll be truly accepted by the community!_

_Ciao for now,_

_Amy._

_

* * *

_

_Dear Diary,_

_Today was disastrous! I was helping out the other female members with the laundry when I head the most awful explosion outside the halls. I ran out to see what had happened… only to see Dr. Eggman hovering in the sky in his machine! There was also a building on our land that was on fire, and several Mobians spilling out of it, screaming in fear. I felt my body twitch with anger._

"_EGGMAN!", I roared at him. Dr. Eggman stopped tormenting my poor friends and turned to me and peered at me._

"_Who the Hell are you?", he asked impatiently and shook his head crossly, "I have no time for a game of 'Guess Who' - I have some money to take!"_

"_It's me, you asshole!", I shouted and then clamped my hand over my mouth. No doubt I would be shunned for swearing later on. Dr. Eggman peered at me again and raised his eyebrows in a mocking fashion._

"_Amy?", he asked and then burst out laughing, "Oh, this is too good! First I come here to take all of your money and __**then**__ I find out that the loonies have converted you!"_

"_Where's a camera when I need one?", Decoe asked as he and Bocoe randomly appeared beside Dr. Eggman, joining him in his laughter. I felt my face going very red._

"_They have __**not**__ converted me!", I screamed back, "Now get lost before I give you something to cry about!"_

"_Ooh!", Dr. Eggman answered, "And what are you going to do to me? Bash me with bibles? Send the spirits to attack me? Sing a song?", he snorted, "Per-lease! Stop wasting my time and hand me all of your money and I'll consider sparing your life"_

"_Over my dead body!", I shouted and as I reached for my Piko-Piko hammer, the obvious dawned on me: __**I no longer had my Piko-Piko hammer!**_

_Oh, God, what was I meant to __**do**__? I obviously couldn't fight Dr. Eggman, but I couldn't risk the lives of any members, either. I peered around desperately, but there was no inspiration to help me change into battle-mode. I felt the tears prick in my eyes. I felt helpless. But I vowed that I wouldn't cry, wouldn't cry, wouldn't cry…_

"_Aw!", Dr. Eggman sneered, "She's crying! Listen, Peaches, you obviously can't win against someone as smart and devious as myself, so do me a favour and stop trying to intervene!"_

"_Up yours!", I screamed and picked up a rock and threw it at his hovercraft. The rock smacked against it with a *CLUNK* and had made an impressive dent. Dr. Eggman peered at my vandalism and growled. He narrowed his eyes at me._

"_Think you're so smart, don't you, Amy?", he snarled and aimed his machinery at me, "You won't think that any longer when I'm done with you!"_

_He aimed. I ducked, closed my eyes and screamed loudly, preparing for the worst. But the bullets didn't hit my body. I gingerly re-opened my eyes and found a blue hedgehog standing defensively in front of me, stopping any bullets from hitting me._

"_I thought you'd have known better, Eggman", Sonic exclaimed humorously, "But obviously you don't know the true meaning of charity!"_

"_Charity begins at home, you runt!", Dr. Eggman snarled, "Now stand still so that I can destroy you right here and now!"_

"_Huh!", Sonic smirked, "I'd like to see you try!"_

_And with a quick blue flash, Dr. Eggman's hovercraft was completely destroyed. Dr. Eggman fell down towards the ground and landed in a heap with Decoe and Bocoe following close behind. When Dr. Eggman sat up and found all of the Church members crowding around him, glaring at him. He smirked nervously and ran his right hand through his moustache._

"_I think, uh, I should go!", he announced and got up and ran away. Decoe and Bocoe followed him, shouting after him, leaving an awful silence behind them._

_I breathed out and noticed several injured members emerging from safe areas. They called after me, demanding that I had to help them. I could actually feel them glaring at me for using inappropriate language. I stumbled to my feet and Sonic turned around to look at me._

"_You okay?", he asked, concerned, "You're not hurt in… Amy? Is that you?"_

"_Hi Sonic", I whispered. Great, I had broken yet another rule: No communication with non-believers. Sonic stared at my uniform and my hair and eventually croaked, "This is a joke, right?"_

"_What joke?", I muttered as I bent over and brushed the dust off of my skirt. One of the clips in my quills fell out in the process, dislodging my wavy curls. Sonic attempted to be helpful by picking it up for me. When we were at the same height level whilst bent over I whispered furiously at him, "I'm not allowed to say anything, I'm not even allowed to talk to you! What are you __**doing**__ here?"_

"_I saw Dr. Eggman causing chaos so I was just doing my thing", he chuckled and then stopped, "Please tell me this is an early Halloween costume you're wearing"_

"_No, it's my uniform", I whispered, "Please go!"_

"_No wait", he stood up properly and whispered, "I want to know what's going here. Don't tell me you've actually joined these… people?"_

"_What's wrong with it?", I hissed. The other members were becoming impatient as they awaited my help._

"_What's __**right**__ with it?", Sonic hissed back, "Amy, this is a cult! You need to get out of this before you get yourself hurt!"_

"_I'm happy! Why can't you accept that?"_

"_I don't want to see you get hurt, that's all! I know what these people are like!"_

_I sighed and stood up properly to look Sonic in the eye._

"_These __**people**__ have been very kind to me and have given me the support that I needed"_

"_And what have they done for you?", Sonic argued and crossed his arms, his facial expression stern._

"_They provided me with a place to stay, emotional support, and… and…", I struggled, "… a sense of __**being**__"_

"_What?", Sonic couldn't help but smirk, "That's ridiculous!"_

"_Look, I'm serious", I muttered darkly, "Get out now, or I'll get into serious trouble"_

"_Sister Amy!", somebody called to me impatiently._

"_What did they just call you?", Sonic asked, bewildered._

"_Never mind", I answered, "Look, I've got to go now"_

"_Sister Amy!", the member called again. It was obvious that I was infuriating them._

"_Seriously, I need to go now", I informed him and began to walk away._

"_I'll be back, Amy", Sonic called after me, "Don't worry, I'll get help"_

_When I eventually reached the others, they were furious._

"_What do you think you were doing, talking to that non-believer?", a male fox demanded. It was infuriating the fact that he didn't even know me properly and yet he was telling me off, as if I was his daughter._

"_I-it was somebody I knew", I told him truthfully, "But he's nothing to worry about. He's not dangerous in any way"_

"_But he's not a member", Sister Elizabeth argued._

"_But he saved your money from being stolen by Dr. Eggman!", I protested, "He's really a good guy once you get to know him!"_

"_Sister Amy", Brother Silver had appeared out of nowhere and approached me in an intimidating manner, "That hedgehog is __**not**__ a member of our society. If we ever catch you talking to him again, then we will throw you out of the Church. Our regulations are very strict"_

"_I won't talk to him again", I reassured him, "I promise"_

"_Be sure that you don't", was my warning and then I was sent back into the laundry room. The other women didn't speak to me for the remainder of the day. I have now realised my punishment: If I break one of the rules, then I'll be treated like an outcast. I certainly don't want to experience the same thing again._

_Yours,_

_Amy._

_

* * *

_

_Dear Diary,_

_I am forgiven. Today was the official ceremony that confirmed my membership into the Church. New members, including myself, had to participate in a march through downtown and then towards the Green Hills. When we arrived there, we had to recite the Church Of Spiritual Souls Law. This performance is considered very significant, and participation is compulsory. If you stepped out of line, you ruined the entire sequence. That's why I felt so nervous whilst I stood in line with the rest of the other members in my white dress and flower crown and gold sandals. Apparently my ceremonial outfit highlighted my purity and faith to my religion. I looked okay. Other members reassured me that I looked lovely. But I felt awkward, as though I was making the biggest mistake of my life. _

_But I couldn't back out. Before I knew it we began to march down the streets, regardless of the other Mobians staring at our display. Along the way, we chanted traditional songs about faith, our God, and happiness. Somehow, it felt great that I was a part of something special and not one of the 'ordinary' Mobians who stood and stared at us as we marched past. But what scared me the most that I saw Sonic and Tails standing amongst the crowds. Sonic muttered something to Tails and then they both stared at me despairingly. However, that didn't stop me. I kept marching towards the Green Hills. When we arrived we gathered in a huge circle around a well-built bonfire. There in front of the bonfire were official leaders of different communities from around Mobius, accepting new members from their own areas. Our official leader was a echidna with a fierce facial expression who looked as if he would automatically hit you if you made the smallest mistake. Once everybody had gathered in a circle, we all had to recite a prayer simultaneously and then the new members formed into a line in front of their leaders, where they would speak to the leader individually. _

_When it was my turn to approach the leader, he eyed me up and down and frowned. I stared at him innocently, my heart beating rapidly._

"_Do you, Amy Rose, agree to the requirements of the Church Of The Spiritual Souls?", he demanded loudly._

"_I do", I answered._

"_And do you agree to sacrifice your life and your freedom to the Church Of The Spiritual Souls?", he continued._

"_I do", I answered. The leader nodded and produced a small bowl and dipped his fingers into what looked like red powder. He then reached out and brushed the red powder onto my cheeks, gently tracing circular designs onto my face._

"_Welcome to the Church, my child", he informed me and then dismissed me. I bowed respectfully and slowly walked away. I saw Sister Blaze and Sister Elizabeth together waving at me excitedly, smiling. I nodded at them and then returned to my space in the circle. The confirmation was a very long process, but __**eventually**__ all of the new members were fully accepted into their individual groups and manoeuvred themselves back into the huge circle around the bonfire. The leaders put up their hands. One of them spoke loudly and clearly into a microphone._

"_The Confirmation is complete", they announced to us all, "Go forth, our children, spread our good will to our lost brothers and sisters, and multiply!"_

_And with that we all bowed respectfully, and then the event was over. I breathed out and ran over to Sister Blaze and Sister Elizabeth. They cheered when I ran over to them. _

"_Oh, Sister Amy, we're so happy for you!", Sister Blaze exclaimed. Whilst she said this a frail female cat wearing a headscarf approached me. She patted my shoulder with trembling fingers._

"_Well done, my dear", she congratulated me._

"_Sister Amy, this is Sister Leah we were telling you about", Sister Elizabeth told me._

"_You mean the woman with the… oh", I replied anxiously as I stared at Sister Leah's pale complexion, dark smudges under her eyes, and her headscarf. She looked at me anxiously._

"_I'm sorry", I blurted, "I didn't realise you were so…"_

"_Sick?", she helped me, "I know, it's pretty frightening, but I'm doing my best to stick around for as long as I can"_

"_It's lovely to meet you", I told her, "If you need any help, please let me know"_

"_That's lovely, dear", Sister Leah smiled, "I have such a wonderful support group!"_

"_Oh, Sister Amy, are you seeing anybody just now?", Sister Blaze asked me curiously._

"_No, why?", I asked. She nodded at a male brown hedgehog glancing in our direction._

"_I think you may have a secret admirer", she giggled._

_As they gossiped about men, I shook my head fondly at them. But it felt great that I had officially become a member because now I felt like I was a member of a huge family. Because in the Church Of The Spiritual Souls we looked out for one another. Because we are the superior religion. The superior race._

_We __**are**__._

_Amen._

_Yours,_

_Amy._

_

* * *

_

_Dear Diary,_

_What I've noticed during my stay in the community halls is that there seems to be a strange segregation between our members regarding gender. The men work in the fields growing vegetables, teach classes to the children, or preach in the main streets downtown whilst the women plant flowers in our gardens, cook, clean the halls, and mother our children. It seems easy and heavenly for women but it is very hard work! I had to attend several workshops where I'm taught how to make clothes, how to repair shoes, how to perform first-aid, make beds, clean and in addition our Church Of Spiritual Souls ideology… In all honesty, I feel as if this is training me to become a practical mother in the distant future. With that idea in my mind, I'm slightly scared over what plans my fellow members may have for me in the near future, but in other ways the classes are actually quite helpful if I'm on my own with very little money to my name._

_Today I learned how to make dresses. It was quite fun when we were allowed to model our new dresses to the other members. But it was a terrible burden making the dresses, now that I have plasters all over my fingers! Tomorrow, I'll be helping to clean the dining room after breakfast._

_I'd love to write more but I'm completely exhausted!_

_Amy._

_

* * *

_

_Dear Diary,_

_I'm so happy because I earned my badge for dress-making! It feels wonderful to be awarded for my hard work! I can't write now because I now have to go and help look after Sister Leah's children whilst she rests._

_Amen._

_Yours,_

_Amy._

_

* * *

_

_Dear Diary,_

_I had visitors today. I was busy scrubbing the floors around the tables (honestly, who on Mobius would give hyperactive children scrambled eggs to eat for breakfast?) when I saw Brother Silver walk past the halls to go to an office. I scrambled (pardon the pun) on my feet and scattered towards him desperately._

"_Hi, Brother Silver", I called out, "I was just wondering when we will be doing that exercise where we try to contact our deceased loved ones again? I'd love to try and get in contact with my Mom again"_

"_Soon", was my reply, "I'm too busy with paperwork just now, so bear with me"_

_And with that Brother Silver walked away, leaving me on my own. I sighed and sloped back into the main dining room. Nowadays I feel as if my requests are going unanswered, as though I'm not actually special in any way. Nowadays, I actually feel more like a maid than part of a society…_

_Anyway, before I could go back to scrubbing, Silver reappeared once again, his facial expression solemn._

"_You have visitors", was all he told me in a stern tone of voice, and so I ran to the main entrance to see who my visitors were. But just imagine how horrified I felt when I found Sonic, Tails, Shadow, Cream, Vanilla, Liz, and even Knuckles standing at the main entrance of the halls waiting for me to arrive. They all smiled at me awkwardly._

"_Hello, Amy", Vanilla said. The others nodded. I stared at them, confused._

"_Guys…", I whispered, "What are you doing here?"_

"_We thought we'd come over and… and have a little chat with you", Liz told me._

"_I don't understand", I said, "Why do you need to…", and then the obvious dawned on me. This was an intervention. Honestly, why didn't Sonic take the hint and stay away? Didn't they see that I was happy? At least, I think I'm happy…_

"_Amy, this is crazy", Sonic jumped in, "Can't you see that you're being fed a bunch of lies?"_

"_Oh, be quiet, Sonic!", I snapped, "It's not lies! I am one of the true members of the group! How dare you try to intervene!"_

"_Faker is right", Shadow added, "These people are dangerous. I was once involved with them, and they treat you like slaves. They never actually __**promise**__ to bring your deceased ones back. Amy, listen - and listen hard - your Mom is never coming back"_

"_But-but if I contribute hard enough then I'll be able to-"_

"_Nothing you can contribute will make any difference", Shadow stated, "Just pack your things and get out of here. We can help you get back on your feet again"_

"_It's not as simple as that", Liz chipped in, "Amy might have been indoctrinated into believing that her Mom will come back. We will need gentle encouragement and help from psychologists in order for Amy to fully recover back to her old self"_

"_How dare you!", I shouted, "I've __**not**__ been indoctrinated into anything!"_

"_Oh yeah?", Knuckles demanded, "What crazy promises have you made to these people?"_

"_They're not crazy!", I shouted, "Only that I'd sacrifice my freedom and my life for my leader"_

_They all groaned at me, indicating that I had done something stupid._

"_Oh, Amy, what have you __**done**__?", Sonic demanded. My cheeks flamed and I clenched my fists._

"_I don't need your opinions!", I stated, "I'm happy just the way I am! You're just jealous because you're not a part of our superior race! You're all just filthy scum!", and with that I spat at them. I think some of my spit had hit Cream ever so slightly because she was very close to tears. That's when I felt quite ashamed. Now that I think about it, since when had I become so aggressive?_

"_Amy?", she whispered, "Please, don't… we all love you"_

"_Then if you guys love me so much, why won't you just leave me alone?", I demanded._

"_Because we want to protect you from being hurt!", Vanilla protested, "We don't want you to do anything drastic!"_

"_I'm not going to do anything stupid!", I argued, "Please, get out and leave me be!"_

"_But how can we trust you?", Tails asked. That was the last straw._

"_You __**can**__ trust me!", I snapped, "What do you take me for, an idiot? If I choose to join this Church then that's __**my**__ business! I don't nag at Tails to stop his ridiculous inventing or moan at Knuckles about his temper, so the least you can do for me is to leave me be and let me contribute to my religion"_

_There was an awkward silence._

"_What did you say about my in-", Tails began before he was cut off._

"_Amy's got a point", Shadow chipped in, "If she doesn't need out help then she doesn't need it, and that's that. So, if that's the case, she won't need our help when she realises her 'religion' is all a lie and has nowhere else to go… come on guys, lets leave her for the last time", and with that Shadow turned and slowly left the building. Everybody else paused and glanced at me._

"_Goodbye Amy", Vanilla whispered, "I hope you find happiness in what you're doing"_

"_We'll come back to visit… if that's okay", Cream told me in a weary voice, as though she was trying very had not to cry. Vanilla and Cream then left the building together. Tails gave me a small package._

"_We got you a gift", he told me and then turned to Knuckles, "Come on, let's go"_

_Sonic was the only one left with me. He watched Tails and Knuckles leave together and then looked at me._

"_Please, Amy", he asked nicely, "I know deep down you know that this is all a hoax. I want to help you. I'm willing to put our differences behind us if you please leave this place and get professional help. Don't do it for Vanilla or Shadow or me… do it for yourself, Amy", he held both of my hands desperately, looking anxious, "Please, __**please**__ come back to us…?"_

_I stared at him. Sonic really did care. In fact, they all did. But they were wrong. They were blasphemous towards my religion. I couldn't let that slide by._

"_I'm sorry", I whispered. Sonic stared at me. He then nodded, let go of my hands and silently left the building, not giving me a second glance. I stood aimlessly on my spot with the package tucked under my arm. I reluctantly took hold of it and opened it. It was a book called 'The Color Purple' by Alice Walker. _

"_What's that?", Brother Silver suddenly appeared behind me. I showed him the book._

"_It's called 'The Color Purple'. It's a gift from my friends", I informed him. Brother Silver looked at it and then took it from me. He peered at a page or two. He then nodded… and then raised the book and struck the top of my head with it fiercely. I fell back, clutching my throbbing head, peering at him, confused._

"_Not only did you speak to non-believers yet again, but you accepted an offensive piece of literature from them! Well, shame on you, you filthy sinner! I'm assigning you on laundry duty all week and I'll make sure you'll receive no help whatsoever from your friends or neighbours as part of your punishment, do I make myself clear?", he thundered. I nodded fearfully. _

"_Then get back in there and clean those floorboards!", he ordered, "And don't you even think about requiring help because you don't deserve it, you disgusting backstabber! Get to work!"_

_I scrambled away fearfully, tears pouring down my face. As I slumped down to the floor to scrub them again, I stared at my reflection on the polished floor._

"_I'm __**not**__ stupid", I muttered madly, "I'm __**not**__ a backstabber. I'm __**not**__ a sinner. I'm perfectly normal. It's all Sonic's fault because he stuck his nose in on my business. His fault. __**Their**__ fault! __**They**__ shouldn't have intervened in what I was doing. I hate them all. I hate them! They're stupid. Stupid Mobians. But they'll be sorry when they all die a horrible death in 2012 whilst __**I**__ will survive the horrors of the apocalypse. Because I __**am**__ a true member. A true child of God. I am! They'll all be sorry…"_

_I have full trust in our Lord._

_Amen._

_Yours,_

_Amy._


	15. When Prophecy Fails Again

**Hey guys! Here's Chapter 15! Enjoy!**

**A/N: References in this chapter explore**** psychologist Festinger's study 'When Prophecy Fails'* (1954) and the 2012 'prophecy'. (To prevent confusion, I would like to stress that I do NOT believe that the World will end in 2012)**

**A/N: Credit for this chapter goes to MoonLitSky262 - thank you for your suggestion!**

**A/N: *'When Prophecy Fails' was a psychological study carried out in the 1950s where a cult believed that the World would end due to a great flood and that only they would be saved by 'aliens'. Nothing happened, and the cult members were laughed at afterwards. Thus, the term 'cognitive dissonance' was created. The psychological case 'When Prophecy Fails' is owned by Leon Festinger.**

**~Xoxomtmodnarxoxo**

**

* * *

**

_Dear Diary,_

_At least once in our lives we will experience a day where we would expect our day to be ordinary… but then something drastic will happen along the way that will change our point of view on life to a great extent._

_I was eating my breakfast with Elizabeth (toast and muesli - a bit boring but you had to be grateful with what you were given to eat. I'm not addressing the members formally for a good reason - all will be explained later) and her family in the large dining room alongside everyone else. I was back on speaking terms with them all after the incident with Sonic and the others two weeks ago, and I was grateful because in all honesty, I was feeling a bit lonely. I could tell that the other members found it difficult to speak to me, but at least they weren't ignoring me._

_I felt as though it was my lucky day with everyone acknowledging my existence, when Silver ran into the dining room, out of breath, clutching sheets of paper in his arms. We barely noticed his state until he shouted out to us, "My friends! We have made a miscalculation! Our readings were wrong!", he announced in a frantic voice, "The apocalypse is not in 2012, the apocalypse is in two days time! It's the end of time!"_

_Not exactly what you want to hear whilst eating your breakfast, if you ask me. Instantly, many members began to cry in fear, some screaming, some praying for forgiveness, frantic mothers, shouting fathers, and children who were absolutely terrified. From my point of view, I saw at least three children vomiting in panic. In all honesty, __**I**__ was terrified, but I was angry at the same time at Silver for announcing the news in such an inappropriate way. He should have at least considered our reactions before telling us the awful news. That way we would have had a bit of sanity in response to his announcement._

_Anyway, we were all screaming at him, demanding to know everything he was told._

"_An unknown planet is moving closer into our orbit and it will collide into Mobius within the next two days!", he continued, "I've been told it will collide into us at exactly 8 o'clock. Prepare yourselves for the end… and for the beginning of our new lives with our deceased loved ones! We will unite with them once again! This is __**not**__ a hoax!"_

_I beg his pardon, but nobody had actually claimed that his statement was a hoax. When I think about it now, his words '__**this is **__**not**__** a hoax**__' were actually suspicious. So, as a result, we all began to leave our tables and ran to our residential halls in fear. I couldn't believe it. I doubt anybody else could believe that this was our penultimate day on Mobius. It certainly didn't __**feel **__like the end of time. When I ran to my room, I stopped and stared at my surroundings: a few pieces of clothing, a brush, my diary… but nothing that was really __**significantly**__ important, in my opinion._

"_Get a hold of yourself, Amy", I whispered as I knuckled my forehead,, "You're going to die and yet you're fussing over your stupid possessions!"_

_I then looked out of my window into the blue sky. Why, of all days, was the apocalypse going to be that particular day? Why was that day so significant for such a thing to happen? Was there an underlying prophecy that predicted a catastrophe? Did the date refer to anything particularly significant?_

_I sat down on my bed and stared at the wall opposite me. I started wondering what death would feel like. Would it be slow and painful, or quick and painless? Would there be explosions? Would the planet just end suddenly within a quick flash? Was it true what people say about 'approaching the light' through a tunnel of darkness? Would Mom be there waiting for me the minute our planet was destroyed…?_

_I suddenly felt scared. Even though I had agreed to sacrifice my life and freedom to our God, I somehow wasn't prepared for death at all. I was too young, I still needed to __**do**__ things in my life. And yet, those accomplishments would remain incomplete. Oh, it was so unfair! Why did our God have to choose now for the apocalypse to arrive, for crying out loud?_

_Unless… no, I __**couldn't**__._

… _I could. It does seem easy enough to do so._

… _I could… take some painkillers. Not one - a handful. And swallow them. Not quite - the Church didn't believe on relying on medicine unless it was completely necessary, for example, Leah's chemotherapy. Therefore it would be difficult for me to obtain some…_

… _I could… lie in a full bath tub and hold my breath until I lose consciousness. No, too slow. I need it to be quick. _

… _I could… use a razor… No. Too red. I need it to be quick and simple, and at the very least clean._

… _I could… jump from the top of a building… No. What if I had survived the fall? I would still witness the end of time if that was the case…_

"_Oh, it's no __**use**__!", I howled and fell back onto my bed, tears pouring out of my eyes. I knew that either way I would still face the destruction. There was no point contemplating suicide. If the next two days were going to be my last, then I had no choice but to make the most of them._

… _Doing __**what**__, exactly? I couldn't stand the idea of telling my mother that I had spent the remaining hours of my life scrubbing floors or being struck by a book! I couldn't just lie on my bed, wasting time - I must do!_

_Only the problem was that the other members expected me to help prepare for the apocalypse. We were instructed to wear our cleanest uniforms and report to the Green Hills where we would be accepted into the Heavens above by our deceased loved ones at exactly 8 o'clock, and then - God forbid - our planet would end._

_Yet during that time, I could tell that doubts were beginning to grow in our minds. What if the doomsday was a hoax? What if this was a complete waste of our time? If so, what were we to do next? Who were we to believe?_

_So, by quarter to 8 in the evening that day, every member, including myself, were standing on the Green Hills, awaiting the destruction. I fidgeted on the spot and dared whisper to Blaze, "So… what shall we do, Sister Blaze? Recite a prayer? Sing a hymn? Maybe 'Amazing Grace'?"_

"_We'll see", was my answer. I felt very uneasy. If Blaze didn't know what was going to happen, then we were all in for an unpleasant surprise. I felt that everybody else were beginning to feel the same way because they all settled themselves on a spot in the hills. Nobody laughed or cheered or even spoke. There was a deadly silence all around. I actually considered running away until Silver stood up and raised his arms to everybody._

"_My brothers and sisters", he announced loudly and clearly, "We will soon be witnessing the end of Mobius! This is what our people have been waiting for, for hundreds of years! We will be united with our loved ones! We will commit to our duty to sacrifice ourselves to our Lord! We will become one! My Brothers and sisters, the end is here!"_

_I clutched Elizabeth's hand, although she had her children clustering around her, petrified. I dared to glance at my watch. It read: 7:52pm._

"_Sister Elizabeth", I whispered, "What do you think death feels like?"_

"_I don't know", she whispered back, "I tried to contact father from the spiritual world, but I couldn't get in touch with him for some odd reason"_

"_That's another thing", I pointed out, "Sister Elizabeth… have you ever actually done any spiritual exercises since you became a member?"_

"_What do you mean?", she asked._

"_Like, have you tried to contact the spirits at any moment of time through group activities?", I paused, "Or did Brother Silver simply say to you, 'Soon'?"_

_She paused dramatically. Joseph whined because she was neglecting him._

"_In all honesty", she replied, "I was told 'Soon', but I… Look, Sister Amy, I don't want us to be arguing during our last minutes on Mobius. Can't we just drop the subject?"_

"_Just a simple question", I pointed out innocently. _

"_Indeed", she replied, "But some questions are best remained unanswered"_

"_Mm", I answered. Elizabeth ignored me and focussed on her children._

"_Now, children", she said to them, "What do we say when we see your grandmother and grandfather, grandpa and grandmamma?"_

"_We are happy to see them", Joseph answered proudly. Elizabeth smiled._

"_That's correct, Joseph", she told him and began to rock Zachary in her arms. I looked at Joseph, Katherine, and Zachary, and thought about how awful it was the fact that they were all so __**young**__ and that they were going to die in a matter of idiots._

"_Sister Elizabeth", I whispered, "I'm so sorry"_

"_For what?", she asked._

"_For not living your life to the fullest", I commented, "I can't believe you'll be dying at such a young age!"_

"_We're not dying", she replied, "It's a blessing! We're going to be reunited with our loved ones!"_

"_Sister Elizabeth!", I snapped and grabbed a hold of her shoulders so that she would look me straight in the eye, "You're going to __**die**__! Don't you feel scared or upset in any way?"_

"_Nope", she smiled, "Why, do you?"_

"_I-I don't know", I mumbled. I was telling the truth. I honestly didn't know if I felt excited or terrified about the end of Mobius._

"_If you feel scared, you can hold my hand", she offered me her hand, "And that way we sacrifice our lives together, yes?"_

_I breathed out shakily, and gave her a false smile._

"_Okay", I whispered. I checked my watch: 7:57pm. Only three minutes to go._

"_My brothers and sisters!", Silver shouted, "Get ready!"_

_We stood up straight. We watched the sun slowly lowering itself in the sky, indicating nightfall approaching. I shivered as cool air traced my arms and neck, and yet somehow soothing me at the same time. I didn't know whether to close my eyes or keep them open. I clung to Elizabeth desperately. My blouse clung to my back in a most unappealing manner because I was sweating so badly (well, you would do the same if you were facing the apocalypse!). My legs shook with fear. I felt tears moisten my cheeks. It amazed me that Sister Elizabeth remained so calm and collected -how could somebody __**possibly**__ remain that way when they're facing death?_

_I decided to ignore her and closed my eyes again, the cold air mixing with my warm tears. The hills remained silent._

_**7:58pm…**_

"_Are you ready?", Elizabeth asked me. I shook my head fearfully._

"_I don't want to die!", I cried out, "I can't go through with this!"_

"_It's too late to back out now", she answered in a strange, calm voice. Joseph turned around and waved at me, smiling. I groaned and turned away from this performance. I __**certainly**__ didn't want to see her children react like __**that**__! It simply seemed unreal for them to be so calm and collected when they were going to die…_

… _I waited…_

… _And waited…_

_**7:59pm…**_

'_Goodbye Sonic, Tails, Shadow, Cream, Cheese, Vanilla, Rouge, Knuckles, Chris, Ella…', I thought to myself aloud, 'I will never forget you. I love you all…'_

… _I waited…_

_**8:00pm…**_

… _We waited._

_And waited._

_And waited._

_**8:01pm…**_

… _We waited._

_**8:02pm…**_

_Nothing happened…_

_**Nothing happened**__._

_At first, we thought it was a joke. We all laughed nervously, chuckling at one another's emotional state._

"_Maybe our watches are a little fast", somebody commented, "That must be it! We're a little ahead of schedule!"_

"_Or maybe", a voice said behind me, "You've all been lied to by a group of idiots who have scammed you from your freedom and your money"_

_I turned around and felt faint. It was Shadow. Shadow; my knight in shining armour._

"_There is no such thing as the 'Spiritual Souls'", he continued, "This was just an elaborate plot to rob you blind and to contradict your deepest beliefs. I've been down this road, and trust me, you've all been cheated and lied to", he folded his arms in triumph, "Congratulations"_

_There was a horrible silence. We all looked at one another. Only then did Mobians march up to Silver and Blaze in fury, demanding their money back. Others whispered among themselves and cried with humiliation and infuriation whilst their children whimpered and complained with confusion, and slowly - one by one - they began to depart from the hills aimlessly, demanding to one another about what they were going to do next. I dared to look at Elizabeth. She was biting her lip, trying very hard not to burst into tears._

"_It was all a lie", she muttered angrily, "I committed my life and my freedom for these people, and it was a lie the entire time?"_

"_Oh, Sister Elizabeth", I whispered, "I'm so sorry-"_

"_Don't __**call**__ me that!", she shouted, "I'm not your sister! I'm nobody special! I'm just a pathetic Mobian who joined a cult only to be let down severely! I can't believe I've been so stupid!"_

"_You mean", I asked, "You hadn't realised this until now?"_

"_I wish to God I didn't", she snapped, "And stop acting as though you knew that this was a lie the entire time because we all know deep down that you fell for this 'prophecy' as much as we did. So do us a favour and stop __**pretending**__!"_

_There was a pause between us._

"_So…", I paused, "What are you going to do now?"_

"_I don't know", she sighed impatiently, "I honestly don't know. We have to do something since we've now made ourselves deliberately homeless", she looked at her children and husband, "Come on, everyone, let's go"_

"_Oh, well", I struggled, "Goodbye… Elizabeth. I hope everything works out for you"_

"_Yes", Elizabeth answered, "Goodbye, Amy. Maybe one day we'll meet again" And then she left quickly with her family. I stared at them as they struggled through the hills, Elizabeth and her husband arguing with one another as they marched away determinedly. I then focussed my attention on Silver and Blaze. They stared into the darkening skies, not saying a word._

"_Brother Silver?", I asked. He did not reply so I tried again, "Brother Silver?"_

_He groaned._

"_Just go, Amy", he replied, "There's nothing left to see. Just leave, please"_

"_But what about my money?", I whispered. He paused and then knuckled his forehead._

"_We spent it on the community", he answered weakly, "We can't give you your money back… Sorry"_

"_Sorry?", I screamed, "Is that all you can say?"_

_I was so angry that I furiously punched Silver's face. Blood spurted out of his nose in a somewhat fascinating manner. He cried out in pain and grabbed his bloody nose whilst Blaze grabbed his shoulders to pull him away from anymore danger._

"_Have you gone insane?", she cried at me._

"_No, __**you**__ people have gone insane!", I shouted, "I should have never joined this Church in the first place! Just you wait - I'll sue you! I'll have you people arrested! I'll-"_

"_Come on, Amy", Shadow consoled me away from Silver and Blaze, "Let's go. We need to talk"_

_I glared at them both and walked away with Shadow. When we were on our own, I burst into tears._

"_Oh, Shadow", I whimpered, "What have I __**done**__?"_

"_You've done __**nothing**__ wrong", he reassured me, "We didn't want you to find out through the worst way possible, but we didn't know what else to do to convince you that you were being fed lies the entire time"_

"_I'm __**such**__ an idiot!", I mumbled as I hid my face in my hands._

"_No you're not", he told me, as he put his arm around me, "I reacted the same way when I was a member of the group"_

"_So… how did you get involved with these people?", I asked._

"_When I left Earth after I had destroyed the Space Colony Ark with Faker, I transported back here. The problem was I felt kind of lost and alone and __**I**__ needed reassurance, so when that Silver guy mentioned this Church… I joined it for a while", Shadow paused, "And then I realised their true colours and I got out as soon as possible. I just didn't want to see you go through the same thing… I'm sorry the realisation didn't hit you sooner"_

"_It's okay", I whispered, "I'm sorry I was so mean to you all…"_

"_It's okay", he replied nicely. There was one nagging thought that lingered in my mind._

"_What am I going to do __**now**__?", I whined stupidly, "I've got no money, no home to go to…"_

"_We were afraid of that", Shadow answered, "So Vanilla and Cream want you to stay with them until you recover and they won't take 'no' for an answer", he chuckled, "And you'll find a job soon enough. Your social worker is doing her best to find you work"_

"_I've got brilliant friends", I commented, "And I've taken you all for granted… I'm so, so sorry!"_

"_It's __**okay**__", Shadow reassured me, "You're not the first Mobian to be influenced by a cult, and you won't be the last. At least you didn't do anything stupid like commit suicide or anything like that"_

"_Uh-huh", I replied, not even able to tell him about my suicidal thoughts from earlier on._

"_Want to get out of here?", he asked._

"_You bet", I replied happily. He carefully lifted me and placed me on his back and raced out of the hills, pausing along the way to help me collect my things, and then took me away from the community halls. I watched with fascination as we sped along the streets, feeling alive for the first time in weeks as the cool wind raked through my quills and traced along my face. _

"_I hope you don't mind", Shadow said to me, "I wanted to stop somewhere for a while before we go to Vanilla's. Do you mind?"_

"_Of course not", I replied back. He smirked and ran towards… towards the city's main cemetery. When we reached the main entrance, he gently tipped me off of his back and coaxed me in. I took a deep breath and slowly ventured inside… towards my mother's grave. When we found it, we stood staring at it silently for a brief moment of time._

"_Say something", I said to Shadow._

"_What?", he asked._

"_Say something. Anything", I told him._

"_She's your mother, Amy", he told me gently, "Not mine"_

_He was right. I stared at my mother's grave, took a deep breath, and began._

"_Hi, Mom", I whispered, "It's me, Amy. I-I'm sorry that I haven't been to see you recently but it's just that I was convinced that if I joined this so-called organisation, then I would be with you again. But…", I paused, "… it was obvious that it was never going to happen. I-It was just that I was so desperate to see if you were doing okay in the afterlife and to know if you are happy until I realised… it was your job to worry about how __**I**__ was coping with your… your passing… I'm so sorry, Mom, I wish you were still here. But you're not… and… but…"_

"_But you'll always remain alive in our hearts", Shadow concluded kindly._

"_Thanks", I whispered. We spent a few more minutes beside my mother's grave before Shadow reluctantly walked me out of the cemetery and then we began our journey towards Cream's house._

_

* * *

_

_In the end, Religion is important. Everybody needs something to believe in but there comes to a point where we need to know our limits in regards to beliefs and attitudes, especially over important matters such as Doomsday. Cults can be very dangerous, to which they would seriously contemplate dangerous tasks should their beliefs be threatened by scientific facts. The majority of the time, prophecies made up by cults can fail, and if members don't realise this sooner they can take seriously dangerous consequences such as suicide, which is foolish. We simply need to reassure ourselves that we will be okay despite what dangers we may face._

_It made me realise another significant point. If this Doomsday prophecy failed, then it is highly possible that the 2012 prophecy will be a hoax, too. I remember when we were on Chris's planet and at one point everybody thought we were going to die because these scientists had created some Hadron Collider machine that would destroy the planet, but then nothing happened. Chuck then told us about some Y2K hype that happened years ago when every human thought they were going to die, but then nothing happened. And now once I think about it, there is a pattern appearing in these 'Doomsdays'. If one person predicts the end of time, then there is a chance that nothing will happen. As a result, this has reassured me about the 2012 hype. I mean, it comes to a point where you live through so many Apocalypses that after a certain point you simply don't **care **anymore, thus life continues normally. As long as I have my friends, then I am able to get through just about any difficulty. Which is why I've left the Church Of The Spiritual Souls and therefore didn't address the members formally in this entry. But I'm still worried about Elizabeth and her family. I hope everything turns out okay for them in the end. I'm sure that if I can recover from all of this, then they can, too._

_Yours,_

_Amy._


	16. Tanorexia

**Hey guys! Here's chapter 16!**

***As seen in episode 26 of 'Sonic X'.**

**NEW UPDATE (as of 22/2/11)**

*****WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?*** - What would YOU like to see happen in the next chapter of 'The Memoirs Of Amy Rose'? Visit my poll on my profile and vote for your choice! Closing Date for the poll will be the 15th March 2011.**

**~Xoxomtmodnarxoxo**

_

* * *

_

_Dearest Diary,_

_I am me again! After what I felt was an eternity, I was able to regain my confidence, change my clothing, and my quills back to their original style. I have decided to become an atheist, since I can no longer bring myself to believe in religion ever again. When I first told Vanilla about my decision, she choked on her tea. But in the end, it is entirely my decision what I want to believe in. And if prophecy fails me again and again, then there's no point in believing - at least, in my opinion, anyway._

_Anyway, despite my financial problems, Vanilla informed me about a charity shop in the town centre that sells clothes. I had decided to treat myself and found a very __**good**__ deal where a pair of skinny jeans were only $3. As a result, I left the shop with the pair of jeans, two new tops, and a close-fitting jumper. I got a shock, however, when I left the shop and barged into a Mobian absent-mindedly in the street._

"_Oh, I'm so sorry!", I gushed at the Mobian. And then I saw who it was._

_I groaned. It was Rouge. We barely liked one another, but she gave me a cheeky smile nonetheless. _

"_Amy!", She exclaimed, as if she was actually pleased to see me, "It's been so long! How have you been, hon?"_

"_Better", I replied cautiously, "Surviving at the very least"_

"_You can say __**that**__ again", she chuckled, "I'd probably have an emotional breakdown if I had been lied to by a cult"_

"_Mm", I mumbled, not wanting to discuss my unwanted memories if the cult… _

_I desperately wanted to change the subject and found myself looking at Rouge's arms. They were strangely darker than usual; as though she had been on a permanent holiday to a hot place abroad._

"_Rouge?", I found myself asking, "Have you been to someplace sunny?"_

"_Why do you ask?"_

"_You look lovely with your tan!", I lied through my teeth. True, the tan was brilliant, but it really __**didn't**__ suit Rouge at all. The dark tan made her white hair stand out so much that it was almost blinding to the eye. Rouge had taken my lies a bit too seriously. She smirked at me._

"_Of course it's lovely!", she stressed, "I know I'm more of a nocturnal type of animal but even you can admit that I suit a tan!"_

"_Uh-", I began._

"_I was flying by this __**gorgeous**__ resort", Rouge explained, "And the sun was unbelievable, so I spent a few hours on the beach sunbathing and when I woke up, I had a nice tan!", she twirled on her tip-toes to show off her tan all around, "But a few weeks later my tan began to fade and as a result I had a lot of skin peeling off which was __**gross**__, but then I thought, 'Why don't I just have a permanent tan, and that way I'd have gorgeous skin __**and**__ have __**no**__ skin peeling off at the same time?', and here I am, babe!"_

"_Right", I answered. Rouge giggled and then suddenly squealed. She clutched my arm._

"_You can come with me when I get my tan done!", she exclaimed._

"_I'm… going abroad with you?", I asked stupidly._

"_No, duh", she remarked, "Come to the tanning salon down the street with me! You can sign up and use the beds, too!"_

"_Well, I don't know…", I muttered, "I'm suppose to be getting back to Cream's, you see, and-"_

"_Oh, come __**on**__, Amy!", Rouge answered, "Lighten up! I won't even take long so please, please, please come with me? You don't have to get a tan if you don't want to"_

"_But we never hang out together", I stated. It seemed strangely bizarre that we were actually acknowledging one another's existence without a chaos emerald or Dr. Eggman being involved. Rouge giggled and linked her arm around mine. We began walking down the street._

"_You're so funny, Amy", she commented, "You remind me of Rosemary Woodhouse. Have you ever read the book 'Rosemary's Baby'? It's such a fantastic book and the ending is brilliant. Yep, you remind me of the eponymous hero, Rosemary; she's so cute and innocent in the book but she's fierce at the same time and she questions every little suspicious thing that occurs in the story"_

"_I'm not __**very**__ fierce", I pointed out shyly._

"_But you're strong-willed and determined", Rouge explained, "I'll have to lend you the book sometime, and the movie. Oh, you'll love the movie!"_

"_Isn't it a rather difficult book?", I asked. I imagined the book as a long hardback with small-printed words. Rouge snorted._

"_As if!", she remarked, "It's not even that long, but it's still a good story to read again and again"_

"_Oh"_

"_That's why you remind me of Rosemary. I've always found you interesting, but I've never had the chance to properly speak to you because there was always a __**drama**__, especially over that little runt, what's-his-name. You know, that human kid who was always hanging about?"_

"_Chris?"_

"_Yeah, him", Rouge sniffed, "I've always found him annoying ever since he deliberately made me lose my chaos emeralds*. He always seemed to be in the __**way**__. And the way he was always desperate to be with Sonic was too strange for words. I'm actually surprised that Sonic didn't run for the hills!"_

"_It wasn't Chris's fault", I explained fairly despite Rouge's accurate statement, "He was just a lonely kid who didn't have a lot of friends and his parents kind of neglected him"_

"_Whatever", Rouge answered, "But at least we're back at home. I'm so relieved to be flying around now without being pulled over by the cops or the Air force!"_

"_Yeah", I replied back helplessly._

"_And what about you?", she asked, "Are you back to chasing Sonic around?"_

"_No!", I replied sharply, "If you must know, I'm dating Shadow"_

"_**Really**__?", Rouge asked, interested, "But he's so… anti-social. He barely cracks a smile!"_

"_He's nice once you get to know him", I pointed out._

"_Mm", she answered, "And what about Sonic? What does he think about this?"_

"_He's fine about it", I lied. In actual fact, Sonic didn't seem fine at all when he found out that I was dating Shadow. He began to act a lot like shadow by becoming unresponsive the majority of the time and always went off on his own, barely even smiling. It's actually quite scary now that I think about it. I don't know if Sonic is trying to __**act**__ like Shadow in order to capture my attention, or that he's simply not happy at all. Oh, well. His loss._

"_That's great babe", rouge said, "Get the boys while you still can! Soon enough you'll looks will start to go"_

_I stopped and glared at her. The realisation suddenly hit her._

"_No!", she remarked, "__**You're **__still lovely and young, Amy. But look at me! I've actually got stretch-marks on my hips, and I'm not even twenty! I think I've also gained some weight. Try very hard to stay so young, Amy, because you'll never be the same again"_

"_I know how you feel", I confessed, "I've gained so much weight recently!"_

_Before I knew it, we began to gossip about diets as we strolled down the street. I had never realised how chatty Rouge actually is. It was actually quite refreshing talking to somebody who had the same interests as me in regards to clothing and diets. It was a shock when we were suddenly outside a tanning salon and Rouge stopped talking._

"_Well, here we are!", she announced, "Why don't you sign up in the salon, too? We can be tanning buddies together"_

"_Mm", I paused, "I think I'll pass this time. Maybe another time"_

"_Suit yourself", Rouge shrugged, "I won't be long, I promise"_

_So we went inside, and Rouge signed in and went into one of the rooms. I waited for her at the main reception, glancing at the promotional pictures of Mobians with tans._

_And I waited._

_And I waited._

_And I waited._

_I peeked at my watch from time to time: 10 minutes… 20 minutes… a full half hour! Rouge eventually appeared, looking hot and flustered._

"_Hey, Amy", she said calmly. I stared at her with disbelief._

"_Didn't you realise you've been in there for more than half an hour?", I demanded._

"_Really?", she asked, "I didn't notice"_

"_Surely it's not healthy for your skin?", I pointed out. Rouge sighed impatiently._

"_Oh, lighten up, Amy", she snapped, "My skin is perfectly healthy, and nothing bad will happen to me, so relax!"_

"_But-"_

"_Look", she snapped, "Are you going to keep picking faults with me, or are you going to let me lead my own life, like a good friend would do?"_

_I very nearly asked, 'We're friends?', but I stopped myself just in time. I didn't have a choice: you could either have Rouge for a best friend, or your deadly enemy. So I remained silent, and pushed my nagging thoughts aside. But even then I couldn't stop the doubts eating me up inside._

_

* * *

_

"_Has anybody noticed Rouge's new tan nowadays?", I piped up. Everybody grunted in response. Sonic, Cream, Cheese, and I were all at Tails's workshop to relax and enjoy the sunshine. However, after witnessing Rouge's new tan, I insisted on using an umbrella to help me protect myself from the sunshine. The atmosphere was pleasant, however, so we hugely enjoyed the summer weather._

"_What about her tan?", Sonic asked, as he lounged on a deckchair._

"_Her skin is much darker nowadays", I pointed out. I assumed that the piece of information was not enough to capture their attention so I tried again, "And she spent more than half an hour on a sunbed this morning"_

"_Well, what's wrong with that?", Sonic asked, "It's up to Rouge to do whatever she wants"_

"_Did you say more than half an hour?", Tails asked me, peering at me through his sunglasses. _

"_Yeah", I answered._

"_That's too dangerous!", Tails stated firmly, "What is Rouge __**doing**__? Doesn't she realise the damage she's doing to her skin?"_

"_You mean, like, sunburn?", I asked, "I doubt that will make her change her mind"_

"_No! Sunbeds have very strong UV rays compared to the sun itself, you see, and if Rouge exposes her skin too often to these UV rays, she puts herself under risk of catching Melanoma"_

"_Catching what?", I whispered._

"_Skin cancer", Tails explained. My heart began to thud. I hadn't realised just how dangerous sunbeds could be. I raked through my memories back to when I was admiring Rouge's tan. I hadn't seen anything significantly different on her skin, so as far as I knew Rouge hadn't damaged her skin too much… yet. But I'm still terrified for her safety. I shall have to speak to her tomorrow and try to convince her to stop using the sunbeds. I just hope that she will listen to me._

_Yours,_

_Amy._

_

* * *

_

_Dear Diary,_

_I failed dramatically at first trying to convince Rouge to stop using sunbeds. In fact, I was actually given abuse when I spoke to her about it. After our strange bonding the other day, I'm still quite shocked to be spoken to in such a way, so much that it has taken me all my strength to write our conversation onto this page:_

_I was walking towards the tanning salon, intending to catch Rouge in the act when I saw her walking towards me. She smiled and waggled her fingers at me. I peered desperately for any tell-tale signs of Melanoma on her skin (I searched the cancer on the Internet last night… it was pretty ugly, if I do say so myself)._

"_You okay, babe?", she asked me, concerned._

"_Rouge", I paused, "Are you going into the tanning salon just now, by any chance?"_

"_Yep", she smiled, "I've got to keep my tan going. Fancy joining me today?"_

"_No!", I cried and then regained myself, "Listen, Rouge, I was wondering if you knew anything about Melanoma?"_

"_What's that?", she asked, "Some sort of ham?"_

"_No… you see, it's a form… of skin cancer"_

"_Yeah, what about it?", Rouge asked, putting one hand on her hip._

"_Well, funny thing is that", I choked a laugh, "Melanoma forms when a person's skin is exposed to too many UV rays"_

"_What are you __**talking **__about?", she demanded. I sighed impatiently. Honestly, this is what I find irritating about Rouge; she doesn't __**listen**__ properly._

"_Rouge", I stated firmly, "Using sunbeds too much can seriously damage your skin and increase your risk of skin cancer!"_

"_What?", she asked with disbelief. I felt my blood boil and my right eyelid twitch slightly._

"_If you overuse sunbeds, you might develop skin cancer", I explained, "I'm sorry, but I don't want to see you risk your health, Rouge"_

"_Amy, nothing is going to happen to me!", she chuckled, "I know what I'm doing. Trust me, the sunbeds are perfectly safe!"_

"_But I read about this girl who used sunbeds", I explained, "She used a sunbed for ten minutes every single day and eventually developed Melanoma. She didn't use sunscreen… do you use sunscreen, Rouge?"_

"_As if!", Rouge retorted, "That way I won't have my perfect tan!"_

"_Rouge, you moron!", I screamed, "Do you want to damage your skin?"_

"_Amy, if sunbeds were so dangerous, then they wouldn't be allowed to open salons around Mobius"_

"_But it's the people who use them who must control their obsession over tans"_

"_Ex__**cuse**__ me?", Rouge snapped and folded her arms crossly, "Are you saying I've got a problem? An addiction?"_

"_Well… yes", I admitted, "You've been using sunbeds excessively and you're always worried about the colour of your tan… are you tanorexic, Rouge?"_

"_What the __**hell**__ does tanor-what's-it mean?"_

"_It means you're always worried about the colour of your skin and that you have a continuous obsession about getting the 'perfect' tan… it's so obvious now! Oh, Rouge, I'm so glad I've stopped you from doing more damage to your skin! Here", I offered one hand, "Let me help you"_

_Rouge stared at my hand and sniffed._

"_I don't need your help!", she insisted, "And you're __**not**__ helping! You're just interfering! That's all you ever do - interfere! And I'm not endangering my health! Tanning is perfectly healthy, haven't you ever heard of Vitamin D? Look", she paused, "If I choose to give myself my tan, then that's my decision. But I can assure you, I will not develop this Melanoma crap. I'm careful, you see"_

"_How many times do you use a sunbed a day?", I asked out of curiosity._

"_Twice a day!", she snapped._

"_Oh, Rouge", I replied sadly, "I feel so sorry for you"_

"_Don't you __**dare**__ feel sorry for me!", she shouted and slapped my face. Stunned, I stepped back slightly. I then reached out and slapped her back. Rouge then grabbed a hold of me and began to pull at my quills. I cried out and punched her tanned skin, wishing her skin was badly burnt in order to give her more pain. Rouge then kneed me in my stomach, winding me. I wheezed slightly and then lunged at her, scratching her face. Rouge then punched my face. Other Mobians stared helplessly at us. Males, in particular, were thrilled to see two women fight. _

"_You're such a fucking loser!", Rouge roared in my ears, "You act all nicey-nicey but you're just so __**annoying **__- you try to help but all you do is bring more misery into our lives!"_

"_That's rich coming from somebody who uses a fucking sunbed!", I shouted back, "You act as if you know everything but you're such a fucking brainless bitch!"_

_Suddenly, a police officer and a baker from a nearby bakery pulled us apart._

"_What on Mobius is going on here?", the police officer demanded. I wriggled away and wiped the blood from my nose, glaring at Rouge. Rouge glared at me, in return._

"_Is this any way for two ladies to behave?", the baker asked._

"_That's sexist!", I spat._

"_Alright, that's quite enough, now", the officer stated and then turned to Rouge, "But you've just assaulted a child, young lady"_

"_Child?", Rouge screamed, "She's a fucking lunatic! And she's __**certainly **__no child!"_

"_By law she is", the police officer explained, "You could be charged for GBH"_

_I saw a flash of fear in Rouge's eyes. I so wanted her to get into trouble by the police, but I knew deep down it was my fault as much as hers._

"_It's okay, officer", I chipped in, "We just had a disagreement, that's all"_

"_But she hit you", he debated._

"_Trust me, no harm done", I sniffed and wiped at my nose and smiled, "and I'm actually older than how I look"_

"_Oh yeah", the officer replied, "How old are you?"_

"_Sixteen", I lied, "Seventeen next month, actually"_

_The police officer stared at me. I stared innocently back at him._

_The officer seemed to believe me._

"_Alright then", he muttered, "Just don't let me catch you two fighting again, do you hear me?"_

"_Yes", I answered. The police officer and the baker sloped off, leaving an awkward silence between me and Rouge. I nervously glanced at Rouge. We both tried to glare at one another… and then burst into a peal of giggles._

"_Oh, Amy", Rouge looked at me, "What have I __**done**__ to you?"_

"_It's okay", I replied, "Just a nosebleed"_

"_Amy", Rouge looked uncomfortable, "I'm sorry, babe. Look, want me to get you anything? Some tissues?"_

"_No, I'm okay", I reassured her, "Rouge… I'm sorry. You're right and I'm wrong. I'm just being paranoid"_

"_You're a good friend", Rouge told me. She paused and looked at the tanning salon down the road, "I'll try to beat this, Amy. You do realise that when you start an addiction, it's difficult to control and stop it. It's a bit like smoking"_

_I hadn't realised, but I had to see sense._

"_I'm going to stop, Amy, I promise", Rouge told me. She looked very serious. I breathed in slowly._

"_Sure thing", I answered. Rouge then hugged me gratefully._

"_Thanks for helping me out", she whispered. Rouge was saying all the right things, but only time would tell if she was telling the truth. _

_But Rouge is a strong person. I'm sure she can make a change if she really puts her mind to it._

_Yours,_

_Amy._

_

* * *

_

_Dear Diary,_

_She lied! She fucking lied! Shadow and I were in town, on our way to see a movie, when I saw Rouge coming out of the tanning salon. I couldn't believe her! Rouge had promised she would stop, and yet here she was emerging from yet another tanning session! I found myself ditching Shadow and marched straight towards Rouge. She saw me approaching and looked very uncomfortable._

"_Amy, I-I was just-", she began._

"_Stop it! Just… stop it!", I cried, "You promised that you would stop, but you lied to me!"_

"_I've tried, Amy", she told me, "I've really tried but it's been more difficult than I expected"_

"_Rouge!", I snapped, "You have a problem; a __**serious**__ problem and yet you're not tackling it like any other ordinary Mobian"_

"_Amy, what's up?", Shadow asked, catching up with me. He noticed Rouge's skin, "Whoa… what happened to your skin?"_

"_See?", I shouted at Rouge. Rouge then burst into tears. Shadow looked away uncomfortably whilst I put my arms around Rouge. She shuddered at my touch, tears and snot streaked on her face; a complete contrast to her personality._

"_I'm going to get you help", I promised her, "Everything's going to be okay, I promise"_

_Rouge didn't reply. She simply nodded. _

_We first took Rouge to see a doctor to examine her skin. Thankfully, there is no sign of Melanoma developing so far but Rouge is instructed to examine her skin frequently for any significant changes for the time being. Whilst we were leaving, I linked my arm around Rouge's. _

"_So what brought this on?", I asked, "Was there a main reason why you wanted a tan?"_

"_Well…", Rouge paused, "Okay, there was - or is - somebody I'm trying to impress so I thought that getting a tan would capture his attention"_

"_Really?", I asked, interested, "Who is it?"_

"_You wouldn't believe me", she muttered, blushing. Rouge __**blushing**__! It must have been serious. I knew she would be embarrassed enough trying to spell out which guy she liked, but I thought I'd save her the embarrassment and encouraged her._

"_It's Knuckles, isn't it?" I asked softly. Rouge's head jerked._

"_How did you know?", She asked._

"_Trust me,", I reassured her, "It's pretty obvious"_

"_It's just…", she paused. A single tear fell down her face, "I've tried being myself and flirting with him, but I always seem to infuriate him. I didn't know what else to do except make myself more noticeable…"_

"_Rouge, what are you talking about?", I spluttered, "Listen, if you had a beard, fair enough, but you have a body to __**die**__ for! Look at me; I'm still waiting for body parts to re-adjust themselves perfectly and my quills look boring… but you have all the right features to capture any guy's attention. If I'm plainly honest, Rouge, sometimes I actually wish I had your body so that I could turn a few heads around. You've got it all, Rouge, please remember that before you do any more damage to your skin"_

_Rouge gave me a wobbly smile._

"_Thanks", she whispered._

"_No problem", I replied, "And remember; Knuckles may be a douche the majority of the time, but he secretly has a heart of gold. I know that soon you'll catch his attention, I promise"_

"_Yeah, you're right", Rouge sniffed and wriggled her shoulders slightly, "Fancy going shopping later on this week? If I've got a she-devil's body, then I must flaunt it!"_

"_Great to see you're feeling better", I chuckled._

"_Yep, Rouge is __**back**__, baby!", she exclaimed, "And nobody can stop me now!"_

_

* * *

_

_Having an addiction can be very difficult for a Mobian. Indeed, if you had a crush on the hottest film star and talked about him/her non-stop, then that's an exception, but if you had an addiction that could endanger your health, regardless if it's smoking, drinking, or caffeine, then your body will have a harder time giving it up, which would affect your behaviour and personality as a result. This is what Rouge had learned through her tanning stage: She was in self-denial, claiming that she was doing the right thing. Yet, she was afraid; afraid to admit the truth about how dangerous sunbeds actually are, and afraid that her appearance would be seen as boring or insignificant if she didn't have a tan. Although it was very tricky for her to give up her addiction, with some help from her friends, Rouge had actually saved her own health from being corrupted from the risk of cancer. It's completely beyond me how other Mobians who use sunbeds __**see**__ the dangers of UV rays and skin cancer from newspaper articles, health-warning signs, and from Cancer-stricken Mobians themselves, and yet __**still **__ignore the dangers they're putting themselves in by continuing to tan themselves. If only they'd take simple safety precautions such as wearing sunscreen and restrict their use of sunbeds, then they'd make a huge difference in regards to their health and appearance._

_And, okay, it might take Rouge longer to accept her body the way it is without having to resolve to getting a tan but in the end, when somebody likes you, they don't __**care **__about what you look like, they care for your personality and how you communicate with them. It's true what they say: true beauty comes from inside of you, not from the outside. Hopefully other Mobians can learn from this and therefore help make our society better and not judge others from their looks. And even if things don't work out for Rouge in regards to Knuckles, she needs to be reminded that it's just a crush and that despite how awful she would feel if he's not interested in her, Rouge __**will **__move on and __**will**__ fall in love again and again. Rouge doesn't need her looks; she simply needs her self-confidence to help her cope with anything that life will throw at her. I know she'll be okay, because she __**is**__ a strong person at heart._

_Which reminds me, her birthday is coming up soon. I hope she has a good sense of humour when she discovers her present from me will be a can of natural Fake-Tan spray!_

_Yours,_

_Amy._


	17. Two's Company, Three's A Crowd

**Hey guys! Well, the results came in on the 15th March 2011 from the poll, and I would like to thank the few who contributed to the poll where they got to choose the theme explored in this chapter - Thank you! :D So, here it is! **

**Enjoy!**

**~Xoxomtmodnarxoxo**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Diary,_

_Today was possibly the scariest day I've ever had to endure. I phoned Shadow to meet up with him to grab a cup of coffee somewhere. When I asked to meet up with him, he seemed eager enough to see me._

_But that was just it. He never turned up. At all._

_Usually I'm not __**very**__ disappointed when Shadow has to change plans at the very last minute, but I couldn't help but feel that Shadow could have at least __**called**__ me instead of leaving me alone in the small café, slowly stirring my cup of tea._

_I'm lying. I wasn't exactly alone. I'm still not exactly alone, once I think about it._

_Allow me to explain._

_I'm so horrified with myself for allowing it to happen. I recall sitting in my bedroom last night with the small stick in my hand, the results so obvious and clear that it was difficult to mistaken them for something else. I prayed and prayed and prayed for the obvious to turn out to be something else. I sat and stared hard at the lines on the small screen, my mind screaming, "__**No, it couldn't be**__…"_

_It was. It __**is**__._

_Oh, dear diary… the results came back positive._

_I'm pregnant. With Shadow's child._

_It's hard to believe that there is a tiny organism in my stomach, growing at a rapid speed as every minute goes by. In a sense, it's an amazing feeling. On the other hand it's __**extremely**__ terrifying. It's not that I'm unhappy to be carrying his child, I just didn't expect things to turn out this way! Then again, who would? I panicked after my results appeared, for I didn't know how Shadow would react to such news. Honestly, it would be totally unreal if I skipped up to him and said something like, "Hey, Shadow! Guess what! I'm knocked up!"_

_In addition, Shadow just doesn't __**seem**__ to be the sort of Mobian who would make a great father - no offence to him, whatsoever. Though, seriously, could you, yourself, imagine Shadow being a dad, a __**father**__…?_

_Funny thing, isn't it? Neither could I…_

_Which was why I had to break the news to him face-to-face over a hot drink. I sat in the small café with my small cup of tea, imagining the worst to occur when I would tell Shadow the truth, each possibility running through my mind: Shadow swearing, Shadow running off, Shadow breaking up with me, Shadow forcing me to abort the baby…_

_I breathed out. Surely he wouldn't be as harsh at that! I told myself that regardless of what he would say, I would keep the baby and love and cherish it for ever and ever…_

_Or would I? Even though I've promised myself firmly that I would look after the baby, I'm beginning to doubt myself. I know that deep down that even __**I**__ don't want the baby, either. It's not the baby's fault that it's being created._

_It's not my fault, either._

_Yes, it is._

_I should have been more careful. I knew what to expect at first. And, yet, during the heat of the moment… I simply… forgot. You know it. I know it. I'm underage, but then again, so is Shadow. I think. I hope. Otherwise he would have broken the law. And then what? Shadow would be arrested, whereas I would probably have to bring the baby up on my own._

_Then again, I don't have to. I could easily… terminate it. Or would I be like my own mother and not care about my own child?_

_So, Shadow didn't appear after all. I waited, and waited, and waited. Time went by very slowly. After what seemed like an hour, I finally gave in and sloped back to Cream's house., trying very hard not to cry. I told myself that I had to be strong, that I was getting my wires crossed. Shadow not turning up didn't exactly mean that he didn't care about this baby; he was simply busy doing something else or that he had to fight off powerful enemies - there's rumours circulating about dark aliens out in space that are trying to destroy Mobius - or perhaps he just couldn't make it at all that day, or perhaps he didn't feel well…_

_Or perhaps Shadow sussed out what I wanted to talk to him about and ran away the first chance he got…_

_Everything in my body seemed to deliberately ache as I trudged back to Cream's; as though my body was deliberately reminding me of the predicament that I was in, in the most unappealing manner possible. The tea stirred in my stomach, and I suddenly fought the urge to vomit right there and then. I groaned, swallowed anxiously and clutched my stomach._

"_Don't tell me you hate tea!", I muttered to myself madly. It seems terribly unfair that not only am I pregnant, but the fact that it seems as though my growing child will be nothing like me when it grows and develops into it's own individual being. Honestly, I can't even have a cup of tea, for fuck's sake!_

"_Who are you talking to?", a voice suddenly asked me. I looked up to find Sonic suddenly beside me. I felt faint. __**Not here… not now…**__, I prayed in my head. I felt faint. My heart began to beat with fear. If I told him that I am expecting Shadow's child, Sonic would most DEFINITELY say plenty about it. I could only imagine what he would say. In fact, he still doesn't know. I had to somehow convince him at that moment of time that I was perfectly fine._

"_I'm fine!", I practically sang, and I added a tiny skip to my footstep for good measure. Sonic didn't look convinced._

"_You look pale", he commented unnecessarily. Bastard._

"_Really?", I asked, feigning ignorance, "I haven't noticed!"_

"_Uh-huh", Sonic replied, "Sure… but who were you talking to?"_

"… _Myself", I answered madly, feeling my cheeks burn with embarrassment. Sonic looked at me as if I was crazy._

"_Come on, don't lie", he persisted, "Tell me"_

"_No, really", I insisted, "I was talking to myself"_

_Honestly, why couldn't Sonic take the hint?_

"_So you were talking to yourself for absolutely no reason whatsoever?", he asked, in a bemused tone of voice. I felt like kicking him. Now he was mocking me. I flicked my fringe out of my eyes and shrugged confidently._

"_Actually it's psychologically proven that talking to yourself is a good sign of sanity", I argued, "And besides, it's none of your business who I was really talking to, so there!"_

"_And it's nothing important?", Sonic asked. _

"_No!", I protested a little too suspiciously. Sonic peered at me._

"_Then surely you can tell me", he coaxed me, "It's Shadow, isn't it? What did he do this time? Is he being a complete asshole. Because if he's hurt you in any-"_

"_What is __**with**__ you?", I snapped angrily at him. Sonic jumped slightly as if I'd shot a pellet at him. He looked shocked and a bit hurt by my comeback, but I continued anyway, "You're, like, so obsessed about me dating Shadow. When will you ever accept that this is the way things are just now? What is your __**problem**__?"_

_Sonic didn't answer me. I continued._

"_You know what you're problem is?", I demanded, "You can't handle the fact that I love somebody else that __**isn't**__ you! And as a result, your ego has been badly affected-"_

"_Well… ya got me there", he mumbled._

"_Aw, poor you", I snorted sarcastically, "You may seem cool to others, but you seriously need to get a life! You just can't keep trying to break me and Shadow up, it's seriously creepy, so stop going around and trying to ruin my life because you're seriously not getting anywhere! If you have something to say, say it to my __**face**__. __**Stop**__**interfering**__!"_

_Before Sonic could react, I immediately marched away from him, refusing to look at him. I expected Sonic to use his speed to outrun me or to stop me from going any further away from him, to convince me otherwise, to somehow persuade me to forgive him. He didn't. I was on my own._

_No. I wasn't. At least, I wasn't when I eventually stormed into Cream's house. It was only Vanilla who was in the lounge, ironing some clothes. She smiled at me lovingly. It tore me up inside that I had completely destroyed her trust and she did not know at all. At that moment of time, to Vanilla, I am still the lovely, young, teenage hedgehog with a bright future in front of her. Vanilla had absolutely no idea that my future has arrived in the worst possible way, and that it __**certainly**__ isn't bright._

_I wanted to burst into tears. Vanilla couldn't help but notice this._

"_Amy", she soothed, "It's lovely to see you back so early, but you didn't have to return home until later on, dear"_

"_I know, I know", I mumbled foolishly, slumping onto her sofa. Vanilla abandoned her ironing and joined me._

"_So what's wrong?", she asked softly, "Was Shadow being mean to you? Was there a fight, dear?"_

_Oh, Vanilla, your hospitality was killing me._

"_There wasn't a fight, Vanilla", I whimpered, "Shadow didn't even appear at the café!"_

"_Oh, sweetheart", Vanilla soothed, "Don't take it to heart too much. Lots of girls will have gone through the same thing. Even __**I've **__been let down by a guy, but I don't let it get me down at all! I'm sure Shadow has his reasons for not showing up-"_

"_It's not that I'm upset about!", I chipped in. Vanilla stared at me, stunned._

"_Then what is it then?", she asked curiously. I took a deep, wobbly breath. I felt hot tears forming in my eyes. I peered at Vanilla, grabbing her hands, my fingers digging into her gloves._

"_Please, please, __**please**__ don't be cross with me, Vanilla!", I pleaded. Vanilla laughed softly._

"_Oh, Amy", she giggled, "Since when have I ever been cross with you? You know you can tell me anything, dear"_

_I swallowed the saliva in my mouth nervously._

"_So… what is it, Amy?", Vanilla asked. My eyesight travelled towards the carpet on the floors surrounding us._

"… _I'm pregnant", I whispered._

"_Sorry?", Vanilla asked._

"_I'm pregnant", I repeated in a louder tone of voice, "With Shadow's baby"_

_Vanilla didn't look at me. She grew very silent and stared at the coffee table near us. She didn't say anything for a long time. Then again, neither did I. I watched her actions carefully and then finally found the courage to raise my voice._

"_Vanilla?", I croaked softly, "Vanilla? Please… please say something"_

_There was a brief pause. Vanilla eventually broke it._

"_That's just it", she whispered hoarsely, "I don't know what to say"_

"_Well…", I pondered slightly, "You could offer me some advice on what to do… that would be useful for me"_

_I was trying to make it easier for Vanilla, but as I said this she hid her face in her hands and began to cry softly. I fidgeted but eventually put one hand on her shuddering shoulder._

"_Vanilla", I whispered, "It's okay, I mean, it's not as if __**you're **__pregnant. But I am. And I'm lost, a-and I'm scared, a-and I-I don't know what to expect-"_

"_Did you do this to hurt me?", Vanilla suddenly asked, pulling her head away from her hands, peering at me through her tears, "To hurt us?"_

"_What do you mean?", I dared ask._

"_We've done so much to help you get back onto your feet", Vanilla's face crumpled, "And __**this**__ is how you repay us?"_

"_I… I thought you would be supportive", I continued stupidly, "I thought you'd help me through this"_

"_If you were at least twenty years old", Vanilla commented, "But you're still a child-"_

"_But I'm thirteen", I pointed out. I then had an instant memory of my thirteenth birthday a few months earlier, where everybody met up with me and Shadow to have a potluck picnic in the Green Hills. We were all so young, cheerful, and vulnerable then. I had the sudden urge to travel back in time in order to re-live my thirteenth birthday party. In fact, I felt I was almost there if I closed my eyes tightly and fully focussed my mind on it. Unfortunately, Vanilla made it even more difficult to do so as she continued talking._

"_Yes, and even at that age you can barely even look after a hamster, let alone a baby!", Vanilla snapped angrily, "Honestly, Amy! You silly, __**silly**__ girl! Do you honestly have __**any **__idea what you've gotten yourself into?"_

"_Surely it can't be __**that**__ bad?", I piped up, "I mean, I'm sure I can cope with being a parent-"_

"_No, you __**can't**__", Vanilla protested, "You may think you're mature enough to handle such a task, but believe you me, you will __**never**__ be able to take care of a child by yourself!"_

"_I won't __**be**__ on my own!", I protested, "I'll have Shadow beside me the entire time!"_

"_Amy", Vanilla grabbed my shoulders firmly and forced me to look at her. I began to feel quite scared, "Shadow wouldn't even meet up with you for a cup of coffee! Wake up and __**smell**__ the coffee! Shadow certainly __**won't**__ be around to provide you with support! He's too unreliable!"_

"_How dare you!", I shouted._

"_I do dare!", Vanilla shouted back, "No, how dare __**you**__ do this to us! After everything we've done for you! Didn't you use protection?"_

"_I didn't think-"_

"_You didn't think to even use any! Well, that's just perfect! I thought you had better sense, Amy!"_

"_I __**am **__responsible! I'm thirteen, for fuck's sake!"_

"_But by law you're still a child!", Vanilla screamed back, practically tearing her fur out, "Oh, just you wait! I'm going to phone the police and report Shadow. How __**could**__ he do this to you?"_

"_If you even __**think**__ about reporting Shadow, I will __**kill **__you", I warned her in a low, stern voice. Vanilla wavered slightly, horrified by my reaction. I was slightly horrified myself, but I was so angry with her that I didn't care so much, "This is __**my **__problem, Vanilla, __**my**__ problem! You keep acting as if this will affect you in any way!"_

"_Oh, but it __**will**__, Amy!", Vanilla shouted, "Since the social services have made me your legal guardian, __**I'm**__ going to be the poor idiot who will have to look after you and support you! And the word 'poor' sums it up perfectly!"_

"_Well, if you think you're so smart, then why don't you tell me what __**you**__ would do!", I screamed back. Vanilla glared at me, regaining her breath through her small nostrils. Honestly, I hate it when she does that; Vanilla ends up looking like a horse in the end where as a result I don't take her seriously, especially when she's __**very**__ angry._

"_I would have it taken care of", she answered firmly. I relaxed slightly._

"_Do you mean put it into care?", I asked._

"_No", Vanilla replied sternly, "I mean have it '__**taken care of**__'"_

_My eyes widened._

"_You don't mean…?", I whispered._

"_Yes", she answered, "Have it terminated"_

"_But I…", I paused, "But…"_

"_If you were about twenty years old, then fair enough, I would let you choose for yourself, but you're still a child, Amy, and as your legal guardian I'll have to make the right decisions for you"_

"_B-but… that's not fair!"_

"_Yes, it is, Amy", Vanilla continued, "Having a baby is a great responsibility. A baby requires love and attention every hour throughout the day; it needs to feel safe and __**wanted**__. Do you think it's fair for a baby to be born to a mother who wouldn't know how to look after it properly?"_

_I didn't answer her._

"_**Do**__ you?", Vanilla persisted. I shook my head slightly._

"_And if you have babies at a very young age, then the chances of the baby being born with Downs Syndrome will increase as a result. Do you think __**that's**__ fair?"_

"_Mm"_

"_Amy", Vanilla had calmed down slightly by now, "You're still very young. You should be making the most of your teenage years and not try to grow up too quickly. That way you'll miss out on your childhood and you'd regret that in years to come. I just don't want to see you get hurt, don't you see that?"_

"_Mm", I did, but I didn't want to. I simply wanted to hate Vanilla more. Vanilla paused and then looked at me significantly._

"_How did you find out?", she suddenly asked._

"_What?"_

"_I mean, how did you find out that you're pregnant?"_

"_I took a test"_

"_Several?"_

"_No, just one"_

_Vanilla's eyes suddenly sparkled._

"_There may be a chance…", she muttered to herself and then shook her head, "Get to your room, Amy, we'll discuss this later"_

"_But-"_

"_**Now**__", Vanilla ordered firmly. I found myself doing what she told me to do. As I scrambled up the stairs, I felt tears streaming down my face. It wasn't __**fair**__. My friends were suppose to be there for me and provide me with the support I needed, like when I was there to help __**them**__. Instead, it looked as though everyone was against me and the majority of my friends didn't even know about the pregnancy! It feels as though the entire planet Mobius is against me. I'm on my own. And it's terrifying. Everybody hates me._

_Especially Vanilla. I couldn't believe her sudden change in personality. I'd always imagined Vanilla being like one of those mothers from the TV programmes where they are loving and supporting and insist on helping their teenage daughters with their pregnancies. Only that's just it. I'm not Vanilla's daughter. I'm simply her foster child, and I know perfectly well she can easily get rid of me, as quick as lightning._

_I don't know what time I eventually fell asleep, but I suddenly awoke around three this morning, which is why I'm writing now. I don't know what to think, how to feel. All I know is that my days, as well as my baby's, are numbered. I only feel numb inside._

_Dear God, what am I going to __**do**__?_

_Yours,_

_Amy._

_

* * *

_

_Dearest Diary,_

_It's over. It's all over. I was in my room listening to my iPod loudly when all of a sudden Vanilla appeared at my door._

"_Get your jacket, dear", she informed me._

"_Why?", I asked curiously, pulling my earphones out._

"_We're going to see a doctor", Vanilla replied. I wanted to vomit. Vanilla certainly wasn't kidding when she told me she wanted the baby '__**taken care of**__'. I suddenly felt afraid, unaware of what an abortion consisted of, procedure-wise. Would I become permanently disabled? Would I be able to have any children in years to come? Would I __**die**__?_

_I scrambled off of my bed and scuttled towards Vanilla._

"_Vanilla, this is __**murder**__!", I protested. _

"_It's the right thing to do", was my answer._

"_I can't just do this!", I shouted, "What am I to expect?"_

"_It's better than having to endure the pregnancy all by yourself and becoming an underage mother", Vanilla pointed out. I blushed heavily, but she was only saying aloud what I was secretly thinking._

"_I want you to be ready to leave in five minutes", she pointed out softly and left me to get ready. I stared at her back and then slowly distracted myself by going to my mirror. I stared hard at my reflection, taking in all my features. I pictured myself with a huge, round stomach, bigger thighs, bigger breasts, and a bloated face. I then pictured myself exhausted, thin, and depressed with a whining toddler hedgehog at my feet, grizzling and throwing tantrums, constantly craving my attention._

"_I'm not ready for this", I found myself saying, "Vanilla's right, I'm not ready to be a mother yet. I'm way too young. I need __**help**__!"_

_My reflection stared helplessly back at me, refusing to answer._

"_What am I to __**do**__?", I demanded, "What is the right option?"_

_My reflection still refused to respond. It didn't know any better than what I did. I sighed impatiently and then peered down at my flat stomach._

"_I hate you!", I hissed at my stomach, "You've ruined everything in my life! Why have I been so stupid?"_

"_We… can't force you to make a decision, Amy", Vanilla suddenly piped up from behind me. I blushed, knowing she had caught me talking to myself, "It's entirely up to you what you want to do with your baby. All I'm suggesting is that we take you to see a professional doctor who will examine you and then we'll let you decide on what to do next"_

"_Promise?", I sniffled. I began to feel hopeful. Perhaps Vanilla had had a change of heart._

"_I promise", Vanilla agreed._

_

* * *

_

_**Later:** The doctor's was Hell. I completely and utterly hated him, for a start. The minute I stepped into his office, he peered at me in a disgusting manner as though I had two heads or something. Also, his office had a very strange smell that made my stomach churn if I inhaled deeply enough. The procedure, thirdly, was completely embarrassing. I had to remove my jeans and underwear in order for him to examine me properly. I absolutely __**hated **__the feeling of his latex gloves, and although I protested bitterly, he refused to listen to me and carried on. I can't even explain how disgusted and violated I felt whilst he did this to me. It was beyond unbearable. Then, he made me lie back whilst he put this cold gel on my stomach. I swear, if I didn't know any better I could have sworn this doctor was a pervert. Thank God for Vanilla, who sat by me and held onto my left shoulder during the entire examination._

"_You girls", the doctor commented, "What do they __**teach**__ you in school nowadays? Surely you have Sex Education classes running in Middle School?"_

"_For your information", I snapped angrily, "I left school when I was twelve!"_

"_Well", the doctor commented, "That explains a lot, really"_

"_What did you just say?", I demanded. Vanilla's hand gently squeezed me left shoulder, reassuring me._

"_I'm just saying, young people are all the same nowadays; they never to stop to think about the consequences they're putting themselves into, they just __**do**__", the doctor shook his head, "It's just scandalous. If only we lived in simpler times such as the Fifties, where moral standards were high and young people weren't sexually active until they were in their late twenties. That way underage pregnancies were kept to a minimum"_

_He sat up and manoeuvred himself by my side and placed a piece of equipment attached to a cord from another machine onto my stomach, on top of the gel._

"_Well, let's see the damage here", he muttered and pressed onto my stomach softly with the small piece of equipment. There was a small television that suddenly produced a scan inside my stomach on the small screen. I stared at it helplessly. I couldn't believe that I was actually watching this scan. I suddenly longed to see what my baby would look like, being a few months old. Would it look like me? Would it be an identical of Shadow?_

_The doctor slowly traced the equipment over my stomach in various directions, watching the screen for any telltale signs. He then frowned._

"_I don't see a heartbeat", he commented. My eyes widened. Vanilla's grip on my shoulder tightened slightly. The doctor re-examined my stomach and then left the room. Vanilla and I remained very still, awaiting the results. The doctor then reappeared with another doctor, and they both examined the scans together._

_Minutes passed. Both doctors muttered between themselves._

"_Well", Vanilla began, "What are the results, doctor?"_

_The doctor peered at Vanilla and then glared at me._

"_Why don't you stop wasting our time and just go home?", he asked, infuriated._

"_I beg your pardon?", Vanilla demanded, "And what exactly did you mean by that?"_

"_There are no signs of a foetus growing in this girl's stomach, nor are there signs of a possible miscarriage that might have taken place", the doctor folded his arms, "My diagnosis is that this girl isn't even pregnant. There is no proof that there is a foetus developing in her stomach"_

"_B-but the pregnancy test!", I protested, "It came up positive!"_

"_Then I suggest you take several tests before coming into my office. Now, please leave now, I need to see my next client", he concluded. The doctor then dismissed us, preparing for his next client._

_Vanilla didn't say anything, however it didn't stop her from marching me to the pharmacy to buy several pregnancy tests. Then we went home and placed each test into a line on the coffee table. Vanilla made me drink what seemed like endless cups of water until I was desperate to use the toilet over and over again. Each time I went to the toilet, I had to take a test. When I eventually had taken each and every test, I was sick at even looking at the wretched toilet let alone using it. I then joined Vanilla in the lounge, each test placed carefully on the table so that the result screens were hidden from our point of view. We sat, silent, staring at the tests. Vanilla eventually cleared her throat._

"_Well", she croaked, "Shall we?"_

_I nodded, but before we could move, Cream burst into the lounge with Cheese, bubbling with happiness._

"_Hi Mamma!", she exclaimed, "Hi Amy! What are you doing?"_

"_Nothing", I replied quickly, shielding the tests with my arms foolishly. Cream looked at the different sticks and frowned._

"_What are they?", she asked curiously._

"_**Nothing**__", I insisted, "Go __**away**__, Cream!"_

"_It's my house, too", she protested. She then saw the words 'pregnancy test' printed on one of the sticks, advertising the company. Her eyes widened. A smile grew on her face._

"_Oh, Mamma!", she exclaimed happily, "Are you going to have a baby?"_

"_No!", Vanilla protested, "Cream, please go to your room!"_

"_But-"_

"_**NOW**__", Vanilla ordered. Cream scuttled away with Cheese, looking quite hurt. I felt bad for Cream, but it couldn't be helped; she __**was**__ getting in the way. I then sat back and once again stared at the pile of tests on the table. I gingerly picked one up, held my breath, and slowly turned the test round, my eyes focussing on the small digital screen. I then stared at it again with disbelief. On the small digital screen was the word '_**Negative**_'. I then quickly reached out for a different test. On the small screen was a sad face, indicating that I wasn't pregnant. I picked up another one. The words '_**Not pregnant**_' were printed on the small screen. I opened and closed my mouth with disbelief. Vanilla watched me curiously, and then picked up a few tests herself and stared at them. Each test appeared negative. After a short period of time, we slowly caught one another's gaze. We then giggled foolishly._

_I wasn't pregnant. I'm not pregnant._

_Then the obvious dawned on me._

"_But I don't understand!", I protested, "The test I took was positive! How could this have happened, Vanilla?"_

"_Where did you buy your pregnancy test, Amy?", Vanilla asked._

"_In a dollar market", I answered back. After all, I don't have a lot of money for myself, so going to a supermarket where everything is a dollar seemed like my only option. _

_Vanilla then burst into a peal of giggles, despite of everything._

"_Now, Amy", she told me as calmly as she could, "Don't kick yourself, but I think you had taken a pregnancy test that was faulty. And no __**wonder**__, buying it from a dollar market!"_

"_Is… is that even __**possible**__?", I asked with disbelief. _

"_Oh yes, you can still get faulty pregnancy tests nowadays", Vanilla breathed out, "But it's official; all these tests have confirmed it. You're not pregnant"_

_It was, and still is, a tremendous relief. Yet at the same time, it's slightly disappointing. In a sense, at the time, a tiny part of me was actually looking forward to having my own baby to love and care for. However, in the end Vanilla was right; I __**am**__ still a child, and I would have struggled on my own. I probably __**would**__ have ended up putting the baby into care for a foster family to adopt it._

"_But you have to promise me something, Amy", Vanilla told me firmly, "You must promise me that you'll never scare me like that __**ever**__ again! And for God's sake, use protection the next time, okay?"_

"… _I promise", I whispered and hugged Vanilla tightly. And I meant it, too._

_

* * *

_

_Pregnancy can be a beautiful thing, but it can be terrifying at the same time; especially for young girls. Babies are very hard work, and they constantly crave love and attention twenty-four hours a day. You can't leave a baby alone, even for a second, no matter how badly you actually want to. And despite the stereotypical teenage girls you see on television nowadays where they have support provided for them from their loving families and friends and boyfriends, young girls including myself have to keep reminding ourselves that it __**certainly**__ isn't like that in reality: they end up getting fat, they end up with no money whatsoever, their boyfriends end up leaving them the majority of the time when a pregnancy is announced, they __**certainly**__ don't bloom as far as appearances are concerned, and sometimes girls don't receive the loving support they deserve from their families. Sometimes girls are actually thrown out of their homes and expected to support themselves and their babies by living in hostels or hotels. As a result, girls are better off being careful whilst having sex with their boyfriends and do anything they can to prevent themselves from falling pregnant. I'm actually quite lucky, considering. It could have been a __**lot **__worse. Therefore, protection __**is **__important, and couples shouldn't just take advantage of the resources they have to have safe sex; the resources are there for a __**reason**__. _

_Young, pregnant girls may think they know best, being mothers themselves, but they really don't. They still require support from loved ones and from society. Young teenage mothers really can't cope on their own._

_And even if some girls are lucky enough to have their boyfriends propose marriage to them for the sake of their baby, teenage marriage can be very difficult, too, as it certainly isn't picture perfect: the majority of the time the boyfriends end up leaving their pregnant girlfriends in order to have a relationship with somebody else, or they leave simply because they aren't able to cope with being a father. _

_When young girls realise this, only they can decide if they are actually ready to become mothers. Nobody can force them; it's entirely up to them what they want to do with their lives._

_Perhaps that's why Shadow didn't appear for coffee the other day. Perhaps he somehow had a feeling that something like this was going to happen and decided to leave me at the first opportunity. Or perhaps he's injured and unconscious somewhere without my knowing. Perhaps he's __**dead**__…_

_I'm going to give him until tomorrow to call me. If he doesn't, then I'll know something is __**definitely**__ wrong._

_Yours,_

_Amy._


	18. A Fast Reputation

**Hey guys! Here's the long-awaited chapter 18! Yay!**

**Now, as a few of you may recall back in early March, I had sent a few PMs to a number of my frequent readers, asking them for any ideas for the theme behind this chapter, so credit for ideas go to MoonLitSky262 and Sensitive girl! *Applause* Thank you so much for your contribution, and I'm so sorry that I haven't been able to update the fic sooner!**

**~Xoxomtmodnarxoxo**

* * *

_Dear diary,_

_Just when I thought my life couldn't get any worse, I decided to go and see where Shadow had went to. My first instinct was to go to his apartment. Shadow's apartment is __**amazing**__ because it has a beautiful view of the city from the eighth floor, where you can literally press yourself into the window panes of the main living room and spy on the tiny dots on the ground down below that are Mobians, or you can stare outwards into the horizon and pretend for one mad moment that you are flying in the sky…_

_Regardless, since he didn't call me back, I had decided to see what was wrong with him. At first, I assumed that he was simply ill, but then again, wouldn't he have at least phoned to let me know, or at least sent me a message? Surely it isn't __**that**__ difficult?_

_A sudden thought came to me when I reached his front door. Maybe I was simply overreacting; it had been four days since my pregnancy scare, after all. Maybe I was being too clingy. I dithered on the spot, my heart beating rapidly. __**Did**__ Shadow find me clingy? Is that why he hadn't bothered to contact me? Perhaps he simply needed space…?_

_I held my breath. __**Was Shadow having a secret affair…?**_

_I couldn't wait a minute longer. I knocked on his door._

"_Shadow?", I called out, "Are you in?"_

_There was no reply. My conscience urged me not to do it, but I found myself dislodging the spare key from inside a plant pod near his door, unlocking the door, reaching out to the handle, grasping it, and opening the front door._

_**This is a violation of his privacy, Amy, stop it!**__, my mind screamed, but once I was inside, I couldn't stop myself from tip-toeing into his apartment. I breathed out, wondering where to look first. In the end I searched throughout the entire apartment, only to find it empty. For one scary second I assumed Shadow had run away for good._

_**Oh, don't be stupid, Amy. He's probably just out for a run!**__, I tried to convince myself. Then another theory came to mind; Shadow __**did**__ go out running from time to time, but not as often as Sonic. The majority of the time he kept to himself inside his apartment to spend time with me. And if he did run away for good, why would he leave all of his possessions behind? Unless… it was __**deliberate**__…?_

_I searched through his entire apartment once more, only to find it exactly the same as before. However, when I went into the kitchen for the second time, I saw something propped up against the toaster. An envelope. Addressed to me._

_Holding my breath, I reached out to it and carefully picked the envelope up. I then gingerly opened the envelope, trying very hard not to tear the contents inside. Once the letter had been slipped out of the envelope, I opened it up, smoothed it out and read the words on the piece of paper:_

Amy,

I brought you happiness by being there for you when you needed comfort the most, and you brought happiness into my life where you had taught me that if you loved someone dearly, you would respect them and do anything for them. Which is why I have to leave. It may seem ridiculous to you, but I made a promise to Maria that I would do anything to be with her again, and I intend to keep that promise. I hope that you understand. I don't know when I'll return, or if I ever will return for that matter, so please promise me that you'll continue your life and live your life to the fullest. Don't' worry about me, I will be fine. Again, I hope you understand, Amy. I love you, but not as much as I loved Maria.

Don't come looking for me. I'm sorry.

Shadow x.

… _I couldn't believe it. I really couldn't. Before I knew it, I was crumbling the note in my hands as angry tears formed in my eyes._

"_He doesn't love me, yet he doesn't want to hurt my feelings at the same time?", I whimpered. I suddenly felt envious, demanding to know, mentally, what was so special about this blessed Maria in comparison to myself: I'm pretty. I'm outgoing if not a little bit neurotic. I'm the one who had made Shadow happy again. He said that I brought him happiness. He said that I was unique and that nobody could ever replace me. He said he loved me. He __**SAID**__ so! So what the fuck was I doing wrong? I ransacked through my memories, trying to remember any details Shadow had told me about Maria. From what I recall, I remember Shadow telling me that Maria was human, she had blue eyes, and long, blonde hair. I thought about my pink, shoulder-length quills, my jade eyes, and babyish, round face. I suddenly loathed myself even more._

"_So", I struggled, "Shadow prefers blondes with perfect hair, perfect eyes, and perfect figures, then", I swallowed with difficulty, "Well. Fine, then. Fine"_

_But it wasn't fine. At all. I knew right there and then that I had been dumped. I slowly turned round and silently left Shadow's apartment. I promised that I wouldn't burst into tears or create a scene whilst I made my way back to Vanilla's house, but do you honestly know how difficult is actually is to remain calm when you've just been dumped by your boyfriend? I felt like turning into Godzilla and tearing Mobius apart. But I couldn't; I had to show Shadow that I am a mature, understanding Mobian deep down - I couldn't let a boyfriend destroy my confidence!_

_But that's just it. Shadow breaking up with me __**has**__ destroyed my confidence to a great extent. Shadow was always there for me when I needed him the most; he was like my best male friend… and he broke up with me. I lost my virginity to him, for God's sake! I felt used, dirty even. I was no longer a sweet, innocent girl. At that moment of time, I was Amy Rose; a filthy whore who had allowed her boyfriend to take advantage of her. As I barged past the crowds within the streets back to Vanilla's house, I could feel everybodys' eyes staring at me accusingly. Okay, they weren't actually making it obvious by pointing at me or laughing right into my face, but I could have sworn that I heard laughter and giggles escaping from their mouths, even if they're mouths were shut or if they were ignoring me by walking straight past me. I was beginning to wonder if I was losing my sanity. I began to feel more insecure than before, as though I was being smothered by judgemental Mobians. By the time I had reached Cream's house, I found that my heart was beating rapidly, I was struggling to breathe, my forehead drenched in sweat, tears forming in my eyes. I clawed at my arms desperately, enough to encourage blood to flow from the fresh wounds. I attempted to stop but I couldn't. I continued to scratch mercilessly until my arms had red blotches forming on the surface of my skin. I had to stop or I'd ruin my skin, but I somehow couldn't. Scratching my arms created a sense of relief, reassuring me that __**I **__was in control. Nobody else. Just me._

_I didn't even notice that I was inside Cream's house until I heard Vanilla ask out loud, "Amy, are you okay? What have you done to your arms?"_

_I jumped out of my thoughts and stared at Vanilla. Vanilla waited for my explanation._

"_I'm just… scratching", I wheezed, trying to regain my breath. Vanilla grabbed a hold of my shoulders and massaged them._

"_Amy?", she asked, "It's okay. It's alright. I'm here. Now do what I say. Take a deep breath in… and out"_

_I breathed in deeply, and slowly exhaled._

"_Good", Vanilla said, "And again. Breathe in… and out"_

_In my opinion, I wanted to push Vanilla away, but her advice had actually helped me regain my breath. My heart rate had reduced to it's normal state. I could __**breathe **__again._

"_My God!", Vanilla exclaimed, "What was that?"_

"_I-I don't know!", I admitted, "I was fine one minute and then I couldn't breathe and my heart was going crazy and I was… I was…"_

"_It's okay, Amy", Vanilla pulled me close and put her arms around me. I cuddled into her and breathed in her sweet smell, "You've just had a panic attack, and they're perfectly natural. Now, are you going to tell me what it was about?"_

"_I-I can't remember", I lied._

"_It must have been something serious for you to scratch your arms like this!", Vanilla inspected my wounds._

"_M-my arms were just itchy, that's all", I insisted, "I was just scratching"_

"_More like self-harming!", Vanilla exclaimed and rushed into the kitchen, only to return with bandages and skin cream. I had no choice but to let her treat my skin. She sat me down and applied a sufficient amount of cream onto my arms. Even though I found scratching my arms rather sensual, the skin cream was a great relief. I found myself enjoying the sensation from the cream that took the irritation away from the wounds. I closed my eyes in bliss. However, when I reopened them, I found Vanilla staring at me expectedly._

"_First we had that pregnancy scare, and now this!", she remarked, "Care to explain yourself?"_

"_I'm fine", I replied, but I felt my face crumbling with emotion. I immediately wrapped my arms around Vanilla's neck and began to cry earnestly. _

"_Oh, Amy", she replied softly, "Come on, you tell me all about it"_

_When I had eventually told her everything, Vanilla shook her head as she wrapped my arms in bandages._

"_Typical men!", she snapped, "Oh, Amy. If only there was some way I could cheer you up"_

"_I don't __**need **__cheering up!", I snapped, "This is exactly what I need. I need a fresh start. Besides, I was going to break up with Shadow, anyway"_

"_Uh-huh", Vanilla replied, looking doubtful. It was obvious that she didn't believe me. In all honesty, I didn't even believe myself. But I had to convince her, otherwise she would assume that I had gone crazy._

"_No, really", I insisted and stood up, "I'm fucking sick of men! I'm completely and utterly sick of them! Why should I have to deal with their antics when I could enjoy life as a spinster?"_

"_Ah, well, Amy-", Vanilla began before I cut her off._

"_That's it. I'll just stay single for the time being. Yeah, I was feeling smothered, anyway", I continued, as I left Vanilla and made my way towards the staircase. As I reached the banister, I looked behind me and smiled at Vanilla._

"_You're now looking at the new and improved Amy Rose", I reassured her, "Amy Rose who is thriving, sassy, and confident with herself and her love life. I'm __**not **__going to let some pathetic hedgehog have control over my life!"_

"_Amy, are you sure you're okay?", Vanilla asked me softly, as I began to make my way up the staircase. I paused. I hesitated, but then I found my voice._

"_Don't be silly, Vanilla!", I exclaimed, not looking at her, "Of __**course**__ I'm okay!", but as I uttered those words, I found tears streaming down my face. I wasn't sure if I had convinced Vanilla, for I __**certainly**__ didn't even convince myself. I ran into my room, shut the door fiercely behind me and collapsed onto my bed. I hid my face into my pillow, preparing myself for the tears of self-pity and despair to follow for the remainder of the evening._

_But do not fear for me, my dear diary, I'm sure that after a severe crying session I will feel like myself once more, for crying about something does ease the pain and makes you feel better. However, I'm not sure if this applies to me._

_Yours,_

_Amy the spinster._

* * *

_Dear Diary, _

_Today, in my opinion, was the most __**humiliating **__day that I've ever had to endure. I had decided to go for a walk on my own to clear my mind, only to bump into Sonic unexpectedly. I thought he was going to snap sarcastically at me like I had done to him for the past couple of weeks, and in all honesty I wouldn't have blamed him. I was wrong. Instead he gave me a reassuring smile._

"_Hey, Amy!", he announced, "Everything okay?"_

"_What?", I asked, dazed, and then the realisation hit me, "Oh, yeah. Everything's fine"_

"_Good!", Sonic replied and gave me his famous thumbs-up gesture, "Where's Shadow today?"_

"_Oh", my smile vanished, "I… I don't know"_

"_Ah, taking a small break from him, yeah?"_

"_Actually", I breathed in, "We broke up. Good riddance, too"_

"_Really?", Sonic asked, looking concerned, "What happened between you two?"_

_I knew that if I uttered the words 'Shadow dumped me because he loves somebody else' I would automatically burst into tears. I attempted a different approach._

"_It turns out he just wasn't that into me", I told him, "It was just as well, too. I was getting bored with him"_

"_Aw, jeez, Amy", Sonic sympathised, "I'm really sorry to hear that. I thought you and Shadow looked like a great couple!"_

"_Yeah, well…", I muttered and looked at Sonic properly, into his eyes. All of a sudden, I was in awe with his gorgeous eyes. I wanted to hate all men, but I couldn't help it. I really couldn't. It amazed me of how I was able to resist Sonic's charming nature for the past couple of months. I found myself more attracted to Sonic than ever before. Sonic seemed to notice this as he hesitated and stepped back slightly._

"_So…", he piped up, "What are you going to do now?"_

"_I don't know", I admitted, "I might just stay single for a bit or…"_

"_Mm?", Sonic answered._

"_I mean… if you ever, you know, want to meet up…?", I hinted (rather heavily), "you know, only if you want to"_

"_Ah", Sonic stretched his arms nervously, "Well, you see, thing is Amy is that… I'd love to and all, but… well…"_

"_Hey, Sonic!", a voice piped up behind him. I looked up and saw what I assumed was a chipmunk in denim clothing with beautiful blue eyes and a pixie haircut running towards him. When she reached him she flashed a dazzling smile, however when she saw me her smile stiffened slightly._

"_Um, Amy, this is Sally", Sonic introduced us, "Sal, this is Amy"_

_Sally's stiff smile turned to a forced grin. I could tell that I obviously wasn't wanted right there and then._

"_Oh, __**Amy**__!", Sally remarked, emphasising my name, "I've heard so much about you! I've been wanting to meet you for so long; it's so nice to finally meet you!"_

"_I bet it fucking is", I muttered under my breath._

"_What was that?", Sally asked._

"_Nothing!", I answered quickly, "Nothing"_

"_So how __**are**__ you?", Sally asked._

"_Just peachy", I replied and then focussed on Sonic, making sure that I didn't ask Sally how she was, "So I gather you and Sally are…?"_

"_Well", Sonic answered, ruffling his quills, "It's nothing serious, to be honest-"_

"_Oh, you!", Sally exclaimed and hit Sonic's arm playfully, and then turned to me, "It's early days, but you never know what it might lead to!"_

"_Yeah", I croaked, feeling a lump form in my throat. I attempted to swallow it and raised my voice once more, "That's great. Really. I'm so happy for you, Sonic"_

"_Yeah, I hope we can remain good friends despite everything", Sonic answered, "If you want, we can-"_

"_Well, I hate to interrupt, but our movie starts in ten minutes", Sally chipped in and grabbed Sonic's arm, "Come on, Sonic. Let's __**go**__!"_

"_Erm, okay", Sonic replied and began to walk away with Sally, "I'll see you around, Amy"_

"_Yeah", I croaked, "See ya"_

"_Bye Amy!", Sally called out, flashing me a knowing smirk. I felt… betrayed. Hurt. Disowned. Telling Sonic to get a hold of his own life was one thing, but the fact that he had actually done that was entirely different. Especially with somebody like Sally. God, that Sally! Who did she think she was? Surely Sonic could have done better than __**her**__? But, if he was happy with her…_

_I suddenly felt so alone. It felt as though everybody on the entire planet had somebody expect for myself. It felt as though I was a jinx, doomed to becoming a singleton for the rest of my life…_

_No, that wasn't true. As far as I knew, Rouge was still single, as well as Vanilla, Tails, and Knuckles. So… why did I not feel any better?_

_I've suddenly decided: I'm going out. Not to the shopping mall or the movies, but to the nightclubs and bars within the city. Besides, there's bound to be cute __**single**__ guys roaming within the bars. I need to feel wanted, to be loved and appreciated. Yeah. A night out is what I need. I'll even wear my new black dress!_

_Wish me luck, diary!_

* * *

_**Later:**_ _Tonight had been a nightmare. I couldn't believe what had happened. I feel so… __**disgusted**__ with myself, it's so unreal. I couldn't even tell Vanilla what had happened._

_So… I decided to visit the nightclubs within the city, keeping my eyes open for any potential single males. I know you should wait until true love finds you, but I was just so desperate that I couldn't help myself. I thought I looked older in my black close-fitting cocktail dress and high heels, but when I walked into a bar and asked the barman for a vodka and coke, he looked at me up and down._

"_You got any I.D.?", he demanded. I felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment._

"_Well… no", I admitted._

"_Then no sale", the barman replied and folded his arms, "Scram"_

_I backed away from the bar with embarrassment. I could almost feel everybody in the bar laughing at me. _

"_God, she __**can't**__ be serious, can she?", a female voice piped up rudely, "She's so obviously underage, it's practically unreal!", I turned around to look at this rude Mobian, who turned out to be a pink hedgehog. When you really looked at her, you would automatically say that she was a spitting image of myself except her face was heavily made up, there was a tattoo on her stomach which was visible due to her small, tight black vest, and she also wore a sparkly black jacket, a black net skirt, fishnets, and high heels. Her quills were cut and layered into an attractive style, and she had a __**perfect**__ figure. The female smirked at me._

"_I think you should go to youth clubs, instead, honey", she cooed, "I bet you'll fit in better there"_

"_Up yours", I remarked under my breath. Unfortunately, she heard me._

"_Ex__**cuse **__me?", she demanded, her face inches away from mine, "Who do you think you are, bitch?"_

"_Hey, woah! Woah!", a male voice exclaimed in the background. I looked behind her and saw an emerald green hedgehog approaching._

_Oh. My. God. This hedgehog was… sex on __**legs**__! I was completely and utterly in awe with his intriguing appearance; his green fur, sky-blue eyes which were hidden under dark shades, as well as his leather jacket, and matching shoes. I couldn't help but stare at him. He smirked at me._

"_Sorry about her", he told me, "She's a bit touchy about what people say to her"_

_The female suddenly tucked her arm into the crook of his own and snuggled into him, a sly smile on her face._

"_Get me a drink, Scourgey?", she asked sweetly. The green hedgehog frowned at her, and pulled his arm away._

"_Get it yourself, Rosy", he ordered and peered at me through his shades, "Been having trouble getting drinks, beautiful?"_

"_Yeah", I whispered, still staring at him. Realisation hit me. I jumped slightly and cleared my throat, a small smile formed on my face._

"_I mean, yeah", I stammered stupidly, "The b-barman is being a douche bag"_

"_Mm", the hedgehog replied, "Bummer. Listen, I can get you a drink, if you want?"_

"_Yeah, that'd be great", I replied._

"_The name's Scourge, by the way", he announced, "And you are?"_

"_Amy", I answered, "Amy Rose"_

"_Cute name", he answered and winked at me playfully before heading towards the bar. I watched him wistfully. However, my viewing became obscured when this Rosy girl stepped in front of me, her face screwed up with anger._

"_Listen, you little slut", she hissed, "Scourge is __**my**__ man. He's taken. He's into me. I'm much sexier than what you are, and you haven't got what it takes to take on a man like him. So know your limits, get it?"_

"_Don't worry about it", I sneered back, "He's not that good-looking, anyway"_

"_**What**__?", she screeched, "He's practically the sexiest guy of our time! Are you on dope or something?"_

"_Oh, get a grip!", I snapped, "I'm not that into him!"_

"_Well then", Rosy stepped back and folded her arms, her head shaking slightly, "I've got no worries if that's the case"_

"_Yeah", I growled, "So get out of my face!"_

"_Give Amy some air, Rosy, you're smothering her", Scourge suddenly ordered as he handed me a bottle of vodka. I reluctantly took it from him. Rosy looked defeated._

"_So, Amy, come here often?", he asked. I smiled, sipping my vodka. I didn't know if it was the drink, but I was beginning to feel more at ease. _

"_Maybe I should so that I could meet you", I flirted, feeling Rosy glaring at me._

"_Cheeky", he chuckled, flashing his teeth, "So what's a cute girl like you doing in a place like this? Shouldn't you be at home in your bed like a good girl?"_

"_I'm not as innocent as you think", I smirked, "I can be bad sometimes"_

"_Isn't everyone?", Scourge growled. I giggled at his joke. Rosy attempted to gain Scourge's attention._

"_Hey Scourge", she called out over the music, "Why don't we get some shots and take this outside, if you know what I mean…?"_

"_Nah", Scourge answered, "You go ahead. I'm busy right now"_

"_But…", Rosy froze, stunned, "It'll be lonely"_

"_That's your problem, not mine", Scourge answered, "Scoot"_

_Rosy glared at me once more, and stomped away from us. Scourge turned back round, his eyelids raised mockingly._

"_Phew!", he exclaimed, "She just __**won't**__ leave me alone!"_

"_Shame about your clingy girlfriend", I commented and sipped my vodka again._

"_Oh, she's not my girlfriend", he grinned, "I'm available"_

"_Is that so?", I replied and smiled mysteriously at him. He smirked back, leaning towards me. I panicked slightly and consumed a large amount of vodka. I began to feel quite dizzy._

"_Easy with the drink, Amy", Scourge chuckled, "It'll go straight to your head!"_

"_Mm", I drank more until the bottle was empty. I closed my eyes and re-opened them. My surroundings began to spin right in front of me. I took one step forward and stumbled slightly. I giggled. __**So, this is what it feels like to be drunk**__, I thought to myself._

"_You okay?", Scourge asked, looking bemused._

"_Fine, fine, fine", I mumbled, "Never finer. Get me another drink, yeah?"_

"_Sure thing", he grinned and went to the bar. I made my way slowly to the ladies bathroom, locked myself in a cubicle and closed my eyes. My head felt like it was swimming in liquid. For one seriously scary second I thought I was going to pass out right there and then. But I couldn't; I had to show Shadow that I could have fun without him, that I was independent. I breathed out and unlocked the cubicle. When I exited the bathroom, I peered towards the bar and saw Scourge with two small glasses. I took a deep breath, hobbled up to him and smiled determinedly._

"_I got you a shot", Scourge told me. I grinned and drank it instantly. I coughed at the sudden impact._

"_What was in that?", I demanded. Scourge laughed._

"_It was just a little something to help you relax", he grinned, "Nothing serious"_

"_You sure?", I slurred._

"_Trust me", he laughed, "I've had this stuff before, and I turned out okay!"_

"_Mm", I answered. Despite his efforts to convince me otherwise, I was beginning to feel much worse as time went by; music blared into my ears, my surroundings became a distant blur, sweat was pouring off of my face, and my hands shook uncontrollably. Scourge noticed this and announced over the music, "You look as if you need a bit of fresh air, let's go outside"_

"_Yeah", I slurred, "Out… outside is good"_

_I allowed him to escort me out of the bar, for I was incapable of moving without tripping over my own feet. I swallowed with difficulty, attempting to overcome the waves of nausea swarming through my head. Needless to say, the cool, refreshing air outside was a godsend, and I savoured it appreciatively. I closed my eyes, leaned against a wall and enjoyed the cool air against my face… until I felt somebody's lips crashing against mine. My eyes flew open, only to find Scourge's body pressing against my own as he began to kiss me passionately. I panicked and immediately shoved him away, attempting to focus my eyesight on him._

"_What d'you think you're doin'?", I slurred. Scourge smirked in a dangerous manner, the street lights glinting off of his shades. He suddenly leaned forward and placed both of his arms on either side of me, trapping me._

"_You told me you're a bad girl, Amy Rose", he chuckled darkly, "Why don't you __**show **__me why you're so naughty?"_

"_Get away from me", I warned him, though my threat sounded to pathetic, because Scourge somewhat ignored me and forced more kisses onto my mouth. I struggled desperately, but he was persistent as I felt his arms grip my own, forcing me against the wall. I gagged as he attempted to slip his tongue into my mouth, but then realisation hit me and I immediately bit his tongue hard enough to draw blood. He cried out angrily, clamping his hand to his bloody mouth. Scourge glared at me through his shades and then caught me by surprise by using one hand to grab my neck and gripped it fiercely and his other hand to fumble at the skirt of my dress. My eyes then widened, realising what he was intending to do._

"_**No**__!", I snapped furiously as I wrestled from him, "Get __**off**__ of me!"_

_Scourge simply chuckled. _

"_We both know what kind of a girl you really are, Amy", Scourge hissed, "So stop playing so hard-to-get, yeah?-"_

"_Get away from her!", Somebody shouted and before I knew it, Scourge was shoved fiercely aside so that he ended up falling onto the ground. I blinked at him with confusion and back at my saviour. I then smiled with relief and gratitude. It was __**Rouge**__! She glared at the heap on the ground that was Scourge._

"_If I see you anywhere near her again, I swear, I will rip your fucking head off!", she snarled at him, and led me away from the area. I burst into tears like a stupid toddler. Rouge then put her arm around me and coaxed me back inside. _

"_Y-you just broke my shades, you stupid bat!", Scourge screamed from behind. I shivered at the sound of his voice. Rouge snorted._

"_My heart bleeds for you", she remarked sarcastically, "Come on, Amy"_

"_Yeah, you go with her, Amy", Scourge shouted at me, "Who needs trash like you? You deserve each other, you bunch of lesbians!"_

_Despite everything that had happened, Rouge burst out laughing. I even managed to giggle slightly before the bar before me began to stir uncontrollably._

"_Amy?", Rouge asked and looked properly, "Oh, my God! What have you __**taken**__?"_

"_I… I dunno", I slurred, "Jus'… leave me be"_

"_No, no I won't", Rouge answered determinedly, "Come on, let's get you some water"_

"_You __**slut**__!", a voice suddenly screamed. I spun around to find Rosy marching towards me, practically breathing fire._

"_You stupid, __**stupid**__ little slut!", she screamed into my face, "How __**dare**__ you make a move on my Scourge! I can't believe you would stoop so low!"_

"_Fuck off, Pinky!", Rouge shouted. Rosy peered at Rouge rudely._

"_Eh?", she remarked, "Who the fuck are you? Listen, keep your nose out of this or you'll answer to me, yeah?"_

"_If you don't get out of our way, you'll answer to __**me**__", Rouge warned her, "I don't know if you know this, but I don't have to go to extreme lengths to rip those fake extensions out of your quills… who knows, I might even make you __**bald**__ by the time I'm through with you!"_

"_You wouldn't do that, would you?", Rosy suddenly asked, a fearful expression on her face as she ran her fingers through her quills._

"_That depends… if you get out of our way or not", Rouge threatened. Rosy hesitated and then nodded._

"_Fine", Rosey remarked, "Fine. Besides, I can't help it if this bitch has a fast reputation", and then immediately marched away with her head held high. Rouge glared at Rosy as she marched away, and breathed out slowly._

"_Come on", she declared, "Let's get you to the bathroom"_

_She marched me into the bathroom, and managed to get a plastic cup in order to give me plenty of water to drink. I ended up drinking at least three cupfuls of water before Rouge began interrogating me._

"_So what was all of this?", she demanded, "What's happened to you, Amy?"_

_I shrugged, and sipped at my water._

"_One minute you were totally innocent, and now you're getting up to all sorts", she sighed, "Drinking and taking drugs and letting guys do what they want to you-"_

"_I did __**not**__ take drugs!", I protested angrily._

"_Really?", Rouge asked sarcastically, "Well! You could have fooled me! Look at you! You've got sweat pouring off of your face, you're dehydrated and your pupils have shrunk"_

"_He put something in my drink", I whimpered, "He said that there was some stuff in the drink that would help me relax… but I don't __**feel **__relaxed at all!"_

"_Of course not, you idiot!", Rouge snapped, "Isn't it obvious that Scourge had tried to drug you so that he could take advantage of you?"_

_I burst into tears, realising how close I actually was from being used. Rouge paused and sighed. I felt her put her arm around me._

"_Look", she continued, "I'm not trying to sound harsh, but you brought it on yourself! And I hate to admit it, but that girl was right; accepting tainted drinks from strangers and allowing guys to do what they want to you __**does**__ create the impression that you have a dangerous reputation. No wonder Scourge went after you! And speaking of which, what were you __**doing**__ with him? You know he's dangerous, right?"_

"_What do you mean?", I asked stupidly._

"_He's well-known for getting girls drunk and then using them", she remarked, "I overheard that he usually goes for virgins because he thinks that they are so desperate and lonely that they'll happily spread their legs-"_

"_STOP!", I shouted, "Just… stop"_

_Rouge looked at me with a sympathised expression on her face._

"_I know it's hard to believe", she continued, "But it's the truth. You're very lucky that I managed to get you away before he took things further"_

"_I'm sorry", I whimpered, "I just…"_

"_It's okay", Rouge put her arms around me and hugged me close, "You're not to blame, at all. It is __**not**__ your fault, okay?"_

"_I mean", I sniffed, "Shadow dumped me, and I felt so lonely that I thought I'd… I just wanted to feel loved and needed"_

"_There's nothing wrong with that!", Rouge reassured me, "You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time… with the wrong person, might I add!"_

_I giggled feebly. A sudden thought came to me._

"_Am I a slut, Rouge?", I piped up. Rouge burst out laughing._

"_Hon, you couldn't be a slut even if you tried!", she protested, "No; you're a loving, caring girl who has something that other girls don't have nowadays"_

"_And what's that?", I asked._

"_Respectability"_

* * *

_Rouge made sure that I arrived home safe and sound. As I waved goodbye to her, I smirked to myself as I made my way towards the staircase. Rouge was right; I didn't need a guy to complete me, and I didn't need to change myself in order to get a guy. I just had to be myself amongst others. Trying to be something I wasn't almost resulted in rape, in which it just goes to show you that the social world isn't as safe as what it seems. I didn't need a boyfriend, I just needed to enjoy life. I just needed to enjoy being single._

_Or did I…?_

_It wasn't until at least half an hour later that there was a knock on the front door. I was already in bed, contemplating what had happened tonight. I jumped at the sound, terrified that Scourge had somehow found me. I held my breath and hugged my legs as I heard Vanilla shuffle downstairs and open the front door. There was quite a bit of mumbling. My curiosity soared when I heard Vanilla state, "Can't this wait until the morning?", then there was a pause and then I heard Vanilla climb up the staircase and towards my room. She knocked on the door._

"_Amy?", she whispered, "Amy? Are you awake?"_

"_I am now", I whispered back._

"_Amy, Sonic's at the front door asking for you", she told me, "Shall I tell him to wait until later on this morning?"_

"_No, it's okay", I whispered back, and I climbed out of bed and made my way downstairs. Sonic was leaning against the doorframe of the front door when I appeared, and when he saw me he shot up anxiously._

"_Amy!", he exclaimed. I shushed him furiously._

"_Do you have __**any **__idea what time it is?", I hissed. Sonic ruffled his quills, looking nervous._

"_I'm sorry, I didn't realise", he answered, "I just wanted to talk to you"_

"_What about?"_

"_Us"_

_I swallowed nervously and folded my arms._

"_What's there to talk about?", I asked, "There's no 'us' anymore. There's just me, and there's now you and Sally"_

_I suddenly recalled that Sonic had taken Sally to the movies earlier on._

"_How did it go, by the way?", I asked curiously. Sonic gave me a bewildered look._

"_How did what go?", he asked._

"_Your date with Sally?", I persisted. Again, Sonic ruffled his quills._

"_Yeah, it was okay", he answered, "There was just one problem, though"_

"_Oh", I replied, "And what was that?"_

_Sonic paused and looked at me._

"_She wasn't you", he answered and suddenly leaned forward and kissed me. I can't say that I didn't enjoy it, but it shocked me nonetheless! And then the obvious dawned on me. Sonic actually did care about me, and I was too blind to even notice. The reason why he was always in my way when I was dating Shadow was because he still loved me and hated seeing me being hurt by others. Maybe he even dated Sally as to make me feel jealous, to let me have a taste of my own medicine for once. It makes me feel awful that I treated him like crap all this time when all along he was just trying to protect me. It just goes to show you that love can be very complicated the majority of the time. Some of us are lucky to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, and others may have to push further in order to meet that special someone, just like what Sonic did to me by being there when I needed him the most, even though I didn't particularly show it! Regardless, it's true what they say about love; it can happen when you least expect it. If only I had brushed my quills and worn a decent outfit when Sonic kissed me! Typical!_

_Yours,_

_Amy._


	19. Shooting Stars

**Hey guys! Here's the 19th entry (at long last lol!) Now, I'd like to point out that from this diary entry onward focuses on the Metarex Saga of the 'Sonic X' series - meaning the 6-month period between when Sonic left Chris's home and the sudden arrival of Chris in Mobius has passed, in order to prevent confusion lol!**

**Enjoy!**

**~Xoxomtmodnarxoxo**

**A/N: This entry takes place during episode 53 of 'Sonic X'. Dialogue belongs to 4Kids. Cosmo the Seedrian belongs to Sega. Narration belongs to myself.**

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_Life is never boring. And that is the understatement of the century, as far as I'm concerned. I swear; it's like God sits on his almighty throne and the minute - seriously, the __**minute**__ - my life is supposedly normal, he must have a warning system that beeps and then he suddenly decides, "Ah, Amy's life is normal! I have to do whatever I can to make her life a living Hell!", and hey-presto, my life becomes topsy-turvy once again._

_The original plan was to watch a meteor shower taking place earlier this evening. Tails brought his video camera to record footage, Cream appeared with sugary goodies made by Vanilla (proof that once again my diet had failed), and I decided to make a cameo appearance simply because I had nothing else better to do. The evening actually wasn't too bad to begin with; the skies were clear, the air was nice and cool, and we were the only ones to watch the meteor showers, so we weren't disturbed._

"_How much longer do we have to wait, Tails?", Cream asked impatiently. I rolled my eyes at her childish enthusiasm. Tails huffed to himself as he positioned his video camera to a certain angle._

"_I'm not exactly sure, Cream", he admitted, "Not too long"_

_I chuckled to myself. It is __**so**__ like Tails to become anxious when a huge scientific event is about to take place. Though at the time, it was beyond me completely __**why**__ meteor showers are so significant in the first place. Now don't get me wrong, meteor showers are awesome to look at, but at times I just want to tell Tails to take a chill-pill and to stop being such a nerd. To just relax and __**enjoy **__life._

_Or am I being too harsh…?_

_I decided to distract myself._

"_This would be __**so **__romantic if Sonic were here to see it with me!", I exclaimed stupidly. I felt so fake when I informed Tails and Cream this. After the whole thing with Shadow and Scourge and Sonic, I resolved to getting advice from teenage magazines regarding boys and relationships. I couldn't believe what I had read; the majority of the problems reflected almost everything I had been through myself. The girls who wrote them seemed unreal; all they did was whine about boys who they liked who didn't like them because they were too clingy, or their boyfriends wanted to go all the way, or wept because their boyfriends broke up with them… my first impression of them was, 'Oh, my God, these girls are so pathetic', and then I suddenly realised, 'Oh, my God… __**I'm**__ pathetic!'. So I decided to change my attitude towards men entirely. Although Sonic likes me for who I am, I learned that being clingy is __**not**__ sexy. So although I was slightly devastated that Sonic was not able to join us to watch the meteor showers, I tried so hard not to make a big deal out of it, and just enjoy being with my friends._

"_Soon the sky will be filled with shooting stars", I informed Cream, making it especially exciting for her._

"_According to the astronomers, we only get a meteor shower __**this**__ humungous every five hundred years or so", Tails explained, though I doubt he knew that personally; I bet he just heard this on the news, "We're really lucky to be here"_

"_**I **__sure wouldn't want to wait __**that**__ long to see it again!", Cream exclaimed, "Would you?"_

"_Chao!", Cheese squeaked randomly._

"_We should all make a wish", I commented. Tails looked at me, bemused._

"_Why should we do that?", he asked curiously. Honestly, Tails may be a nerd when it comes to science, but he's completely dim when it comes to fun things like spiritual power and beliefs._

"_Chris told us if you make a wish whenever you see a shooting star, it'll come true", Cream explained, "Remember, Tails?"_

"_Yeah", Tails answered sadly, suddenly depressed, "It's too bad Chris and Chuck aren't here to see this with us"_

"_I miss them", Cream piped up, "I wish we could go back to their world for a visit"_

_I didn't say anything, but I felt a pang when Tails mentioned Chris. True, six months had been a long and difficult period of time for me, but I still found time to think about Chris and Chuck… and Ella. I kept my promise. I never forgot about them during that time._

_I was lost in thought… until I saw silver lines appearing in the skies. I looked up and held my breath. Here it was: the meteor shower! Shooting stars! I gazed happily at them, making a wish right there and then…_

_**I wish my life would be perfect**__, I thought out loud, __**In every aspect…**_

"_It's starting!", Tails exclaimed and began to record the footage. Cream jiggled happily._

"_They look like fireworks!", she squealed. I smiled happily at Cream. Tails chuckled, content._

"_I'm sure glad I brought a camera!", he exclaimed. I was too content to even speak. I just stared into the deep blue sky that was streaked with small silver shooting stars. It was beautiful. Romantic, even. I suddenly no longer cared about being clingy towards Sonic; I badly wanted him by my side at that moment of time…_

_And all of a sudden, we saw it. A supposed shooting star that wasn't following the continuous pattern in the sky along with the other shooting stars; it looked as though it was going to collide into Mobius; into where we were situated. I stared at it helplessly, wondering if I was hallucinating, or if this shooting star was real. I didn't want to say it out loud or Tails and Cream would have assumed I was crazy, so I remained silent. And then a thought came to me; couldn't Tails and Cream see it themselves? After all, Tails was glued to his video camera; didn't he __**see**__ it? What if this meteor was going to crash directly into us? What if we were to __**die**__?_

_I had to speak out._

"_That sure is a weird-looking meteor!", I exclaimed, my finger trembling._

"_If I didn't know better, I'd say it's heading straight for us!", Cream stated. I felt relieved that I wasn't the only one who could see the meteor. Tails was __**still**__ peering through his video camera. I desperately wanted to pull him away from the danger approaching us. But before I could do anything, the meteor shot straight __**past**__ us - barely missing us, and flew through the fields behind us. Not long after, there was a deafening explosion. I covered my eyes, preventing any damaging flashes or debris from flying into my eyes. But we were safe; we were still alive. That was the main thing. Tails, Cream and I stared at one another helplessly… and reluctantly ran towards the explosion. It was as though there were magnets in our shoes, pulling us towards any metal within the explosion, as though we had no control whatsoever. We ran through the smoke and the debris, coughing and spluttering but we still ran towards the sight of the explosion. My heart began to beat rapidly: what if somebody had been killed in the explosion? Would it be anybody I knew? Would there be lots of blood and gore? How would I react?_

_We approached the explosion wearily. When the smoke decreased, instead of a meteor, we found a spaceship. I frowned at it._

"_That's no shooting star!", I exclaimed._

_I stared at the spaceship helplessly… and then saw a green figure lying on the ground in front of it. I peered at the figure, and then my eyes widened. The green figure was a person; certainly not a Mobian, but a living member of an unknown species. Tails suddenly ran towards them and pulled them up. When I followed closely behind, I eventually realised the green alien was __**female**__, judging by her skirt and feminine features. As Tails pulled her up, she relaxed into his arms, small groans escaping from her mouth. I immediately sympathised her._

"_She needs help", Tails informed us. I paused and suddenly sprang into action._

"_Your house is the closest one around here, Cream", I told her, "I think we should take her there"_

"_We'll go tell Mother you're coming", Cream replied and flew off with Cheese. Tails and I remained with the green female and stared at her, before our eyes focussed on one another; staring at each other helplessly, wondering what on Mobius we were going to do next._

* * *

_Although I badly wanted to watch the rest of the meteor shower, I remained in Cream's room, watching the green female curiously as she twitched underneath Cream's duvet, possibly dreaming. I wondered what Sonic would have thought about her if __**he**__ was at the crash sight. Would he jump into superhero-mode and help out, or would he consider her as an enemy and not help her at all? I suddenly felt terrible; of __**course **__Sonic would help her out - he always helped others no matter what problems they faced._

_My eyes focussed on the female once more. So… what was she __**doing **__here? I knew Sonic was somewhere else battling some sort of evil source… was that why she was here? To forewarn us? Or did she crash onto our planet by mistake, not intending to visit Mobius after all? Did her ship run out of fuel? Things like that always happened, right?_

_I looked at her closely. She was quite pretty in her own way; not stunning, but unique as well as a slim figure and leaves for hair and what looked like tiny rosebuds at each side of her head. I began to panic. Was she…? No, she couldn't be…_

_Still…_

_Was she actually here to steal Sonic away from me…?_

_I told myself not to be too ridiculous, but I couldn't __**help**__ it. It felt as though my relationship with Sonic was under extreme danger. I could see it happening in front of me: Sonic and this girl running away together, hand-in-hand, __**laughing**__ as they glanced back at me, whilst I withered away into a pink blur within the horizon…_

_The green female inhaled suddenly and peered into the brightness within Cream's bedroom. We all focussed our attention on her, and her alone. She blinked uncertainly before she fixed her eyesight on us as we crowded around her._

"_Look!", Vanilla stated, "She's waking up!"_

_I shot a look of disbelief at Vanilla. Of __**course**__ the girl was waking up; either that or her body was possessed by some spirit. In actual fact, there was a tiny bit of me that expected the green girl to speak in a demon voice and crawl onto the ceiling on her hands and knees. But she didn't. She continued to peer at us as though __**we**__ were demons. I smiled sympathetically at her as an attempt to create the impression that I was friendly and approachable. She struggled to sit up in Cream's bed and smiled weakly at us all._

"_Oh, careful, dear!", Vanilla fussed, "Don't try to get up!"_

_The girl looked so alone and lost that I decided to help her out. I leaned forward gently._

"_You were in a big crash", I explained as simply as I could, "You're really lucky that you didn't have any serious injuries"_

_The green girl remained silent. Cream paused and then approached her._

"_Maybe you can tell us your name and where you and your spaceship came here from", Cream suggested, attempting to coax the girl into giving more details about herself. The girl gasped slightly, covering her mouth with both hands, an agonised expression on her face. I began to panic slightly._

"_I can't", she whispered._

"_You mean…", Cream thought about it, "You can't remember?"_

"_I can!", the girl protested, "but I… can't tell you"_

_There was a slight pause. Tails was the first to break it._

"_Why?", he asked, curiously. The girl looked at him, a solemn expression on her face._

"_I'm looking for somebody on this planet named Sonic the Hedgehog", the girl explained, "It's very important that I speak with him as soon as possible… before it's too late"_

_I frowned at her, my hands curled into fists that rested on either side of my waist. My heart began to beat rapidly. My right foot began to tap impatiently. I didn't like where this was heading._

"_You can talk to us", Tails reassured her, "We'll help ya if we can. What's the matter?"_

_**Yeah**__, I thought to myself, __**In regards to Sonic, what **__**is**__** the matter?**_

"_I… Can't tell you", the green girl responded. That was it. That was where I had to jump in. I told myself to be calm and collected, but if I wanted to save my relationship with Sonic, I had to be vigilant._

"_Well, I have a right to know what this is all about!", I argued bitterly. The girl stared at me as if I was crazy. Perhaps there was a small bit of me that was feeling a bit crazy, maybe even a bit paranoid. But, I still had the right to ask her questions… didn't I?_

_The girl remained looking clueless. Feeling exasperated, I continued:_

"_Sonic's my boyfriend!", I argued, "And you'd better not be trying to move in on him!"_

"_Amy!", Cream protested as she held her arms out protectively. Just as well, too. I'd probably have lashed out on the poor girl if it wasn't for Cream, "She didn't come here to date him!"_

_I still felt suspicious, but I also felt ludicrous at the same time; the idea of travelling across the universe in order to date somebody seemed too unreal._

_The girl stared at me warily. Tails broke the awkward silence._

"_We're friends with Sonic", he informed her, "So maybe we can help?"_

"… _Friends?", the girl asked curiously. I sighed mentally at her supposed stupidity. It was as though she didn't understand the concept of the word 'friend'._

"_My name's Miles Prower", Tails introduced himself, "But everyone calls me by my nickname, Tails"_

"_And I'm Cream", Cream introduced herself, "We're very happy to meet yo-"_

"_And __**my**__ name's Amy Rose", I remarked rudely, "You're not going to be here long, are you?"_

_The girl dithered, not looking me in the eye. We all stared at her, until a tremendous rumble could be heard outside. We all exclaimed at the mysterious noise; the rumbling certainly wasn't thunder, and there were no telltale physical rumbling indicating an earthquake taking place. What __**was **__the strange noise…?_

_Our first instinct was to look out of the window. We peered into the dark sky until we saw a black figure descending from the clouds above._

"_What's __**that**__?", Cream asked out loud._

"_It's… something big", Tails remarked. I remained silent._

"_You should stay in bed, dear", we heard Vanilla say behind us. We turned around to find the green girl climbing out of Cream's bed and staggering towards us, with Vanilla assisting her by holding onto the girl's shoulders. When she saw the black figure that we were staring at, her face paled._

"_It's another Metarex", she whispered fearfully._

_And __**that**__ was when we began to panic._

* * *

_Understatement of the century! In fact, the word 'panic' doesn't even cover how terrified we felt when we heard a voice boom, "__**Preparing area for Planet Egg removal**__"_

_I paused. What on Mobius was a __**planet egg**__? Was it anything significant? I was given the impression that our planet consisted of simply a core that controlled certain magnetic fields… but not a __**planet egg**__. I tried to create an image of a planet egg in my mind, but the best I could do was imagine the sort of egg a chicken would lay hovering within the core of our planet. It didn't make any sense._

_Suddenly, red lightning streaked the sky across the forest, causing the grounds to break apart instantly, disintegrating all the trees within it's path. I desperately wanted to run away, but I couldn't bring myself to do so. I wanted Sonic to appear at any given moment, but he never did. And what about Knuckles? What was he __**doing**__ up there? The destruction was taking place directly under Angel Island; was he not witnessing the same macabre as we were?_

_Needless to say, the sight of destructive forest fires taking place was enough to bring a tear to your eye. It would have taken the fire department months to clean up such a mess. I was terrified that this Metarex thing was going to create even more destruction (possibly enough to destroy our town), but thank God for Knuckles who flew in at the last minute and distracted the Metarex._

"_Hey!", I heard Knuckles shout at it, "Knock it off, ya fire bug!"_

_He struck the Metarex with one fist, only to come into contact with it's wing. The collision of the wing struck Knuckles so badly that Knuckles instantly fell to the ground within the forest nearby. I swallowed nervously, realising how powerful and dangerous this Metarex thing actually was. Thankfully Tails flew right into the scene with a green replica of his X-Tornado, alongside the green alien. Oh, the irony. Anyway, he targeted the Metarex with missiles, each missile exploding like a firework. I never actually found out if any conversation took place between them during that short period of time, so the green female remained a mystery to me…_

"_The whole forest's on fire!", Cream exclaimed beside me. _

"_This __**can't**__ be a coincidence!", I remarked as I stared at the burning trees in front of me. I glanced once more at the green X-Tornado. _

"_I have a feeling that girl may know why this is happening", I explained to Cream, "I wish there was a way to convince her to talk to us!"_

_We both stared in horror as Knuckles was once again struck by the Metarex wing. Tails assisted Knuckles by shooting lasers directly at the Metarex, only to discover at the last minute that the lasers did not destroy the Metarex at all. The Metarex remained as strong as ever. Just as we began to lose hope, a blue flash shot through the sky and collided into the Metarex. I breathed out with relief, a huge smile appearing on my face. It was __**Sonic**__!_

_The Metarex instantly fell over and crashed into the ruins of the forest, causing debris and smoke to sweep through the surrounding area as Sonic positioned himself on top of a nearby cliff. _

"_It's Sonic!", both Cream and I exclaimed happily, hugging one another. Unfortunately, the Metarex stood up into it's original positioned and faced Sonic. Sonic stared back at it, showing no signs indicating that he was afraid of it. I couldn't exactly hear what Sonic had said to the Metarex, but by judging his confident smirk, I could tell that everything was going to be okay from then on._

… _Or was it? Tails threw a ring at Sonic, in which Sonic curled into a ball and hurled himself into the Metarex, forcing the Metarex to stumble slightly. At the same time, strange clamps emerged from the body of the Metarex and launched themselves at Sonic at rapid speed, in which Sonic missed them by inches. Knuckles attempted once more to strike the Metarex with his fist, only to be struck by one of the clamps, causing him to fly backwards. Poor Knuckles. If this wasn't a serious incident, I would have giggled feebly at the idea of Knuckles failing to attack an enemy at every opportunity he got. But this wasn't a laughing matter; this was __**real**__ danger happening right in front of us. I didn't dare pull out my Piko Piko hammer. I mean, just looking at how badly Knuckles was being attacked was enough evidence to indicate that I wasn't strong or tough enough to join the battle. Knuckles and Sonic then discussed options between one another - once again I was not able to hear what was being said - and then they were attacking the Metarex once more. I frowned at Sonic's physical state. He wasn't running as fast as he normally did. It was completely alien to myself how he was running almost at the same rate as a normal Mobian would do. Regardless, I told myself to be confident in Sonic; that he knew what he was doing, and that he would definitely defeat this Metarex. The Metarex shot beams of what seemed like red lightning at both Sonic and Knuckles, causing them to stop in order to shield their eyes. Tails shot more missiles at the Metarex, but it remained strong. _

_My relieved smile vanished. My heart began to beat rapidly. This didn't look good at all. Cream was __**crying**__, for God's sake!_

_Knuckles and Sonic spoke to one another once more. I didn't know exactly what Sonic had said to Knuckles, but I knew that it wasn't good news when I heard Knuckles scream angrily, "__**ARE YOU CRAZY? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?**__"_

_I closed my eyes with dismay. Typical Sonic; always doing things his way._

"_I guess we're going to have to find them again!", I then heard Sonic state. And __**then**__ I caught on what they were arguing about. The Chaos Emeralds._

"_Oh, Sonic", I sighed in despair, rubbing my forehead wearily. Typical. Fucking typical! Without warning, a clamp attacked both Sonic and Knuckles at the same time, lifting them from the ground and causing them to fall backwards. I didn't know whether to run to help them, or to shout at Sonic for being so stupid. Either way, I found my feet leading me further towards the battle._

"_Oh, no!", I exclaimed loudly._

"_Are you okay?", Cream demanded, desperate to join in. And then I saw it. A clamp; heading straight towards me and Cream. It wasn't until I noticed the speed of which it was approaching us that I sprung into action._

"_Watch out!", I shouted and tackled Cream to the ground, merely missing the clamp altogether. Cheese squeaked fearfully. I reopened my eyes cautiously, only to witness a bright beam of light appearing at the centre of the forest in front of the Metarex. The area surrounding us began to rumble in an intimidating manner. The Metarex somehow remained calm and collected._

"_**Proceeding with Planet Egg removal**__", the Metarex boomed in a loud, clear voice, and with that, the grounds surrounding the beam of light began to break apart due to the sudden impact. Tears welled in my eyes simply by looking at the entire area crumbling to pieces. Only to think that the forest had remained unharmed until now had completely and utterly devastated me. The beam of light became brighter, so bright that Cream and I covered our eyes with our arms. I prayed that I wouldn't end up with cataracts, especially after watching this weird foreign drama about a nuclear war where the main character ended up with cataracts and eventually died…*_

_Anyway, that's not the point. The beam of light gradually faded, and as a result, a strange object which looked almost like a crystal emerged from the destroyed remains of the surrounding area. I blinked at it with horror. What on Mobius __**was**__ it?_

_The crystal hovered until it was directly in front of the Metarex. And then, the grounds as well as the trees began to rot and crumble with decay right in front of us. I wanted to vomit. If I didn't know any better, I would have assumed that the planet Mobius was coming to an end, judging the poor conditions that the remaining forest was in. I then looked at the strange crystal object floating in front of the Metarex. It was something __**about**__ the crystal that made it seem so significant… could it be that the life and well-being of the planet relied on that one crystal? Was __**that**__ the planet egg?_

_Leaves from trees dissolved by themselves, and tree branches began to rot. It looked as though the forest - or what was left of it - was weeping. I wanted to burst into tears. This was worse than the effects of Global Warming and Nuclear war combined…_

_The Metarex swiftly grabbed the crystal and confirmed, "__**Procedure complete**__", it paused, "__**Lift-off!**__"_

_And with that the Metarex rose into the air, preparing to fly away. Fortunately, Sonic wasn't having any of __**that**__._

"_Hold it!", he shouted angrily and tucked himself into a ball and launched himself at the Metarex. Unfortunately, one clamp shot out and smacked into Sonic, preventing him from moving any closer to the Metarex. Sonic cried out painfully and flew towards the ground due to the force. Thankfully Knuckles jumped in and captured Sonic before he hit the ground, even though Knuckles managed to hurt himself during the process. Tails attempted to capture the Metarex using his X-Tornado, unfortunately for us, the Metarex was too quick for Tails to capture. Cream and I then ran towards Sonic and Knuckles to see of they were okay. Knuckles was very distant towards Sonic, and I couldn't blame him._

"_You didn't put up much of a fight against that thing, Sonic", Knuckles pointed out, "Are you sure you're feeling okay?"_

_Knuckles can be a complete douche bag at times, but for once he was right. Sonic was actually weaker than ever when he was fighting the Meratex. I'd never actually seen anything like it before in my life. What was __**wrong**__ with Sonic…?_

"_You don't seem like your old-self", I agreed. Sonic stared at me. I shivered slightly. _

"_It's been a long day", he shrugged, "So I guess I'm pretty tired-"_

_He stopped when he saw a green thing descending slowly from the sky right in front of him. I craned my neck to see who it was. It was the green girl. We all stared at her as she slowly approached us. She eventually landed onto the ground. Once she rubbed some debris off of her skirt, she smiled at Sonic._

"_My name is Cosmo", she announced. I fought the urge to smirk at her name. It wasn't her fault her name was so strange. Really._

"_I've come a long way to see you", she told Sonic, "I need to speak with you, Sonic"_

"…_Okay", Sonic answered cautiously. Cosmo clasped her hands together desperately, as though she was praying._

"_I have sought you out, because I know you have the power to control the Chaos Emeralds", she explained, "I have come here because you are the one who can rescue the galaxy", she then bowed at Sonic in gratitude. Sonic stared at her as if she was crazy._

"_I am?", he asked in disbelief._

_**He is?**__, I found myself thinking out loud. However, as I looked at Cosmo once more, by taking in her solemn facial expression and tone of voice, I could tell she was telling the truth…_

"_Guys!", we heard Tails shout in the distance as he ran towards us, "It's happening!"_

"_What's happening?", Knuckles demanded. Tails lead us towards the Master Emerald on Angel Island. It began to glow and fade in a continuous rhythm. I frowned at it. I'd never seen the Master Emerald do __**this**__ before, so… what was going on?_

_**Oh, that's great!**__, I thought to myself angrily, __**As if my day can't get any worse!**_

_We didn't dare approach the Master Emerald to an extent in case anything bad happened, like if we got electrocuted or anything like that. We stared at it helplessly as the glowing began to pulse to a great extent. I feared that the Master Emerald somewhat knew about the planet egg being stolen, and was going to assist in destroying the planet. I had never felt this terrified since the failed Doomsday during my membership in the cult…_

_The Master Emerald began to beam brighter. Nobody dared to say a word. I held my breath, awaiting the unknown outcome of the strange activity of the Master Emerald…_

_And then we saw it. A black figure emerging from the Master Emerald. Tails and I exchanged glances between us and then peered back at the figure. _

_**The figure moved towards us**__…_

"_Hey, that's Chris!", both Sonic and Knuckles exclaimed simultaneously. I wanted to smack their heads together for jumping to stupid conclusions, because of __**course **__it couldn't be Chris! He was back on Earth, and it was completely impossible for him, as well as ourselves, to travel to both Worlds. For crying out loud, it had been six months since we had last seen Chris! I'm __**certainly **__not into science, but even I knew that the possibility of the figure being Chris was very slim; it was just completely and utterly impossible._

_But then I heard a voice. His voice._

"… _It worked", a familiar voice croaked, "I-I… __**did**__ it! I actually did it!"_

_The figure focussed on Sonic._

"_Sonic!", the figure exclaimed happily before falling face-first onto the ground. We all stared at him as if he was a hallucination. But he was real. Too real. Sonic couldn't even believe it for himself. The figure remained silent for a few moments before he exclaimed in shock and horror. From my point of view, it looked like a child had been caught trying on his father's clothes. And __**then**__ I realised. _

_The figure wasn't a green alien like Cosmo, nor was it a Metarex or any kind of variation of an unknown species._

_The figure before us that was swamped in large clothing… __**was**__ Chris._

…_I'm so… shocked… that I have nothing else to write at this moment of time. Besides, there's too much going on as it is. I'm sure you understand, dear diary. I'll keep you up-to-date as soon as I can. Hopefully._

_Yours,_

_Amy._


	20. The Beginning Of The End

**Hey gusy! I'm so, so, so sorry that it's taken me so long to update this fic! Trust me; it's pretty difficult juggling my social life, work, and studying at the moment, so that means it's been even more difficult for me to update my fics every so often - but have no fear! I'm most certainly not abandoning my fics, for they mean the World to me!**

**Sooo, anyhoo, without further delay: here's the 20th entry!**

**Enjoy!**

**~Xoxomtmodnarxoxo**

**A/N: This entry takes place during episode 54 of 'Sonic X'. Dialogue belongs to 4Kids. Original dialogue (which is highlighted with an asterix '*' symbol - see below) belongs to me.**

**** Disclaimer: 'Facebook, Inc.' belongs to multi-millionaire Mark Zuckerberg.**

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_As promised, I am keeping you updated on the whole Cosmo/Chris crisis. There's been so many things said, so many things done, so many accusations been made towards one another, that this is the only opportunity that I have to write to you. It may seem like nothing, but this is something, something, something!_

_Why? Because we are now travelling into deep space!_

_So there was Cosmo, and then there was Chris. And at that moment of time I had bid farewell to having a normal life - a normal **day** for that matter! - before approaching Chris. In all honesty, I certainly felt like glaring into the sky above me and scream, "Well? Any more surprises up your sleeve?". But I didn't. Instead, I found myself overcome by the appearance of Chris. It felt unreal, but it **was **real! I was stunned… but happy. In fact, we were **all **overjoyed with the exception of Cosmo and Chris. Chris looked **horrified** at first. I felt a bit pissed off because I got the impression that he wasn't as happy to see us as we were to see him, and I was about to speak out before he blurted out unexpectedly:_

_"W-what's going on?", he demanded in an anxious tone. He then inspected his lab coat, "What happened to my clothes? Did I **shrink **or something?"_

_"Great to see ya, Chris!", Tails exclaimed happily, unable to control his excitement. I shook my head fondly at Tails's behaviour; he was acting like a toddler in a candy store. But then again, we all were, because we were so happy to see our old friend again!_

_"Tails… it's **you**!", Chris exclaimed, staring at him with disbelief. Cream then approached Chris in the calm and collected nature she used to approach everything in her life._

_"We've really missed you!", she piped up sweetly. Feeling left out, I ran towards Chris and happily nudged him with one elbow._

_"It's about **time** you showed up!", I joked, laughing._

_"Hey, Amy!", Chris exclaimed happily. I felt content the fact that he still recognised me; for I felt terrified over the idea of Chris forgetting who we were, because it would have felt as though we would not have been considered important enough to him. I also felt guilty at the same time. After boarding the Blue Typhoon (I'll tell you about that later on), I had read over what I had written about Chris in my earlier entries, and I felt awful because I had given you the impression that Chris was some loser who did nothing but whine and cling onto Sonic all of the time; as though he had some pathetic crush on Sonic, or whatever. It wasn't until I had arrived back home when I realised that Chris was just lonely because he had been neglected by his parents quite a lot and that because he was wealthy, he was possibly considered too posh, or whatever, to socialise with other 'normal' kids his age in the past that as a result, we were the closest thing to love and friendship within his complex lifestyle._

_It wasn't until then that I realised that I loved Chris dearly, and that he had become one of the closest friends I've ever had. I felt like scribbling those sections about Chris being an idiot out of my diary as my face flushed with embarrassment, but then I thought, "No, keep them… because this will be a lesson to you about judging others before you actually get to know them…"_

_And if Chris ever finds those descriptions about him (hopefully he never will!), I'll just do my best to explain what I meant by those comments._

_"It's good to see ya!", Knuckles greeted him as he playfully punched Chris's shoulder. I raised my eyelids at Knuckles; since he suddenly changed his attitude towards Chris. I had always got the impression that Knuckles found Chris as annoying as the rest of us - well, from his point-of-view, anyway. Sometimes I just don't understand Knuckles; he doesn't show a lot of respect to others and yet he expects **us** to respect **him**?_

_Ugh._

_Anyway, we began to fire questions at Chris; like how he was, what he had been up to, how school was… I eventually found the opportunity to ask Chris how Ella was doing, for I was desperate to hear about her after all this time. I pictured her back on Earth with Amy, her cactus; watering her everyday and talking to her, and continuing to look after Chris with great care. I actually wonder if Ella still thinks about me as much as I think about her; I wish there was at least one way to stay in contact with her. At least I still have this journal, and my small cookbook. Anyway, my question remained unanswered, which made me feel uneasy, however I promised myself that I would question Chris later, for I saw he was becoming smothered by the questions we were asking him._

_"Hey, one at a time!", he exclaimed happily. That was just it, though; we **couldn't **stop ourselves! We were just so desperate to catch up with six months worth of gossip that we barely noticed that Chris was practically begging for space to breathe!_

_Chris eventually smiled, ignoring us all except Sonic._

_"Ah!", he exclaimed happily, "Hi, Sonic!"_

_"How're ya doin', pal?", Sonic asked equally as happily and gave Chris a thumbs-up. Chris grinned and slowly approached Sonic._

_"Sonic", he repeated, "I… can't believe I'm really here!", he paused and remarked shyly, "It's been a long-time coming"_

_"I knew you'd get here sooner or later, buddy", Sonic remarked._

_"Y-you haven't changed a bit!", Chris commented. Then he looked at all of us, "Come to think of it", he muttered, "None of you have"_

_I fought the urge to smirk at his comment. How on Mobius could we have changed within the space of six months, for God's sake? Well, except for me… well, you know what I mean, right?_

_Cosmo nodded at Chris, acknowledging his existence. Chris nodded politely back and turned back once again to Sonic._

_"Doesn't look like you've changed much either", Sonic commented, "'cept for the baggy clothes! Is that some new style or something?"_

_Sonic was joking, but Chris seemed to have taken offence to his comment._

_"No!", he cried, "I don't know what's going o-"_

_But before he could continue, Sonic immediately passed out onto the ground in front of him. We all ran towards him to inspect his unconscious state. I have to admit, I was completely and utterly terrified, but thankfully Tails came to the rescue._

_"He's okay", he reported as he placed one hand on Sonic's forehead, "I think he's just exhausted"_

_"Yeah", Knuckles agreed, "I guess he still needs to recover after that battle"_

_"Sonic got injured in a battle?", Chris demanded, but due to my frantic state I barely noticed until Knuckles began to explain what had happened earlier on._

_We dragged poor Sonic back to Cream's house, where he was taken to bed to recover. As I sat downstairs, I kept looking towards the staircase leading up to Cream's bedroom, punishing myself for not having the guts to accompany Sonic and look after him. Well, we've only been going out for a few weeks now, so… our relationship's serious… right? I mean, we're quite close - but not **as **close as what we used to be, but we're working on it. That doesn't necessarily mean that I have to attend to his needs if and while he's poorly twenty-four hours a day. After all, he needs his personal space… and so do I. I think. So… did he expect me to be there beside him whilst he was unconscious? Well, not really, right? I mean, he wasn't even awake, for God's sake! Still, I couldn't stop myself wondering right there and then what my place or role, or whatever, was suppose to be at that moment of time. Have you ever wished that you had a clone? I did at that point; so that there would be one Amy enjoying Chris's company and another Amy looking after my boyfriend…_

_I decided to distract myself by joining the others in Cream's living room. We ignored the biscuits and cups of tea that were placed neatly on the coffee table; instead we stared at Cosmo instead, expecting answers._

_"Your friend Sonic was fighting against a Metarex", she stated, as though that piece of information was enough for us to understand the entire fiasco. But it didn't. It confused us even more._

_"A **Metarex**?", I found myself asking curiously._

_"I don't know how many there are", Cosmo explained, "But they've been attacking planets all over the galaxy…Their goal is to unify all the planets under one absolute rule-"_

_"Let me guess", Knuckles piped up, interrupting her, "**Their **rule"_

_**Jeez**, I thought to myself, **Give the girl a chance to talk, man!**_

_"That's right", Cosmo answered, unfazed by his rudeness, "They've already extinguished so many planets-"_

_"What do you mean '**extinguished**'?", I asked, beginning to panic. I honestly didn't like where this conversation was heading. Cosmo looked at me as if I was an idiot._

_"The Metarex don't just conquer planets, they take the Planet Eggs", she explained to me, as if I was a toddler. Thankfully Knuckles was just as confused as what I was._

_"The **what**?", he demanded._

_"The Planet Eggs are like the hearts of planets", Cosmo continued, "Without them, planets lose their power to nurture and sustain life… they become just cold, barron rocks drifting through space…", she paused and looked at us, a terrified expression on her face, "And now that they've taken your Planet Egg, your world will soon wither away like the others have"_

_There was a terrible silence; so terrible that not even a cricket could be heard outside in Cream's garden. Nobody dared to ask the dreaded question that lurked in our minds. I was eventually the first to break it._

_"Our planet will **die**?", I asked in a small voice. There was an awful taste in my mouth when I uttered the words and I felt a bit shaky at the sudden memory of standing on the Emerald Hills, awaiting for the supposed Apocalypse to take place not so long ago. But that was then, and this was now. It was different back then, since the end of Mobius was all a lie, but Cosmo's warning about the Metarex made the possibility of the end of Mobius seem more likely compared to a 'prophet' made by an idiot in order to make a bit of money…_

_I clenched my fists as I recalled Silver, but I continued to stare at Cosmo._

_"That's right", she whispered._

_"Excuse my asking", interrupted the ever-pleasant Knuckles (note my sarcasm, heh-heh), "But how do we know you're not on **their** side?"_

_Even though Knuckles was being completely inconsiderate towards Cosmo's warnings, he had a point. We barely even knew Cosmo at that point. How were we to know who she **really** was?_

_Cosmo took offence._

_"Because I'm **not**!", she protested angrily, even standing up from her chair to prove her innocence, "The Metarex are vicious, and they'll wipe out anything that gets in their way! I am **not **with them! You **have** to believe me!"_

_"I wish I could", Knuckles snarled, arms folded tightly._

_"At least let's hear her out", Chris pleaded, trying to keep the peace. Cosmo stood firmly on her feet._

_"I came here so that what happened to me might not happen to all of you", tears began to form in her eyes, "My planet is… gone. Everyone I loved; my family, my friends are…", and at that point she collapsed into tears, "… Everything! Everything is gone!"_

_Nobody said a word. Even Knuckles managed to hold his tongue._

* * *

_*****"I need a coffee", Tails grumbled as we waited in the hallway for Chris. I smirked, understanding his pain._

_"Yeah", I agreed, "Even **this **is too much for me to handle!"_

_"Ya know", he confided, "When Cosmo told us about the Metarex wanting to destroy our planet, I felt so… helpless. For one mad moment, I was actually going to drop down onto my knees and pray to God, like some loony-"_

_I flinched. Tails noticed my reaction._

_"Sorry! Sorry!", he protested, holding his hands up in defence._

_"It's okay", I muttered, though I didn't **feel** okay. Just the thought of having to go through the idea of Mobius ending once again was enough to make my quills turn grey. I fought the urge to vomit._

_"It's just… you know what I mean", he tried to explain. I nodded. I knew exactly how it felt._

_"I hope we weren't too hard on her", I confessed, "I wish Knuckles wasn't so stubborn at times"_

_"Nah", Tails commented, "That's a good thing, because that means he has the courage to question someone or something that makes us all feel suspicious and yet we're too afraid to speak out against it"_

_"Good point", I remarked, "So… what do you think of Cosmo?"_

_"Not sure", Tails answered, "I'll tell ya this, though, I actually feel sorry for her-"*****_

_Before he could continue, Chris suddenly entered the hallway and closed the door behind him._

_"She's calmed down a little", he reported, "I think she'll be okay"_

_"I can't believe Knuckles was giving that poor thing such a hard time!", I continued before I could stop myself. Hey, if I want to express how I feel, then damn it, I'll do it._

_"**I **can't believe you built a teleporting machine in only six months!", Tails exclaimed excitedly. I rolled my eyes. There he was; Miles Prowers: Mini-Chuck._

_"Only six months?", Chris repeated with disbelief, "No wonder you all look exactly as I remember you!"_

_"Chris is acting kinda funny, Amy", Tails hissed to me._

_"Don't forget; he's human", I whispered back, as though it explained everything. I wasn't meaning to actually insult Chris, but I felt his eyes on me as I whispered to Tails. I think he heard what I had said._

_"Back home it's been six years since I saw you", he paused and folded his arms, "I guess I still have a lot to learn about teleportation"_

_"If it's been six years", Tails asked out loud, "How come you still look the same?"_

_"I'm just as confused as you are, Tails", Chris admitted, a defeated look on his face._

_I giggled out loud. I honestly couldn't help it; they were acting like such nerds, it wasn't even true._

_"We'll figure it out", I informed them to stop them from prattling on about science and crap. To avoid confusion, we decided to go upstairs to check up on Sonic… only to find him missing and Cream's bedroom window wide open._

_"He doesn't even say goodbye!", I exclaimed angrily, but I smirked to myself when Chris and Tails weren't looking. Sonic was back to his usual self again - at least that was one less thing to worry about._

* * *

_Oh, I can't even explain how funny it was seeing Vanilla offering Chris smaller clothes that she had bought! The thought was kind as well as practical; since Cream, Vanilla, and myself seem to be the only ones who care about wearing clothes around here, we couldn't very well offer Chris a frock or a pair of heels to keep him going. Still, the idea of Chris dressing like a transvestite was enough for me to snort out loud and bite my cheeks with desperation to stop myself from laughing._

_"… At least **he **didn't get the emeralds!", a familiar voice piped up from outside the window. The image of Chris as a transvestite vanished in my mind as we all stopped and approached Sonic, who stood outside talking to Cosmo._

_"You must have been pretty wiped out after fighting that thing", Tails began._

_"I was", Sonic admitted confidently, "When I transformed into Super-Sonic, I thought It'd be a synch, but, boy, was I wrong!"_

_"Sonic, listen", Cosmo chipped in, "The Metarex are extremely powerful; they've travelled through space and taken every egg from every planet they've encountered"_

_Even that didn't concern Sonic._

_"There's nothing to worry about as long as Sonic's on the scene, Cosmo", he reassured her, as though he was God himself, "We'll get all the Planet Eggs back - I promise!"_

_I heart very nearly skipped a beat. God; Sonic can be **so** sexy when he's confident!_

_"A dangerous quest in outer space!", I exclaimed happily, "Could anything be more romantic?"_

_"Cheese and I wouldn't miss an adventure like this!", Cream piped in._

_"You can count me in, Sonic!", Tails added._

_"I wanna go, too!", Chris pleaded, "I've been waiting six years to have another adventure with you!"_

_"Great!", Sonic exclaimed and then he pointed towards the sky, "Then it's settled: We're going into outer space!"_

_We all exclaimed happily. In all honesty, I was actually joking about the travelling-into-space thing, but Sonic was serious. So was Tails. It turned out Tails had built some fortress-thing in his spare time, which he was dying to try out for the first time: The Blue Typhoon. Tails didn't have any Chaos Emerald to power it, so we ended up 'stealing' the Master Emerald from Knuckles - to which he protested angrily. We tried to explain why we took it, but he refused to listen to us._

_"We're going to travel across the Galaxy, battle Metarex, and save planets!", Cream exclaimed, "Doesn't it sound like the best adventure ever?"_

_"It sounds just **peachy**", Knuckles snarled and screamed, "**NOW GIVE ME BACK THAT EMERALD, SONIC, OR I'LL COME UP THERE AND TAKE IT**!"_

_"Listen to you!", Cream snapped, "You should be ashamed!"_

_"The fate of the entire Galaxy is at stake!", Cosmo argued. Knuckles began to look a little bit uneasy. I decided that it wasn't enough and jumped in._

_"But if you won't listen to reason", I explained, pulling out my Piko-Piko hammer, "Maybe I can knock some reason **into** you! It'd be a pleasure!"_

_I'm happy to say that poor Knuckles didn't have the chance to defend himself as Cream, Cosmo, and myself attacked him simultaneously. He was so desperate he actually shouted at Sonic to help him. Thank God Sonic was on our side. Enough said, heh-heh._

_It wasn't long after that we were beginning to prepare for our trip into outer space: Tails was in charge of preparing the Blue Typhoon with Chris helping him, Sonic and Knuckles help fill the Typhoon with stuff such as wooden planks and other things, and Cream and I packed our belongings as well as collecting food supplies. Along the way, we found Cosmo sitting by herself, her head down. Cream was the first to approach her._

_"Hi, Cosmo", Cream greeted her. Cosmo lifted her head to look at us. Cream dumped her carrier bags onto the ground._

_"Would you mind carrying these downhill, please?", she asked sweetly. I looked at her, confused over why she couldn't do the job herself, and then it dawned on me; it was an ice-breaker, to get to know Cosmo better and involve her in our tasks._

_"Oh!", Cosmo exclaimed and suddenly stood up, "Okay!"_

_She attempted to pick up all of the carrier bags. Cream and I watched her with doubt._

_"Are you sure you can handle it?" Cream asked._

_"I g-got it", Cosmo muttered as she hauled the bags into her arms. She toppled over due to the weight and rolled down the hill, Cream's belongings and food spilling out messily onto the green field._

_"She doesn't have it!", Cream muttered._

_"I-I'm… okay", Cosmo called out from down the hill. We raced down to see if she really was okay._

_"Cosmo!", Cream cried out._

_"Are you alright?", I asked her. Cosmo sat up and looked at me._

_"I think so", she answered back. I smirked slightly. Cosmo was alright - friend-wise - a bit clumsy, but nice enough. Just at that moment, the skies darkened and brightened again. The sound of a space craft roared over our heads. And with that, an explosion took place nearby on a cliff._

_"A Metarex!", Cosmo cried out fearfully. We saw what looked like a giant robot positioning itself firmly on the ground… and suddenly aimed its missiles at Tails's workshop! But before we could react, Sonic and Knuckles were at the scene attacking the huge the robot. It was a pretty impressive battle, and I almost forgot we were in danger and I was beginning to enjoy myself when my new watch suddenly beeped. I opened it up and saw Tails's face on the small LCD screen. This was another brilliant invention Tails had come up with; instead of walkie-talkies, we have interactive wristwatches that have the ability to allow us to contact one another through a tiny web-cam. It's a shame it doesn't have Facebook******. But that's not the point._

_"You're ready?", I asked, "We're leaving now?"_

_"Soon", Tails reassured me, "But we have to activate the Master Emerald first, so we need Knuckles", Tails suddenly looked sheepish, "Would you mind finding him for me?"_

_I closed my wristwatch. There was no way in Hell that I was going to get involved in the battle that was taking place only a couple of feet away from me, just to get Knuckles so that he could activate the stupid Emerald!_

_"The time's almost here", I announced, "Cream, go find Knuckles and tell him Tails needs him on the ship. Cosmo, you come with me, and get the supplies aboard"_

_"What's going on?" Cosmo asked fearfully._

_"Tails is almost ready to power up his new ship", I explained, "And he needs Knuckles to activate the Master Emerald"_

_Cosmo and I raced to the ship with the supplies, and began to store them inside the ship. Cosmo was working so slowly that it almost irritated me. I actually commented on this, poor girl, and watched her as she attempted to go back for another bag… and ended up on her back! I stopped bothering her after that._

_Without warning, Tails had activated the Blue Typhoon, and the ship began to force it's way out under the layers of ground - since it was built underground - and began to rise into the air. I remained in one of the many rooms where the supplies were placed in the Blue Typhoon, unable to bring myself to watch the supposed battle that took place outside, so I can't really comment on what had actually happened._

_"Sonic!", Tails announced through a speaker, "We're gonna use the Main cannon: stand by!"_

_I frowned to myself. What the Hell was the 'Main Cannon'? Whatever it was, it must have been extremely powerful, because Chris's voice suddenly announced: "Attention everyone! Brace yourselves!"_

_I suddenly no longer cared. Instead of 'bracing myself', I simply collapsed to the ground, resting against our supplies, with exhaustion. Then, there was an almighty rumble, and an explosion followed shortly after. And then… we were **flying**. It felt so strange to take off in the air without seatbelts. I no longer felt fear; only excitement. I stood up suddenly and looked at Cream and then Cosmo._

_"Let's go up to the bridge!", I begged. When we finally reached the bridge, I was amazed at the view. The view of the horizon was simply dazzling; it felt as though I was actually falling in love with it: the clear blue skies, the bright sunshine, the ocean that sparkled underneath the Sun… it was enough to make anybody smile._

_And then I noticed Sonic nearby. I smiled to myself._

_"Hey!", I called out happily. Sonic turned round and smiled at me. And for a moment, we shared a special connection. It felt as though it was just the two of us on the ship, flying up to Cloud Number Nine, starting a new adventure together after everything we had been through. I suddenly no longer cared about the past. The most important thing now was the future. **Our** future…_

_And of course, Sonic had to ruin it by ruffling his quills. He then frowned and pulled something out of his quills. It looked like a tiny device._

_"I wonder what this is", he remarked._

_"You wonder what 'what' is?", Tails asked curiously._

_"This thing on my head…", Sonic explained. I rolled my eyes at him, but in a sense he was right: there was no time for romance. We had a job to do; and that was to begin saving the Galaxy from the Metarex._

_You can only imagine how much my life has changed dramatically, so I'll try and keep you up-to-date as much as possible. And who knows? I might actually have my romantic encounter in deep space… After all, anything's possible since we're actually travelling through the Galaxy…_

_Ciao for now!_

_Amy._


	21. The Third Wheel

**Hey guys! Here's the twenty-first entry! Enjoy!**

**~Xoxomtmodnarxoxo**

**A/N: Dialogue belongs to 4Kids (wherever it can be found, to be honest, it's a mixture of the dubbed dialogue from 4Kids and original dialogue from myself throughout this chapter, so if you've seen episode 55 of 'Sonic X', you'll see where I'm coming from lol!), original narration belongs to me. The group of aliens belongs to Sega/Sonic Team.**

**As seen in episode 55 of 'Sonic X'.**

*** Reference to 'Xena: Warrior Princess' which belongs to Robert Tapert.**

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_In all honesty, I was kind of joking when I wrote in my last entry that our journey into the Galaxy would mean endless romantic encounters between me and Sonic… but who'd have thought that __**I'd**__ be the heroine for once; saving my beloved Sonic from the clutches of Evil! In fact, as I'm writing this, I can still feel the adrenaline pumping throughout my body. When I rescued Sonic, I felt freakin' invincible… if only Sonic felt the same way! God, what is __**with**__ men? They go around acting like our Knights in shining armour and try to protect us from evil, but when __**we **__- and I mean women, here - try to protect __**them**__ from evil in return, men act as though they are insulted; as though their masculinity is threatened, for God's sake._

_Anyway, that's my two-cents for just now. Let me explain._

_So, Knuckles told us this morning that the Master Emerald was reacting to a powerful force, and claimed that a Chaos Emerald had to be nearby. So Tails activated a search panel which covered a large area of the Galaxy surrounding the Blue Typhoon and managed to find a planet called Zecko (I have no idea how it's actually spelt so I'm guessing!)._

"_And, according to my Galactic guidebook", Sonic chipped in, "It's dry as a bone!"_

_Although I usually trust Sonic, I couldn't help but feel doubtful when he told us that. I recalled when we had to uncover the mystery behind the disappearance of the G.U.N. soldiers and the origin of Marisia back on Earth (As mentioned in my third entry… Jesus Christ; I've just had a peek of what I had written back then, and I had completely forgotten about the dream I had of Shadow! It… it just brings back hurtful memories. Enough said.), Sonic had found out too late that the main are where Marisia was suppose to be was on water, and I remember him freaking out. That was just it; I felt doubtful because Sonic is never the best person to rely on when it comes to Geography because he always assumes that there will be enough land for him to run about on… and… well… I couldn't help but notice that his Galactic guidebook looked quite __**old**__. Yet, everybody else - Knuckles in particular - seemed eager enough to find the Chaos Emerald, so you know the saying: If you can't beat them, __**join**__ them!_

"_Tails!", I suddenly commanded, "We're gonna land on Planet Zecko and find that Emerald! Let's go!" _

_For a split second, Sonic looked at me with admiration, as if he fully respected me for taking matters into my own hands rather than blending into the background and let others push me around. I felt my face turning pink with delight and I grinned sheepishly… and I got it into my head that if I was lucky, Sonic would sweep me off of my feet, tell me how wonderful I am, and surprise me with a passionate kiss…_

_Of course, for a girl such as myself, a romantic fantasy like that is just too much to ask for. I found my fantasy tearing apart in my mind as I heard Tails mumble in the background, "__**I'm**__ suppose to give the orders…"_

"_Just do it!", I ordered, exasperated. The coordinates were typed in, the plans were made, and then we were on our way to Planet Zecko. Everything was going well until we gradually reached the planet. The first thing I noticed about Zecko was the fact that the Planet was… blue. __**Very**__ blue. I glanced at Sonic. He looked relaxed to begin with, but when he saw Planet Zecko himself, he began to tense up. _

"_According to the scope", Chris told us, "There's a lot of water on this world!"_

"_Oh no!", Sonic exclaimed, "We can't land __**here**__! There's gotta some kind of mistake!"_

"_Tough luck, Sonic", Knuckles chortled. I couldn't help but smirk. I felt bad for Sonic, but that's what he gets for referring to a guidebook that's seriously out-dated._

_He began to panic as we landed the Blue Typhoon onto the surface of the ocean and prepared for our mission, and immediately ran up to Tails._

"_You must have made a wrong turn, Tails!", he debated, "The guidebook says this planet's dry!"_

"_Don't blame me, Sonic", Tails answered, "Sounds like your Galactic guidebook is seriously out-of-date!"_

_Yep; Tails owned Sonic. Which was a shock, really, because Tails is a lot like me; he normally agrees with whatever Sonic says just to try and please him, and to see him answer Sonic like that… Wow._

_So, we got out our mini-submarines and made our away across the ocean onto the main land. When we eventually reached the main land, I got out of my own mini-submarine and peered at the landscape. It was nothing but dry rock and desert. My heart began to thump at the idea of spending hours - possibly even __**days**__ - trying to find the Chaos Emerald in amongst the sand under the hot Sun… not exactly my idea of Heaven…_

"_Are you __**sure **__the Chaos Emerald's somewhere nearby?", I asked Knuckles doubtfully._

"_I couldn't be surer", Knuckles answered smugly._

"_What makes you so certain we'll find the it __**here**__, Knuckles?", Cosmo asked. Her question did sound a bit rude, but in all honesty, she was saying aloud what we were all thinking. Yet, that still didn't faze Knuckles._

"_Because I've got a natural knack for finding things", he replied, as though it was the answer to all of Cosmo's questions._

"_Oh", she mumbled. 'Oh' was the best reaction to the idea of Knuckles pulling out his Shovel-claws. I seriously hate those Shovel-claws, possibly because one time Knuckles was showing them off by wearing them and swung his fists randomly to impress us, only he accidentally hit me on the arm and left a large scratch on my skin. I still have the scar to remind me of what he did. Anyway, I closed my eyes, praying silently that Knuckles __**wouldn't**__ use the blessed things to find the Chaos Emerald. Only I was out of luck when I re-opened my eyes and found Knuckles slipping the Shovel-claws onto his gloves, pleased with himself._

_**Ah, yep**__, I thought to myself despairingly, __**There ya go.**_

"_I'll show ya!", Knuckles insisted, and before we could even blink, he burrowed himself into the sand and began to dig his way around us. Cream then produced a bucket and spades._

"_Why don't we dig for the Chaos Emerald, too?", she suggested. So then Cosmo and Cream began to scrape through one small area of the sand. I didn't particularly fancy the idea of having sand slip into my boots and up my dress, so I left them to it._

"_This is gonna be a long day", I muttered, and ditched them. To be honest, I __**was**__ in a bit of a bad mood at the time, and I simply wanted time to myself. It wasn't due to the fact that the Sun was too hot or Cream and Cosmo were being painstakingly slow; I felt angry because… well… I felt lonely. I know that sentence sounds over-exaggerated, but that was honestly how I was feeling at the time. It was because of Chris. Okay, I __**am**__ happy the fact that he's joined us on our quest to save the Galaxy, and it's been great to catch up with him and how he's been doing on Earth, but now that he's back in the picture… I feel as though Sonic has pushed me aside to hang out with Chris instead. I know it sounds awful for me to say such a thing, but I can't help but feel this way. I can't even get a chance to talk to Sonic on his own because whenever I do, Chris is automatically there; as though he's there on purpose to make me feel uncomfortable. And because of that, I feel a distance growing between me and Sonic to the point where we barely speak to one another now and instead acknowledge one another through quick glances and one or two-word answers. _

_And I don't want to blame Chris either, because he's a dear friend of mine but it's just that… he's always in the __**way**__. Sometimes I wish that he didn't always rely on Sonic's help, and realise that we - what I refer to as the entire gang - need Sonic's help just as much as he does, and that he sometimes just needs to take a backseat and allow us to see Sonic ourselves without having to literally wrench them apart with a crowbar._

_I sniffed as I wandered around the sandy trails of the dry land. __**Sure, Sonic can see Chris whenever he wants**__, I thought to myself, __**it's a free country… but I'll be damned if I'm gonna lose my boyfriend over some… human-**_

_And that was where I stopped myself. I put my hand over my mouth to prevent any sound coming out, although I was very well aware that I did not say it aloud; I had simply thought it. Even so, no matter how many times Chris got in the way of me and Sonic, there was one thing that I __**certainly**__ wasn't going to become, and that was a racist._

_It wasn't until I had regained myself that I had noticed something suspicious; there was a figure behind a large boulder watching me. I peered in their direction, trying to work out who it was. When they gradually emerged from behind the boulder, the figure was wrapped in a large overall, along with an additional overall that covered the majority of their face, leaving their eyes to have the ability to see. The figure stared at me at first, and then slowly but surely shuffled towards me, as though I were Dr. Eggman in disguise._

_Yikes - even I found that to be in bad taste!_

"_Can I… help you?", I asked them cautiously._

"_You're friends with a blue hedgehog, aren't you?", the figure asked. I smirked._

"_Well", I answered, not wanting to sound boastful, "You __**might**__ say that we're quite inseparable…"_

_But when I looked into the figure's eyes, I could see fear and doubt running through their minds._

"_Why, what is it?", I demanded, panicking, "What __**is**__ it?"_

"_The blue hedgehog, the one you're friends with", the figure informed me, "He's been kidnapped!"_

_I stopped on my tracks. Half of me wanted to grab the stranger by the shoulders and demand answers, and yet half of me wanted to run away from the unknown dangers around me. The stranger led me to their dark, underground base and told me what had happened. It turned out that Sonic had been abducted by a Metarex, and 'the human' - who I assumed was Chris - had fled the scene. I wanted to punch Chris for his ignorance, but then I reconsidered: With Chris out of the scene, and with me being the only one who knew about Sonic's predicament, it meant only one thing - I was going to rescue Sonic! The idea inspired me; as though I were a female warrior of some kind*. For once, __**I **__was going to be the hero, not the damsel in distress! _

_I found myself grinning, despite the awful news. __**Screw Chris!**__, I thought happily to myself, __**I'll rescue Sonic all by myself!**_

_When I revealed to the stranger what I was planning to do, they recoiled in shock._

"_You can't take on a Metarex by yourself!", they protested, "The Metarex are too strong!"_

"_I __**can **__do it!", I protested, "I have my Piko Piko hammer after all!"_

"_M-maybe we should wait for that Human being to come back?", the stranger suggested cautiously._

"_What?", I demanded, offended, "After that failed act of heroism? Forget it!"_

"_You don't know what you're up against!", the stranger argued. I stopped and stared at him hard._

"_Who do you think I am?", I demanded, "I've got this big-ass hammer, and I'm not afraid to use it! What makes you think I'm not capable to take the Metarex on?"_

"_Look, let's…", the stranger paused, "Let me take you to where your friend's being held hostage, and we can decide on what to do there, okay?"_

"_No!", I cried, "It damn well isn't! What does Chris have that I don't?"_

"_He has advanced technology", another voice piped up. I turned around to find a __**crowd**__ of people draped in overalls lurking within the darkness. They approached me warily in case I was a spy for the Metarex, which I, personally, found insulting._

"_Without help", one of them piped up, "You won't survive; you need assistance should you wish to rescue the blue hedgehog-"_

"_I don't __**need **__assistance!", I insisted, "I can do this all by myself!"_

"_Do you even know where you're going?"_

"_Well… no-"_

"_Then let us help you out at the very least. We know where abouts your friend is just now, and we can escort you there without being hurt by the Metarex. That way, we can guide you and show you how to attack the Metarex and prevent yourself from being hurt in any way"_

"_But", I struggled, "But-"_

"_We know you want to do this alone, but you're just one small hedgehog", another explained, "Your human friend can provide you with protection and strength and together you have a better chance of defeating the Metarex once and for all!"_

_The group of aliens had a point. I couldn't go alone; I had absolutely no idea __**how**__ dangerous the Metarex actually were, and if I wasn't careful, I could have easily been killed. I flipped open my tiny transmitter (remember the wristwatch-thing?), and contacted Tails. With any luck, I would be able to gain support from Tails and Chris before it was too late…_

_Thank God Tails answered his own transmitter._

"_It's Amy", I told him, "I'm calling from under the island"_

"_I've got bad news about Sonic", he admitted._

"_He got captured", I chipped in, helping him._

"_How'd you find that out?"_

"_I just made a whole bunch of new friends! They saw the Metarex capturing Sonic"_

"_We gotta go rescue him, Amy!", I could hear Chris scream in the background. I frowned slightly._

"_**I'll **__take care of it, Chris!", I insisted, "These folks'll show me where Sonic's being held", I couldn't help it, but I began to imagine how Sonic would react if I __**did**__ rescue him. I pictured myself fighting my way through the evil Metarex, running up to the top of the base where Sonic would be, and when I forced my way into the base… Sonic would flash a relieved, loving smile at me, his eyes filled with warmth, gratitude, and love…_

"… _When he sees me coming", I explained dreamily, "His heart will start pounding faster than my hammer!", I giggled fondly. I could actually __**see **__it happening before me: I would rescue Sonic from the evil clutches of the Metarex, untie him and allow him to gaze at me lovingly as I would flick my quills back and batter my eyelashes at him in a flirtatious manner…_

* * *

"_**Thanks for saving me, Amy!", he would say.**_

"_**My pleasure Sonic", I would reply breathlessly.**_

"_**Amy, you're the most **_**beautiful**_** girl in the universe!"**_

"_**Oh, Sonic! Really?"**_

"_**Now, I've seen what a fool I've been for waiting so long! Amy, will you marry me?", he would ask eagerly as he would cup his hands over mine. I haven't really decided yet if I would swoon dramatically or run into his arms - but if I would have to choose between the two, it would definitely be swooning dramatically - and then I would simper and exclaim, "Oh, Sonic! Of course I Will!"**_

_**And with, we would lunge ourselves at one another, uniting one another with a passionate kiss. But, oh, I couldn't stop there! I then began to imagine what my engagement ring would look like (I quite like the idea of a ring that has a mixture of both clear and pink diamonds on the design), and my wedding dress (DEFINITELY a strapless, silk gown, though I'm not sure that wearing a white dress would be appropriate…), and I imagined our wedding taking place in a church (DEFINITELY NOT in the Emerald Hills), and where we would live after our marriage; maybe a villa? An apartment? Of course, I could use my inheritance from Mom and buy us a bigger house once the children arrive… how many would we have? Two? Three? Would I rather have boys or girls? And then I could cook roasts on Sundays, and then we could enjoy each other's company and live long, full lives…**_

* * *

"_Um", a voice croaked from the transmitter, "Excuse me?"_

_I stopped and found the group of aliens staring at me as though there was foam escaping from my mouth._

"_Did I say some things aloud about Sonic?", I hissed to one of them. They nodded awkwardly, a bemused expression in their eyes. _

_I wanted the ground to swallow me up. I then glanced at my transmitter. I know it seemed incredibly stupid at that moment of time, considering the circumstances, but __**what**__**if**__ Sonic had heard all of this on the other end of the transmitter…? What if he __**wasn't **__kidnapped, and was simply trying to embarrass me as much as possible by pretending to be kidnapped and listen to me make a sceptical of myself by acting out a scene from one of my fantasies in a melodramatic way._

_There was only one way to find out._

"_Is that you, Sonic?", I asked cautiously, feeling my face burn._

"_No, it's me, Chris!", Chris practically shouted on the other end of the transmitter, deafening me, "We have to rescue Sonic right away, Amy!"_

_And this was where I lost the plot entirely: Not only did Chris ruin my fantasy, and turn me into a third wheel around Sonic, but he was also trying to tell me __**how **__to rescue my own beloved? How dare he! Screw the aliens that advised me that working as a team would make a difference - I wasn't taking orders from __**Chris**__!_

"_What do you mean '__**we**__'?", I demanded, "I don't need a chaperone!"_

"… _okay", Chris mumbled on the other end. I suddenly felt braver than ever; at least the message got through to Chris._

"_Tails", I ordered, "I'll need some time to set Sonic free. Pick us up in the X-Tornado in an hour - got it?"_

"_Sure, Amy", was my reply. Taking a deep breath. I turned around to the aliens._

"_Now", I continued, "Take me to the secret layer!"_

* * *

_It's a shame that the evil lair had such nice surroundings considering the bright, blue sky, the sparkling ocean, and the glittering sand surrounding it. At first, I felt as though I had been dragged to the wrong place, and I looked to the aliens for reassurance._

"_This is the only entrance", explained one of them who - in my opinion - looked like a crumpled prune, and whom I assumed was the leader of the group. I stared at him and then back at the lair and it's beautiful surroundings. It just goes to show you how looks can be deceiving._

"_I'm afraid it would be impossible to reach your friend", he continued._

"_I'll get in", I reassured him._

"_How can you?", he asked._

"_I'll use a little friendly persuasion"_

"_I warn you: those guards are vicious!"_

_Clearly these aliens had not come into contact with persuasive beings, such as myself, before. I looked at the 'guards', and burst out laughing at the sight of fish trudging along the sand. They were __**fish**__, for God's sake! Not huge evil monsters similar to what Dr. Eggman would design! They looked as though they would be vulnerable to the strength of my Piko Piko Hammer._

"_So am I!", I boasted and pulled out my Piko Piko hammer, and ran straight towards the Metarex. What I assumed would be a relatively easy task had gradually turned into a living nightmare. The Metarex standing guard outside the lair were easy to get rid of, but when I stepped __**inside**__ the lair, I realised too late that there were __**hundreds**__ of Metarex fish standing guard. I prayed silently in my head and lunged myself at them. I ran up a spiral staircase, smacking the Metarex out of the way whilst doing so. I soon found myself out of breath, and desperate for a drink of water._

"_Sonic!", I shouted loudly. I heard muffled voices behind one door. Taking chances, I swung it open to find a giant Metarex fish with Sonic tied to the end of a fishing line, ready to be eaten by a shark…_

_I badly wanted to scream with laughter at the irony, but I couldn't do that! I was meant to be the hero!_

_I jumped out to save Sonic… only for him to swing away at the last minute, causing me to fall instantly into the pool of water. Although it was quite refreshing, I couldn't help but feel unappreciated._

"_You're supposed to catch me!", I shouted. Sonic smirked sheepishly._

"_Oh, sorry", was my reply. What a cunt. Yet, a part of me still loved him to bits. Guess which part won me over at that moment of time?_

"_Amy, look out!", Sonic shouted. I glared back at him, aware that there was something dangerous lurking behind me in the water. Honestly, he gave the impression that I couldn't fight my own battles; as though I were a stereotypical damsel in distress! The dangerous creature behind me - which I assumed was a shark - didn't stand a chance against me as I swung my Hammer against it. I then jumped out of the water, struck the Metarex with my Hammer, grabbed the pole that Sonic was tied to and ran like Hell. I knew that Sonic was being thrown around against the staircase as we descended to the ground floor, but I couldn't stop: not only did we not have the time, but I __**wanted **__to show Sonic that I was capable of saving him by myself. I thought that everything was going well… until we were cornered by two Metarex. I stopped, my heart beating wildly, wondering what to do. There was no way out! We were going to die…_

"_Amy!", I heard Tails shout from outside. Taking chances, I swung my Hammer against the wall beside me and jumped into thin air with Sonic crying out from behind…_

_I expertly landed on the X-Tornado, clinging onto the pole with Sonic shouting out from behind for us to let him go. I tossed my quills at the thought - no __**way **__was Sonic going to ruin my one and only chance of being the heroine! I thought we were free, but to my horror the remaining Metarex shot what looked like daggers at us. Tails managed to manoeuvre the X-Tornado out of the way just in time, and we mocked the Metarex for failing to attack us. I laughed and grinned foolishly… and then I noticed that there was no blue hedgehog tied up at the end of the long piece of string!_

_Instead, Sonic remained tied up as he fell towards the Ocean below us. I wanted to die right there and then. _

"_Next time you want to rescue me, __**don't**__!", Sonic shouted at me. I felt tears form in my eyes. He was right; it was so obvious that I couldn't handle a simple rescue mission. I felt completely worthless._

_Then another plane appeared out of nowhere. It turned out to be Chris, and he shot a red beam-thing at Sonic which helped his shoes transform into what used to look like… Shadow's shoes…_

_Before we knew it, Sonic was levitating just above the water._

"_How's he __**doing**__ that?", I shouted, confused._

"_They're Hover shoes, Amy!", Tails informed me, "Now __**that's**__ an inventive invention!"_

"_Thanks, Tails!", Chris called from his flight craft. I felt envy swarm throughout my body. It was just sooo unfair! __**I**__ wanted to rescue Sonic! So now it felt as though I was a third wheel in rescue missions, too. Great._

_I distracted my envy by looking behind me._

"_Guys!", I shouted, "Look! More Metarex on the way!"_

_Yet, we didn't have to worry - Sonic glided towards the approaching Metarex. I expected the worst to happen… but Sonic had managed to fight his way through the entire lot. Before we knew it, there was an almighty splash… and the Metarex were officially defeated, leaving Sonic hovering above the water proudly._

"_Couldn't have done it without you, Chris!", he called out. I suddenly felt hurt. It was clear that Chris was more reliable than I ever could be._

_A glow above the ocean was visible, which it descended into the waters. The Planet Egg. As soon as it slowly sunk towards the planet's core, the oceans began to vanish and more continental lithosphere emerged from underneath. To my surprise, the main city of the Planet began to rise from underneath the ocean, where it had presumably been lurking before the ocean levels had risen. It's actually a very picturesque city, with tall buildings and fantastic architecture. And to top things off, Cream and Cosmo had managed to find the Chaos Emerald __**without**__ Knuckles's help. It's safe to say that Sonic was more than happy to be back on the solid ground, as he happily ran along the solid ground whilst enjoying the hot sunshine, whilst we watched happily from behind. It wasn't until then that I realised that in the end I really did need help saving Sonic; if it wasn't for Tails, Sonic and I would have been cornered and possibly attacked by the Metarex inside the base, for we would have had no other way to escape from them, and if it wasn't for Chris, Sonic would have fallen into the ocean and drowned since he was tied up. I suppose I should be grateful that I have friends who are there to back me up whenever I need help the most. Since we all have different strengths and abilities, we are able to take on even the most dangerous threat by working together, and although I relied on Tails's and Chris's help in the end to rescue Sonic, at least I have proven to Sonic that I'm not afraid to take on a challenge, and that I care about him enough to fully take on Metarex by myself. I suppose, in the end, Chris wasn't too annoying. Compared to the Chris I knew back on Earth, __**this**__ Chris has proven that he can be useful due to his new knowledge in technology and science so… in a sense he has improved and is __**not**__ clinging to Sonic like a baby, standing in the background all of the time. He at least contributes to our missions now, rather than getting himself into trouble six months ago._

_So… Chris is okay, really, no matter how much he seems to annoy me. Perhaps I need to hang out with him more just to get to know him. I shouldn't really feel jealous of Chris; he's my friend as well as Sonic's, so it's not as if he's doing this to deliberately annoy me. I mean, it's natural that Chris would rather hang out with male friends rather than female friends, just like I would tend to hang out with Cream more than I would hang out with Tails…_

… _Maybe I've been too harsh on him?_

_Anyway, I'll keep you up-to-date with what's going on. Apparently, the aliens that live on this planet want to thank us for our help, and I've heard something about a party…_

_Hmm. Perhaps this would be a good time to apologise to Chris for the way I've been treating him._

_Wish me luck!_

_Yours,_

_Amy._


	22. Entr'acte

**Dear Readers**,

Throughout my years on Fan Fiction, I have across great stories in which I have become a devoted reader and reviewer for the authors of the stories; eagerly anticipating and reading their latest chapters and reviewing their work. As a result, I have always been disappointed if my favourite writers had abandoned or had simply forgotten to update their stories…

As a writer, I have never imagined that I would end up doing relatively the same thing.

I have always been honest to you, my fellow readers, if there had been a delay in updating my fics. I have always explained why I had not found the time to update my fics: Busy with school, then university, coursework, or simply suffering from terrible cases of Writer's Block…

I felt that it would be fair to explain to you my current situation: One of my close relatives has been diagnosed with a serious illness, and the news has left me emotionally drained, to the point where I would click into my latest work… and have nothing to write. I would stare at my screen for hours, and would only be able to write a few words.

I would like to stress that I am _**NOT**_ abandoning my fics, nor am I cancelling my account. I am very eager to continue writing, and I will do when I have found my enthusiasm to write once again. However, I am uncertain _when_ I will return to update my fics; my relative will become increasingly ill throughout their treatment within the next couple of months, so it may be a number of days, perhaps even weeks before I will be able to use my imagination once more, for my help will be needed at home as part of their Support Team.

Therefore, I felt that it would be fair to inform my readers the current situation in which I am in, and how this will affect my writing. I am very sorry, for I know how infuriating it can be for an author to refuse to update their stories. I would like to remind my readers that I have not forgotten '_The Memoirs Of Amy Rose_' or _'Through The Looking Glass_', and that I am eager to continue the stories whenever I have the chance and the creative energy to do so. I do hope you, my fellow readers, understand. Should you wish to send me a PM, I will answer them whenever I can.

I apologise, once again, for the inconvenience.

Thank you for your time.

~_**Xoxomtmodnarxoxo**_


	23. Knuckles The Idiot

**Hey guys! Before I write disclaimers and what-not, I'd like to thank my readers who had been very understanding about my current situation at home and had sent me reassuring messages; it was very comforting to know that I'm not alone when circumstances like these happen. Things have been quite difficult recently, but the most important thing I have learned during this time is that my family member will still be themselves, regardless. When I met them after the unfortunate news had been revealed, I realised that it was true, and this had helped me to continue with my life, including my writing. It's still a shock, yes, but throughout this period of time my family and I have come to accept the situation we are in.**

**So, again, thank you for your understanding, and I've kept my word. Here's the latest entry from Amy! Now, to prevent confusion, I had decided to make this chapter to be a second installment from the previous entry, so in a sense, you can refer to this as 'part 2'' lol! I thought it would be easier this way since the storyline about the planet Zecko had been divided into two episodes in the anime series.**

**~Xoxomtmodnarxoxo**

**A/N: As seen in episode 56 of 'Sonic X'. Dialogue belongs to 4Kids. Narration belongs to myself. **

***'Batman Begins' belongs to DC Comics and Christopher Nolan.**

**** This small piece of dialogue belongs to myself. As obvious lol!**

* * *

_**Later**__: _

_Thank god Chris understood and accepted my apology. And it turns out that the aliens weren't lying, after all: they really did have a surprise waiting for us! God, it was just as fantastic as they had described it! _

"_We shall do our best to bestow upon you the thanks that you deserve, by holding a festival, today, in your honour", the leader of the pact offered, "A parade, music, dancing, and a feast to show our thanks!"_

_And, boy, did they show us a good time! God, the food was __**gorgeous**__, that I ended up scribbling down a few recipes for the main meals; the roast chicken was lovely and juicy underneath the skin (I caught Chris actually eating the skin on the roast chicken - honestly, I can't decide whether this is ordinary or truly disgusting!), the roast potatoes were cooked to perfection and were lovely and golden and buttery, and, oh, the Black Forest Gateau was simply divine; the way the whipped cream oozed between the layers of sponge and the decorative sweet cream on top of the gateau with the juicy cherries on top; the rich chocolate sponge glistening in the daylight, highlighting it's sugary goodness! I swear, it's as if the aliens knew that I was attempting to diet, and made it their mission to convert me to a member of Obese Teenagers Of Mobius! God, I actually very nearly drooled in my journal whilst writing about the food. And speaking of which, I've gained __**so**__ much weight from the feast! I look about three months pregnant! Right, it's time I took my dieting seriously._

_**Anyway**__, The music was so upbeat and lively that __**everybody**__ - and I'm not exaggerating when I say everybody - danced along to it, and the parade was outstanding with their gigantic floats and colourful decorations that it had the ability to put a smile on your face should it have crossed your path. I was in awe with the giant float; it was something you'd most likely find in a popular amusement park. I recalled right there and then Tails commenting how he wasn't '__**so sure**__' about the entire celebration. I was bemused over why Tails felt unsure about the entire thing; we were being thanked for our heroism, for God's sake! When you're offered something like that, you say 'yes please' straight away and enjoy yourself - __**not**__ reject the offer!_

_However, it turned out that Tails was right to feel wary about the parade. Whilst the float moved down the street, and the music played, one of the aliens grabbed a hold of Sonic. For one mad moment, I thought he was __**hugging**__ Sonic, but then he randomly tossed Sonic into the air. Sonic yelled out as he was flung onto a trampoline on a nearby float. I smirked as I watched the performance, but I began to feel a bit anxious. Were __**we**__ going to be thrown onto the float, too? Couldn't the aliens just be happy enough having us standing around and watching the parade rather than actually be __**in**__ the parade itself? Before I knew it, Tails was tossed onto the float alongside Sonic… and then an alien grabbed a hold of __**me**__!_

_And that was when I wanted to bid farewell to my dignity. Oh, God, it was so embarrassing! I had completely and utterly forgot that I was wearing my new lacy underwear until that very moment! Well… the underwear business began as a joke (that's what you get when you go on a shopping spree with the infamous Rouge!), and in all honesty… I didn't really pay attention to the underwear I put on this morning - mostly because I was still half-asleep at that time. But the idea of having my stupid underwear on display to complete strangers as well as Sonic… I just wanted to die right there and then! I protested bitterly as the alien grabbed a hold of me. The alien ignored me and threw me onto the float with the others, completely oblivious to my dire warnings of how I would probably scar the younger generation - and possibly excite the older male generation - of the alien species by giving them a quick flash of my thong. Thus, I looked like a complete ass being bounced up-and-down and up-and-down on the trampoline whilst holding my skirt down. God, why on Mobius did I not wear shorts?_

"_This is how we honour heroes!", the leader of the pact added. Was this guy for real? For fucking real? How were these aliens suppose to honour me when I was flashing my underwear like a sleazy stripper? God. What an idiot._

_To top things off, Knuckles, Cosmo and Cream had caught up with us to show off the Chaos Emerald they had found earlier today.__ I felt this was rather unnecessary since I was actually there when they found it. No. Correction: **Knuckles** had found it._

"_Because __**I**__ wasn't too busy partying with the locals", he added unnecessarily. My hand itched to gesture rudely at him, but it simply wasn't an option. So, we had to endure Knuckles smiling smugly at us whilst we yelled our heads off whilst trying hard not to get ourselves killed._

"_I'm appreciated enough!", Tails shouted. Understatement of the century!_

"_I can't take much more!", I shouted back. At this rate I was close to vomiting._

"_This is so wonderful!", I overheard Cosmo exclaim from below as she practically drooled over the Chaos Emerald, "I can't believe we've already found one!"_

_**Who the fuck cares about the stupid emerald!**__, I badly wanted to scream out loud, __**I'm practically showing my ass off up here!**_

_Much to my dismay, Cosmo and Cream joined us on the float and they actually __**enjoyed**__ bouncing up-and-down, whilst I prayed for the parade to come to an end._

* * *

_Thank God my lacy bits of nothing remained unseen by the general public as well as Sonic and the others. I was overwhelmed with relief when I eventually stepped off of the float… only to run straight to the bathroom to be sick! Gheez, I mean, I understand that the aliens only wanted to thank us by treating us like royalty, but in all honesty I felt more like a circus freak rather than a hero! What was wrong with celebrating by holding something, like, I don't know… a dance? An award ceremony…?_

_Anyway, the parade had led us right out of the city near the shoreline, and I thought that for one split second our adventure on the planet Zecko had come to an end… until Knuckles appeared out of the blue after wandering off and insisting that we should give Dr. Eggman the Chaos Emerald!_

"_He's promised to abandon his evil ways if we help him out!", Knuckles explained. Sonic sighed with exasperation. I second that emotion. It was hard to believe that somebody as stupid as Knuckles was a Guardian for the Master Emerald. I'm almost convinced that he must have cheated several tests in order to actually take responsibility as a Guardian. If you looked up the word 'idiot' in the Oxford Dictionary, it would be easy to visualise an illustration of Knuckles beside the definition of the word. Yep, it was almost unreal to see Knuckles falling for yet another trick from Dr. Eggman, even after falling for his previous tricks back on Earth. Seriously - you'd think that Knuckles would get the message by now that Dr. Eggman wasn't to be trusted __**at all**__!_

"_We've heard __**that**__ before!", Tails commented._

"_Tails is right", Chris chipped in. Knuckles looked at Chris as if he wanted to shoot him._

"_Dr. Eggman is always saying he'll abandon his evil ways, but he never does!", Cream protested. I smirked to myself. Even Cream's smarter than Knuckles, and she's __**six **__for God's sake!_

"_And yet every time he somehow gets you to believe him!", I added. Hey, even though it sounded harsh, it was the truth. This __**infuriated **__Knuckles._

"_Well!", he growled, "I wasn't asking __**your**__ permission!"_

_Despite our pleas, he marched up to Cosmo and grabbed the Chaos Emerald, silencing us all._

"_I'm the one who found this emerald", he insisted, "So I'll do what I want with it!"_

_Cosmo shot us a dismayed look. Poor Sonic had to get up and stop Knuckles in his tracks. As a result they began to corner one another and before we knew it, they began to fight one another. Which is quite normal behaviour for the both of them, really. When these random fights take place, I often ponder whether Sonic and Knuckles are actually friends or really enemies in disguise… It's actually hard to tell most of the time; one minute they would be arguing between one another and then they would often take part in stupid battles and insult one another until they're - literally! - blue in the face, and the next, they would be giving each other high-fives, and telling one another that they're 'alright', as if nothing ever happened between them. Well, Sonic is often the one insulting Knuckles, commenting how stupid and how much of a 'knuckle-head' Knuckles is, but he has a point. I mean, would __**you**__ fall for another one of Dr. Eggman's tricks after being fooled at least… three times? Yeah, I think it's been three times that Knuckles had been tricked by that fat, bald ape with an I.Q. of 300. _

_Anyway, I tried to distract myself from their battle by peering at our surroundings, until I noticed my legs. I began to panic, wondering if my legs had gotten fatter over the past couple of months. Indeed, they looked shapely as ever when I looked at them from the side, but I wasn't entirely convinced. My boots, in a way, made them look somewhat skinnier when I studied my legs at an angle. But then again my boots are white and red, and black clothes often make someone look skinnier. I couldn't tell whether my legs were fat or thin. Completely stuck, I turned to Cream._

"_Do these boots make my legs look too skinny?", I asked her anxiously._

"_They look just fine, Amy!", she reassured me, though I wasn't entirely convinced. Cream is only six years old, after all, so she wouldn't really understand the concept of always looking lovely and well-toned whilst growing up in a world where appearance is __**everything **__to a teenager. In a way she's lucky that she doesn't have to endure this just yet. Oh, if only I was young again where I didn't have to constantly worry about my appearance and my weight, and the only worries I __**would**__ have would be over silly things such as whether or not to wear my prettiest dress to a birthday party, or whether or not I should hide in my closet in order to avoid going to bed early…_

"_Excuse me!", Cosmo piped up, "Shouldn't we stop Knuckles and Sonic?"_

"_Nah", Tails dismissed Cosmo, "This is how they work their problems out"_

"_Yeah", Chris reassured her, "They do this all the time"_

"_They'll just fight until they get tired of fighting", I explained. Seriously; Cosmo had to learn how to relax!_

"_It's isn't a big deal!", Cream shrugged. Cosmo looked even more lost than ever._

"_I just don't understand these creatures!", I heard Cosmo murmur. Oh, so now we were considered __**creatures**__?_

_Before I could heckle her, the fight between Sonic and Knuckles had become slightly hardcore as they began to smash their way through boulders around us. Cosmo became more infuriated than ever._

"_I can't take it anymore!", she exclaimed. I smirked at her, bemused. Honestly, if she really didn't want to get involved in their fight, all she had to do was step aside and ignore them! Instead, she stupidly ran towards them._

"_Hey, Cosmo!", I called out, "I wouldn't get too close if I were you!"_

_Thankfully she took my advice and distanced herself away from Knuckles and Sonic. Although it's usually great seeing my blue hero in action, watching him fight Knuckles was becoming a teensy bit boring, since they do it every time they have a disagreement, that my mind began to drift elsewhere. I then heard somebody shrill, "Hi, Dr. Eggman!", but to be honest I thought nothing of it. It wasn't until I heard the same voice shout in the distance, "I won't, Dr. Eggman!", that I began to feel slightly suspicious. I scanned the area where the voice came from only to find a fat lump crawling towards the Chaos Emerald that was placed on top of a boulder nearby. I shook my head, then suddenly looked back at the fat lump. Oh, God! It was Dr. Eggman himself! Before he could even touch the Emerald, I stepped in front of him._

"_Nothing can stop me now!", Dr. Eggman grumbled to himself before he noticed I was there._

"_That's what __**you**__ think", I smirked, "But you're wrong"_

_I didn't really need an excuse to smash his face in. I instantly swung my hammer, causing Dr. Eggman to stumble back. Just at that moment we - with the exception of Sonic and Knuckles - gathered around him to interrogate him. It wasn't long before Knuckles joined us._

"_Eggman!", he exclaimed, "What are __**you**__ doing here?"_

"_You mean __**me**__?", Dr. Eggman struggled, "I-I was just about to consume this __**delicious**__ banana!", and ate his banana to prove his point. I closed my eyes in despair. For an evil genius who has an I.Q. of 300, he makes up the most ridiculous lies known to Mobiuskind. And I thought he was suppose to be **bright**, considering? I began interrogating him right there and then, demanding to know if it was true that he had used Knuckles as an alibi in order to get a hold of the Chaos Emerald._

"_Eggman!", Knuckles cried, "Is that true?"_

_Was Knuckles really this __**dense**__? It was __**so**__ fucking obvious!_

"_No, of course not!", Dr. Eggman insisted, "She's lying, Knuckles!"_

_Wha… How __**dare**__ he; claiming that I was a liar? I viciously swung my hammer at him, only to discover that Knuckles had pulled Dr. Eggman out of the way just in time._

"_Knuckles!", I shouted, "You have __**got **__to be kidding me! How many more times are you gonna fall for Eggman's tricks? Think about it!"_

_I briefly recalled the occasions where Knuckles was easily influenced by Knuckles, and felt anger build up inside of me. _

"_Seriously", I continued, "Eggman's __**never**__ gonna change!"_

_But that was just it. Knuckles still refused to listen to me, regardless of my attempts to remind him of his mistakes in the past. I refused to let him past so that he could obtain the Chaos Emerald, but he guffawed at my attempt to stop him. Sonic ended up stepping in to help me, but even then Knuckles wouldn't step down. Even Cosmo tried to convince Knuckles to change his mind, but she also failed. It just goes to show you how stubborn Knuckles can be the majority of the time._

_Then, out of nowhere, there was an almighty rumble, like an earthquake, and all of a sudden this robot emerged from the sand nearby, trapping Cosmo in it's giant hand during the process._

"Dr. Eggman_!", A familiar robotic voice echoed from the robot, "We're sorry we kept you waiting!"_

"_We're here to rescue you!", another familiar robotic voice piped up. I groaned in despair. Decoe and Bocoe. They began to bicker with Dr. Eggman, who insisted that he didn't __**need**__ rescuing and ended up revealing that Knuckles had fallen for his lies about turning over a new leaf, yada-yada-yada, just so that he could get the Chaos Emerald._

"_I don't believe it!", Knuckles shouted, "__**Eggman**__!"_

_I stared at Knuckles with disbelief. It felt insulting that he was more likely to believe Dr. Eggman than his own friends. Honestly, and I __**do**__ feel mean saying this over and over again, but Knuckles really __**is**__ stupid. I wonder if he ever graduated from high school…?_

_Hmm… that's given me a lot to think about, actually._

_Needless to say, Dr. Eggman didn't feel ashamed about lying to Knuckles and entered the robot in order to battle us. And that's not all; __**Cosmo**__ was being held captive by him! _

_Fact: when Knuckles tries to be the hero, we all lose._

"_Put her __**down**__, Eggman!", Knuckles shouted, referring to Cosmo. I raised my eyelids at him - like __**that**__ would make any difference!_

"_Don't think so!", Dr. Eggman sneered. So, the deal was that we were to hand over the Chaos Emerald, and __**then**__ they would spare Cosmo's life. Great. Blackmail. And just to make matters worse, there was __**another**__ almighty rumble, and all of a sudden this… this huge __**frog**__ thing appeared out of nowhere!_

_I gasped deeply._

"_What the __**fuck**__ is that?", I screamed out loud******. It turned out to be a Metarex! Then, out of nowhere, Dr. Eggman's robot began to battle the Metarex, instantly dropping Cosmo in the process. At least Knuckles had the heart to catch her before she plummeted towards her death. That's what I kind of like about Knuckles: true, he's an idiot the majority of the time, but he still cares deeply about his friends._

_The battle against the two robots looked like something out of an action movie: they began wrestling one another until Dr. Eggman's robot used a drill in order to dismantle the Metarex's robot's armour, but it turned out the armour was too strong even for __**him**__. As a result, the frog robot used it's robotic tongue to trip Dr. Eggman's robot over, in which it landed on the ground with an almighty crash. When it stood back up, Dr. Eggman's robot pulled out a sharp sword and lunged towards the frog robot. I got to admit, Dr. Eggman sure knows how to accessorise his robots! Unfortunately, the frog robot jumped out of the way and used it's tongue to grab a hold of the robot's arm. Dr. Eggman's robot grabbed a hold of the tongue with it's hand, only to be electrocuted by the robot. Ha, serves him right, really! In fact, it was so severe that it completely destroyed Dr. Eggman's robot, causing Dr. Eggman and his henchmen to fly off into the distance, cursing over their failure of obtaining the Chaos Emerald._

_Trying to make it up to us, Knuckles attempted to destroy the Metarex robot by using his Shovel Claws, but sadly failed. Sonic had a go himself by using his Dash-Spin, but not even __**he**__ could destroy the robot. The robot lashed out by using it's dangerous tongue to tackle Knuckles and Sonic, whilst the rest of us stood in the background, watching them fight. I mean, don't get me wrong, __**I**__ would have stepped in to help, but would __**you**__ happily volunteer to try and destroy a robot that not even __**Sonic**__ could destroy…?_

_Funny. Neither would I._

_So, it turned out that the Metarex was there so it could take the Planet Egg away from us. God. Seriously, how about some peace for, like, five minutes?_

_Thankfully Chris and Tails had come up with a plan to lure the Metarex away from us; they used a volleyball by pretending that it was the Planet Egg, and used one of the floats, which looked very much like a ship, to distract the Metarex robot. It worked as they began to manoeuvre the ship away from the robot, forcing the robot to follow them, hoping to take the 'Planet Egg' from them. Sonic, on the other hand, ran towards the Big Cannon on the Blue Typhoon. Chris used the trampoline to bounce up-and-down and threw the volleyball far away. I couldn't help but frown at this; just __**what**__ was Chris doing? Knuckles then jumped into the air and caught the volleyball, thinking it was the Planet Egg. However, his plan backfired as the Metarex robot used it's tongue to capture Knuckles. But just as things looked bad, Sonic shot out of the Big Cannon and targeted the robot, destroying it as a result!_

_Knuckles landed safely on the ground with the ball. Oh, his face was epic when he discovered that he was carrying the volleyball instead! Still, thank god he saw the funny side of it and joined in on our joke. He then apologised sincerely to us all, admitting that he had been very stupid._

"_We're not gonna hold it against ya, Knuckles!", Sonic promised, "You just made a bad call - that's all!"_

_And as much as I hate to admit it, Sonic was right. Once in a while, we all make stupid mistakes. God, every time I look back at old entries in my journal, I realise that even __**I **__make pretty big mistakes from time to time. So really, whenever I criticise Knuckles, I'm really a hypocrite, which makes me feel really bad about myself. I suppose Knuckles isn't __**very**__ stupid - he can be very clever from time to time, and if it wasn't for him, I'm pretty sure we would have been defeated by Dr. Eggman in numerous occasions. I think his problem is that he's simply __**too**__ understanding, __**too**__ considerate and easily influenced. But at least __**now**__ he's officially learned his lesson about trusting Dr. Eggman. That's the main thing._

_Like I said, Mobians make mistakes from time to time. God, if we were perfect in every single way possible, then we wouldn't be Mobian! And Mobius would be a boring planet to live on if we didn't have any mistakes whatsoever in which we can rely on to help improve ourselves in the future. I remember this quote from this movie called __**'Batman Begins'**__ that Chris made me watch back on Earth (not exactly my cup of tea) which has always stuck in my mind during times like these: The reason we fall over in life is so that we can learn to pick ourselves up again*****._

_At least the next time Knuckles bumps into Dr. Eggman, he will learn to be more suspicious over anything that Dr. Eggman might tell him, and that Dr. Eggman is **definitely **lying if the Egghead claims to be eating a stupid banana when caught in an awkward situation!_

* * *

_**Later**__: God. I feel so embarrassed. Remember when I complained about gaining so much weight after eating the delicious food from the feast? Well, I was sort-of exaggerating when I wrote that, because, well, I knew deep down that eventually the food in my stomach would digest and move on and that I would be back to my skinny old self again. It's always been that way. _

_But now I'm beginning to think otherwise._

_When we got back to the Blue Typhoon, we all decided to call it a night after the fiasco today. I decided to get a glass of water before going to bed and whilst I was filling my glass with water, I noticed my reflection on the toaster nearby…_

_My stomach stuck out underneath my nightdress so that I suddenly looked around three months pregnant. I gasped when I saw this, and stood at various angles to inspect the sudden bulge. I __**know**__ that I'm not pregnant - the pregnancy tests and the visit to the doctor's had confirmed that I was never pregnant with Shadow's child or anyone else's for that matter._

_I suddenly gasped. It was so obvious. The only reason I looked fatter was because I never took my diets seriously. Nowadays, I would declare that I would go on a diet, only to give up within a number of days. And… I can't help it if I like to have a treat once in a while. I mean, it's not a crime to enjoy a sugary treat from time to time… right?_

_I continued to peer at my reflection. I began to panic as I studied my face. My face also looked alarmingly fat, and to make matters worse I also had pimples developing on my skin. It was so obvious that I had a seriously bad diet. Instead of looking like a radiant beauty, I looked like a fat troll. I sucked in my cheeks to see what I would look like with visible cheekbones… it's __**so **__embarrassing to admit that my face is so round, even when I suck my cheeks in, that I can't even __**find**__ my cheekbones! And my __**thighs**__! I peeked at them and gasped. They looked larger than they appeared earlier today, and now that I've noticed how big they've become, I can actually feel them wobble whenever I move my legs. Since __**when**__ did I gain so much weight?_

_When the realisation hit me, I felt myself becoming breathless with anxiety as I desperately clutched my nightdress. _

_**Was I as fat as Dr. Eggman…?**_

_**FATTER…?**_

_What would Sonic think? Would he care if I gained a bit of weight? No… I don't think he would care of I gained weight. I mean, he loves me for who I am, so what difference would it make if I become slightly curvy? Since when did I care what other Mobians thought about my appearance? I mean, I haven't had any complaints from guys before, so why do I suddenly feel so insecure about my appearance?_

_I know why._

_When I skimmed through my diary, I re-read the entry where Sonic was seeing Sally, and I recalled how utterly __**perfect**__ she looked appearance-wise; her gorgeous glossy fur, beautiful blue eyes… and the fact that she looked like a size six, whereas I am currently a size ten in clothing. Seriously - how does she do it? It also made me wonder: does Sonic prefer pretty, skinny girls? _

_No. It couldn't be. After all, he chose __**me**__ over Sally, right?_

_But still…_

_I mean look at me! How the Hell would want to date a fat lump like me?_

_I seriously need to lose this extra weight and prove to Sonic that I care about my appearance. So, since cutting down on junk food and attempting different diets haven't worked for me so far, there's only one solution left for me._

_I am going to stop eating altogether._

_Yours,_

_Amy._


	24. Dying To Be Thin

**Hey guys! **

**I am so, so, so, so SORRY about the EXTREMELY long delay on this fic :( I had coursework leading up to Christmas and THEN I had to spend the Christmas period shopping, socialising, and visiting family and after new year I had to revise for my exams - so needless to say my fics remained neglected LOL! But now I'm getting back into writing so I'm hoping to update as much as possible from now on lol yay!**

**Again, thank you for your patience and enjoy the chapter!**

**~Xoxomtmodnarxoxo**

*** As seen in episode 57 of 'Sonic X'**

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_I am losing the will to live. I so want to lie to you, my dear diary, and claim that my new diet is working. _

_But it isn't. Isn't, isn't, isn't. If I can be perfectly honest, this is the worst diet I've ever had to endure. At first, I challenged myself to stick to very small salads and to rely only on coffee to keep my energy levels up. I know deep down that I was exaggerating a bit in my last entry when I declared that I wasn't going to eat again. I told myself to stick to small, simple salads that consisted of low calories and black coffee to keep my energy levels up at the beginning, but after weighing myself with my scales after two days I was so horrified with how much I weighed and how long it was actually taking me to burn calories that I decided right there and then to not eat anything at all._

_That was over a week ago, and since then the coffee has only helped ever so slightly. It was a great help at first, but as the days gradually went by, my energy levels deteriorated and I've been constantly running to the bathroom because of the caffeine. Needless to say, the coffee became a terrible laxative. I remember during the week after one my trips to the bathroom, Tails went in after me, and just as I was hobbling back to my compartment, he made a rather rude suggestion about me using air freshener in the near future…_

_The others haven't been much help either. God knows why we chose Cream and Cosmo to cook our meals for us. Every single day has been terrible because they always make __**gorgeous **__meals. I refused to eat their meals and made my own salads for the first couple of days, only to deliberately skip meals shortly after. I didn't tell anyone that I was dieting, but I have this feeling that they knew the whole time. I mean, why would they go to such trouble by making fantastic meals like spaghetti Bolognese, Bacon-Lettuce-Tomato sandwiches, Chocolate fudge cake, cheese pizzas, meat loaf, macaroni cheese, chicken, vanilla muffins, sugar cookies…? I could continue this list, but I'm just __**so **__hungry that I could very easily drool on this page if I'm not careful. Or begin to chew on my pillow for that matter. That's another thing I've had to put up with – since I began to skip meals, the others have noticed and thought it would be a nice gesture to keep me company on the main Blue Typhoon base during meals. They probably got it into their head that I was feeling lonely and sat with me whilst eating their meals, but in all honesty, it made things much worse. I actually had to stop myself from stealing rashes of bacon from Sonic's hand! But I managed to restrain myself from looking like a mad Mobian._

_I thought I was in control of my diet, but I was wrong. The diet sucked ass. I hated having to avoid everybody as they innocently at their meals. I hated having to rely on coffee to keep me awake and the dreaded visits to the bathroom. I hated feeling dizzy when I stood up suddenly or when I sat down. I hated feeling awful in the morning and feeling anti-social and moody and having a weird metallic taste in my mouth the majority of the time. I __**knew **__I had to stop the diet eventually, but for some odd reason… I allowed my diet to dominate my life._

_I wish I could talk about our recent adventures within the universe; it involved colliding into a planet that appeared to have gone through an ice age, and nobody really wanted to endure the blizzard conditions on the planet but it turned out that there was actually a Chaos Emerald hidden on the planet. I don't want to go into details, but, as ever, the Metarex and Rouge constantly interrupted our plans on getting the Emerald and at the end of the day we actually __**lost **__the Chaos Emerald to Rouge. But it was okay, to be honest; it turned out the emerald was fake the whole time.*****_

_I feel awful that my descriptions about our last mission are so brief. What if the Metarex War were to become a segment of significant contemporary history in years to come? Would historians refer to my diary entries as a source of historical evidence, and then realise that my brief entries were not sufficient? When I really do think about it, I'm not so sure if I would want to publish my diary as an autobiography. I mean, who would really want to read scribbled pages by a troubled teenager who does nothing but moan about her everyday life? These entries are my private thoughts and feelings about situations and other Mobians – I would die of embarrassment if anybody read you, my dear diary, like Sonic did when we were still on Planet Earth. Despite the fact that Sonic had apologised in the past for reading my diary, my blood still boils over the very idea!_

_Also… because of missing meals, I haven't actually had the energy to recall what had happened specifically and who said what and why we were fighting against the Metarex… This is the down-side of dieting: you become an entirely different Mobian at the end of the day, and you end up feeling very unwell. _

_I learned this the hard way._

_Just yesterday I was feeling worse than ever before. I remember being in the kitchen with Cosmo and Knuckles – yes, he actually socialises with us once in a while – and Cosmo was busy baking cupcakes. If I had the chance, I would have avoided the kitchen altogether as not to associate with the sweet scents of cake mix, but I wanted to prove to myself that I had learned to control myself in regards to handling food. So I forced a smile on my face whilst Cosmo fussed around with baking trays and the oven. She checked on the cupcakes on a regular basis._

"_I think these are going to be my best cupcakes yet!", she exclaimed and focussed her attention on me, "What do you think?"_

"_I don't know", I replied casually, "Probably"_

"_I'll need to get round to making the icing", she continued, "Which do you guys prefer? Strawberry, vanilla, or chocolate?"_

"_Don't worry about me", Knuckles remarked, "They're just cupcakes after all"_

"_Yeah", I agreed and I felt Knuckles frown at me, for it is very rare if I agree with whatever Knuckles comes away with, "The icing won't make much difference. Tails and the others will just stuff the cupcakes down their throats without a second thought"_

"_Just trying to make conversation", Cosmo commented softly, raising her eyelids. I rolled my eyes at her remark. I couldn't determine whether it was her annoying, hard-to-please attitude or the fact that we were arguing about stupid cakes that made me feel moody._

"_Look", I declared, "Just pick a flavour and make the stupid icing!"_

_An awkward silence followed._

"_Gheez, who pulled your chain?", Knuckles commented and shook his head, "I'm outta here", and with that he left the kitchen, leaving me to face Cosmo's wrath. Cosmo looked at me. I attempted to avoid eye contact with her and poured myself a glass of water – at least it was something to help me escape the horrible silence between us._

"_I'm going to the main base", I announced, holding my cup of water. Cosmo suddenly reached out and grabbed my arm._

"_No, wait a minute, Amy", she began in her soft tone of voice. I glanced at her and then focussed on her grip on my arm. I hated the idea of what Cosmo would have thought digging her fingers into my marshmallow-like skin. She probably would have thought of me as a Mobian who didn't know the meaning of the words 'healthy eating'. I could smell the cupcakes in the oven; the smell began to take its toll on me. Oh God, I badly wanted to risk scalding my hands by grabbing the cupcakes out of the oven right there and then and sinking my teeth into a sweet, creamy cake... I __**had **__the opportunity to do so. The oven was right in front of me. All I had to do was shove Cosmo out of the way and open the oven…_

_My stomach let off a loud gurgle. I suddenly felt light-headed._

"_What is it, Cosmo?", I asked wearily, rubbing my forehead. Cosmo peered at me._

"_What's wrong with you, Amy?", she asked, "Are you feeling okay?"_

"_Just a bit dizzy", I slurred as I sipped my water. I still didn't feel any better. The room and Cosmo began to spin right in front of me. I felt my legs begin to buckle. Cosmo noticed this and sat me down on a chair._

"_Put your head between your legs", she advised me._

"_**What**__?", I exclaimed, appalled by the idea._

"_It stops you from fainting", she told me, and then sat down beside me as I reluctantly put my head between my legs. Cosmo patted my back reluctantly._

"_What's wrong, Amy?", she continued, "Have you got something against me?"_

"_What?", I mumbled, and immediately shook my head, wincing as my vision began to spin, "No… no, I've got nothing against you"_

"_It's just that…", Cosmo hesitated, "I sometimes get the impression that you don't like me"_

_**What is she talking about?**__, I thought._

"_I mean", she began, "When I arrived on your planet, you were rude to me. When I'm in here, you avoid me. When I keep you company during meals, you don't speak to me and you give the impression that you couldn't care less about what I'm talking about. Also, when Cream and I make treats for everyone, you refuse to eat them and leave the room. God, even today with the cupcakes you snapped at me! Is there something I've done wrong?"_

"_No!", I protested, looking at her properly, "No-no-no-no-no!"_

"_Then", she paused, "What __**is **__it?"_

"_It's…", I paused, "It's complicated"_

"_Is it about Sonic?", she asked suddenly._

"_Eh?"_

"_It's just that I try to keep my distance around him and I only see him as a friend", she gabbled, "I don't want you to get the impression that I'm trying to steal him from you. And besides… there's somebody else I like-"_

"_You think this is about Sonic?", I asked, and despite my dodgy stomach, I began to laugh. Cosmo stared at me before she began to laugh herself._

"_No", I giggled, "You've got the wrong end of the stick, Cosmo! I __**like **__you, and this has nothing to do with Sonic. It's…", I swallowed nervously, "It's me"_

"_Oh?", she asked, "Then what's wrong?"_

"_It's just… stupid stuff", I lied, "But it has __**nothing**__ to do with you or Sonic. I really, really like you, Cosmo!"_

"_Oh", Cosmo smiled, relieved, "Okay then"_

"_I may act like a bitch sometimes", I continued, "But don't take it personally, hon! It's just that there may be things happening in my life, and I like to handle them on my own. Don't blame yourself, Cosmo, __**please**__"_

"_Alright", she agreed, "But if there's anything wrong, you'd tell me, right?"_

"_Right", I lied. Without warning, the oven pinged. Cosmo glanced at it and then back at me, and grinned._

"_The cupcakes are ready!", she trilled, "Want one?"_

_My smile vanished. I don't know why, but a part of me was convinced that the reason Cosmo was offering me a cupcake was because I must have looked so fat in her eyes that she would have assumed that I would eat everything in sight and, thus, would be very unlikely to reject a free cupcake. However, another side of me told me I was being ridiculous and that I should have a cupcake as an act of kindness, but mostly because they smelt delicious…_

_Guess which side won?_

"_Are you __**trying **__to make me fat?", I found myself shouting at Cosmo, and ran out of the kitchen, abandoning her. I convinced myself that if I didn't run away quickly enough, Cosmo would catch up with me, tackle me, and shove the stupid cakes down my throat - one-by-one – and grin at the sight of my thighs becoming larger, and larger, and larger, and larger…_

_I found my feet dragging me towards the main compartment of the Blue Typhoon. Cream, Cheese, and Tails were already there. They smiled when they saw me._

"_Hi Amy", Tails greeted me, "How are you?"_

_But I barely heard him. I began to feel light-headed again. But this time it was much, much worse. My vision became extremely blurry, the underlying metallic taste in my mouth made me feel sick, and I began to sway on my feet. I was going to faint. I was going to faint. I was going to faint…_

"_Amy?", Tails asked as he approached me. My breathing became scarce. My legs buckled._

"_I… I think I'm…", I whispered, and I felt myself falling backwards. I expected my body to smack into the hard floor… only to find myself falling into somebody's arms._

"_Amy?", I heard a familiar voice echo, "It's going to be okay…"_

_Everything went dark._

* * *

"_You okay, Amy?", Sonic asked as he approached me with a plate of food and a mug of tea. I sat up from the couch I lay across, and peered at him. I knew what was going to happen next; I was going to go through an intervention. Well, I suppose it was okay since it was only me and Sonic – I could at least talk to him. I nestled back into the couch._

"_Mm", I answered, not wanting to make eye-contact with him. Sonic sat down beside me and placed the plate of food – consisting of two triangle sandwiches and a slice of strawberry sponge cake – and the mug of tea onto the coffee table in front of us._

"_So, do you want to tell me what's going on?", he began._

"_No", I mumbled,_

"_C'mon Amy", he coaxed me, "You can trust me to tell me what's going on, right? Are you not feeling well? Should we get you a doctor?"_

"_I doubt that would make a difference", I piped up, "Even if you got a doctor, they won't help me whatsoever… I'll still stay as fat as ever"_

"_Fat…?", Sonic paused, "Is that what this is about? Do you think you're overweight?"_

"_It's not that I don't __**think**__ I'm fat", I complained as I sat up and leaned against Sonic , "I __**know **__I'm fat"_

"_What?", Sonic asked as he automatically put his arm around me, "What brought this on, Amy? What made you think you're fat?"_

"_Well", I swallowed nervously, tears forming in my eyes, "I just keep thinking about that Sally and how perfect her body is… and I just felt… I don't know… insignificant or mediocre compared to her-"_

"_Amy, stop that", Sonic demanded firmly. I pulled away from him, glaring at him._

"_**Look **__at me!", I cried, "I'm the fattest hedgehog ever!"_

"_No you're not!", Sonic argued, "Amy, you're being ridiculous!"_

"_What?", I demanded, unable to believe his attitude, "Oh, well that's just great, isn't it? I thought you of all my friends would be supportive of my plans to lose weight! I never thought you'd be such a jerk!"_

"_Amy, you're __**fine **__the way you are!", Sonic shouted, "For God's sake, you're __**not**__ fat, and you do __**not **__need to lose weight!"_

"_Yes I do!", I shouted, "I need to lose weight! I'm so fat!"_

"_**YOU'RE NOT**__!", Sonic roared at me. I'd never seen Sonic so angry until that very moment. If I could be perfectly honest, I was quite scared. Sonic paused and cleared his throat, regaining himself._

"_Amy, you're not fat", he continued calmly, "You're perfectly fine the way you are. I like you the way you are, and just because Sally may weigh a little less than you, it does __**not **__mean that you are unattractive! I chose you, right?"_

"_Right", I whispered._

"_If I didn't like you because of your weight, I wouldn't have looked twice at you", he explained, " But I don't judge Mobians by their weight – I'm not shallow", he paused, "Amy, __**look **__at yourself in the mirror, and tell me what you see"_

_I turned round to peer at myself in the mirror across from me. I saw an average-looking hedgehog with a pale complexion, limp quills, and dark smudges under her eyes. It shocked me to the core over how ill I looked; I didn't look like me at all. I wanted to cry._

"_I…", I croaked, "I see an unhappy hedgehog who looks malnourished and desperate for something to eat"_

"_What about her weight?", Sonic asked. I remained silent, and then found my voice once more._

"_She looks normal", I whispered and burst into tears. Sonic wrapped his arms around me. I snuggled into him, sniffling._

"_Problem is", he reassured me, "As we get older, we become more aware of how we look. Me? Not really – I've never been too fussed over how I look. But that's just who I am", he paused, "You have a different personality from me, so you might care about your appearance than what I do - and that's okay! But the thing is, others will love you for your __**personality**__, and if you want others to love you for who you are… you need to love __**yourself**__ for who you are. Do you get where I'm coming from?"_

"_Yeah", I whispered, rubbing my eyes._

"_So you feel self-conscious about your weight", Sonic continued, "You're not the first and you won't be the last, either. __**Never **__convince yourself that you're something you're not", he paused briefly, "I'm just glad we sorted this out before your problem got out of hand"_

"_I just want to be happy about myself", I whispered. Sonic chuckled as he stroked my quills._

"_So do I, Amy!", he agreed, "I remember a certain Amy Rose who used to get frustrated and lose her temper if somebody harmed or threatened her friends or loved ones, but what made her different from others was that she was happy with who she was and had no complaints about her appearance", he breathed out and looked at me fondly, "And now I know this mature Amy Rose who notices that her lifestyle is changing before her very eyes, and is suddenly afraid of being judged by others in case she doesn't live up to other Mobians' expectations"_

"_True", I mumbled, nuzzling into him._

"_Now", Sonic continued, "It's alright to feel that way, but I prefer the lively, cheeky Amy Rose I once knew", he grinned, "Life was much more fun when I had you chasing after me!"_

"_Okay", I smirked, "I'll try to change the attitude", I then sat up and focussed my attention on the plate of food._

"_Sonic?", I piped up._

"_Yeah, toots?"_

"_Are those for me?"_

"_Well, what do you think?", he asked, grinning. I scrambled forward and eagerly grabbed the plate._

"_Thank God!", I exclaimed whilst snatching a sandwich, "I'm starving!"_

"_That's what I've been meaning to ask you", Sonic piped up, "Have you been eating properly for the past couple of days?"_

"_Honestly", I confided in him, "No"_

"_Then you'd better eat those damn sandwiches!", Sonic joked, laughing. I laughed with him as I eagerly bit into the sandwich._

* * *

_It just goes to show you that being a teenager in today's society can be very stressful. When we grow up, we become exposed to many aspects that make us who we are and influence us to believe what type of young adult we are expected to be. This mainly occurs in teenagers being exposed to anorexic models in tv shows or fashion magazines, or are pressurised by their friends to look a particular way in order to fit in. Else, they feel insignificant and worthless around other Mobians their own age. It's stupid, and I learned this the hard way. However, it could have been far worse. If a teenager becomes anorexic or bulimic, they'll go to extreme lengths to staying slim and can endanger their lives – that includes physically starving themselves, self-induced vomiting, even taking laxatives to burn calories through excessive diarrhoea – and most of the time they don't want to admit that going to such extreme lengths can lead to heart or kidney failure – or even death. I was lucky that I had my friends to be there for me when I needed them the most, particularly when my diet got out of control. It was terrifying when I fainted, but it was also a wake-up call to me that I was risking my own health. I had to stop my diet sooner or later, and this was enough to persuade me._

_And Sonic was right – starving myself was completely and utterly stupid. It's scary to think that the media and ignorant friends expect teenagers to practically kill themselves in order to feel accepted if they're not considered 'perfect'. The most important aspect a Mobian can have is their unique personality. Why, even the most obese Mobian on the planet could have the most friends and loved ones because they have a loving nature and personality – not because of how much they weigh on the scales. _

_As long as your friends and family accept you for who you are – then you're set for life… just make sure you eat __**properly**__, ignore the anorexic models in the media, learn to love and be yourself, 'cause in the end __**you'll **__be the winner – I mean, would you rather hate yourself and be at Death's door, or be healthy, happy and making the most of your life?_

_Your teenage years should be fun – not stressful._

_Yours,_

_Amy._


	25. Update 2014: Apologies

**Dear Readers,**

**No, your eyes are not deceiving you – this is xoxomtmodnarxoxo writing to you personally after a very long time since my last updates for 'The Memoirs of Amy Rose' and 'Through The Looking Glass'.**

**Foremost, I would like to apologise for my temporary leave of absence from . I assure you I did not do this for public appeal or to receive more reviews from readers, actually entirely the opposite. **

**My first reason for discontinuing my writing was due to the fact that my workload at university practically doubled when I entered 3****rd**** year. It was such a stressful year: assignment after assignment after assignment and on top of those, exams! Now that I've very nearly completed my 4****th**** (Honours) year, circumstances have not changed at all – I am still very preoccupied in my studies and dissertation work, and by the time I sit down at 11pm to rest and write… I fall asleep! Fellow undergraduates, you would understand my position, but for those who are not undergraduates, you have to be very committed to your studies by the time you enter 3****rd****/4****th**** year. So, my apologies for that.**

**My second reason was due to personal circumstances around my family life during the past year. I'm sure most of my readers may recall that in 2011-2012, one of my family members fell ill which delayed my writing on . Unfortunately they are still very ill, however it was actually my father who recently fell ill with bowel cancer last year. It was a very stressful and emotional time for all of us, which ultimately led to me attending counselling sessions to overcome the emotional burden associated with his treatment, which in turn discouraged me from writing unless I was forced (e.g. coursework/dissertation). The good news is he is now on remission (100% no cancer) which we are all very grateful for. So again, my apologies for recent events.**

**However, I have good news. Since life is only just returning to normal for myself, I am now planning to return to in MAY/JUNE 2014 assuming I am graduating in July 2014. I have realised I have neglected my writing for far too long, and I am eager to continue my writing. **

**In the meantime, I'd like to thank you all for your patience, and to keep an eye out for any updates in 'Through The Looking Glass' and 'The Memoirs of Amy Rose' come Summer 2014.**

**Kindest regards,**

**xoxomtmodnarxoxo**


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